Because fat former President Trump ruined our joke about positive economic news being a result of his poll numbers (his dumb fucking cokehead son even claimed China’s stock market taking a beating on Tuesday was a direct response to Trump’s win in Iowa), we just have to play this straight:

The University of Michigan’s US consumer sentiment index hit 78.8 this month, its highest mark since July 2021 and at 9.1 percent its biggest gain since 2005, beating a Bloomberg forecast of just 70.0 in yet another sign that Trump is going further ramp up taking preemptive credit for good news.

“Consumers exhibited stronger views on multiple facets of the economy, suggesting greater confidence of a soft landing,” University of Michigan economics egghead Joanne Hsu said in a statement, adding “Improvements in inflation expectations have been supported by perceptions of easing price pressures in buying conditions for both durable goods and vehicles.”

A new Marist College survey of New Hampshire adults finds Nimrata “Nikki” Haley the only Republican primary candidate leading President Joe Biden in a general election matchup in the state, with Haley up 47 to 44 percent while Biden leads fat syphilis sufferer former President Trump 52 to 45 percent and heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis 51 to 42 percent.

Marist didn’t publish any numbers for the actual GOP primary happening on Tuesday, it’s not clear if they’re saving that for a later release or if they just didn’t ask it. Either way the topline finding is obviously something that factors in to the current race as Haley can now tout it as part of her “electability” pitch to Republican primary voters in the Granite State and elsewhere.

The Chinese Athletics Association last week decreed that the marathoner known only as “Uncle Chen” had been warned to not chainsmoke cigarettes during his 3:33 finish in the January 7th Xiamen Marathon, per their new code of conduct, but because he didn’t listen they had no choice but to disqualify the 52 year-old’s impressive time afterward, Canadian Running reports.

New rules adopted last year specifically prohibiting “uncivilized behavior from runners such as open defecation, smoking, or trampling on flower beds or green spaces that affect the race and the safety of other runners will result in disqualification” buried Chen’s well-known habit in between other stuff may or may not have been prompted by other participants’ behavior during prior races.

The pro-Biden “Future Forward” PAC tells the Messenger they raised $208 million last year, a freaking enormous sum for just one group focused on reelecting the 46th president and, coupled with Joe’s $97 million campaign haul last quarter – likely to put him at an advantage over fat former President Trump’s legal defense fund/comeback attempt, who haven’t released numbers yet.

“Whether it’s ensuring that Americans know about President Biden’s work to lower costs or making clear the threat Donald Trump is to our country, Future Forward is putting together an unprecedented effort to get the jobs done,” said the PAC’s chief Chauncey McLean in a statement.

Milford Regional Medical Center warns it may deny care to those using 'unwelcome words' about race, gender https://t.co/CpdN7EdO8e

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 19, 2024

“When we started today’s interview of my client Mr Kevin Morris, I specifically pointed out the practice of Republicans in making partial leaks of witness’ statements rather than releasing the actual transcript so the public would know the truth and not your often inaccurate spin and misstatements. I specifically asked that this not to be done with Mr Morris’ transcript and, if such were done, that the entire transcript be released. Your staff as well as the staff of other committees responded that Mr Morris would be treated fairly. And, then you did not treat Mr Morris fairly and engaged in your standard practice of partially and inaccurately leaking a witness’s statements. Not two hours after we left Mr Morris’ transcribed interview, you issued a press statement with cherry‐picked, out of context and totally misleading descriptions of what Mr Morris said.”

“So much for the promise of your staff that Mr Morris would be treated fairly. So, as I said at the interview, I demand you now release the entire transcript of Mr Morris’ interview. Assuming it was your plan from the start not to do so and the assurances I was given were false, here is some of the statements you made that were false, inaccurate, and misleading…” wrote Bryan Sullivan, attorney for Hunter’s buddy Kevin Morris, in a Thursday letter to House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer.

We skipped the actual specifics of Comer’s mendacity as it’s not like they really matter. What’s funnier is that it’s a pretty safe bet the top paragraphs that we lifted were pre-written before Morris even flew to DC, with Sullivan just filing in the details hours after the deposition.

“Governor Chris Sununu, the now failing Governor of New Hampshire, where I am beating his endorsed candidate, Nimbra, by big numbers, and DeSanctimonious by even bigger numbers, should spend more time keeping Democrats from voting in the Republican Primary – How ridiculous is that? Anyway, it doesn’t matter, because Nimbra doesn’t have what it takes. She’s weak on China, Russia, Borders, and Crime, but never saw a war she didn’t like. I defeated ISIS, Rebuilt our Military, and brought our soldiers back home. I hope Sununu’s endorsement of Nimbra has more strength than Kim Reynolds’ Iowa endorsement of DeSanctus! How did that work out?” writes fat former President Trump on Truth Social, apparently debuting “Nimbra” as a nickname for Nikki Haley.

