CNN’s Manu Raju was asking around the Capitol to see how Republicans were feeling after a rough night for them in Kentucky, Ohio, and Virginia, finding few of them particularly confident or happy with the results ahead of next November’s apocalyptic battle between MAGA and democracy.

“We have to have a compelling message that appeals to suburban voters, no question about that. I think that’s economy, jobs, cost of living, public safety, the border. I think those are the issues that are going to resonate,” Republican Senate Whip John Thune told Raju, as if Glenn Youngkin and Daniel Cameron weren’t trying to make those very issues “resonate” in their respective states.

“I think it’s about execution, it’s about messaging, and we’ve got to do a better job. Yesterday, to me, it was a complete failure. These were races that Democrats didn’t win – Republicans lost, we didn’t show up, same way we didn’t show up in Georgia in 2020,” said North Carolinian Thom Tillis.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson followed up on his non-comment to Raju on the massive Ohio abortion referendum defeat from Tuesday night by not commenting about it on Wednesday either.

“There’s a big difference in running on state issues, and these were all state elections, and running on federal policies, defending Joe Biden,” said NRSC chief Steve Daines, trying to downplay it like he wouldn’t be all “SCREAM AT THE SKY LIBS! LMAO!” if it was a good night for the GOP.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan’s stupid Judiciary Committee hearing titled “Free Speech on College Campuses” was interrupted repeatedly on Wednesday by the free speech that Jordan didn’t quite feel like listening to, with one of his lackeys even bitching, with the usual lack of irony, in a tweet “🚨🚨🚨 Pro-Hamas ‘protestors’ are currently trying disrupt our hearing on free speech on college campuses and fighting anti-semitism. Disgusting,” as the shouts kept flaring up.

Kremlin collaborator Mikhail Filiponenko’s car experienced a mechanical malfunction on Wednesday, specifically that it exploded with him inside of it as he started the engine outside of his home in Ukraine’s Russian-occupied east, Politico EU reports, citing a celebratory announcement from Kyiv.

“Yeah, it was our operation,” Ukrainian military intel spokesman Andriy Cherniak told Politico in a phone call. Filiponenko, an “elected” legislator “was involved in the organization of torture camps in the occupied territories of the Luhansk region, where prisoners of war and civilian hostages were subjected to inhumane torture. Filiponenko himself personally brutally tortured people,” according to a statement from the Ukrainian military intelligence directorate. “All war criminals will be punished.”

French intel officials investigating a wave of Stars of David being spray-painted around a Jewish neighborhood of the 14th arrondissement of Paris have discovered a connection with the suspects and a pro-Russian Moldovan separatist described only as “Antoli P,” Europe 1 reports.

A source within the French DGSI – the equivalent of the American FBI – said the tagging “fits perfectly into Russia’s response to France, after the expulsion, more than a year ago, of 35 Russian diplomats,” with the express intent of internally destabilizing western Europe. A Moldovan couple were arrested in the spray-painting spree, having been paid 50 euros each to scare the shit out of people and exacerbate an already deeply tense situation amid the Israel-Hamas war.

Disgraced former President Donald J Trump has lost People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” award for the 38th year in a row, the celebrity media outlet confirmed late Tuesday in an article celebrating the coronation of sort of popular Hollywood actor Patrick Dempsey, most widely recognized for his role as Dr Dreamy or something on the long-running ABC primetime soap opera “Grey’s Anatomy.”

The setback loser comes amid a maelstrom of legal troubles in multiple federal and local jurisdictions facing the fat 2020 election loser including the imminent destruction of his corrupt business empire, a second federal defamation lawsuit brought by his rape victim EJ Carroll, and 91 felony charges that will almost certainly see him die in prison if convicted of a mere fraction of them.

“I’m glad it’s happening at this point in my life, It’s nice to have the recognition, and certainly my ego takes a little bump, but it gives me the platform to use it for something positive,” the 57 year-old Dempsey told People Magazine about being recognized for his handsome visage, one unburdened by the prospect of being incarcerated for the rest of his life for attempting to destroy democracy while the state of New York seizes his properties to pay civil fraud judgments levied by a court.

GOP underperforms again as Democrats use abortion, turnout to win marquee 2023 elections. Calls grow for Ronna McDaniel to resign as RNC chairwoman. | Just The News https://t.co/eo3xQRex8D

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) November 8, 2023

Ed Durr, the onomatopoeically-named MAGA trucker who shocked New Jersey Dems by defeating then-incumbent Dem state Senate President Steve Sweeney in 2021 after spending $153 on his campaign, was ejected from office by Dem John Burzichelli on Tuesday, Gothamist reports.

Durr had recently declared “A woman does have a choice! Keep her legs closed,” which would indicate to us that he prooooobably did not get a whole lot of votes from that crucial bloc.

