“Let’s go over some of the issues, though,” secret Trump advisor Sean Hannity says to GOP presidential candidate and dude who just wants to shake up the Establishment Vivek Ramaswamy.  “Y’know, you said aid to Israel, our number one ally, the only democracy in the region should end in 2028 and that they should be integrated with their neighbors–”

“That’s false,” Ramaswamy says with an audible rattle of his head.

“I have an exact quote,” a newly-reliant-on-facts Hannity responds.  “Ya want me to read it?”  Ramaswamy uses some weasel words–claiming he’s giving an “exact quote,” which he wasn’t–to say it would be a “mark of success” to ween Israel off US aid in five years.  To be fair, neither are being completely honest about Ramaswamy’s quote.

With its absentee father, Ron DeSantis, visiting for the week, Florida is preparing for impacts from two separate storm systems, one hitting from the Gulf of Mexico and the other skirting its Atlantic coast, the Miami Herald reports.

Hurricane Franklin, which just hit Category 3, is sliding north off the Atlantic coast too far for its rains to impact the United States, but with enough power to impact tides along the East Coast.  Hurricane Idalia is slated to hit Florida from the Gulf side on Wednesday, perhaps as strong as a Category 3.

Storm surges could hit as high as 11 feet, with the Tampa metro area experiencing surges of four to seven feet.  DeSantis, visiting the state to placate people at the site of a racially-based mass murder in Jacksonville, told residents to be prepared because this is “going to be a major hurricane.”

Jesse Watters just continues to self-own himself.  Here he is trying to convince his Fox propaganda network audience that Donald Trump is really, really popular among Black Americans–or, at least the one single Black American Jesse Watters claims he talks to:  his garbage man.

But the Democrats Soviet-style tactics have alienated their most loyal voting bloc.  The mug shot has breathed new life into the Trump campaign and broadened his appeal to Black Americans.  Over the weekend, with the help of mug shot merchandise, the Trump campaign raked in over $7 million. Today my garbage man told me he’s going to buy mug shot t-shirts for everyone he knows this Christmas.

Checking here:  Jesse Watters owns a $2.8 million, 10,000 square foot home on 5.5 acres in swanky Bernardsville, New Jersey.  While it surely doesn’t need to be said, Jesse Watters has never spoken to his garbage man about anything, let alone Trump t-shirts.

Republican political dilettante Vivek Ramaswamy must find a new introduction song for his rallies after rapper Eminem–reportedly Ramaswamy’s favorite musician–barred the tech entrepreneur from using his music on the campaign trail, USA Today reports.

Ramaswamy “spontaneously” performed Eminem’s 2002 hit “Lose Yourself” during an appearance at the Iowa State Fair earlier this month, and he frequently used the song as his “walk out” music during appearances.  Music licenser BMI sent the campaign a letter removing Eminem’s catalog from the songs available to the campaign.

After they accused him of being a foreign-born Mau Mau anti-colonialist but before the most recent accusation of being (arguably) the most corrupt president in US history, Barack Obama’s Daily Biggest Scandal, according to conservatives, was his fashion choice.  Eight years ago tonight, Tan Suit-gate blew up as President Barack Obama defiled the White House by wearing a (GASP!) tan suit to the podium for a press briefing.

It seems quaint now that a former president is actually facing felony charges, but it’s stabilizing to see the constructed scandals the GOP raises are just as facetious today as they were eight years ago.

A University of South Carolina professor is dead and a man reported to be a graduate student at the university is in custody after a tense afternoon on the Chapel Hill campus, WNCN CBS-17 in Raleigh reports.  The campus and surrounding area went on lock down around 1 p.m. local time after gunshots were heard on campus.  By 4:30 p.m. the all-clear had been issued and authorities announced they had a suspect in custody; a photo of the suspect match a picture of graduate student Tailei Qi from the school’s website.

A member of the Texas National Guard alleged fired his weapon multiple times on Saturday night, hitting a Mexican national on the other side of the border, with Texas authorities refusing to comment on why the guardsman discharged his gun, the Texas Tribune reports.

