Is pumpkin spice an addiction? Maybe not, but it’s not the opposite either https://t.co/J9axEdME4q pic.twitter.com/ZZnFCv9qQm

— The Hill (@thehill) September 12, 2023

A new piece by the Washington Post’s Ben Terris on Senator Tim Scott’s weird excuses for not sharing just maybe a little bit more details about his supposed “girlfriend” to allay the far more demented “concerns” from GOP donors includes this gem of a quote from closeted, rapey CPAC chairman Matt Schlapp from early 2022, before Schalpp’s own proclivities became widely known:

“You think [Trump] picks a gay vice president?” Schlapp asked Terris in response to a question about reports that fat Donald was eyeing Scott as a potential running mate in 2024. Terris doesn’t elaborate further and, again, this was about a year before the first allegations of dick grabbing against Schlapp so Terris had no reason at the time to have asked if maybe Schlapp knows something we don’t. For his part however Terris doesn’t seem to be under that impression, writing that the GOP’s “rumor mill is lazy, and the ‘joke’ about the senator’s sexuality still gets repeated.”

Still, Terris correctly assesses how freaking weird all this girlfriend situation is in this day and age of politicians’ partners and families being so closely linked with their brands – particularly with conservatives – writing Scott “wouldn’t tell me her name, and the campaign declined to make her available to chat, even off the record. Technically I can’t verify that she exists, except to note that for a presidential campaign to essentially reverse-catfish America would be insane.”

Working hard to make it look like he has any choice in the matter with disgraced former President Trump and his fanatic cultists driving the effort, and that it wouldn’t be happening anyway if he ate bad shrooms and was in a coma in a rural Appalachian hospital while the House reconvened this week, titular House Speaker Kevin McCarthy will on Thursday publicly announce his support for the House Republican majority to impeach Biden for Hunter something, Punchbowl News reports.

McCarthy for whatever stupid reason believes the inquiry will be legally allowed to obtain the bank records and other documents Republicans think will then convince the whole House GOP caucus to actually support the impeachment effort enough to reach 218 votes. It’s not clear why his dipshit lieutenants James Comer and Jim Jordan haven’t simply subpoenaed the records, but McCarthy’s going to try to sell the caucus on the idea that what they have so far is enough to justify the vote.

Probably because, again, McCarthy promised his Orange Master he would impeach Biden a few months ago thinking “Oh Comer and Jordan will DEFINITELY have so much evidence by September. It’s in the bag. Mr President is going to be so happy with me and he’ll love me again. I’m his Kevin.”

Officials in the Southern Chinese city of Maoming are telling locals everything’s cool, they think, but maybe they might just want to stay in their homes for a bit after at least 75 crocodiles escaped from a nearby farm when heavy flooding overflowed their pens, the Associated Press reports.

No one’s been injured yet, supposedly. The flooding however has killed at least seven people in a series of landslide in the city of Yulin further west. Another three were reported missing.

Chugging along at a sluggish average speed of 31 miles per hour–perhaps because it was a heavy load–the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un’s personal locomotive finally made it the 350 miles from Pyongyang to Khahan, the checkpoint at the Russian border, the BBC reports.

To get to Vladivostok for the planned meeting with polonium enthusiast Vladimir Putin, Kim’s train had to change wheels at Khahan to ride on Russia’s wider rails before taking on the final five hours.  Kim and Putin are believed to be discussing additional arms sales from North Korea to arm Russian fighters in Ukraine.

Mother Nature hates us.  The death toll from the Friday earthquake that struck Morocco rose to 2,864, the New York Times reports, and the number is expected to continue to rise as rescue teams start to reach some of the most remote villages in the region.  Some survivors reported seeing “earthquake lights,” shown above, a documented phenomenon that still baffles scientists.

Elsewhere in Africa, as many 2,000 people are believed dead, according to the spokesperson for the local militia, as floods swept through the Libyan city of Derna after rainfall from storm Daniel caused a dam outside town to fail, pushing a wave of water through the town and wiping out entire neighborhoods.  The local Red Crescent group puts the number of dead more in the 250-350 range.

Always looking for the easiest path, disgraced former president Donald Trump has added his name to three separate motions of dismissal filed by his alleged co-conspirators calling for all the Fulton County, Georgia RICO charges to be dismissed, CNN reports.

Latching on to a motion by suspended lawyer Rudy Giuliani, Trump claims that the case should be dismissed due to “deficiencies” in the charges and that the indictment creates “double jeopardy” for Giuliani because of how it’s structured.  Giuliani called the charges “a conspiratorial bouillabaisse consisting of purported criminal acts, daily activities, and constitutionally protected speech.”  Kenneth Chesebro’s motion calls for the dismissal along the same lines, those with fewer culinary references, arguing the indictment “fails to sufficiently set out the charge or any violation of the law.”

