Politics party with elephant in team mascot logo mad, they say justice guys too nice to crackhead who paint nice pictures. They really upset with Democracy party over rainbows and condescension toward people who eat horse paste. Elephant party also extra mad because agent guys with guns and badges come and put big holes in chest and face of angry man who write mean words and threaten to hurt president on computer. “BLAM BLAM!” the guns went and angry man dead forever.

Elephant politics party think justice man with glasses being unfair to their Orange Jesus, who don’t look like Jesus from Bible, but more like fat Roman toga guy who feed Christians to lions. “NOT FAIR!” they yell on computer and on TV channels with US flags in graphics and lots of commercials for gold bar retirement plans and special medicines that help make wieners stay hard. The elephant politics party really think they deserve special rules in big contest against democracy people like in sports for people in wheelchairs. “ELECTION INTERFERENCE” the Orange Jesus yell a lot because he in big trouble with law and have to go to court a lot during big contest or go to jail for a long time.

Blonde lady from Elephant party who really upset all the time and hate Jews and Black people even though they never did anything to her and have sex with men who aren’t husband before husband leave her was really super extra upset. “Joe Biden must be impeached. Merrick Garland must be impeached. David Weiss must be impeached. Jack Smith must be impeached,” she write on computer on Friday after justice man with glasses make change she not happy with. News article not end happy because elephant party not happy right now. They really mad with democracy party.

In a unanimous decision, the Republican-majority Ohio Supreme Court rejected a last-ditch effort by GOP legislators to keep a proposed amendment that would enshrine abortion rights in the state constitution off the November ballot, the Columbus Dispatch reports.

The Republican lawsuit was filed within a week of the amendment effort getting enough signatures to get on the ballot.  It was paired with the failed effort to raise the percentage of votes needed to pass an amendment as ways conservatives would kill the democratic process.  Republicans argued that the amendment would nullify current Ohio statutes, and therefore those laws need to be listed in the new pro-choice amendment.

“The fair and natural reading of (Ohio law) does not require a petition proposing a constitutional amendment to include the text of an existing statute,” according to the court’s opinion.  Republican Justice Pat Fischer noted that the Republicans filing the complaint hadn’t been able to specify which part of Ohio law the new amendment would nullify.

Oh, how we hope to use that headline again, but in this case the fake billionaire we’re talking about is crypto scam artist Sam Bankman-Fried, who was taken into custody after prosecutors in his fraud case told the court he was violating conditions of his $250 million bail, NPR reports.

With the trial scheduled to start October 2nd, prosecutors say Bankman-Fried contacted witnesses scheduled to testify for the prosecution trying to intimidate or influence them.  He’s also alleged to have used a VPN to circumvent court-ordered monitoring of his internet usage.

Part of the intimidation campaign involved Bankman-Fried giving the New York Times copies of pages from his former girlfriend’s diary; his former girlfriend, Caroline Ellison, led a hedge fund Bankman-Fried co-founded.  She’s pleaded guilty to fraud herself and is awaiting sentencing.

Viet Dinh, Fox Corporation’s general counsel since 2018 and a former assistant attorney general under George W. Bush, has resigned his position with the conservative propaganda network, the New York Times reports.  Dinh led the legal team in the Dominion Voting Machine defamation lawsuit that ended with Fox agreeing to a $787.5 million settlement, perhaps the largest such payment in US history.  The move comes as Fox faces additional similar defamation lawsuits from Smartmatic and Ray Epps that may cost the company billions.

Great visit at Adams State University for a meeting with President David Tandberg.

Adams State provides a first-class education. The college has helped foster economic development and cultural enrichment in the San Luis Valley.