In an earlier post, the twice-impeached syphilitic rapist praised deranged extremist libertarian Argentinian President Javier Milei, writing “The new President of Argentina, Javier Milel, who truly loves his country, is working hard and, according to many in the ‘know,’ MAKING GREAT PROGRESS! He inherited a ‘total mess,’ but he is MAGA (MAKE ARGENTINA GREAT AGAIN!), working very hard and, against long odds, will succeed. I look forward to helping him in the future!”

On Thursday Yale Review editor James Surowiecki wrote “Javier Milei is ardently pro-free trade and anti-tariff, pro-open-borders. His politics are antithetical to the economic nationalism of someone like Trump. But because Milei tweaks the libs, right-wing populists just skip past all that.”

There’s also that Milei has proposed legalizing the sale of children, a big no-no with the Q crowd.

White House statement: “Today, my Administration approved debt cancellation for another 74,000 student loan borrowers across the country, bringing the total number of people who have gotten their debt cancelled under my Administration to over 3.7 million Americans through various actions.”

“Of the 74,000 borrowers approved for relief today, nearly 44,000 of them are teachers, nurses, firefighters and other individuals who earned forgiveness after 10 years of public service, and close to 30,000 of them are people who have been in repayment for at least 20 years but never got the relief they earned through income-driven repayment plans. My Administration is able to deliver relief to these borrowers – and millions more – because of fixes we made to broken student loan programs that were preventing borrowers from getting relief they were entitled to under the law.”

A Republican Oklahoma state senator this week introduced a bill mandating that journalists complete a licensing process requiring criminal background checks on every member of the news media, licensing through the Oklahoma Corporation Commission, the completion of a “propaganda free” training course via the Oklahoma Department of Education, a $1 million liability insurance policy, and quarterly drug tests, the Oklahoman reports on some Fourth Reich bullshit in the Sooner State.

“He’s asking journalists to undergo more scrutiny than he did. The bill is an egregious violation of the First Amendment. I wonder if it’s a knee-jerk response on his part, because there are journalists in Oklahoma, myself included, who think the good senator may be a couple of McNuggets short of a Happy Meal,” Johnston County Sentinel editor John Small said when asked to comment on state Senator Nathan Dahm’s bill, titled the “Common Sense Freedom of Press Control Act.”

While it’s likely the bill is just some MAGA assclown jerking off rather than anything that’ll ever be taken up let alone passed given the legal beating it would face, Dem state Representative Mickey Dollens isn’t so sure. “I would have said this bill has no chance of advancing, but based on extremist legislation passed in recent years, I wouldn’t put it past them,” Dollens said, calling it “yet another example of how radicalized GOP lawmakers in Oklahoma have transformed the Republican Party.”

In a related example of that transformation, the Oklahoman also reports that Republican state House member Justin Humphrey this week introduced a bill banning “students who purport to be an imaginary animal or animal species, or who engage in anthropomorphic behavior commonly referred to as furries,” from public schools, requiring their parent or guardian to come pick them up if they show up in a furry costume. If the parent/guardian is unavailable then “animal control services shall be contacted to remove the student.” Oklahoma’s legislative session begins February 5th.

With a clearer view of the outcome a few days later, cutting through the clutter and the vacate claims of victory–not to mention the thuds of Vivek and Asa–there is only one clear conclusion that can be made from the Iowa caucus:  This outcome is a harbinger of doom for the GOP in general and for Trump in particular.

I’m not saying this as some blogger on a Soros-funded far-left underground-popular website.  I mean, we’re not that far left, to be honest.  I’m saying this because I’ve finally had a chance to dig into some of entry/exit polling numbers from places like the Washington Post, CNN and other sources. (The Post analysis is most complete, by far, so I gift-linked it.)

By definition, these caucus voters are the most die-hard Republicans in the state.  Braving near-zero temperatures (or wind chill or whatever scale you want to use to say it was fucking cold) to vote in a caucus means you are concerned about your Party’s nominee, particularly if you’re not attending as an advocate for one particular candidate.  These participants were dedicated because it took fortitude to go out.  And we’ve all heard the numbers:  the lowest turnout in nearly a quarter century; Trump only won 51% of the votes; only 15% of Republicans in the state voted.  Yes, all true.  

Donald Trump did win just 51% of the vote running as a defacto incumbent and titular head of the Party.  In a state as conservative, as white, as Christian, as “traditional values” as any state in the nation, only half of the voters of the most die-hard voters supported him.  That is not the sign of you getting a mandate; that’s the sign that they’re getting ready to dump you and haven’t chosen a successor.  “Pie in the sky thinking,” you mutter at your computer.  Nay nay, I say.

Federal prosecutors asked a judge to sentence former White House advisor and Fox network host Peter Navarro to a six-month sentence and fine him $200,000 for his conviction on two counts of contempt of Congress for refusing to honor subpoenas, Kyle Cheney of Politico reports.

