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New Mexico Dem Party HQ hit with mini-Watergate

“We have some startling news – DPNM Headquarters was broken into and burglarized. Security footage from DPNM cameras and a nearby business showed that an individual smashed through the front door, entered the office, grabbed a handful of items, and then took off. Staff discovered the break-in upon showing up for work in the morning,” say New Mexico Dems in a Facebook post.

“Thank you for standing with us during this time. We’re still a little rattled, but it helps to know we have so many Democrats across New Mexico who have our backs. Whatever the motivation was, we have to repair the damage, clean up the mess, and help our team recover missing items.” We have to make some pretty significant repairs and help our team replace some stolen items. We’re still taking stock of the damage and inventorying the items in our office. Although this is scary, we’re glad no one was in the office at the time of the break in. We don’t know why this person broke into our office. In these times of heightened political rhetoric and activity, we can’t rule out that this might have been politically motivated,” the post continued and no, they shouldn’t rule it out.

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MAGA Land mopes through Unliberation Day

Unliberation Day is here! The penguins of the Heard and McDonald Islands have defeated America First thanks to the shameful turncoats on the US Supreme Court and fanboys were disconsolate:

“They hate Trump so much they would destroy the country in order not to win” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit’s article on the Supreme Court’s hatred of Trump. The butthurt gets worse.

“But other countries could impose tariffs on the US, but we can’t impose tariffs on them? What kind of justices do we have in the Supreme Court?” – Top comment on the Daily Caller’s article. Whoa, big if true. Maybe someone should get the Supreme Court to outlaw other countries’ tariffs.

“They’re never gonna let us have our country back. Not Congress, not courts, not the press” – Top comment on PJ Media’s article. Oh look, entitled white men posting angrily on the internet.

“How exactly does Congress act on tariffs in a manner that allows the Executive to respond in real-time to actions by hostile powers? Congress can’t (and won’t) move fast enough to catch a cold, other countries are laughing at us, knowing they can screw us over without consequence: One branch of our government sits on its hands, while another hamstrings the one branch left who was willing to stand up to them” – Top comment on Hot Air’s article. It’s almost like this asshole doesn’t believe any “national emergency” existed and is just upset that his Orange Jesus was humiliated.

“And at the fall of the Western Roman empire I can guarantee you that the politicians and rulers were so drunk on their self importance that every action they took only hastened the inevitable” – Top comment on Blaze Media’s article. It was actually accumulated lead poisoning that did them in.

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Hunter Mugabe charged with attempting to murder gardener

Deceased Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe’s troubled son Hunter Bellarmine Chatunga is in deep shit after cops in a suburb of Johannesburg, South Africa arrested him Thursday on suspicion of shooting a 23 year-old gardener employed by the Mugabe family on a property the own in the city, the Mail and Guardian reports. “Two men, aged 29 and 33, were taken in for questioning, including Mugabe, 29, who was formally arrested in connection with the incident. Police have not yet confirmed whether charges have been filed,” said Gauteng police spokesman Colonel Dimakatso Nevhuhulwi. “The motive for the shooting is unknown at this stage and investigations are underway.”

It’s not clear if Bellarmine is into crack cocaine, hookers, painting and Ukrainian energy companies.

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Jaydee uses his JD to lawsplain to Supreme subtards

“This is lawlessness from the Court, plain and simple. And its only effect will be to make it harder for the president to protect American industries and supply chain resiliency. President Trump has a wide range of other tariff powers and he will use them to defend American workers and advance this administration’s trade priorities,” continued the badly skull-width-to-height-ratioed subhuman.

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Ministry of Information urges media to remain loyal, patriotic

“On July 4, 2026, America will celebrate the 250th Anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. That revolutionary document set forth our founding principles – including Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness – and put America on a collision course with destiny.”