“Tomorrow my wonderful and beautiful daughter, Ivanka, is going to the Lower Manhattan Courthouse, at the direction of Letitia Peekaboo James, the Corrupt and Racist New York State Attorney General, who has allowed Murder and Violent Crime in New York to flourish, and a Trump Hating, out of control Clubhouse appointed Judge, Arthur Engoron, who viciously ruled against me before the trial even started, wouldn’t even consider a Jury, and said that Mar-a-Lago, in Palm Beach, Florida, is worth $18,000,000 when, in fact, it is worth 50 to 100 times that amount.”

“Other properties likewise. Based on this information, which is so ridiculous, he said that I was a Fraud, when in fact it is Letitia James and the Judge who are Fraudulent for setting such LOW VALUATIONS in order to undermine and discredit my Financial Statements, thereby making me look bad – Election Interference! Now they are trying to bring Ivanka into the case, despite the Court of Appeals ruling that she cannot be charged. Sad!” writes fat former President Trump on Truth social.

So really we lied in the headline. Trump didn’t address the losses in Kentucky, Virginia, or Ohio at all, because he doesn’t actually care. “WITCH HUNT!” he screamed in a subsequent post.

Democrats in Virginia won control of the state’s House of Delegates on Tuesday which, along with their hold of the state Senate, just utterly fucking guts douchey vest-wearing “Diet MAGA” Governor Glenn Youngkin’s agenda and his mythical 2024 presidential ambitions, per Decision Desk HQ.

Democrat Judge Daniel McCaffery has defeated Republican Carolyn Carluccio in the race for a vacant seat on the Pennsylvania state Supreme Court, increasing the court’s blue majority from 4-2 to 5-2, the Associated Press reports on yet another important win for the good guys this Tuesday.

“If even one Pennsylvanian has concerns about our electoral process, we must address them. Our government cannot simply dismiss the concerns of a large portion of our electorate,” Carluccio had told the Philadelphia Inquirer back in May, making this victory that much sweeter.

Former sort of relevant politician Rick Santorum on Tuesday coped with the particularly painful for him abortion defeat in Ohio by tanking God that most states don’t allow direct ballot measures because “sexy” things like abortion and marijuana tend to draw out younger voters.

With 22 Democrats joining Republicans, the House voted to censure Michigan Democratic Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib, the only Palestinian-American in the House, for comments she made regarding the Israel-Hamas war, USA Today reports.  Tlaib used language favored by anti-Semitic groups to refer to wiping Israel off the map.  By a 234–188 vote, the resolution accused her of “promoting false narratives regarding the October 7, 2023, Hamas attack on Israel and for calling for the destruction of the state of Israel.”

Can’t win ’em all. Corrupt pasty doofus Mississippi Gov Tate Reeves has defeated Dem Brandon Presley (a relative of Elvis) to win a second term, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson told CNN’s Manu Raju that he’s simply “not going to comment” on the crushing defeat of forced birtherism in Ohio on Tuesday night, only adding that he “wanted to look into it a little bit more.” Actual Ohioan Jim Jordan played it off with the old crime and border song-and-dance for 2024. “Those issues are going to drive the election,” said Gym.

Maybe Jim Jordan will finally chill the fuck out:  Voters in Ohio on Tuesday chose to legalize recreational marijuana across the state, the New York Times reports.  With about 60% of the vote in, the margin to legalize cannabis sits at 55% for to 44% agin.  Congrats, Buckeyes.  Welcome to the club.  (Meant to post this earlier, but… y’know…)

New Wasserman call:  Democrats will hold on to the Virginia state Senate, knocking over the hoped-for three-legged stool for Republican Governor and the Party’s hoped-for savior Greg Youngkin, who was being eyed as a potential draftee candidate if Donald Trump should be removed in shackles to his own Elba.  Metaphorically, of course.

In her never-ceasing quest to destroy the integrity of Congress from the inside, Republican Georgia Congresssloth Marjorie Taylor Greene has added an amendment to the 2024 bill to fund HUD and the Department of Transportation that would reduce Secretary Pete Buttigieg’s annual salary to just one dollar, Politico reports.

Why on earth the loud, homophobic, conservative social media performance artist would target Buttigieg, a popular Cabinet member who likely harbors ambitions for higher office, is anyone’s guess.  But it continues Marge’s ongoing quest to use her legislative powers to punish the people she views as threats to her or Trump.

Dems scored another big win Tuesday night with the passage of Issue 1 in Ohio, enshrining the right to women’s reproductive health in the state constitution and solidifying the failure of a multi-step scam Republicans tried to pull by increasing the threshold for referenda to pass in the Buckeye State back in August (intentionally confusingly also called Issue 1) and then attempted to ratfuck the measure in the state Supreme Court, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects.