In an excerpt of his upcoming book The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism The Atlantic’s Tim Alberta on Tuesday delivers a harrowing personal account of the July 2019 death of his father – an atheist NYC-area Italian-American who worked in finance before being born again and eventually becoming pastor to a Michigan Evangelical congregation numbering in the thousands – and meeting the increasingly MAGA members of the flock.

There’s not much lending itself to listing off quick anecdotes, as it’s not like a Trump White House insider account preview where we would pick out this or that damning detail. It’s more of a slow burn, with Tim recounting how since his old man’s passing came just weeks after the release his first book, American Carnage: On the Front Lines of the Republican Civil War and the Rise of President Trump, the congregants had been hearing Rush Limbaugh bitching about the book. And yeah, they went there, even as they were supposed to be offering their condolences to Alberta.

Toward the end Alberta recounts the parallel story of his father’s successor, Chris Winans, the congregation’s young-adults minister whom took the lead in early 2018 with Pastor Alberta serving in an emeritus role up until his death. Winans’ first big mistake was citing a Biblical justification for protecting the Earth from climate change. By February 2021 he was “barely hanging on” to the job after that hellish year of COVID, civil unrest, and Stop the Steal, with Alberta describing Winans nervously looking over his shoulder as they met in a bar. Asked what he thought was wrong with Evangelicals these days, Winans said simply “America… Too many of them worship America.”

OAN is effectively broke, so much so that earlier this year anchor Dan Ball started carrying a pistol around the MAGA propaganda network’s San Diego headquarters after a vagrant wandered into the building without being stopped by security – since there is none, the Daily Beast reports.

“It can be kind of scary at the studio on the early morning shift when you are pretty much the only person there,” an employee told the Beast. “Especially on weekends when you are basically alone.”

Owner Robert Herring and his sons have become incredibly cheap bastards since DirecTV dropped OAN from the lineup, giving employees gift cards in lieu of bonuses, usually $15 to $25, but sometimes $0 as at least two formers staffers said they got empty Shell gift cards. One time they gave out Target gift cards despite the network being all in on boycotting the “woke” big box retailer.

Employees were furious when the Herrings still tried to offer Tucker Carlson tens of millions to join the team earlier this year – especially Ball, who thinks of himself as much better at the game than Tucker. “He was sitting in his office with glass walls pacing up and down, he was so mad,” one staffer told the Beast about the “star” anchor’s reaction. “Go print your lies, like you always do… You are just a lying POS propagandist for the left. Oh, and go fuck yourself. Print that,” Ball wrote in an email to the Daily Beast’s “fucking hack” Justin Baragona when reached for comment on the matter.

Just returned from an Iowa stronghold for @realDonaldTrump Person to Person told me they are done with him.

While they long to leave the topic of ‘golden showers’ and return to the discussion of gold standards,The final straw…his lies about @KimReynoldsIA#ChooseWell2024

— Bob Vander Plaats (@bobvanderplaats) November 25, 2023

“The indictment in this case reflects little more than partisan advocacy designed to sabotage President Trump’s leading campaign for the 2024 Presiblah blah blah blah…” And so goes the latest motion from Donald Trump’s lawyers in the DC federal case accusing him of attempting to fraudulently undermine the 2020 election.  Trump’s team baselessly accuses the Special Counsel’s office of trying to “suppress and withhold from President Trump information that supports this defense,” a serious accusation if true. (Spoiler alert:  it’s not.)  Basically, the motion relies on the argument that the Special Counsel works for Joe Biden; Joe Biden wants Donald Trump to lose; therefore, everything the Special Counsel says is a lie because the world is out to get Donald Trump and we’ve intentionally misrepresented a bunch of precedents, and did we mention Joe Biden is trying to jail his political enemies (namely the aforementioned Donald John Trump)?

Seriously, there’s a section in the 37-page filing titled, “Coordination With The Biden Administration,” in which they claim, “Communications regarding these investigations by members, relatives, or associates of the Biden Administration are discoverable because they support President Trump’s defense regarding the politically motivated nature of the prosecution.”

As this intrepid reporter journeyed into the depths of MAGALand by checking Donald Trump’s page on his floundering Troop Slacker Troth Sleeker Truth Social platform to confirm his post about dismantling Obamacare, a chunky green bud popped up on the screen.  (From a company shipping a cannabinoid called Delta-8, a less psychoactive form of THC, the product is perfectly legal, if somewhat deceptively promoted.)  As Republicans complain about private citizen, Donald Trump is literally making money from–to paraphrase George Santos–drug-ish traffickers.