A local newspaper reports 37-year-old Darwin José García was practicing a sport with friends at a park near the Bridge of the Americas while others attempted to cross the Rio Grande nearby.  The group heard a series of gunshots, and García realized he had been shot in the leg.  He was taken to a local hospital where he was treated and released.

“On the night of 26 August, a National Guard Servicemember assigned to Operation Lone Star discharged a weapon in a border-related incident.  The incident is under investigation. More information will be made available as the investigation progresses,” a statement from the Texas Military Department said, referring to Republican Governor Greg Abbott’s program of putting National Guard troops on the border.

One-time Donald Trump advisor Peter Navarro claimed Donald Trump ordered him to claim their conversations on efforts to overthrow the 2020 election results were covered by executive privilege during his testimony in federal court Monday as Navarro fights contempt of Congress charges.

As CBS News reports, Navarro says he spoke with Trump eleven days after receiving the subpoena from the House Select Committee investigating the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress, and Trump instructed Navarro not to cooperate with the committee.  “It was clear during that call that privilege was involved, very clear,” Navarro said on the stand.

Prosecutors urged Judge Amit Mehta to cancel the hearing given Trump himself would not take the stand to testify to his command, arguing that Navarro’s claim is unsubstantiated without evidence or testimony that Trump actually gave the order.  While Mehta allowed the claim to be argued, he was less than impressed with veracity of Navarro’s testimony, noting, “I still don’t have any inkling of what the president’s words were.”

During testimony in federal court, Trump’s final White House Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows, claimed he decided on the spur of the moment to demonstrate personal initiative as Chief of Staff during a holiday visit to his children in Georgia when he wandered over to the Fulton County site where one of the numerous 2020 vote recounts was occurring, according to the Washington Post.  Meadows faces questioning from prosecutors, with lawyers for Donald Trump and other defendants reportedly sitting in the courtroom observing.

Meadows wants his Georgia RICO trial held in federal court, where cameras are not allowed and where the jury pool would come from a wider area than just Fulton County, which is heavily Democratic.  Meadows’s defense is that he was working in his official capacity to investigate election irregularities, which could conceivably come marginally under the auspices of a political appointee, but Meadow’s actions undermine his claim that it was an official, non-partisan action.  Meadows was also part of calls to Georgia officials during which Trump implored them to “find” enough votes for him to win the state.

With the hearing being held in federal court, reporters are not allowed to have electronic devices like cell phones or laptop computers in the courtroom, so reports are coming sporadically from reporters who can leave the room momentarily.

Republicans are all about performance art and grandiose acts designed to demonstrate their fidelity to Donald Trump and their abhorance of the United States Constitution.  Enter Georgia GOP Congressman Andrew Clyde, the censured MAGAt who repeatedly called the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress just “tourist visit” even though he was photographed helping to barricade the doors of the House chamber to block the “tourists” that day.

Now Clyde wants to take the weaponization of his government position to a new extreme, crafting legislation to defund every one of the criminal investigations into Donald Trump happening around the nation, even those state-level investigations that don’t get federal funding.  Per Roll Call, Clyde intends to introduce legislation that will cut off funds for Special Counsel Jack Smith’s office, as well as two prosecutors that aren’t using federal funds to prosecute Donald Trump for his actions.   Clyde believes he can defund Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis’s and Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg’s offices because Clyde desires to weaponize funding sent to municipalities to fight crime.

“Americans’ hard-earned tax dollars have no place funding the radical Left’s nefarious election interference efforts,” Clyde said in a statement without acknowledging the efforts by his fellow Republicans to, like himself, try to undermine the public’s faith in the Biden Administration and more widely, into law enforcement efforts investigating the ongoing criminal enterprise by the titular head of the Republican Party.