I look forward to future efforts and interactions… pic.twitter.com/gHnwiKZ4IN

— Rep. Lauren Boebert (@RepBoebert) August 11, 2023

Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s “little bitch” Lauren Boebert (LB²) finally made it to college!  The second-term Republican Congresswoman from Colorado, famous for dropping out of high school after getting impregnated by a 24-year-old sex offender who flashed his penis to her classmates in a bowling alley, finally got into a college classroom, but only as a visitor to Adams State University in her district.  Because LB² did not finish high school, did not score well on standardized entry exams, and did not qualify as a legacy,

Fighting a little-known Florida law that frequently prevents lawsuits by relatives of patients who die due to a doctor’s negligence because either the patient or the distressed survivor was over the age of 25, patient rights activists are working to overturn the 30-year-old law that’s become known as the “free kill” bill, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

The 1990 law prevents lawsuits from survivors over the age of 25 from suing a doctor if a relative dies of malpractice, and it greatly limits the number of people eligible to sue for pain and suffering due to the premature death of a loved one.  The law prevents anyone over 25 from suing doctors for pain and loss judgments in malpractice lawsuits over the death of a parent if the parent were divorced or unmarried, but it allows a spouse or a minor child to sue.

“Our current laws don’t reflect that families come in all shapes and sizes,” said Florida Senate Democratic Leader Lauren Book, who is planning to introduce legislation to revoke the statute. “No matter who you leave behind — it should protect families equally in cases of wrongful death.”

In his nearly five-hour interview with Jack Smith’s office earlier this week, Rudy Giuliani henchman Bernie Kerik gave prosecutors significant information incriminating election fraudster Sidney “The Kraken” Powell for her efforts to undermine the results of the 2020 election, Rolling Stone reports.

“Based on the contents of their questions, and my understanding of criminal law, the main individual who was discussed who Mr. Kerik gave any information that could be incriminating would be Sidney,” Tim Parlatore, a former Trump attorney, told Rolling Stone, adding Kerik testified “[t]hat there was no back-up for anything she said, that when she was asked to provide proof she didn’t produce anything, and when she was cut loose, how she kept trying to push her way in.”

“I think that this should be concerning to all Americans that this is attempt the Biden family corruption.  I mean, Mr. Weiss is the single architect over that sweetheart plea agreement deal that the judge in Delaware threw out just a few weeks ago as saying it was off and unfair.  There were provisions within that, that sweetheart plea deal that granted complete immunity to Hunter Biden for these crimes and future crimes, and she’s even stated she’s never seen anything like that before, and who was the architect of that?  Now the person who, Garland, who President Biden’s Justice Department just appointed to be special counsel [but who was named a US Attorney by Donald Trump].  I am very fearful that appointing the special counsel is just an attempt to stonewall Congress’s investigation of the Biden family.”

A day after hosting Republican performance artist Marjorie Taylor Greene to throw out the first pitch, the minor league baseball club in Rome, Georgia, in Marge’s home district, announced it’s going woke and changing its mascot from a derisive Native American image.

“After twenty proud years as the Rome Braves, the time has come to usher in a new era of Minor League Baseball in Rome, Georgia. In 2024, the Rome Professional Baseball Club will take the field under a new name,” the team said in a statement. “Our mission is to give the Rome community a brand as unique and special as the area itself is.”

The club, a minor league affiliate of the Atlanta big league team with which it shared a name, asked fans to submit new names via its website.  In the past decade, a number of teams in various sports on various levels have changed their mascots from images that portray demeaning ethnic stereotypes.

Attorney General Merrick Garland appointed former US Attorney for Delaware David Weiss to be a special counsel continuing the investigation into Hunter Biden’s alleged criminal activities, NBC News reports.  Weiss, a Trump appointee, led the investigation into Hunter Biden’s conduct regarding delinquent federal tax payments and a federal firearms charge.  MSNBC’s Kyle Griffin reports that Weiss made the request for the special designation on Tuesday, and Garland announced the appointment just three days later.

In a separate court filing, prosecutors state Hunter’s withdrawn plea agreement now appears scrapped and the federal case against Hunter Biden will likely go to trial.  “Since that time, the parties have engaged in further plea negotiations but are at an impasse. The Government now believes that the case will not resolve short of a trial.”  The potential trial venues:  Central California based in Los Angeles or Washington, DC.