After Florida told America who won the 2000 presidential election, nasty Arab men infected by the woke mind virus and scared of strong Republican leadership conspired under the Clinton Administration to launch an attack with no warning signs on the United States.  Evil people, the Clintons hate America because Bill was impeached for being a sexual degenerate.  The people put in charge of Afghanistan by Bill Clinton, the Taliban, helped Osama bin Laden work with Democrat Party spies to launch the attack.  (Hillary Clinton then erased the emails showing the coordination from her server using bleach.)

The mainstream media portrayed the attack as one carried on by a small group of Muslim extremists who infiltrated the United States, but citizen journalists identified key parts of a plot that began in the dark corners of the federal Deep State, which knew about the plan and, some people say, assisted the destruction of the World Trade Center by planting explosives at the bases of the buildings to maximize the damage.

The Food and Drug Administration has approved the upgraded version of the Gates nanobot coronavirus vaccine, another step in the formal process to get the vaccine out during the Fall flu season when people get other vaccinations, CBS News reports.

Sure to signal a round in the winter of stories about how “he was perfectly healthy before he suddenly keeled over dead; it must be The Jab, not the fact that he was overweight and shoveling snow,” the new vaccine is updated to cover the major variants currently spreading.  The next step will be a review by a CDC panel of independent outside vaccine advisors, which is scheduled to meet on Tuesday.

Telling Trump advisor and show hostess Laura Ingraham that he’ll campaign in the Southside of Chicago, in Los Angeles, in Boston and in Hartford–to demonstrate that he’ll got to Democratic (read:  Black) neighborhoods to attract voters, Florida Republican Governor and guy who’s poll numbers are falling faster than a Jenga tower at a 7-year-old’s birthday party Ron DeSantis said he’s going to try to eek out votes.

“We have no choice as Republicans, Laura, if every urban area goes 90-10 Democrat, then we have this high-wire act to squeeze out enough voters.  You’re not going to win this urban areas, but if you just improve, that is a huge, huge possibility.”

“President Donald J Trump, through undersigned counsel, respectfully moves to recuse and disqualify the Honorable Tanya S Chutkan pursuant to 28 USC § 455(a). Fairness and impartiality are the central tenets of our criminal justice system. Both a defendant and the public are entitled to a full hearing, on all relevant issues, by a Court that has not prejudged the guilt of the defendant, and whose neutrality cannot be reasonably questioned. Judge Chutkan has, in connection with other cases, suggested that President Trump should be prosecuted and imprisoned. Such statements, made before this case began and without due process, are inherently disqualifying.”

“Although Judge Chutkan may genuinely intend to give President Trump a fair trial and may believe that she can do so her public statements unavoidably taint these proceedings, regardless of outcome. The public will reasonably and understandably question whether Judge Chutkan arrived at all of her decisions in this matter impartially, or in fulfillment of her prior negative statements regarding President Trump. Under these circumstances, the law and the overwhelming public interest in the integrity of this historic proceeding require recusal,” write Team Orange in a motion.

Yeah this is definitely how to get on a judge’s good side, asking her to voluntarily remove herself from a case just because she said some mean things about you while sentencing the white trash assholes who you sent to go sack the Capitol. Really brilliant 12D chess move there, champ.

Sources tell NBC News and the Washington Post President Biden’s 2024 reelection campaign will begin turning its fire on disgraced former President Trump in order to keep swing state voters focused on the four-times-indicted rapist’s abysmal record in office and fire up fundraising to capitalize on his legal problems ahead of their very likely final battle next November.

“In a fragmented media environment, it’s more important than ever for our campaign to be investing early and aggressively across platforms to deliver our message where voters are,” Biden campaign manager Julie Chavez Rodriguez told the Post in a statement. “While Republicans duke it out and burn cash fighting each other, our campaign is reaching our general election audience early and consistently – which is critical for winning in November 2024.” They should also mention it’s fun to needle the fat bastard on the things that make him and his fans so angry and defensive.

“The one thing I never understood about politics? Who the hell would ever vote for Crooked Joe Biden? Do they watch him at press conferences? He can’t put two sentences together. The WORST EVER on the foreign stage! We’re being INVADED, our Border has COLLAPSED, INFLATION & CRIME are rampant, Economy sucks, Interest Rates and Taxes are through the roof, you can’t by a home, our Elections are Rigged, our Military is Woke (Afghanistan was a catastrophe!), our Airports are DONE, NOTHING WORKS. MAGA!” wrote the particularly agitated former President Trump on Monday, just before demanding that the United Auto Workers union endorse him and after calling the indictments against him a “taking away of my RIGHTS, as well as the RIGHTS of a vast majority of the Country whose views and opinions I represent.” Sounds like he’s having fun.

If the Biden admin refuses to stop the invasion of cartel led human and drug trafficking into our country, states should consider seceding from the union.

From Texas to New York City to every town in America, we are drowning from Biden’s traitorous America last border policies.

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) September 11, 2023

A recent focus group of New Hampshire Republican voters commissioned by Semafor finds that five of the eight participants who sat for it believed the latest wave of COVID infections is somehow connected to the upcoming elections because that’s how the last one was “rigged.”