With Donald Trump promising to reignite his effort to revoke “Obamacare”–the popular 2010 Affordable Care Act that slashed the percentage of people in the US without health insurance–President Joe Biden is planning on holding Trump to that campaign promise during election season, the Washington Post reports.

“Forty million people — more than 1 in 10 Americans — have health insurance today because of the Affordable Care Act and Donald Trump just said he would try to rip it away if he returns to power,” Ammar Moussa, a spokesman for Biden’s campaign, said in a statement. “He was one vote away from getting it done when he was president — and we should take him at his word that he’ll try to do it again,” adding, “Donald Trump’s America is one where millions of people lose their health insurance and seniors and families across the country face exorbitant costs just to stay healthy. Those are the stakes next November.”

The continued existence, and popularity, of “Obamacare” has grated on Trump for years.  In the 2016 campaign and into his first months in office, Trump promised multiple times to deliver a health care plan “in two weeks” or another timeframe, but never put a serious program out.  After Republican Arizona Senator John McCain kiboshed the GOP effort to repeal the Affordable Care Act in 2017 with a loud thumbs-down, Trump said there was no need to release his plan.  He then promised again, in 2020 during his reelection campaign, to produce a health care plan; he never released one.

“They said Trump was booed.  Do you hear booing?” Fox dumbass Jesse Watters inquires.  “I don’t know if I heard much booing.”  Oh, yeah, Jesse, we heard a lot of booing when Donald Trump attended the Clemson-South Carolina football game.  There was much booing, and a number of “Fuck you”-s, too.

President Biden so screwed with young voters, Black voters, white voters, Latino voters, Jewish voters, Chinese-American voters, Mongolian-American voters, Catholics, Scientologists, Muslims, furries, bottoms, dominants, bears, cubs, cougars, studs, Chads, Staceys, and other demographics crucial to his win in the 2020 election who may not show up next time, the New York Times reports.

“Could President Joe Biden and Donald Trump really be locked in a close race among young voters – a group Democrats typically carry by double digits – as the recent Times/Siena polls suggest? To many of our readers and others, it’s a little hard to believe – so hard to believe that it seems to them the polls are flat-out wrong,” writes polls egghead Nate Cohen before telling readers why he’s right.

For those of us no longer apprehensive but now actually bored with this doomerism the reality is that Biden’s all-but-certain opponent lost the last presidential election as did nearly every single one of his “complete and total” endorsed candidates in the last midterm, will very likely have been convicted of multiple felonies by next November, and wants to put people in camps, so maybe Cohn and his buddies at the Times should dial back on this cunty narrative-building about the incumbent’s age and economy “vulnerabilities” and start introducing some of the other guy’s “vulnerabilities.”

That’d be one way to un-jump the shark here for the paper that reported “Republicans who have disputed the legitimacy of the 2020 presidential election – and who could affect the outcome of the next one – are on a path toward winning decisive control over how elections are run in several battleground states,” back in August 2022. Just a reminder for those keeping score at home.

A recount in the Caddo Parish, Louisiana sheriff’s runoff election wrapped up Monday, finding three additional ballots cast for each candidate thus affirming Dem candidate Henry Whitehorn’s 21,621 to 21,620 vote, 00.2 percent win over Republican John Nickelson, the Shreveport Times reports.

Let me get this straight.

The Republican majority controlled Congress has ousted a Republican Speaker and is now on the verge of expelling a not yet convicted Republican member, but we can’t even impeach Mayorkas or Biden or stop the weaponized DOJ against Trump and all their…

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) November 27, 2023

This embed stupidly cuts her off like five more characters than the ellipses. “We can’t even impeach Mayorkas or Biden or stop the weaponized DOJ against Trump and all their political enemies?” is what she wrote in the tweet. Either way it was clear enough she’s bitching about the supposedly imminent vote to finally send George Santos packing as being more of a waste of time than the wastes of time that are important to her. Love the nod to “due process” for Santos as if she hasn’t filed God knows how many fucking impeachment articles against Biden and Mayorkas with the intent of them being rubber stamped and sent to the Senate for trial without a formal inquiry.

Winter Haven, Florida pest control worker and registered Republican voter Tyler Mountain was arrested twice last week for for exposing his ding-dong to an elderly female client of his (now-former) employer Massey Services while claiming his zipper broke, WFLA reports.

The first incident for which Mountain was charged on November 22nd and then fired happened on October 26 in Lake Wales when a 76 year old woman reported that the 27 year-old MAGA ginger had asked to use her bathroom and then complained that his zipper was broken and that he needed her help. After learning that another customer had recently complained about Mountain the Polk County Sheriff’s Office for flopping his weenie out they then arrested him again on November 25th.

