Evil terrorist group – or heroic freedom fighter movement if you ask far left assholes – Hamas on Saturday gave two suspected collaborators the Mike Pence treatment by shooting them and hanging their Muslim-in-name-only (“MINO”) corpses from a telephone pole for selling out to the globalist Israeli Deep State, the Messenger reports on some peaceful, patriotic protesting.

• This Friday of all Fridays doesn’t feel like a Friday.
• There is one reason and one reason alone Donald Trump isn’t pushing for a settlement in New York’s civil case like he did with every other such case he’s been involved within the last 50 years:  he cannot afford to pay the expected fines, so he’s dragging it out.  He does not want it understood that he has no cash.  
• If you went to a Trump rally and asked people if killing turkeys causes winter, I’d put the over/under at 42% who would agree.
• The $90 turkey thing was stupid, but then Fox scurrying around to two different organic grocery stores–in exceptionally wealthy neighborhoods outside New York and Los Angeles–to find 28-pound free-range, non-GMO turkeys with gold beaks and white-meat legs just to find birds for sale over $80 was simply insulting.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CXLVIII”

There’s not a lot fresh that can be written about Lee Harvey Oswald. He was a weirdo, a loner, an idiot kicked out of the Marines for firing indiscriminately into a jungle in the Philippines when he was supposed to be guarding a base, a communist who went through all sorts of bureaucratic bullshit to defect to the Soviet Union only to realize communism sucks and move back home to the US.

Pretty much every news site on Wednesday the internet marked the 60th anniversary of Oswald showing up to work at the Texas School Book Depository on Elm Street in Downtown Dallas and probably fired three shots killing President John F Kennedy, something we neglected to cover due to various circumstances, one of which again was that we weren’t really sure what we could’ve written that was particularly original. Especially when the legacy outlets like the New York Times, NBC, CBS, etc had their own archival coverage to draw from to the commemorate the occasion.

It was one of the most significant moments in American history, probably second only to World War II in the 20th century, changing the course of future events in ways few can contemplate. The assassination of John F Kennedy would absolutely still have been the subject of so much coverage for the last six decades whether or not Oswald was himself shot dead two days later.

Derek Chauvin, the Minneapolis police officer convicted of murder in the death of George Floyd which started the Black Lives Matter movement in 2020, has reportedly been stabbed in prison by a fellow inmate, the Associated Press reports.

The Bureau of Prison reported that a person was stabbed and that “life-saving measures” were taken on the victim, implying that Chauvin was seriously wounded in the attack.  Chauvin is imprisoned in the federal prison in Tuscon, Arizona.

Dear readers, I would normally transcribe a video like this for you because I know many of you either cannot or choose not to subject yourself to the whiny diatribes of conservatives.  But I implore you, please listen to this with the volume up.  A summary:  it starts with a rehashing of Alexandria Ocascio-Cortez using a gas stove after, Charlie Hurt claims, she tried to get them banned–a contrived controversy Fox peddled in January.  Then Hurt goes on one of the smarmiest, whiniest, factless, self-pitying, self-victimizing drones oh-so-enjoyable-for-his-overacting-and-fake-angst that, yes, does include the words, “They hate pies.”  Enjoy, because it is delectable like a fine Limburger.

President Joe Biden declared a state of emergency for the US Virgin Islands after elevated levels of lead, copper and other dangerous contaminants were found in tested samples taken from St. Croix in October, Time reports.  In collaboration with the University of the Virgin Islands, the EPA collected more than 100 water samples; about 37% showed elevated levels of lead and copper, with some showing levels of copper so high it required federal intervention.

While the administration acts to protect the population by bringing in drinking water supplies and FEMA mobilizes other resources, local authorities have told residents in impacted communities not to drink their tap water, but it is safe to use to shower and bathe.  Officials are likely to re-run the testing after experts in civil engineering and public health questioned the collection method used to get the samples, saying that the pattern and spike of some samples indicate the samples were taken through industrial or civil valves that would increase heavy metal contamination in samples, not at consumer faucets.

Thanks to Scott MacFarlane of CBS News, we learn that the J6 Choir, whose rendition of the National Anthem sung with Donald Trump Neil Diamond-ing it through the track like your grandfather at karaoke night was, people tell me, the biggest-selling single of all time, believe me, is going to be short a member as Dominic Box will change his plea during a December 1st court hearing.

Charged last December, Box has had a series of run-ins with the law in his native (checks notes) Florida including an August DUI arrest.  He then skipped a hearing in federal court later in the month to determine if his bail should be revoked; his lawyer explained that he could not attend that hearing because he had been in jail in Jacksonville after deputies found him passed out in his car in the parking lot of a barbeque restaurant.  So maybe just taking a plea on the federal charge of trying to undermine the government was just the way of taking something off his plate.

A review of internal documents by the New York Times shows that the company previously known as Twitter–purchased by Elon Musk just over a year ago when he killed one of the most recognizable brands on the internet–could lose as much as $75 million in advertising revenue in the final quarter 2023, largely due to major advertisers abandoning the platform because of its catering to hate groups and Musk’s endorsements of white nationalist and neo-Nazi posts.