With his lawyer claiming he “will scrupulously abide by his conditions of release,” Donald Trump faced DC District Court Judge Tanya Chutkan for the first time Friday, hearing directly from her that his status as a candidate for public office does not impact her decisions in the case, CNN reports.

“This is a criminal case,” Chutkan said during the Friday hearing in Washington. “The need for this criminal case to proceed in normal order and to protect the integrity of the process means there are going to be limits on the defendant’s speech.”  Trump will not be allowed to undertake such actions that would intimidate or slander witnesses who have given testimony to Smith’s office regarding Trump’s attempt to overturn the certified results of the 2020 election.

Chutkan warned Trump that she “will be scrutinizing [Trump’s posting on social media and his public statements] very carefully” for signals he is attempting to intimidate witnesses or obstruct the trial.  She largely leaned toward the wishes of prosecutors in the case to shield witnesses from threats and protecting sensitive information, although she did not impose a blanket protective order as the Special Counsel’s office wanted.  “Even arguably ambiguous statements by the parties or their counsel, if they could be reasonably interpreted to intimidate witnesses or to prejudice potential jurors, can threaten the process.”

Republican Alabama Senator and supposed Russian mole trying to destroy US military leadership Tommy Tuberville’s eligibility for his Senate seat may be in doubt, with AL.com reporting Tuberville no longer owns property in the state of Alabama.  Tuberville sold two parcels of land, one in Macon and one in Tallapoosa, his last property in the state.

Tuberville and his wife, Suzanne, own a house in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida, a house the Senator’s office describes as a “vacation house,” and the sales agreements for the July transactions were notarized by a notary in that Florida town.  Tuberville’s wife also holds a Florida realtor’s license; she does not have one for Alabama.  Tuberville’s office says a property listed as belonging to Tuberville’s wife and son in Auburn, roughly an hour’s drive from Santa Rosa Beach, is their primary residence.

There are problems with that explanation, however.  Expense reports show Tuberville flying from Washington, DC to Panama City, Florida seven times in 2022.  Panama City is a 40 minute drive east of Santa Rose Beach–an additional 40 minutes away from Auburn. Many people leaving Auburn choose to fly out of Columbus, Georgia, just a 30 minute drive away.

Lawyers for President Joe Biden are reportedly negotiating with the office of Special Counsel Robert Hur, a former Trump-appointed deputy attorney general assigned to investigate Biden’s handling of government documents found in his possession, NBC News reports.

An interview with the subject of an investigation typically takes place towards the end of an investigation, and with Biden’s full cooperation, Hur has been looking into the causes a handful of classified documents ended up at Biden’s home in Delaware and at the Chinatown office in Washington he operated as part of his stint with the University of Pennsylvania.

Michigan MAGA power couple State Representative Matt and former state GOP co-Chair Meshawn Maddock aren’t doing so great these days owing to the 85 years in prison Meshawn faces following her recent indictment, along with 15 of her compatriots, on eight felony charges related to her signing a fake electoral collage ballot for fat former President Trump in December 2020.

On Thursday the Detroit News reported that a judge had denied Meshawn a pass to travel out of state to attend MyPillow assclown Mike Lindell’s “election summit” in Missouri. “Meshawn Maddock has been denied the opportunity to attend a Republican political summit hosted by Mike Lindell,” lawyer Nick Somberg wrote in a Facebook post. “Astonishingly, the reason is that the AG disapproves of the meeting’s content… The assistant attorney general argued it’s akin to allowing a drunk driving defendant to partake in a wine tasting summit,” Somberg added with extra butthurt.

Then on Friday the Messenger obtained audio of a speech by Matt at a “Free The 16 Electors Poolside Party!” they hosted earlier this month and yeah he just wants all out civil war over his wife getting nailed to the wall for trying to help overturn a free and fair election. “If the government continues to weaponize these departments against conservatives and the citizens that are then the taxpayers, you know what’s going to happen to this country… Someone’s going to get so pissed off, they’re going to shoot someone. That’s what’s going to happen. Or we’re going have a civil war or some sort of revolution. That’s where this is, where this is going.” Meshawn then took the mic for brief remarks, saying only it was “really better for none of us to say anything, which is hard, because I like to say shit.” The party was BYOB, per an invitation, which also asked for donations “for the 16 Michigan Electors fighting the politicized attacks from the Evil AG Dana Nessel!”