“The Committee sought documents and testimony from the Defendant pertinent to a matter of national importance – the circumstances that led to the violent attack on the Capitol on January 6, 2021, and the disruption of the peaceful transfer of power,” prosecutors wrote in the filing. “But the Defendant, like the rioters at the Capitol, put politics, not country, first, and stonewalled” Congress’s investigation. The Defendant chose allegiance to former President Donald Trump over the rule of law even after being apprised that executive privilege would not excuse his default.”

New York Democratic Congressman Jerry Nadler spoke to the FBI recently regarding a recording of Trump political operative and just generally fucking creepy dude Roger Stone who suggested either Nadler or California Democratic Congressman Eric Swalwell had to be killed, the Daily Beast reports.

“It’s time to do it. It’s either Swalwell or Nadler has to die before the election. They need to get the message,” Stone said on the audio, reportedly of a conversation between Stone and former NYPD officer Sal Greco in a Florida restaurant weeks before the 2020 election. “Let’s go find Swalwell and get this over with. I’m just not putting up with this shit anymore.”

“The Roger Stone assassination plot recording may seem like the ravings of a wannabe gangster. It’s not,” Swalwell said on Wednesday. “This is what Trump and his real-life thugs do: They try to intimidate opponents and will always choose violence over voting.”

Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss accused former New York City mayor, GOP presidential candidate and sentient human being Rudy Giuliani of trying to game the bankruptcy system to avoid paying them the $150 million defamation judgment they’re owed, CNN reports.  “If Mr. Giuliani truly wanted to appeal the Freeman Litigation, all he needed to do was not file for chapter 11 protection,” the lawyers for the mother-daughter team said, but instead his filing “is a flawed, impermissible litigation tactic from an actor with a history of engaging the judicial system in bad faith” and “a shield to hold off creditors[.]”

An increase over 2022, Capitol Police investigated more than 8,000 threats against members of Congress, their offices or the Capitol grounds in 2023, an increase of 6% from the previous year, Politico reports.  In 2023, USCP opened 8,008 cases, according to USCP Assistant Chief of Protective and Intelligence Operations Ashan M. Benedict, an increase of 501 from the previous year.  Cases were based on threats made via mail, email, phone or social media, with most of the increase in investigations coming from social media posts because “[p]eople continue to have a false sense of anonymity on social media,” the agency said.

You’d think a guy who complained that the damages determination trial interfered with his mother-in-law’s funeral would be more respectful of each, wouldn’t you?  But Donald John Trump isn’t one to fit the molds, ladies and gentlemen, he’s the one who breaks them… and then blames everyone else for the mess he caused as he rants about how unfair it is to make him clean it up.

So it goes with Trump who, after the third day of hearings to determine how much he’ll pay Carroll for defaming her, Trump went on a 26-post binge in the echo chamber that is Truth Social, highlighting Carroll’s past social media posts, obviously curated to make her appear to be a woman of loose morals, as though that somehow absolves Trump of the harm and threats she endured because of his public defamation.

Alina Habba, the lawyer on Donald Trump’s legal team who is apparently learning on-the-job how to manage a federal lawsuit, took in more than $3.5 million in fees paid by two Trump-affiliated Super PACs, federal filings show.  As Rudy Giuliani loses his apartment and grovels for money while facing a $150 million defamation judgment, Save America PAC paid $3.48 million while the Make America Great Again PAC paid a meager $111,000, according to Newsweek.  Habba is part of the legal team representing Trump in this round of the E. Jean Carroll defamation case, which Trump has already lost, but a jury will determine damages.

The first real road test of Ronna Not-Romney McDaniel’s stupid “Bank Your Vote” initiative in a contested Congressional election is not going so well as Dem elections egghead Tom Bonier reports that the first wave of early mail-votes returned in New York’s 3rd District special election are +22 percent from registered Dem voters. This compares to an early vote that was +13 percent D in 2022 when George Santos won the district, meaning that it’s possible Ronna’s efforts to sell Republicans to just suck it up and vote early and by mail actually might have even kind of backfired.

In related news a new Emerson College survey – the first in this special election – finds Dem Tom Suozzi leading Republican Mazi Pilip 45 to 42 percent among all respondents in the North Sore Long Island district, a lead for the Dem that expands to Suozzi 51 – Pilip 37 among “very likely” voters.

🚨 HUNTER BIDEN DEPOSITION.

CONFIRMED.

FEBRUARY 28.

— House Judiciary GOP (@JudiciaryGOP) January 18, 2024

The House of Representatives on Thursday passed a bill funding the government until March 1st, again averting a shutdown. It was attached as a rider to a new law allowing electronic duck hunting stamps for some reason. The funding/duck stamp bill now heads to President Biden’s desk.