The effort to block disgraced former President Trump from the primary and general ballot in Colorado under Article III of the 14th Amendment continues on day two of the trial on Tuesday.

On a related note, earlier Lawfare’s Roger Parloff shared his group’s state-by-state tracker of the ongoing cases, noting that Team Orange are spinning the wins they’ve had so far as based on the constitutional merits when in reality they’re getting tossed for just being shitty cases, like the one in New Hampshire on Monday where some no-name Republican primary candidate’s complaint was dismissed because the judge ruled he couldn’t demonstrate a specific and justiciable injury.

The impoverished and deeply unstable southern Arabian peninsula country of Yemen on Tuesday officially declared war on Israel, sources on Twitter reported incorrectly as they don’t understand that when the Iranian-backed Shiite Houthi rebels call themselves the “Yemeni Armed Forces,” it doesn’t actually mean that they’re the government of Yemen. The Houthis did launch missiles at Israel on Tuesday, but given the attacks were deflected fairly easily by the Iron Dome, per the IDF.

This is obviously not good news, but it’s very, very short of the apocalyptic escalation people have been fearing in the weeks since the Hamas attack. So don’t freak the fuck out if you see someone posting “YEMEN DECLARES WAR ON ISRAEL!!!11!!” The Houthis are non-state actors.

An excerpt from former CNN media guy Brian Stelter’s upcoming book on Fox News (his second) printed in Vanity Fair on Monday still doesn’t stick to any one single hypothesis for why the network’s now-former top propagandist Tucker Carlson was fired abruptly in April, even casting doubt specifically on the prevailing theory – one supported by the timing – that it was secretly an additional condition imposed by Dominion Voting Systems on top of the $787 million settlement in the 2020 election defamation case. “Though Carlson would later suggest his ouster was a ‘condition’ of the Dominion suit, there’s no evidence to support that theory, and both parties deny it,” Stelter writes before concluding it was simply a confluence of multiple factors, with Tucker’s monumental hubris, arrogance, and internal abrasiveness being by far the largest of them.

Further down in the piece however, and funny as fuck, is one suggested by an unnamed friend of Tucker: That the Dark Lord himself, Rupert Murdoch, dropped the hammer to get revenge on his most recent ex-fiancee, conservative radio host/former dental hygienist/San Francisco Police Department chaplain Ann Lesley Smith, whose hardcore Evangelical views scared Murdoch. The friend thinks that, since Smith believed Tucker was a messenger sent from God, Rupert wanted to “rub it in further” by firing the twisted primetime host after their wedding had been called off.

Like the Dominion theory, this one’s also supported by the timing since Murdoch and Smith broke it off just weeks earlier. April 2023 was a pretty bad month for the Murdochs and Fox News – and MAGAmerica at large. Still, it seems like maaaybe a bit of a stretch. Rupert isn’t that petty, is he?

Danish beer brand Carlsberg’s CEO on Tuesday told reporters that the Russian government simply seized their stake in a local brewer in July after Carlsberg tried to sell it off in response to the Putin Regime’s murderous invasion of Ukraine, Reuters reports. CEO Jacob Aarup-Andersen said the Kremlin goons offered his delicious, foamy, heavenly yellow nectar that makes you feel so charming and invincible company new “terms,” but he refused to take part in the shakedown.

“There is no way around the fact that they have stolen our business in Russia, and we are not going to help them make that look legitimate,” said Aarup-Andersen as he explained why the company ate the $1.4 billion loss on the Baltika brewery. “We’re not going to enter into a transaction with the Russian government that somehow justifies them taking over our business illegally.”

A Manhattan judge on Monday told Fox News to cut the bullshit and stop trying to bring George Soros into the $2.7 billion lawsuit filed by voting machine company Smartmatic, ruling that any connections the outfit has with the pro-democracy philanthropist and MAGA supervillain are irrelevant to the original complaint over whether Fox defamed Smartmatic, CNN reports.

“I base that on the finding that the crux of Smartmatic’s claims is that Fox has asserted they were part of rigging [the election], not that Smartmatic was affiliated with George Soros, Alex Soros, or the [Open Society Foundation],” Manhattan Superior Court Judge David B Cohen said as he dickslapped Fox. “That’s a peripheral matter – at best, it’s a possible rationale for defamation.”