Twitter (intentionally dead-named) reported $1.57 billion in the fourth quarter of 2022, before Musk took over the company in a $44 billion purchase.  The documents reviewed by the Times shows ad contract placements by companies like Airbnb, Amazon, Coca-Cola and Microsoft being suspended, with an initial estimate showing a loss of $11 million, but a follow-up report developed after Musk’s November 15th report endorsing a neo-Nazi view, more than 100 brands puts holds on their advertising agreements.  In reaction to that, internal documents show Twitter executives calculating the losses causes by Musk would reach $75 million in the fourth quarter, traditionally one of the heavy revenue generating periods for the company.

Ah, finally, a good, old-fashioned corrupt Republican story.  Not a sexual assault, insurrection, or clown-show story, but one that’s based at the core of Republican beliefs:  greed.  And I have former Republican California Assemblyman William Brough to thank for that.

You see, Brough just had a $47,000 fine assessed by an independent state public integrity board for misusing campaign funds more than doubled for failure to pay, as the Los Angeles Times reports.  Having left politics in 2020, Brough’s $17,000 use of campaign funds to buy himself a custom cigar humidor, family vacations and the latest in Orange County fashions will cost him six-figures… all while his campaign finance leader repeatedly warned him to stop his excessive spending:  “I need all of your receipts ASAP—you’ve gone mad with the [credit] card use, and I have one silly receipt for every ten expenses,” his campaign treasurer emailed him in 2018.

Tucked at the end of an otherwise predictable statement celebrating the first release of hostages in the Israel-Hamas war, President Joe Biden drops a bit of a bombshell:  as he admits is unproven at the moment, but he believes Hamas attacked Israel now because the Biden Administration has been working with Saudi Arabia and other Arab nations explicitly to recognize Israel’s right to exist.

The public acknowledgment that the United States is having such conversations with Saudi Arabia is far more than previous administrations have publicly commented on discussions regarding the foreign policy of two traditional Middle Eastern rivals, and it’s more than having two Arab existing partners of Israel normalize relations with the country.

The world’s largest iceberg, measuring roughly 1,500 square miles and weighing one trillion metric tons, has broken free from the site where it had been grounded for more than three decades and is now rapidly headed toward the Southern Ocean thanks to high winds and strong ocean currents, Reuters reports.

Created in 1986 after splitting from West Antarctica’s Filchner-Ronne Ice Shelf, the berg, which scientists believe regained buoyancy after significant melting, seems to be headed toward a current of ocean water known as “iceberg alley” where it will move north.

Known as A23, the iceberg could possibly re-ground itself near South Georgia Island, which would block access to the island for the myriad aquatic life like penguins, seals and seabirds that migrate to the island to forage and mate.

One of the women who accused then-Democratic New York Governor Andrew Cuomo of sexual harassment and other charges in 2021–leading to Cuomo resigning from office and ultimately getting charged with a misdemeanor–has filed a lawsuit against him under New York’s Adult Survivors Act, a law signed by Cuomo’s successor in May 2022.  The lawsuit seeks damages against both Cuomo personally and the State of New York as her employer.

According to the New York Daily News, Brittany Commisso’s three-page complaint says Cuomo’s inappropriate behavior ran from inappropriate remarks about her appearance to fondling her breasts.  “All of (this) was objectively unreasonable and abusive and reasonably perceived by plaintiff as being abusive,” the court filing charged. “She was required to suffer to maintain employment and avoid adverse changes in the condition and terms of employment, which in fact she later suffered in retaliation for rejecting and reporting the same.”  (Normally, National Zero would not report on the name of a sexual assault accuser, but Commisso not only used her name in the complaint, but she was also identified and interviewed by CBS News when the story broke in 2021.)

Minnesota Democratic Congressman Dean Phillips, who announced a campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination against incumbent President Joe Biden, the prohibitive favorite, announced that he will not seek re-election to his Congressional seat.  His seat, the Minnesota 3rd, is rated D+8 by Cook Political.

“The fact is, I intend to be running for president well beyond that,” Phillips said in an interview with the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, adding that he thinks “it would be irresponsible to continue to string both my constituents along and the other candidates who both have entered the race and who might be interested in entering the race.”

Unsurprisingly undermining a popular GOP talking point, the latest data from the US Energy Information Administration, a Department of Energy agency tasked with independently calculating US energy usage and production, shows that the nation will surpass its all-time domestic oil production for the second consecutive month.

Agency reports show the US producing 13,200,000 barrels of oil weekly since October 6th, the functional maximum of the national petroleum production industry and the most its ever produced.  If, as expected, the pattern holds through the last days of the month, that means the United States will produce the most fossil fuel in November than in any month of its history.  Or, as Republicans claim, Joe Biden is throttling the US energy sector!

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s team took a little time on Thanksgiving Day to check out Manhattan Judge Arthur Engoron’s brief to the New York State Appellate division which cited an extremely high volume of violent and antisemitic MAGA terrorist threats to his clerk after the higher court stayed the gag order on disgraced former President Trump in his state civil fraud case there. Figuring that it might help with their own similar situation stay on the gag order that had been imposed by Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan, they passed it along to the DC Court of Appeals with just a cover letter attached writing that because the appeals panel “inquired at oral argument about evidence of ongoing threats and harassment” they’ll submit Engoron’s appeal as “supplemental authority.” Team Trump promptly freaked the fuck out in a Friday response, writing:

“The prosecution’s letter cites a submission, in a completely separate case, to the New York Appellate Division containing ‘new’ information that dates to October 3, 2023, two weeks before the Gag Order in this case was entered on October 17. The letter is an impermissible attempt to supplement the record on appeal with irrelevant information that could have been, but was not, submitted to the district court below. To date, the prosecution has never submitted any evidence of alleged ‘threats’ or ‘harassment’ to any prosecutor, court staffer, or potential witness in this case.”

Sure, it sounds like it should come from Florida, but in Australia, a television pesonality died after the helicopter he lowered himself from to harvest eggs from the nests of crocodiles ran out of fuel mid-flight and crashed, according to an official report of the 2022 accident, per CBS News.

Why didn’t the helicopter have enough fuel?  Investigators believe the pilot of the copter, who was unnamed, suffered from “fatigue, depression and inattention” brought on by cocaine use in the days before the accident, leading to him failing to refuel the aircraft or notice lowering fuel levels.

The crash in the Outback territory killed “Outback Wrangler” wildlife television series personality Chris Wilson, who was hanging 100 below the helicopter as it fell and sustained fatal injuries after the pilot released the cable at what he thought was a survivable drop as the aircraft lost altitude.  The pilot himself suffered severe injuries in the crash but survived.  Three people including the pilot have been charged.

A Hazelwood, Missouri Cabela’s location gave away gift cards with values ranging from $5 to $500 to the first 250 customers lined up outside before the hunting and outdoor retail chain’s Black Friday blowout sale kicked off 5:00 AM, KDSK reports on a giveaway whose scope feels like it would’ve been much bigger if Trump was still in office during the 2023 Christmas shopping season.

Now maybe it is comparable to Cabela’s 2019 Black Friday gift card giveaway promotion. We could look into that but it would probably require a lot of time and effort poring through old Facebook posts and archived pages from their website. More importantly, such research could wind up having the opposite effect of the vibe we’re trying to present here and that this Black Friday’s Cabela’s door prize is unambiguously more generous in 2023. Then again, we could just skip all that and simply double the proposition: It feels like the first 500 customers would have gotten free gift cards ranging in value from $10 to $1,000 if Trump had won a second term in the 2020 election.

When in doubt – combined with journalistic sloth – go with the completely unfalsifiable point of comparison. Who wants to be bored with details when all we’re trying to do is tell Red State hunting and fishing enthusiasts with disposable income they’re getting screwed on Black Friday deals because Crooked Joe is selling our country out to China? It’s not that complicated, especially when you don’t want it to be. Watch us do it: KDSK’s report also mentions that Cabela’s website is selling a two-pack of Moultrie Edge cell hunting cameras for $99, representing a savings of $80 off the normal retail price of $179.99, which we’re just going to go ahead and say would’ve been $59.99 on Black Friday 2023 if the 2020 election hadn’t been rigged and stolen. Deal with it libtards.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after this in-depth report on the vibes generated by Cabela’s Black Friday gift card giveaway. We hope our MAGA readers felt like it was accurate.

Exceeding expectations, on Friday Hamas released a group of 25 hostages, including 12 Thai civilians, more than the original 13 it had committed to let go, the New York Times reports per an account from the Egyptian government.  Although the identities of the other non-Thai hostages have not been released, a three-year-old American-Israeli girl is expected to be among one of the first group to be released by Hamas, CBS News reports.

Scores of the passengers who booked a first-of-its-kind three-year, round-the-world cruise on a luxury liner set to take off next week from Amsterdam were informed that the voyage had been canceled a week before its planned departure, leaving many of them without homes to return to because they sold their houses or canceled leases to save money.

According to CNN, customers are furious to learn that the company had not even secured a ship to take on the voyage for the Life at Sea Cruises’ inaugural voyage, which was supposed to depart Turkey on November 1st, but then was rescheduled to leave Amsterdam on November 30th.  Dozens of planned passengers remain in Istanbul, having traveled to Turkey to start their adventures early after having paid tens of thousands of dollars in advance, stranded because they had given up their residences to spend the next 1,000+ days on a floating hotel.

But apparently none of the passengers vetted the company.  Life at Sea Cruises intended to purchase the AIDAaura, a Carnival Cruise ship retired by the line this summer, and refurbish it to accommodate about 200 luxury suites, but they never secured the ship and it was just sold last week to a different cruise line.  Still, the CEO of Life at Sea Cruises did not announce the cancelation of the cruise until the day after the sale to the rival cruise line, never explaining how the company intended to redesign, refurbish and staff the ship in weeks.