“This man used his work position to gain access to the homes of these women, and then sexually exposed himself,” Sheriff Grady Judd said. “This behavior is disgusting and predatory.” Mountain is the second Florida man arrested this year for exposing his winkie to women while claiming he had a zipper mishap in the restroom to merit coverage on National Zero. To our knowledge no similar incidents have been reported in any of the 49 other states since January 1 of this year. Or any year.

DC Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan on Monday tossed fat former President Trump’s moronic and overly broad request to subpoena for testimony from the National Archivist, former House January 6th Select Committee Chairman Bennie Thompson, and insurrectionist MAGA Congressman Barry Loudermilk, and supposedly exculpatory “missing” documents that Team Orange couldn’t even specify what they were, just that the Committee had somehow hidden them.

“Rule 17(c) subpoenas are not appropriate where the moving party seeks materials ‘procurable reasonably in advance of trial by exercise of due diligence,’ or operate ‘as a general ‘fishing expedition.’ ‘Courts must be careful that rule 17(c) is not turned into a broad discovery device, thereby undercutting the strict limitation of discovery in criminal cases…'” Chutkan wrote, citing case law rather than just telling the loser straight up that she knew he’s playing games.

Leadership of violent fundamentalist terror group Hamas on Saturday took a cue from the ideologically and operationally similar administration of disgraced former President Trump by separating a mother and daughter in their custody, CNN reports. Israeli man Yair Rotem said his 13 year-old niece Hila Rotem was released to the Red Cross on Saturday without Yair’s sister Raaya, who he believes is still alive inside Gaza. “Hila told me, ‘Look at my hair, my mother cut it when we were in captivity.’ So they were together,” Yair said. IDF officials said the separation violates the terms of the deal, but words just that and honoring them is for losers and suckers.

In very related news CNN also reports the Red Cross on Monday announced they had received another group of 11 hostages from Gaza and are currently en route back to Israel.

A pack of vicious and likely stray dogs earlier this month quite literally caught at least five cars unguarded on the lot of a Houston, Texas dealership over the course of several nights earlier this month, ripping the absolute shit out of them by biting into the fenders and tires, KRTK reports.

G Motors sales manager Gaby Fakhoury thinks the dogs might’ve been chasing a cat through the lot when they found their way under the used car dealership’s gate but returned at least twice after getting their first taste of havoc. Fakhoury claims there was between $100,000 and $350,000 in damage done but surveillance video (which is freaking hysterical if you can sit through the news anchors in their studio) shows the dogs trashing a Dodge Charger, a Hyundai, and a Honda – all of them older models and not even close to totaled by the pack. So maybe the dogs got those cars and the “dogs” of insurance fraud bit the 2021 Jeep Gladiator “Apocalypse” or the 2022 Range Rover.

🚨HEARING ADVISORY: @mtaibbi, @shellenberger, @rupasubramanya.

Thursday. 10:00 a.m. ET. pic.twitter.com/UVa9HvRnTm

— Weaponization Committee (@Weaponization) November 27, 2023

A year ago Jim Jordan was on the road to MAGA greatness: Republicans had just won a (slim) majority, guaranteeing him the House Judiciary Committee gavel stripped from him four years earlier. Elon Musk was exposing all the “corruption” at Twitter that happened before he bought the platform, giving Jim a gold mine of documents to cherry-pick from to claim that the FBI interfered in the 2020 election. Most importantly of all, then House Speaker-“designate” Kevin McCarthy had written Jordan essentially a blank check to pursue endless politicized investigations.

Lol… Do we need to recap what happened since then? The last hearing Jordan had was in fucking July and he had goddamned Robert F Kennedy Jr testify about “censorship.” And, lest we haven’t mocked Jordan and other Republicans for just rehashing the same old shit over and over and over again, he is literally bringing back the same two assholes Matt Taibbi and Michael Shellenberger (plus some third right wing chode) to talk about the goddamned stupid Twitter files again.

Remember this is the guy the MAGA fanbase threatened the lives of Republicans who voted against him for Speaker. This is the type of impotence and ineffectiveness they wanted in leadership, someone who just serves them the same old garbage without even fucking microwaving it for them.

“Fire[name of asshole people want fired].com” is, by its very nature, an extremely difficult term for Google to parse and return usable search results. What we were able to find on the distinct flavor of URL tracked closely with our anecdotal awareness of a tradition time-honored within the college football world where aggrieved fanbases – beginning with FireRonZook.com for the then-Florida coach back in 2002 – torment the leaders of underperforming programs far and wide.