Right wing propaganda oligarch Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp, publisher of the New York Post, the Wall Street Journal, the Australian, the Times of London, and the Sun, among others, recorded a 75 percent decline in net profit from $760 million in 2021-2022 to $187 million in 2022-2023, mostly owing to lower advertising revenue for the empire’s outlets in Australia, the Guardian reports.

The profit hit has the douchebags who run the vast array of media outlets (separate from Fox News and other television properties) naturally looking at AI-generated content as a means of trimming expenses. “That momentum is surely gathering pace in the age of generative AI, which we believe presents a remarkable opportunity to create a new stream of revenues, while allowing us to reduce costs across the business,” said News Corp Chief Executive Rob Thompson, adding “We are already in active negotiations to establish a value for our unique content sets and (intellectual property) that will play a crucial role in the future of AI,” whatever the fuck that actually means in practice.

A federal grand jury has been hearing testimony about Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s ties to indicted real estate developer Nate Paul, the Austin American Statesman reports.

Justice Department press release: “A Follansbee, West Virginia, man was arrested today on criminal charges related to his alleged obstruction and witness tampering in a federal trial. Hardy Carroll Lloyd, age 45, was taken into custody early this morning without incident. According to the criminal complaint, Lloyd began commenting online about the federal hate crimes trial in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, of Robert Bowers, the Tree of Life Synagogue mass shooter.”

“Lloyd, a self-proclaimed ‘reverend’ of a white supremacy movement, made threatening social media posts, website comments, and emails towards the jury and witnesses during the trial. Lloyd also placed or had others place stickers in predominantly Jewish areas of Pittsburgh, directing people to the website containing his threats and antisemitic messages. Lloyd is charged with obstruction of the due administration of justice, transmitting threats in interstate and foreign commerce, and witness tampering. He faces up to 10 years in prison for the obstruction charge, up to five years for the threats charge, and up to 20 in prison for the tampering charge.”

Humanoid Squidward Stephen Miller and his group of nuisance lawsuit lawyers at America First Legal have filed a lawsuit against Kellogg’s for a limited edition Pop Tart–yes, the former White House advisor is suing a toaster pastry–commemorating LGBTQ Pride.  In the complaint filed (for some reason) with the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission, reported by The New Republic, Miller claims the brand’s goal is to “politicize and sexualize its products” in its marketing to children.  “Kellogg’s is yet another big corporation that will break the law and hurt its shareholders’ interests to serve the twisted woke ideology of its officers and directors,” AFL charged.

“They are trying to deflect blame from the FBI, Democrats, and Biden onto Trump. Also, the original story was Facebook tipped them off. Also, someone explain to me how small local sheriff departments, with no budget, can send two cops out to similar situations and resolve 99% of them peacefully, but the FBI needs to send 50 agents that look like shock troops?” – The current top comment on the Gateway Pundit article “Truth Social Tipped FBI to *Armed* Utah Man Killed in Pre-Dawn Raid,” picked up from the CNBC report how the feds found out about Craig Robertson.

This guy’s pretty butthurt. Who’s “trying to deflect blame”? That was awesome that the FBI helped the scumbag find out after he fucked around. They deserve credit. But the best part is this asshole crying that “the original story was Facebook tipped them off,” as if it has to be mutually exclusive, and that he wasn’t simply also posting the same shit on Facebook who tipped off the FBI too. The criminal complaint against Robertson mentioned a social media handle, @winston4eagles, but not the platform. Surprise, surprise, there’s a locked Truth Social profile “@winston4eagles,” which very strongly the platform took some kind of action against him. It all adds up to a Trump property selling out one of his fans so he be could tracked down and shot dead by federal law enforcement.