A student at the University of South Carolina was killed early Saturday morning when he was shot through a door after trying to enter the wrong house on his street, NBC News reports.  Nicholas Anthony Donofrio, a 20-year-old exercise science student from Georgia, reportedly tried to open the front door of a house down the street from his residence on South Holly Street and was shot in the chest.

The name of the shooter was not released, nor was any information about the weapon used or if it was registered.  In South Carolina, one does not have to be licensed or registered to own a gun.

Police responded to reports of shots being fired to find Donofrio dead on the front porch of a house with a single gunshot to the chest.  Given the time and day of the incident–after midnight on a weekend–it’s possible the victim was impaired after a typical night of college partying as classes got underway.  And given the new school year, the student may have moved into a new residence for the school year and simply forgotten his house number.  But this is what happens when you go to the wrong door in one of Jason Aldean’s small towns:  You get shot by a hyper-paranoid gun nut.

“Does President Biden want to limit Americans to two beers a week?” Fox propaganda network White House weasel Peter Doocy asked Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre baselessly in his unending quest to be the most useless individual in the Press Room.  Extrapolating hilariously from a report issued by the head of NIH’s drug and alcohol dependency center, Doocy wants to make a huge issue out of a study which found lower alcohol consumption is better for health.

Of course, no one in the Biden Administration is considering mandating the number of alcoholic beverages a person can drink in the United States.  The CDC and NIH have myriad nutritional recommendations, none of which are mandated by law.  But nonetheless, this will be a story during a segment on Greg Gutfeld’s insufferable bro-fest.

Military forces in Kyiv announced that Ukrainian forces have unseated entrenched forces in the southeast village of Robotyne, a development that allows the Ukrainians to push further into Russia’s lines of defense, the New York Times reports.

Ukrainian military authorities noted that this is the first major breach of Russia’s line in the recent offensive, with Russian soldiers and mercenaries reportedly deserting Robotyne after more than a week of fighting.  Robotyne is located about a third of the way from the Dnipro River to the Azov Sea in the east; the declared goal of the Ukrainian military is to reach the Azov Sea to cut the supply lines for troops in southeast Ukraine and the Crimea peninsula.

The Department of Transportation has fined American Airlines more than $4 million for keeping passengers confined for hours on aircraft stuck on the tarmac, causing physical and psychological distress for thousands of travelers, the Washington Post reports.

“Whether the issue is extreme tarmac delays or problems getting refunds, DOT will continue to protect consumers and hold airlines accountable,” Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg said in a statement. FAA rules require airlines to allow passengers to leave a plane if it has been delayed after boarding for three hours on domestic flights or four hours for an international flight.

Between 2018 and 2021, American held more than 5,800 passengers on 43 flights for more than the permitted idling time.  The company had already paid half the fine as reimbursement to the passengers impacted, while the other half will be applied as a fine.

Donald Trump’s federal trial on four felony charges connected to his attempt to undermine the results of the 2020 election being prosecuted by Special Counsel Jack Smith will begin on March 4th, 2024, DC Circuit Court Judge Tanya Chutkan said after hearing arguments from both prosecutors and Donald Trump’s attorneys, per Scott MacFarlane of CBS News and  Kyle Cheney of Politico.  Chutkan assured counsel “that I intend to ensure he gets [a fair trial].  But this case isn’t going to trial in 2026.”

Molly Gaston, a lawyer from the Special Counsel’s office, argued for a quick court date, saying that the defense has plenty of opportunity to review pertinent information and that their argument about the volume of material ignores the fact that the Special Counsel’s office prepped information for the defense, and that Trump’s behavior at rallies and on social media jeopardizes the opportunity for a fair trail because Trump’s attempting to intimidate witnesses, poison the jury pool and manipulate court processes. 

Trump’s lawyers, led by John Lauro, opted for theatrics rather than substance, with Trump lawyer John Lauro’s voice raising as he accused the prosecution of wanting a “show trial” not a “speedy trial.”  Chutkan rebuked Lauro’s tone and his constant claims that Trump is too overwhelmed: “Let’s take the temperature down … I understand Mr. Trump is presumed innocent, as is every defendant … Let’s not overlook the fact that Mr. Trump has considerable resources that every defendant does not usually have.”  

