Three Virginia teens are under arrest Monday, charged with stealing a golf cart at gunpoint from a group of golfers at a Fairfax County golf club, part of a string of thefts and robberies police say they conducted, the Washington Post reports.

Last week, a worker at Hidden Creek Country Club approached a group of boys he believed were stealing golf carts; one of them reportedly pointed a gun at the worker.  Later that night, a group stole another cart and crashed it, before approaching a group of golfers on the course and stealing another golf cart at gunpoint.

Deon Luangraj, 18-years-old, is charged with robbery and various gun charges.  His two accomplices, ages 14 and 16, are facing a variety of charges, from gun and narcotics possession to robbery.

Being instructed that he “shall perform no act to intimidate any person known to him or her to be a codefendant or witness in this case or to otherwise obstruct the administration of justice,” Donald Trump’s bond in the Fulton County election interference case has been set at $200,000, ABC News reports.  “The above shall include, but are not limited to, posts on social media or reposts of posts made by another individual on social media,” the order states.

According to other reports, Trump is also barred from contacting the other defendants in the case, either directly or indirectly, while the ABC News report notes that the communications limitation is specific to the scope of the case.

Having been pushed aside by Speaker pro tem Kevin McCarthy who showed that he’d rather side with Democrats than their juvenile lot, the House Freedom Caucus on Monday released a set up demands it insists must be met if Republicans in the House are to pass another funding bill, NBC News reports.

The nihilists demanding attention said in a statement any future funding bill must have their language on border security; it must include a plan to “de-weaponize” the Justice Department without mentioning any effort to defend the Jorder-Comer politicization fantasies and lies coming from their committee hearings; and changes in Pentagon policies, although they did not list what they wanted except to say “end… cancerous woke policies in the Pentagon.”  Of course, they cannot define what a “woke policy” is.

While Speaker pro tem McCarthy cowered from making a statement, House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries not hesitate to call out the foot-stomping far-right radicals: “House Republicans are determined to shutdown the government and crash our economy. We will fight these MAGA extremists every step of the way.”

Nine-month Trump White House veteran Kayleigh McEnany–who allegedly started supporting Donald Trump’s political career to enhance her television career options–gave some of her insightful advice to Donald Trump, the kind of which catapulted him to global esteem for his transparency in dealing with the worldwide coronavirus pandemic and a clear victory in his reelection bid.  Oh… wait….

Look, you never want somebody else to stand in that center podium.  This is going to be the biggest audience of any Republican event that we have seen this year, could be the biggest audience ever.  It’s the first GOP debate.  You’re giving the center podium to someone else.  You’re allowing these other candidates time to share their stories.  Not only that, two hours of attacks.  You will get attacked even if you’re not there, and no one can answer those attacks better than President Donald Trump himself.  … If he does go on to be the nominee, Donald Trump, Joe Biden doesn’t want to debate him.  There has been reporting about that.  He is not wanting to take the stand at that presidential debate.  You’re giving Joe Biden a card to say, I’m gonna use the Trump debate standard and not show up because I’m so ahead in my internal polls, I’m just not coming.”

Florida continues to unleash biological warfare hazards onto the United States, intent on infecting the nation.  First, the first mosquito-borne malaria cases in years, then the emergence in of the Biblical curse leprosy, a string of brain-eating amoeba attacks, and now, a rare flesh-eating bacteria.  And how could we forget the periodic alligators attacks.

Five Floridians have died of Vibrio vulnificus, and three like Florida transients from New York have also succumbed to the flesh-eating bacteria.  There have been a total of 26 confirmed cases of the bacteria in Florida alone this year, with a few dozen cases found around the country.  The bacteria thrive in warm ocean waters, and with coastal ocean temperatures off the coast of Florida topping 100ºF, the “peach tree” dish is ripe for explosive growth.

NBC News reports Georgia Superior Court Judge Scott McAfee has agreed to a negotiated agreement between prosecutors and John Eastman that set bail at $100,000 with the provision that Eastman  “shall report to pre-trial supervision every 30 days,” and “shall perform no act to intimidate any person known to him or her to be a codefendant or witness in this case or to otherwise obstruct the administration of justice.”

One of the architects of the fake electors scheme, Eastman is part of the conservative, pseudo think tank the Claremont Institute.  He promoted the idea that then-Vice President Mike Pence could unilaterally reject state’s Electoral College electors and decide single-handedly who would be the next President of the United States would be despite the voting outcome.  Real constitutional scholars reject the plan as fanciful.

As the West Coast gets pummeled by a rare land-reaching tropical storm and an earthquake, the Atlantic coast of the nation is watching five separate major storms developing out at sea, the Washington Post reports, with three tropical storms forming over the weekend.

A low pressure system sitting in the Gulf of Mexico is expected to bring three inches of rain to the Texas coast in the next few days, with some areas getting as much as seven inches.  Texas officials have issued flash flood and high-water warnings for Tuesday and Wednesday for the areas around Corpus Christi, Laredo and Brownsville.

Tropical Storms Emily, Franklin and Gert are churning in the Atlantic and their paths are still unknown–unless you’re a certain guy at Bedminster with a Sharpie. Franklin impacted Puerto Rico, dumping more than an inch of rain on the island Sunday.

I was reliably informed Trump isn’t funding any of us who are indicted.

Would this change if he becomes the nominee? Why then, not now?

I totally agree this has become a bigger principle than just one man. So why isn’t MAGA, Inc. funding everyone’s defense? https://t.co/dI0JvThJyp

— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) August 19, 2023

Disgraced “lawyer” Jenna Ellis just can’t get over the fact that the Trump camp continues to fund her legal defense after months of inhaling Rudy Giuliani’s farts and knowingly spewing lies about the integrity of the 2020 election. Perhaps it’s because Ellis supports the other Florida Man, Ron DeSantis, for the 2024 GOP nomination.  It could be that Trump doesn’t think she’s important.  It would be a good time for the cash-strapped self-declared “Christian” to make herself right with her God and tell the truth to prosecutors.

Arizona officials continue their investigation into the fake electors plot in their state, focusing attention on former GOP chair Kelli Ward and her husband, both of whom allegedly signed on as fake electors to a false election certificate after she expressed doubts about the legality of the scheme, Rolling Stone reports.

Ward and her husband, Michael, and nine other Republicans signed an forged document claiming they were the legitimate Electoral College appointees even thought Joe Biden was declared the certified winner of the state.  Arizona is one of at least seven states where such a ploy happened in an attempt to undermine the respective state’s legitimate voter choice.

However, Ward and fellow Arizona GOP official Kathy Townsend, a state senator, questioned the legality of the move, something Trump lawyer and Co-conspirator 5 took note of in an email to his fellow henchmen:  “Ward and Townsend are concerned it could appear treasonous for the AZ electors to vote on Monday if there is no pending court proceeding that might, eventually, lead to the electors being ratified as the legitimate ones,” Chesebro wrote in an email.

With its invasion of Ukraine becoming a quagmire and its president oppressing all political opposition, Russia has few things to celebrate.  Now they may have one:  Domino’s Pizza is closing its remaining store in the country, CNN reports, with its Russian unit, DPRussia, declaring bankruptcy.

“With the increasingly challenging environment, DPRussia’s immediate holding company is now compelled to take this step, which will bring about the termination of the attempted sale process of DPRussia as a going concern and, inevitably, the group’s presence in Russia,” DP Eurasia, its umbrella corporate entity, said in a statement.

Domino’s operated 142 franchises in Russia, standing as the third-largest supposed-pizza delivery service in the country.  While Domino’s may pull its support, other American companies that have pulled out of Russia, such as Starbucks and McDonald’s, saw their franchises attempt to continue as “Stars Coffee” and “Vkusno i tochka” (which translates to “Tasty, period”) respectively.

Holy crap. https://t.co/PEfQikM0Cd

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) August 21, 2023

Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) isn’t very smart.  For a Harvard alum and a member of Congress, Ted falls for a lot of clearly false memes–especially those that have been around for a decade.  It would be nice if members of Congress could confirm the image before disseminating patently and proveably false information, including that no necessarily about sharks.

With word that the Fulton County, Georgia sheriff’s department’s plan to process indicted felon Donald Trump as he would every other defendant including fingerprints, mugshots and vital statistics, British bookmakers have set the line on wagers regarding Trump’s mysterious weight, the Daily Mail reports.

After then-White House Physician and now embarrassment of North Texas, pill pusher Ronny Jackson, announced in 2018 that Trump stood at 6’3″ tall and weight 239 pounds–ounces below the “Obese” tag–onlookers speculated about how much Trump really weighed given the obviously lie Jackson told.

Now, bookmakers have anticipated the announced physical stats to be released by the Fulton County Jail after Trump is processed to be 273.5 pounds.

“Trump is trying to run out the clock. Not good strategy given his legal entanglements. It’s likely to cost him in Iowa and New Hampshire. Frankly, I hope it does. I’ve moved on from Trump. We need a fresh Republican face as our 2024 nominee” – Top comment on RedState.com’s article.

“If Trump participates, the DEBATE will turn into a BERATE. Good call President Trump!” – The top comment on the Breitbart article. Not clear if this is for or against Trump showing up.

“Trump is the only choice” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s article. Very clear that this asshole doesn’t care either way and would vote Trump even if he pissed his pants on stage.

“I thought it was wrong for Biden to say he will not participate in the debates, and I think it is equally wrong for Trump to not participate in the debates. This attitude of ‘I have this in the bag’ from both Trump and Biden is very off-putting. There are things going on today that were not going on during the 2020 election, and things that have happened since the 2020 election that both should be on stage addressing with the other candidates running in the primaries” – Top comment at Daily Wire by some asshole trying to bothsides it after Trump also skipped the GOP primary debates in 2019.

“Why would you stop on the highway to argue with the bugs squished on your windshield?” – Top comment at Newsmax’s article, kind of clever and funny considering the network’s audience.

These Iowa numbers for 2021 California gubernatorial recall election loser Larry Elder, 2022 Michigan gubernatorial primary reject Perry Johnson, and former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson are pretty fucking impressive. Literally zero support. Miami Mayor Francis Suarez and Ryan Binkey – no wait, Binkley – whoever the hell he is, each got at least one out of 406 respondents to support them in this new Des Moines Register/NBC News/Mediacom Iowa survey all the mainstream political media sites are going to be talking about. Mostly the top of the field with Trump and DeSantis and Tim Scott and Mike Pence and blah blah blah so let’s cover the bottom her at National Zero.

And man… Holy freaking shit that sucks for Asa Hutchinson to come in behind that Blinky guy. Like it’s one thing for those assclowns Johnson and Elder to get no support, but for a guy who actually served two terms as governor in a decent-sized red state to get zero support in Iowa… Damn.

Almost feel bad for him. Maybe genuinely feel bad that more Republicans couldn’t just be relatively normal like him and Mitt Romney instead of fucking demented Nazis like Trump and DeSantis.

Guatemalan conservatives got their dicks handed to them in Sunday’s presidential runoff election as center-left anti-corruption candidate Bernardo Arévalo of the upstart Movimiento Semilla Party won in a landslide against right wing former first lady Sandra Torres, Axios reports.

As if they didn’t have enough shit to put up with after as many as 1,050 people still missing may have been completely incinerated when a firestorm destroyed the historic town of Lahaina this month, officials on Maui are now worried that Tropical Storm Fernanda could bring rain, KHON reports.

“Part of my concern, and they said it was a legitimate concern, and I think they are forming plans was for the runoff from what they say it’s that toxic ash, you know, if it gets into the water system and into the ocean that’s a nightmare,” said Maui County Councilmember Tamara Paltin.

“I want to talk about Trump’s alleged crimes for a second. He has not been indicted with incitement, we know that, right? So it’s not a crime to tell lies. Being a narcissist isn’t a crime. Hatching schemes to stay in office is not a crime. Claiming you won an election you know you lost is not a crime,” said Fox News host Julie Banderas two weeks ago, just days after disgraced former President Trump was indicted at the federal level for his post-2020 election coup attempt and before he was charged along with 18 of his minions in Georgia as the leader of a RICO conspiracy for the same. As such it’s a little stale of a clip but it sticks out as a solid example of the “defense” MAGA Republicans are putting up for their Orange God Emperor these days in their media hits and stupid Twitter posts.

It’s one we anticipated in June 2022 when we put up a lengthy examination of what the case against Trump for his post-2020 defeat coup might look like in terms of his knowledge or belief of whether the election was indeed “stolen” from him. Sure enough, Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s indictment of the fat bastard for his schemes directly addresses this, stating “the purpose of the conspiracy was to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 presidential election by using knowingly false claims of election fraud to obstruct the federal government function by which those results are collected, counted, and certified.” As in Jack Smith doesn’t care if Trump actually believed or still does believe he truly won, he can prove that the means he used to try to overturn the election were corrupt and violations of federal statutes. It’s something quite a few TV legal pundits have posed as scenario along the lines of “If you think the bank took $5,000 from your account improperly and you go stick up a branch for the same amount you’re going to be arrested and charged with armed robbery whether you’re right or wrong about the $5,000 missing.”

Meaning a defense based on whether Trump really believed it is not going to fly in court. Especially not in DC where we would be surprised if Judge Tanya Chutkan would even allow it to be argued in front of the jury in the first place. So it’s really a political argument meant to reassure MAGA voters that it’s all just a witch hunt and these charges are political blah blah blah.

A preliminary 5.1 magnitude earthquake struck 4.5 miles southeast of Ojai, California at 1:41 PM PDT on Sunday, just as the region was getting hit with the outer bands of Tropical Storm Hilary. Since the quake occurred less than 30 minutes ago we have no reporting on damages, however the hypocenter was 9 miles deep and the area is pretty used to moderate shaking. Most homes and businesses are seismically reinforced so it’s unlikely anything serious happened.

As far as a connection goes yeah it’s certainly possible. Anyone who’s going to be like “LOL of course they would happen at once” isn’t entirely crazy. Heavy rainfall and low barometric pressure maybe could’ve triggered the quake, just as the downpours are causing mudslides on the surface. That will however probably take a while for seismologists to sort out and find a link.

At the end of a Truth Social post heralding his 62 percent support over the rest of the Republican primary field in the latest CBS News/YouGov poll, disgraced former President Trump on Sunday wrote that due to his prohibitive lead he “WILL THEREFORE NOT BE DOING THE DEBATES!” which, while he’s full of shit and walks things back all the time, seems pretty definitive.

So for now, officially, he’s not going to show up to this week’s debate on Fox News, the second debate at the Reagan Library next month, the rumored third debate in Alabama in October, or any of the other ones that’ll be scheduled prior to the Iowa caucus. Sucks for Ronna Not-Romney, and potentially for Trump too because he might be giving Biden an excuse to skip their showdowns.

The Marshall Islands-flagged Suez Rajan, carrying as much as one million barrels of sanctioned Iranian oil, is starting to unload its cargo to a transport tanker off the coast of Galveston, the Associated Press reports.

The action ends months of saga over the oil:  after setting sail from a Persian Gulf port in February 2022, the Biden Administration confiscated the tanker’s suspected cargo, Iranian oil under sanction, via a court order that was believed to have been issued as the tanker sat for months in the South China Sea off Singapore as the source of the oil was determined.

Iranian officials continue to try to distribute its oil by hiding points of origin on transit documents. Iran, however, does not recognize the authority of the sanctions, put in place to punish Iran for continuing its nuclear research program, and it claims ownership of the cargo.  Iran’s Revolutionary Guard issued a threat against the facilities and companies unloading and selling the oil, saying they “should expect to be struck back.”