Disgraced former President Trump has defeated former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley in the Palmetto State’s Republican primary, National Zero projects with 0 percent of precincts reporting to our non-existent decision desk. Just call it a hunch that the fat bastard won the primary.

We’ll update this article with the actual results. In the meantime here’s some of the exit poll results, even though exit polls are mostly useless: Per MSNBC, 32 percent say Trump is unfit for office if convicted of a crime. CNN found about 2/3rds saying Biden was not legitimately elected.

“WHEREAS, the Republican National Committee raises many millions of dollars each year with the singular purpose of electing Republican candidates across the country; WHEREAS, the RNC spends tens of millions of dollars to help ensure free and fair elections; WHEREAS, the Republican National Committee should focus its spending on political efforts associated with winning elections and make clear from this point forward that the RNC’s financial resources are to be used to assist candidates across the country winning elections in 2024,” says a resolution by Mississippi RNC member Henry Barbour, to be considered at their meeting next month, obtained by the Dispatch on Saturday.

Continued: “WHEREAS, spending any RNC financial resources for any candidate’s personal, business, or political legal expenses, not related to the 2024 election cycle, does not serve the RNC’s primary mission of helping to elect our candidates in 2024; therefore, be it RESOLVED, that the Republican National Committee will not pay the legal bills of any of our candidates for any federal or state office, but will focus our spending on efforts directly related to the 2024 election.”

American and British forces attacked 18 Houthi rebel encampments in Yemen in the continued campaign to stop attacks on military and commercial shipping in the Red Sea, with missiles fired from US Navy ships in the region as well as a British Akrotiri air base in Cyprus, the Guardian reports.

“The militaries of the United States and United Kingdom, with support from Australia, Bahrain, Canada, Denmark, the Netherlands, and New Zealand, conducted an additional round of strikes against several targets in Houthi-controlled areas of Yemen,” US military officials in the region said in a statement. “These precision strikes are intended to disrupt and degrade the capabilities that the Houthis use to threaten global trade, naval vessels, and the lives of innocent mariners in one of the world’s most critical waterways.  The Houthis’ now more than 45 attacks on commercial and naval vessels since mid-November constitute a threat to the global economy, as well as regional security and stability, and demand an international response.”

“The audacity of Donald Trump to speak to a room full of Black voters during Black History Month as if he isn’t the proud poster boy for modern racism. This is the same man who falsely accused the Central Park 5, questioned George Floyd’s humanity, compared his own impeachment trial to being lynched, and ensured the unemployment gap for Black workers spiked during his presidency.”

“Donald Trump has been showing Black Americans his true colors for years: An incompetent, anti-Black tyrant who holds us to such low regard that he publicly dined with white nationalists a week after declaring his 2024 candidacy. Come November, no matter how many disingenuous voter engagement events he attends, Black Americans will show Donald Trump we know exactly who he is,” writes Biden Campaign Black Media Director Jasmine Harris in a statement ripping the fat fuck.

It was a direct response to Trump telling a Black conservative group on Saturday that his 91 felony charges in four jurisdictions are “why the Black people like me, because they have been hurt so badly and discriminated against. And they actually viewed me as – I’m being discriminated against. It’s been pretty amazing.” He should really start selling “Orange Lives Matter” t-shirts.

Various political news media reports on Saturday indicate that, as of this writing, there is in fact voting underway in a Republican primary election in South Carolina. Though this primary election will determine the GOP candidates for a number of different offices, most of the attention appears to be directed at the top of the ticket, the former governor of the Palmetto State Nikki Haley and the twice-impeached and four times-indicted 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump, facing each other for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination. However since Trump is widely expected to defeat Haley by a margin possibly even well north of 50 or even 60 percent, the primary election is effectively a perfunctory exercise. But what the hell, why not just do it anyway.

Disgraced former President Trump speaks to a crowd of his most devoted cultists on the final day of the 2024 Comic-Con for fascist involuntarily celibate American cosplayers called CPAC.

George Washington University Professor Randall Eliason tells CNN that going this long with no word whatsoever from the Supreme Court on disgraced former President Trump’s petition for “presidential immunity” from the charges brought in DC by Jack Smith over the MAGA Reich’s failed post-2020 election coup attempt is actually a bad sign for the fat bastard, that Los Supremos probably would have granted certiorari already if they were going to do so, and the only holdup is probably Clarence Thomas and/or Sam Alito writing a lengthy dissent. “I think that’s the most likely reason.”

Other smart guy Steve Vladeck concurred. “The longer it takes the court to act on former President Trump’s application, the less likely it seems that the court’s ruling will be a precursor to some additional process,” such as arguments, he said. “Instead, delay will increasingly augur in favor of some kind of conclusive resolution,” that is more or less imminent, putting a June trial on track.