Having failed to make the debate stage, Republican Miami Mayor Francis Suarez’s presidential campaign seems to have gone dormant as the candidate continues to wade through a series of scandals and underwhelming fundraising, NBC reports.

Despite vowing “I’m going to make the debate stage, I can tell you that,” Suarez watched the debate from a hotel room as he continued his fundraising/campaigning grift.  About two weeks before the debate, Suarez urged the minor, gnat-ish candidates who didn’t meet the minimum requirements for participating–like himself–to drop out of the race.  “I’ve sort of always agreed with that. If you can’t meet the minimum thresholds, you shouldn’t be trying to take time and volume away from people that do.  I don’t think candidates should just sort of linger around if they don’t have a credible path,” suggested Suarez.

Saying Tucker Carlson was ousted even though “he didn’t say anything especially radical” according to them, the editor-in-chief of Russian Television (RT) said that the homeless white nationalist propagandist has demanded an interview with Russian President Donald Trump, Newsweek reports.

Margarita Simonyan, the chief propagandist at the state-owned network, falsely claimed Carlson was “the most popular host in all of U.S. history” and said, “Tucker is doing a great job. By the way, he’s really asking for an interview with Vladimir Putin! It would be great if someone hears this and gets this message to the president,” adding, he was fired by the GOP’s official cable propaganda network “just didn’t sing in tune with the rest of the choir. So they threw him out.”  In fact, Carlson was first after lies he told on air contributed to a $787.5 million defamation settlement for Dominion Voting Systems, and Carlson’s rampant lying, homophobia, misogyny disdain of corporate management was revealed when his text messages were released.

Kyle Cheney of Politico reports that the arraignments for Donald Trump and his 18 co-conspirators in his Fulton County racketeering case relating to trying to cancel the 2020 Georgia Presidential election will be held on Wednesday, September 6th, with Trump slated to go at 9:30 a.m. and the others following in 15 minute increments.

Polish officials are investigating a series of small acts of sabotage on rail lines around that country that resulted in massive disruption in the nation’s transportation and industrial operations, with officials investigating the possibility that Russia was behind the attacks, the Washington Post reports.

The Polish rail system utilizes a “radio stop” signal during emergencies that order all train within the region to stop immediately when a series of three tone are broadcast over the communications systems.  From Friday evening through Sunday (local time), the signals were broadcast without authorization to all trains, bringing 20 locomotives to a halt in the western end of the state.  On Saturday, another incident occurred at a northeastern port.  On Sunday, numerous trains were ordered to stop along Poland’s border with Ukraine.

Polish officials are investigating if the signals were broadcast by foreign actors trying to help slow the flow of military supplies to Ukraine.  About 80% of arms and ammunition going from Western nations to Kyiv’s forces go through Poland.

Notoriously shitty MAGA lawyer John Pierce, sort of representing Capitol rioter Michael Dillion, on Monday attempted to inject himself and his client into the timing of disgraced former President Trump’s expected DC trial on charges related to his post-2020 election coup attempt by filing a motion requesting that Judge Tanya Chutkan schedule Dillion’s trial six days after the date Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith requested for Trump’s trial to begin.

In case you’re thinking we’re just inferring that this is Pierce’s intent by asking for Dillion’s trial tp start January 8th, 2024, no. He specifically cited Smith, writing “Defendant MICHAEL JOHN DILLON, by and through undersigned counsel, hereby respectfully invokes and demands his Constitutional and statutory rights to a speedy trial and demands trial beginning on the date on which it is already set, January 8, 2024, pursuant to the Court’s order and 18 USC § 3161. There seems to be news discussion of holding trial for Donald J Trump before the same Court during or around this time, commencing on January 2, 2024; but Dillon insists on a trial as scheduled. Dillon rejects the injection of partisan politics and election interference into his legal rights as a Defendant.”