A Fox spokesworm tried to spin the defeat as a win, telling CNN “We are pleased that counsel for Soros and Smartmatic conceded during the hearing today that there are connections between Smartmatic and Soros, as confirmed by documents from Smartmatic and the public record.”

In a hilariously in-depth piece titled “3 Expert Shoemakers Say Ron DeSantis Is Probably Wearing Height Boosters,” Politico Magazine concludes that the angry little bastard wears incredibly elaborate boots to appear a few inches taller than he actually is – even beyond the obvious heels he often wears. “In the photo of him sitting on the wooden stool, you can see where the ball of his foot is protruding on the right boot,” one of the experts, Austin-based custom bootmaker Graham Ebner says while Zapruder-ing images of Ron. “It’s a good inch behind where it should be. It should not be in that position unless the heels were being lifted dramatically.”

Last Army post honoring Confederate renamed for former president https://t.co/oxxQgHRUet

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 31, 2023

Leon Cooperman, a hedge fund billionaire who has financed campaigns for a number of Republicans, told CNN that he would sit out the next election cycle if Donald Trump becomes the GOP presidential candidate.  “It would be terrible for the country if Donald Trump were reelected. He’s a divisive human being who belongs in jail.”

Told of Cooperman’s statement, Trump campaign spokesperson Steven Cheung said Trump “will be the nominee and will beat Biden because he’s the only person who can supercharge the economy, secure our border, safeguard communities and put an end to unnecessary wars. … Americans want to return to a prosperous nation and there’s only one person who can do that – President Trump,” apparently unaware that the GDP grew at 4.9% last quarter, more than any non-pandemic quarter of Trump’s only term in office.

The top officer in the Marine Corps and a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Eric Smith, was hospitalized Sunday after what Corps officials called a “health emergency,” the Washington Post reports.  Smith has been the Marine commandant since being confirmed in September.

Smith had been nominated in May, but his Senate confirmation was held up by Republican Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville, so since July, when Smith’s predecessor retired, Smith has had to handle the responsibilities of the commandant and Smith’s previous position, vice-commandant, another position that has not been filled because of Tuberville’s willingness to risk national security, and apparently, this man’s health.

Speaking on September 6th at the Defense News Conference in Arlington, Virginia, Smith said his schedule had left him exhausted.  “Nobody should feel bad for me,” he responded to a reporter’s question about workload.  “I make plenty of money, and nobody usually yells at me, so that’s good. But it is not a sustainable thing when the last thing you do is flip your computer off at 11:30 at night and you’re getting up at 5 o’clock in the morning.”

“Hold on, did he call it the Webb Telescope?” Fox hostess and demoted Trump advisor Laura Ingraham sneers. “Isn’t it the Hubble? [Her cohort chortles, “Yes,”] Is he thinking of Webb Hubble?” The Hubble Space Telescope was launched in 1990 into low Earth orbit. The Webb Space Telescope was launched in December 2021 and sits at the second Lagrange point, about four times the distance the moon is to the Earth. But sure, Laura, Biden’s the one who’s senile.

Democratic Senate Judiciary Chair Dick Durbin will call for a committee vote to empower him to subpoena three witnesses with ties to apparent corruption within the Supreme Court–billionaires Harlan Crow and Rob Arkley as bench packer Leonard Leo–as it calls for the Court to adopt ethics standards,

“The Supreme Court is in an ethical crisis of its own making. Thanks to investigative reporting, we now know that for decades, some justices have been joining billionaires with business before the Court on their private planes and yachts or receiving gifts such as private school tuition for a family member,” Durbin said in a statement.  “And it is through this reporting that we learned the justices have not been disclosing these gifts as required by federal laws that expressly apply to them. By accepting these lavish, undisclosed gifts, the justices have enabled their wealthy benefactors and other individuals with business before the Court to gain private access to the justices while preventing public scrutiny of this conduct.”

Crow is one of Justice Clarence Thomas’s benefactors, paying over-market value for Thomas’s mother’s house and allowing her to live there rent-free, as well as paying for vacations and other luxuries for Thomas and his wife, Ginnie; Crow’s largess was disclosed in media reports, not federal financial disclosures.  Arkley has paid for vacations for Justice Samuel Alito which Alito had not previously disclosed.