Ron DeSantis keeps screwing over the people of Florida.  Besides having to deal with intentionally ignorant GOP policy as well as the normal disaster like hurricanes and Matt Gaetz, Floridians must now deal with a spreading measles outbreak caused, most experts agree, by Florida Surgeon General Dr. Joseph Ladapo, the anti-vax, pandemic-denying California transplant recruited by DeSantis for his anti-establishment, anti-science views.

Per NBC News, Ladapo sent a letter to elementary school students around the state on Tuesday informing them they get to decide if they think their child is contagious after a measles diagnosis, and the parent gets choose to send their children to school.  “Due to the high immunity rate in the community, as well as the burden on families and educational cost of healthy children missing school, DOH is deferring to parents or guardians to make decisions about school attendance.”

So far this year, there have been 35 reported cases of measles in the United States, a low number because people generally listen to intelligent medical professionals, not politicians in white coats.  Florida now has seven active cases, including a five-year-old child.  “Measles is the most infectious pathogen in humans that we know of,” said Kimberlin. “It’s like a heat-seeking missile. It will find the people who are not immune, and they’re going to get sick,” said Dr. David Kimberlin, co-director of the division of pediatric infectious diseases at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

• If Donald Trump paid one dollar each second, it would take him roughly 14 years, four months and 24 days to pay off the current amount of the New York civil decision.
• Alabama’s Supreme Court decision demonstrates how shallow GOP policies are.  They do not consider the consequences of their culture war crazes.  The real-world pain that is already occurring for IVF patients in the state is unimaginable, and the opportunity for these aspiring parents may be lost because of assholes in robes.
• How fun would it be if George Soros put up the money to fund Trump’s (certain to fail) appeal?  Think the RNC would make a move when their frontrunner is in the pocket of the man they’ve demonized for more than a decade? Or would he suddenly be A-OK after Don calls him “a good friend, real good guy.”
• Republicans cannot condemn the obviously erroneous Alabama “supreme” court decision on embryos because of their cult programming:  they can never condemn any act, even the most heinous or erroneous, because they are incapable of saying a Party position is wrong. Think not?  See also Trump and Santos, and listen to the resounding silence decrying Carlson’s interview of Putin.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLXI”

“Unlike racist Joe Biden, I’ve spent my entire life working hand-in-hand with Black Americans to create jobs, build buildings, invest in our community, and expand opportunities and freedom for citizens of every race, religion culture and creed, and we have, I built a lot of buildings, and I wanna tell you, a Black worker is a great worker, you’ve done an incredible job, they’ve done an incredible job,” the man who cares about his audience less than shingles, Donald Trump, tells a group of Black conservatives in South Carolina on the eve of the primary.  In fact, Donald Trump lost more than 2.5 million jobs as president, and as a real estate developer, was fined for racist renting practices.

Duplicating a program started in California last year, Maryland lawmakers proposed an 11% excise tax on guns and ammunition sold in the state to be directed to the state’s emergency care trauma centers in hospitals around the state, the units that primarily deal with gunshot wound victims, the Baltimore Banner reports.

Maryland has eleven trauma centers around the state, including the top-level Maryland Shock Trauma operated at the University of Maryland Hospital in Baltimore.  This year’s budget for the trauma units projected a $30 million shortfall; the proposed new tax would raise more than $22 million.

The excise tax would be added on top of all other costs, and retailers would pass it along to consumers.  The plan to fund Maryland trauma units through firearm sales replicates the Maryland Trauma Physician Services Fund, which puts a $5 fee on all vehicle licenses that is then sent to the budget for the trauma centers.

A cargo ship, abandoned by its crew after being hit by a Houthi missiles on Monday, continues to stay afloat in the Red Sea, leaving in its wake an 18-mile-long oil slick as it slowly takes on water and sinks, CNN reports.

A Belize-flagged, UK-registered, Lebanese-owned bulk carrier, the M/V Rubymar was loaded with 41,000 tons of fertilizer when it was hit by two missiles fired from Yemen.  Anchored in place and slowly sinking, it’s believed to be the first major vessel that had to be abandoned due to damage from a Houthi attack.

You’re not safe in Joe Biden’s America. https://t.co/2UzoHTAQJt

— House Judiciary GOP (@JudiciaryGOP) February 24, 2024

Make no bones about it:  this is disgusting.  The Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee plummet into the depths of racism and fear-mongering by exploiting the tragic death of a Georgia student to paint as broad a brush as they can to denigrate migrants.  This is today’s GOP:  No policies, all fear.

