This is it folks! The big one! The Biden Criminal Empire is finally going to go down in flames as heroic IRS agent Gary Shapley and the mysterious WHISTLEBLOWER X who will somehow, if Democrats don’t ask them a lot of questions, show the American people ABSOLUTE, IRREFUTABLE PROOF that the Bidens took dirty foreign money in exchange for something that they don’t know what it is yet but they’ll figure it out soon. Probably has something to do with the Chinese spy balloons.

“After discussions with Valerie and the kids and much consideration, I have decided not to run for another term as Governor in 2024. This was no easy decision as I truly love serving as Governor. Public service should never be a career, and the time is right for another Republican to lead our great state,” says New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu in a statement, opening up a potentially competitive race and pickup opportunity in the Granite State for Democrats next year.

Somewhere out there in the MAGA media there’s a whole hooooeee ton a stories bout this country boy who, just couple years after his mama birthed him in the backbed of a broken down Silverado, picked up a old guitar and started strummin when he just barely knew how to walk. From then the boy always knew what was gonna be, even before his Uncle Bobby Dave snuck’m into the Garth Brooks show at the Palladium down in Stuckeysville ’cause Bobby Dave worked security there.

Hell, that was right before Bobby Dave got high on meth, shot his boss in the forehead, stole the register, and burned the Palladium to the ground. Damn. Lots of people were steamin mad over that, especially that judge who said Bobby Dave had to go to jail until he’s dead and they ain’t gonna let him out even a minute before then. Anyway, so now the boy all grown up and he’s a big star in Nashville and he singin lots of songs about regular folk like Bobby Dave and his little girl, Destiny Starlette, who’s all grown up now and she even got three of her own. She all by herself and she got three mouths to feed. Top of all that she have to collect call her daddy Bobby Dave… right when he get out of solitary for stabbin Destiny’s second baby daddy Luis in the neck with a broken hair comb for knockin her up and then goin to jail himself for stealing copper from the Union Pacific yard.

Them corrections officers shoulda known them two shouldn’t be in the same jailhouse an- Oh right, so the boy, Jason Aldean, he all grown up now and he a big hit in traditional America, especially with his latest single “Try That In A Small Town,” which is telling them Antifa queers and BLM thugs on no uncertain terms are they gonna be allowed to loot and burn a tight, close-knit community like Stuckeysville or anywhere else out in the country. But now them Jews who control the media say that song is CANCELLED from CMT, which now stands for Communist Music Television. Real Americans ain’t gonna take this no more! They keep pushin us down but we risin back up! MAGA!

The quiver in the voice of the soul trapped as far beneath Hades as Hades is beneath fair Gaia betrayed a hopelessness and resignation of the task he spake to the screeching hag. For he knew the trees he long toiled upon would bear only the most meagre and bitterest of figs, unfit even for the swine he deigns to fatten. How he envied the sweet solitude of Sisyphus, spared the hag’s hateful shrill. Damed as he be, the cursed King of Ephea’s torment least hath but utter silence.

Ahem… James Comer might need to be medicated. He really sounds like he’s got PTSD at this point. He tries to sound like it’s no big deal that bad news for Trump always seems to come right before he’s supposed to take down the entire “Biden Crime Family” with an “I don’t think people are even paying attention to the Trump indictments,” before letting on just how broken and depressed he is these days. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t indict Donald Trump right before I hit the gavel for this committee hearing today. Every time we break big news with respect to the Biden criminal investigation here comes somebody to indict Donald Trump to try to steal the headlines.”

It’s a very sad story and one that keeps happening because, as we’ve written, Comer and Jim Jordan and the rest of them aren’t really that smart, don’t really know what the fuck they’re doing, and, most importantly, are in a constant triage mode to use Hunter Biden to deflect from Trump.

“MEMORANDUM OPINION DENYING DEFENDANT’S RULE 59 MOTION re: [204] MOTION for New Trial. filed by Donald J Trump. The jury in this case did not reach ‘a seriously erroneous result.’ Its verdict is not ‘a miscarriage of justice.’ Mr Trump’s motion for a new trial on damages or a remittitur (Dkt 204) is denied. SO ORDERED,” writes SDNY Circuit Judge Lewis Kaplan in the order tossing disgraced former President Trump’s motion for a retrial and a reduction of the $5 million judgement against him after being found liable for sexual abuse and defamation by a jury in one of two lawsuits brought be writer EJ Carroll over a credible accusation he raped her circa 1995.

Adding to the beatdown, in the full memorandum Kaplan also wrote “As is shown in the following notes, the definition of rape in the New York Penal Law is far narrower than the meaning of ‘rape’ in common modern parlance, its definition in some dictionaries, in some federal and state criminal statutes, and elsewhere. The finding that Ms Carroll failed to prove that she was ‘raped’ within the meaning of the New York Penal Law does not mean that she failed to prove that Mr Trump ‘raped’ her as many people commonly understand the word ‘rape.’ Indeed, as the evidence at trial recounted below makes clear, the jury found that Mr Trump in fact did exactly that.”

Meaning a federal court has ruled that Trump is in fact a rapist and it is no longer potentially libelous or defamatory for National Zero’s editorial staff to refer to him as such in print. Free speech prevails!

A spokesperson for South African President Cyril Ramaphosa’s office announced Wednesday that Russian dictator Vladimir Putin will not be showing up for the BRICS summit in Johannesburg next month, as the host country has not been successful in their attempts to weasel out of their member obligation to arrest the deranged war criminal immediately upon his arrival pursuant to the warrant issued by the International Criminal Court earlier this year, the AFP reports.

“By mutual agreement, President Vladimir Putin of the Russian Federation will not attend the summit, but the Russian Federation will be represented by Foreign Minister Mr (Sergei) Lavrov,” said Ramaphosa spokesman Vincent Magwenya in a statement, though we’d have to question just exactly how “mutual” the decision was. “Well we tried to accommodate you, but rules are rules sooo… Yeah, we’d prefer not to have a bloody firefight between our cops and the Spetsnaz on the tarmac in front of news cameras right after Putin lands. Even if your guy Lavrov seriously gives us the creeps with his rapey mustache, it’s still probably better for everyone if you send him instead.”

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s team issued a subpoena to the Georgia Secretary of State’s office in late May seeking surveillance footage from the State Farm Arena in Atlanta from the weeks after the 2020 election when the stadium’s convention hall was purposed for tabulating hundreds of thousands of ballots cast by area voters as part of their investigation into the Trump Regime’s post-2020 election coup attempt, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports.

It’s not clear precisely what investigators on Smith’s team are interested in that the footage could contain, however it’s probably a safe bet it’s related to the “suitcase” conspiracy theory falsely implicating mother-daughter election worker duo Ruby Freeman and Shae Moss – now the subject of defamation suits brought by the two against alcoholic shitbrain Rudy Giuliani, Southeast Asia male sex tourism enthusiast Jim “Gateway Pundit” Hoft, and right wing propaganda network OAN, the last of which ended up settling with Freeman and Moss for an undisclosed amount last year.

Sources on disgraced former President Trump’s team tell Politico Playbook that they did not intentionally have their Orange God Emperor announce his pending third felony indictment on Tuesday morning to eclipse increasingly doomed rival Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s big interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper later that day, however the “serendipity” wasn’t lost on them.

“Was the former president trolling his top 2024 opponent by taking over the news cycle? We were told that no, it wasn’t intentional – though Trump’s team didn’t mind how it rained on DeSantis’ parade,” Politico wrote, underscoring but not really even trying to appreciate just how fucking warped Trump’s team and really the GOP’s whole situation are these days. They think a criminal indictment helps add to his momentum with Republican primary voters and they’re kind of right, insane as it sounds. Even if there’s a case to be made that they might have actually sort of “helped” DeSantis by stomping on his interview and thus limiting the damage he did to himself with his shitty performance, the larger reality is the one described in the above headline.

All that being said, DeSantis’s CNN bit probably still gotten more bandwidth if Michigan Attorney Dana Nessel hadn’t indicted all 16 of the state’s fake Trump 2020 electors at more or less the same moment the prerecorded interview began airing, forcing the network to cut into it. DeSantis’s minions can still blame Trump for that very unluckily timed news drop, albeit indirectly.

Wednesday was an explodey day in Ukraine as the Putin Regime struck the Black Sea port city of Odesa hard with multiple drone and missile strikes targeting grain and oil terminals while Kyiv took out an ammo depot in occupied Crimea, prompting more than 2,000 evacuations, the BBC reports.

With the probable indictment of the frontrunner for breaching national security and the second-place candidate as personable as a slug in salt, Republican South Carolina Senator Tim Scott is gaining new support from institutional backers, Politico reports, with his Super PAC making the largest ad buy so far this campaign season.

Trust In the Mission [or TIM] PAC will drop $40 million for television, radio and digital advertising starting September 7th concentrating in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina, with other ads going to national cable networks.

In what may be evidence of a tragic accident or the most ingenious way to fake one’s own death, a GoPro camera that was once attached to the helmet of an Alaska kayaker who apparently drowned while kayaking on a glacial lake was found on a lakeshore Sunday.  According to the Associated Press, the camera reportedly shows the kayaker, 43-year-old Paul Rodriguez of Juneau, rolling under the water but never coming up, with the camera being buffered by the rapid flow of water coming from the glacier.

The helmet with camera attached was found along the shoreline of Mendenhall Lake by a civilian and turned over to police Monday.  A vehicle that was parked at Mendenhall Glacier Recreation Area since July 11th has been identified as Rodriguez’s.  But the man’s body had not yet been found.

During Tuesday’s interview with his secret advisor Sean Hannity on Fox, Donald Trump made a series of his typical exaggerations, falsehoods, lies and slanders, including claiming (fraudulently) that the Presidential Records Act gave him permission to have any records that he wants, and he all but orders House Republicans to impeach Joe Biden to weaponize government against his Number One opponent.

A 16-year-old middle school student from Guatemala employed by Mar-Jac Poultry plant in Hattiesburg, Mississippi was killed last week on the job in an accident involving an unspecified piece of equipment, an incident that illustrates how recklessly industries treat vulnerable workers.

According to NBC News, Duvan Tomas Perez was two years too young to be working at the poultry plant, a job site so dangerous OSHA does not allow anyone under the age of eighteen to work in meat processing.  Two years ago, another worker was killed in an accident.  In case you’re wondering, the plant was fined $27,306 in that death, a judgment the company is appealing.  But remember, folks, Republicans want kids as young as 14 to work in meat packing plants because money.

The perpetually immodest and aggrieved son of indicted former president Donald Trump has decided that the upcoming round of indictments–the third criminal round but umpteenth legal problem–to come against his father will mean not just the end of the Republic, but the end of Western civilization.  “We are into decline.  It’s like the end of the civilization, ahhhhh, and, y’know, if you look at the timing, most civilizations last 250 years; we’re at about 248, so ah we are in serious trouble now, Steve, if we don’t right this ship.”

“He loves this. Another news cycle he will dominate. I hate it because it will alienate the independent voters we need to win in the general. Not everyone is as eager to martyr him as his base is. This will not end well. But y’all are bound and determined to try” – The current top comment on the RedState.com article “BREAKING: Donald Trump Confirms Receiving Target Letter From Jack Smith in January 6 Criminal Investigation.” Weird how rational-ish this guy seems over it.

“The message I got was, remember Jared? Pedophiles still crave Subway” – The current top comment on the Gateway Pundit article “CNN Says Jack Smith Buying a $5 Subway Sandwich is a ‘Message to Trump,'” about the network’s silly, insipid coverage of Smith being spotted buying lunch on Tuesday… which a Gateway Pundit reader “jokes” that it means Smith is a pedophile.

“Trump is suspected to have ripped a tag off a mattress in 1992. Quick! Empanel a grand jury to investigate. At this point all this is getting obvious and ridiculous and comes across as gratuitous piling on. It will push Trump’s supporters even closer to him, but as usual, the Democrats could be overreaching here because most normals out there know a pile-on when they see it, and piling on just because you CAN is inherently unfair” – The current top comment on the TownHall article “Trump Announces He Expects ‘Arrest and Indictment’ in January 6 Grand Jury Probe.” Public opinion polls have for months consistently found majorities support criminal charges against Trump, so LOL at this asshole thinking “most normals out there know a pile-on when they see it.”

US law enforcement officers interdicted fewer than 100,000 in June, the lowest level since February 2021 as the impact of Biden Administration policies like revoking Title 42 and implementing remote asylum requests start to take effect, Politico reports.  Border agents detained 99,545 individuals trying to enter the country through means other than one of the ports; another 45,000 undocumented migrants came in through the ports of entry.

Undoubtedly, conservatives will credit Trump’s wall–which apparently took more than two years to make an impact even though it’s a physical barrier–or claim that this is some secret Deep State plot to underreport the number of “illegals” entering the country because laptop debt ceiling cocaine.

Justice Department special counsel Jack Sith’s letter notifying disgraced former President Trump he’s a target in the criminal investigation into the post-2020 election coup attempt plot included mentions of three federal statues the fat bastard is likely to be charged under: Conspiracy to commit offense or to defraud the United States, deprivation of rights under color of law, and tampering with a witness, victim, or an informant, sources on Team Orange tell Rolling Stone.

The letter does not contain any mention of seditious conspiracy, obstructing an official proceeding, or insurrection, suggesting that Smith is aiming for the official corruption-ish elements of the plot to overturn the election, like pressuring Mike Pence to toss the electoral votes, rather than the more ambiguous culpability the autocratic tyrant has in inciting the attack on the Capitol on January 6th.

With record-breaking temperatures reported not just in the United States but around the world, the report of a location in Iran having a heat index reaching 152 degrees Fahrenheit has scientists and medical researchers wondering if humans can tolerate anything higher, CNN reports.

Researchers have calculated the top threshold for environmental temperatures that humans can tolerate would be 160°F for any extended period.  Should the climate continue to heat up, humans may find some areas physically too hot to handle for more than an hour or two a day.

Asked by Jake Tapper if Donald Trump should be charged if Jack Smith presents evidence of a crime, Florida Republican Governor Ron DeSantis says it’s all water under the bridge and should be overlooked:  “I don’t think it serves us good to have a presidential election focused on what happened four years ago, uh, in January,” a wide-eyed DeSantis asserts even though the crimes happened two years ago and continue on through today.  “And so I want to focus on looking forward.  I don’t want to look back.  I do not want to see him, I hope he doesn’t get charged.  I don’t think it’ll be good for the country, but at the same time, I’ve got to focus on looking forward and that’s what we’re going to do.”