A heavily-armed man dressed in tactical gear and carrying improvised explosive devices was found, dead of an apparent self-inflicted wound, at the Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park outside Denver when staff arrived Saturday. morning, having canceled his apparent plans to undertake a mass shooting at the attraction, USA Today reports.

The unnamed individual, said to be a 20-year-old male, was dressed in black tactical gear adorned with militaristic patches.  He was armed with a semi-automatic rifle and a semi-auto pistol, along with multiple magazines for each weapon.  He also had IEDs with him where he died and in his car, when the police located it.

Officials believed the man broke into the park after it closed on Friday.  Police say that based on the amount and position of the weaponry he had, he could have undertaken an “attack of devastating proportions upon our community, and first responders” after the park opened Saturday.

President Biden’s decision to boycott the New Hampshire primary because state Democratic Party officials intend to schedule it before the DNC-first South Carolina vote has pushed state Party leaders to promote a write-in campaign for the incumbent, the Washington Post reports.

The DNC designated South Carolina to be the first state to hold a Democratic primary to better represent the demographics of the Party, instead of 93% white New Hampshire.  While New Hampshire has not yet set the date for its primary, state Party leaders have vowed they would schedule theirs first.  The Biden campaign intentionally missed last week’s filing deadline to appear on the ballot.

“Supporting our democracy is much more important than party politics or misguided DNC rules. This is about doing what’s right for our country,” the group called “Write-In Biden” formed to spearhead the effort, stated. “We in New Hampshire have said all along that whatever the DNC does, NH will follow its law and have the first presidential primary. Well, we’re having the first in the nation primary — and now it’s up to us to show the nation and world that Joe Biden is the president we need to protect our freedom.”

Alabama Republican Senator and football coach who may be exhibiting the signs of CTE Tommy Tuberville simply decides that every “Middle Eastern” person entering the country is a terrorist because bigotry and fear is all the GOP can run on when it has no policies.  In praising Israel, where pregnant patients can get government-subsidized abortions, something he held up the promotion of hundreds of US military officers for, thereby jeopardizing US national security, Tuberville exposes his prejudice.

There’s over two- or three hundred thousand that’s already crossed that border in the last two-and-a-half years.  We’re in trouble.  This country’s in trouble. We’re gonna have a 9/11 a month if we don’t watch it. But Joe Biden could care less.  His administration’s asleep at the wheel.

Justice Department press release: “Arthur Ray Hanson, II, has been indicted by a federal grand jury in Atlanta on charges of transmitting interstate threats to injure Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis and Fulton County Sheriff Patrick Labat because of their connections to the Fulton County, Georgia, investigation of former President Donald Trump. Hanson made his initial appearance in federal court in Huntsville and will be formally arraigned in Atlanta on November 13, 2023.”

“According to US Attorney Buchanan, the indictment, and other information presented in court: On August 6, 2023, Arthur Ray Hanson called the Fulton County Government customer services line twice and left two voicemails – the first for Sheriff Labat and the second for District Attorney Willis.”

“During both calls, Hanson threatened violence against the officials. In his message for the Sheriff, Hanson made statements that included: ‘if you think you gonna take a mugshot of my President Donald Trump and it’s gonna be ok, you gonna find out that after you take that mugshot, some bad shit’s probably gonna happen to you,’ ‘if you take a mugshot of the President and you’re the reason it happened, some bad shit’s gonna happen to you,’ ‘I’m warning you right now before you fuck up your life and get hurt real bad,’ ‘whether you got a fucking badge or not ain’t gonna help you none,’ and ‘you gonna get fucked up you keep fucking with my President.’ In Hanson’s message for the District Attorney, he made statements that included: ‘watch it when you’re going to the car at night, when you’re going into your house, watch everywhere that you’re going,’ ‘I would be very afraid if I were you because you can’t be around people all the time that are going to protect you,’ ‘there’s gonna be moments when you’re gonna be vulnerable,’ ‘when you charge Trump on that fourth indictment, anytime you’re alone, be looking over your shoulder.'”