What you might at first think would be similarly common in the political world is far less prevalent, probably owing to the fact that few figures worth such efforts can be unilaterally fired the same way an NCAA coach can. Of course it’s far from unheard of as a slogan – for example now-two-time Democratic Ohio 4th District challenger Jeff Sites asks for donations to help him fire Jim Jordan all the time – his web address game is lacking as FireJimJordan.com is parked but there’s no site. Same story with FireJoeBiden.com, FireChuckSchumer.com, FireRickScott.com, so on and so forth. The URL FireTedCruz.com redirects to LoseCruz.com, the PAC set up to defeat the weasel-faced Canadian immigrant – the only one functioning in any capacity out of the dozen or so we checked.

For those wondering if there was any crossover, FireTommyTuberville.com, was never a site and it’s available for sale. There was a FireNancyPelosi.com, which is dead now but was run by the “Fired Up PAC” until last year before she retired. It does work better when the target is the House Speaker or Senate Majority leader because they can be “fired” from that position by losing the majority.

The party chairmanship is kind of a blend of college coach and Speaker/majority leader situation where the fans could conceivably apply enough pressure to get them tossed, which is why nihilistic yuppie asshole Vivek Ramaswamy’s new site FireRonna.com is a good idea in theory.

The Qatari government on Monday announced that the now four-day ceasefire between Israel will be extended by another two days for more prisoner-hostage exchanges, Huffington Post’s Yashar Ali reports on what sure sounds like another major diplomatic win for the Biden Administration.

“The State of Qatar announces, as part of the ongoing mediation, an agreement has been reached to extend the humanitarian truce for an additional two days in the Gaza Strip,” said the Qataris.

Burlington, Vermont far-left or far-right terrorist Jason Eaton will be arraigned Monday following his arrest on charges stemming from the Saturday night shooting attack on three Palestinian college students wearing traditional scarves, seriously wounding one of them.

Texas Gov Greg Abbott on Monday morning will be jumping out of a plane over San Marcos alongside 106 year-old retiree Al Blaschke, the Texas Tribune’s Patrick Svitek reports.

Blaschke appears to be something of a pro at skydiving, having jumped at least twice over the last several years, starting on his 100th birthday in 2017. So he probably knows what he’s doing.

Does Abbott? It’s one thing to be 106 and able-bodied enough to jump out of a plane but… Well, we’ve gotten in trouble before for mocking Abbott’s disability even if strictly in juxtaposition with his reputation as an especially cruel and megalomaniacal leader of the Lone Star state. So let’s just say it would be tragic if whichever pro skydiver to whom Abbott will be strapped plummeted to his death too after fucking something up whilst packing their parachutes. We’d be sad to hear about that.

“Whenever I sarcastically insert the name Obama for Biden as an indication that others may actually be having a very big influence in running our Country, Ron DeSanctimonious and his failing campaign apparatus, together with the Democrat’s Radical Left ‘Disinformation Machine,’ go wild saying that ‘Trump doesn’t know the name of our President, (CROOKED!) Joe Biden. He must be cognitively impaired.’ No, I know both names very well, never mix them up, and know that they are destroying our Country. Also, and as reported, I just took a cognitive test as part of my Physical Exam, and ACED it. Also ACED (a perfect score!) one taken while in the White House.”

“Biden should take one so we can determine why he wants Open Borders, No Energy Independence, A Woke Military, High Inflation, No Voter ID, Men playing In Women’s Sports, Only Electric Cars & Trucks, A Weaponized DOJ/FBI, and so many other CRAZY things!!!” writes disgraced former President Trump in a Monday morning Truth Social rant apropos of stupid shit he said weeks ago.

Trump’s only 15 days late in incorporating an excuse for his mixing up of Obama and Biden that was hastily made up by Fox and Friends host Brian Kilmeade during a November 12th appearance on Fox News media guy Howard Kurtz’s Sunday show. “[Trump] believes Obama is pulling the strings,” said Kilmeade to Kurtz the day after Donald had (again) confused the two Democratic presidents.

Because Kilmeade didn’t try to explain any of the other dumb shit Trump has said recently, such as saying he beat Obama in 2016 and warning that Biden could start World War II, coupled with that Donald only uses the “sarcasm” line when he knows he looked like a complete idiot, we’re just going to go ahead and deem this post to be transparent panic on the fat former president’s part.

Also probably not a coincidence that Trump posted this rant just over a half hour after batshit idiot Maria Bartiromo asked some MAGA Congressman “So who is running the show here? Does [Biden] know what’s going on or is he being directed by President Obama?” during an interview that Trump was watching, prompting him to assert that Obama is somehow pulling Biden’s strings.