Making the expected claims that he expects the decision to be overturned (it won’t be), and the amount of the damages are excessive (they’re not for a multiple-time offender), court-designated rapist Donald Trump wants his now $83.3 million damage award payment to writer E. Jean Carroll to be delayed until the outcome of his appeals, instead of having to put up a bond.  Y’know, because Don’s totally good for the money and it’s just going to be returned to him by a higher court anyway, right?  So, c’mon, judge, let him keep the millions… to use in his other legal issues.

In the filing by (somehow still) Trump attorney Alina Habba, Trump makes the first ploy to delay payment, asking that the 30-day clock to give payment be delayed from the February 8th date of the judgment to “no later than March 7, 2024,” when they believe their appeals process will ultimately lower the judgment to just $22 million.

A New York jury on Friday found the NRA’s CEO and executive vice president Wayne LaPierre illegally diverted millions of dollars from the non-profit to his own personal use and enrichment, NBC News reports.

In a case brought by New York Attorney General Letitia James in 2020, prosecutors showed LaPierre, corporate secretary and general counsel  John Frazer, and the group’s former treasurer and CFO Wilson “Woody” Phillips used the NRA accounts as their personal slush fund, paying for things like foreign travel, clothes for LaPierre and his wife, and private jet flights.  The jury also found that the NRA itself was negligent for failing to properly oversee its corporate functions.

The jury ordered LaPierre to repay $4.4 million, finding that he had already returned $1 million of the amount he illegally obtained.  Phillips will have to repay $2 million.  Frazer was not found financially responsible and was permitted to keep his position within the organization.

Even Neil Cavuto couldn’t take it.  Or maybe it was Fox’s legal department intervening.  For whatever cause, Cavuto interrupts Donald Trump’s campaign speech in South Carolina to declare, “Even though the former president is entitled to his opinion, he is not entitled to his own set of facts:  The market has indeed been going up, having nothing to do with him and everything to do with this aggressive cut in interest rates–or this hiking in interest rates that stabilized inflation and of course the whole artificial intelligence phenomenon that benefitted a host of companies that are making money hand over fist.”  Cavuto then dismantles a number of Trump’s talking points about the economy.  We assume this is the minimum amount of journalism $787.5 million merits.

🚨 BALLOON ALERT! 🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL! 🚨 CBS News reports ANOTHER BALLOON has been spotted floating at a high altitude over Colorado! HOLY SHIT! This comes just over a year after millions of Americans were killed threatened by the invasion of a Chinese Communist SPY BALLOON! FUCK! This never would’ve happened if Trump were president even though it did and WHAT IF THIS BALLOON is from WUHAN?!?! Biden won’t protect Americans from this horrible inva-

That’s the total amount due from Donald Trump in the civil lawsuit brought against him, his sons, his company and others for the financial fraud perpetrated by them, according to court filings from the clerk of New York Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron.  The amount includes the principal and interest due for fudging the books on numerous loans and other documentation, and it represents the ill-gotten gains of the Trump clan.

Trump now has 30 days to file an appeal, which would require him to put up 120% of that amount to ensure he will pay if/when he loses the appeal.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan, ever the one comfortable around male-on-male sexual abusers, told CPAC chief Matt Schlapp on Friday that maybe their “Biden bribery witness” Alex Smirnov did lie but something something double standard whatever. In related news, Smirnov is almost certainly not getting out of jail before trial as on Friday the Nevada federal magistrate who had originally let him out after his arrest last week ruled he no longer has jurisdiction over the case, ceding it to the California federal judge who ordered Smirnov back into custody.

“Under my leadership, the Republican Party will always support the creation of strong, thriving, healthy American families. We want to make it easier for mothers and fathers to have babies, not harder! That includes supporting the availability of fertility treatments like IVF in every State in America. Like the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of Americans, including the VAST MAJORITY of Republicans, Conservatives, Christians, and Pro-Life Americans, I strongly support the availability of IVF for couples who are trying to have a precious baby. Today, I am calling on the Alabama Legislature to act quickly to find an immediate solution to preserve the availability of IVF in Alabama”

“The Republican Party should always be on the side of the Miracle of Life – and the side of Mothers, Fathers, and their Beautiful Babies. IVF is an important part of that, and our Great Republican Party will always be with you, in your quest, for the ULTIMATE JOY IN LIFE!” writes fat former President Trump on Truth Social, plainly starting to panic over the heat brought by the Biden Administration.

Of course the twice-impeached loser did not address his regime-in-waiting’s plans to outlaw IVF, surrogacy, birth control, and of course abortion too, so this is just a political patch job.