It’s fun to put these words up against those of a deranged criminal who screams “TURN YOUR BACK ON THIS CORRUPT AND HIGHLY INCOMPETENT PRESIDENT, BY FAR THE WORST IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES, AND SHOUT OUT TO YOUR UNION LEADERSHIP TO ENDORSE DONALD J TRUMP. I WILL KEEP YOUR JOBS AND MAKE YOU RICH!!!” the day before he goes and rallies “union members” at a non-union machine shop. But you know, Biden is old and voters are blah blah blah.

Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes’s office has opened a criminal investigation into and subpoenaed Cochise County Supervisors Tom Crosby and Peggy Judd to testify to a grand jury about why the fuck they refused to certify the results of the 2022 midterm elections after Democrats swept all the most important statewide races, VoteBeat reports.

It’s not clear yet what charges the two far right chodes might end up facing, but the county has long been on the Secretary of State’s office’s shitlist for illegally trying to ditch electronic vote tabulators and switch to a suicidally-stupid hand count system, as well as other election denial-related scams.

VoteBeat’s report points however to a possible felony violation of the laws prohibiting an elections official from knowingly refusing to perform a duty prescribed to them under state law. Both the certification protest and the hand count scams were the subjects of civil actions which saw judges swiftly and decisively ordering the assclowns to cut the bullshit and do their jobs last November.

Incompetent dipshits James Comer and Jim Jordan on Monday sent a letter to DC Attorney General Brian Schwalb with the usual stupid song-and-dance trying to interfere with a local law enforcement investigation, this time over Schwalb’s ongoing investigation into a suspected contribution laundering scam by far right Federal Society co-chair Leonard Leo, the Messenger reports.

“It appears that your office does not have jurisdiction over this matter because Mr Leo and the organizations with which he is affiliated are, according to publicly available information, based outside of Washington DC,” Comer and Jordan wrote, as if a cult of far right lawyers and jurists wouldn’t be able to fight on those grounds. “Worse yet, the committees are troubled that your investigation could infringe upon the fundamental rights of Donor privacy and free association.”

Republican former North Dakota state Senator Ray Holmberg, who resigned last year after he was caught texting an imprisoned child pornographer, has been indicted on a federal felony charges of receiving porn from said fellow scumbag and for traveling with the intent to rape a minor for a series of trips he took to the Czech Republic between 2011 and 2016, the Associated Press reports.

Holmberg had served 45 years in the state Senate and chaired the appropriations committee at the time he was exposed as a pedophile. He may have appropriated himself the scratch needed to cover his vile sex vacations in eastern Europe as the AP found he spent at least $126,000 in state funds for travel over the last decade. Oh and he was a school counselor at his day job until he retired.

MAGA insurrectionist Vitali Gossjankowski, already convicted in March of obstructing an official proceeding and assaulting cops during the January 6, 2021 Capitol riot had been out still awaiting a sentencing hearing as of this morning, but things went south and fast after a judge revoked Gossjankowski’s bail for doxxing and threatening federal prosecutors, leading to a screaming meltdown in which the defense table was toppled and the dedicated Trump fanboy wrestled out of the room by court officers, CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reports from the scene.

Screenshots of text messages sent from Gossjankowksi to federal law enforcement officers used in support of the motion to revoke the asshole’s bail further confirmed his status as a top-tier America First MAGA patriot. Per MacFarlane, Gossjankowski’s defense lawyer tried to characterize this and deranged posts urging his Instagram followers to call the prosecutors and argue his First Amendment rights as a “release of steam” and that their client “just has a strong beef with how he was treated” by federal law enforcement since he was arrested for assaulting law enforcement.

Judge Paul Friedman didn’t care and ordered Gossjankowksi jailed immediately while awaiting his sentencing, causing the insurrectionist to react violently as court officers attempted to take him into custody. “Marshals order courtroom cleared as GossJankowski is physically resisting agents who are trying to cuff him. He makes gutteral screams and fights off agents… A computer plunges off defense table in the scrum. Other agents from elsewhere in courthouse run into Judge Friedman’s courtroom to corral Gossjankowski, who is huge and strong… Seven to eight agents finally get Gossjankowski under control. He’s going straight to DC jail,” MacFarlane wrote.