“With the ‘plandemic,’ we see it coming again, and there’s a lot of writing on the wall,” said one Granite State Republican. Semafor did not elaborate on why the dumbasses believe this though we would have to guess first and foremost would be the automatic association MAGA voters have between COVID and mail-in voting and thus “cheating.” Separate, but not mutually exclusively, is that any major crisis, particularly one so economically impactful, is by nature going to challenge or disadvantage any incumbent. The key words there being “any incumbent,” meaning that in the real world the emergence of some super-mutated COVID strain is almost certainly going to be more of a plus for Trump than Biden (notwithstanding Trump’s abysmal handling of the pandemic in 2020).

But so aggrieved they are over the original COVID outbreak, coming the year the Orange Caesar had planned on be reannointed, they kind of aren’t thinking rationally. They’re MAGA after all.

Insurrection !!! https://t.co/6hu2hHHgHW

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) September 11, 2023

Catturd and the other fanboys are just going to act on impulse and “sarcastically” call this very temporary and very literally peaceful occupation of loser House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s office over the upcoming expiration of funding for the PEPFAR global AIDS relief funding program an “insurrection” simply because the lib activists doing so are trespassing, aren’t they? They’re just going to walk themselves into inviting the contrasts between a handful of granola lefties sitting on the floor of one office with the January 6th sacking of the entire Capitol that left five people dead, dozens of police officers injured, and hundreds of Trump fans sentenced to federal prison? They really want to go pound for pound on which “protest” was the more “peaceful” of the two?

Alright, let’s do it. Let’s hope this sit-in gets plenty of play time in the MAGA media. Round-the-clock coverage on Fox News starting now hopefully. Wall-to-wall on Breitbart. Bring it on.

Amid a series of redistricting wins in state and federal court in Ohio, Alabama, and Florida over the last week and more on the way in Louisiana, Georgia, and New York, Democrats have on paper positioned themselves to erase the GOP’s five-seat House majority and will have secured somewhere around net eight total safe new districts, Politico reports. Of course it all depends on the environment next year and all that shit but in comparison a 2022 baseline the already in or almost in the bag victories make Kevin McCarthy’s bid to hang onto the Speaker’s gavel that much harder.

That is if he even makes it to 2024, which isn’t a sure thing given the dissent in his caucus.

It wasn’t some NYU kids renting out equipment to film a mediocre comedy skit or a public access news crew that caught the only really significant known footage of American Airlines Flight 11 from Boston to Los Angeles crashing into the North Tower of the World Trade Center in Lower Manhattan on September 11th, 2001. It was Jules Naudet, a French documentary filmmaker who, with his brother Gedeon, had been embedded with the Engine 7/Ladder 1/Battalion 1 crews based at the New York City Fire Department’s firehouse on nearby Duane Street. The Naudet Brothers, who had been staying at the house as they filmed probationary firefighter Tony Benetatos learning the ropes had split up that morning, with the older Gedeon continuing to follow Benetatos and the less-experienced Jules getting in some practice with Battalion 1, riding along on a boring, routine call as they were sent to check out a possible gas leak a few blocks away from the towers.

That was just the start of Jules Naudet’s terrifying, badly miraculous day as immediately Battalion 1 rushed to the scene to begin responding, with then-Battalion Chief and now Deputy FDNY Commissioner Joseph Pfeifer making the first official report of the crash on the way. Jules stayed in and around the North Tower through the crash and collapse of the South Tower, eventually just barely making his way out before the former’s collapse along with Pfeifer and the others from Battalion 1. Gedeon, not knowing if his brother was still alive, got as close as he could, capturing the dust clouds from the collapses from blocks away. The brothers were later reunited at the firehouse where, miraculously, all crew members had survived despite the grievous death toll inflicted upon the FDNY crews based across Brooklyn and Lower Manhattan, 343 total dead that day.

Brazilian President Luiz Lula, who’s more than a bit too Kremlin-friendly but still light years less of an asshole than his disgraced predecessor Jair Bolsonaro, has sheepishly uninvited Russian dictator Vladimir Putin from next year’s G20 summit after realizing that, like South Africa’s leadership recently found, he can’t really get out of the international obligation to place the evil tyrant under arrest on the war crimes warrant issued by the ICC, Al-Jazeera reports.

Attending this year’s G20 summit in India over the weekend, Lula had told a local paper that “If I’m the president of Brazil and if [Putin] comes to Brazil, there’s no way that he will be arrested,” which then changed to “I don’t know if Brazil’s justice will detain him. It’s the judiciary that decides, it’s not the government” on Monday, plainly after a “Sir, shut the fuck up” from his advisors.

Lula then bitched about the UN’s war crimes court, saying “I want to know why we are members but not the United States, not Russia, not India, not China. I’m not saying I’m going to leave the court. I just want to know why Brazil is a signatory.” Again, not really good, still better than Bolsonaro.