“Over the following centuries, the American story has defined modern history and spread freedom, opportunity, and prosperity across the globe. As America’s 250th anniversary approaches, it is important to reflect on the ideals and events that have defined our past while keeping an eye towards our country’s bright future. The White House is leading our national celebration of this historic event with the Salute to America 250 Task Force, which calls on the federal government, among others, to mark this momentous occasion. As part of this effort, I am calling on broadcasters to pledge to provide programming that promotes civic education, national pride, and our shared history,” said involuntarily celibate Minister of Information Brendan Carr in a statement on Friday.

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Orange Fuhrer claims he’s got workaround ready

“To show you how ridiculous the opinion is, the Court said that I’m not allowed to charge even $1 DOLLAR to any Country under IEEPA, I assume to protect other Countries, not the United States which they should be interested in protecting — But I am allowed to cut off any and all Trade or Business with that same Country, even imposing a Foreign Country destroying embargo, and do anything else I want to do to them – How nonsensical is that? They are saying that I have the absolute right to license, but not the right to charge a license fee. What license has ever been issued without the right to charge a fee? But now the Court has given me the unquestioned right to ban all sorts of things from coming into our Country, a much more powerful Right than many people thought we had,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday and he went on for a while…

Skipping to the end: “Therefore, effective immediately, all National Security TARIFFS, Section 232 and existing Section 301 TARIFFS, remain in place, and in full force and effect. Today I will sign an Order to impose a 10 percent GLOBAL TARIFF, under Section 122, over and above our normal TARIFFS already being charged, and we are also initiating several Section 301 and other Investigations to protect our Country from unfair Trading practices,” and here come the lawsuits.

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Ruh-roh, Trump holding live presser after Supreme Court loss

Hoooooo-boy. This might be one for the ages. His handlers no doubt have already clocked out and treating themselves to blue curacao-infused margaritas at a nearby Applebee’s. Probably nagging the bartender to either mute the TV or at least change it to ESPN 2. Anything’s better than having to watch him have a fucking epic tantrum in front of a worldwide audience after two of his Supreme Court justices just told him that his ridiculous bullshit tariffs were unlawfully imposed.

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Dems facing lawsuit because gay Trump fan can’t get laid

“Any of you feel like sueing [sic] the Dems for dividing gays? Read the personals ‘no Trumpers, if you’re Republican don’t write me !’ I think we have some class action or some case here, but I’m no lawyer! I’ve lost family and friends from all their hateful dividing and constant Trump bashing…”

“It seems like a winning case to me. It affects our free speech, and more! If we even mention our political views, we are tossed aside immediately and called Traitors! We should do something to help this narrow minded Democratic anti Trump view from being the only view of our people! Anyone agree?” writes an anonymized gay Trump supporter on a Facebook page called “Conservative Gay Singles Group” and picked up by BlueSky user Steve Jones this week.

It’s not clear which if any MAGA-aligned law firm is drafting a complaint for the aggrieved man.

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Taco Bell bets “street” a the right adjective to add to new product

“Taco Bell’s Chicken Bacon Ranch Street Chalupas reimagine the ultimate comfort trifecta with street‑style energy – a hit of nostalgia that’s anything but rehashed. Giving Chicken Bacon Ranch the full Taco Bell treatment, it tucks slow-roasted chicken, crispy bacon, and creamy avocado ranch into a toasted cheddar Street Chalupa shell, delivering a crave-crushing street taco built on a flavor pairing that needs no introduction,” says a Taco Bell press release issued Thursday.

“Known for reinventing familiar flavors through unexpected formats, Taco Bell pairs the beloved Chicken Bacon Ranch combo with one of its best-selling innovations, Cheesy Street Chalupas, a format that cements its cult following with every return. The result: comfort food nostalgia, with a bold, modern twist that only Taco Bell could deliver,” the release continued emphasizing the “street” aspect that seems kind of dicey at best. Possibly even within range of “bus station restroom floor chaulpas.” They really think this play for “authenticity” is the right call given their reputation?

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Republicans hold 34 to 25 percent lead over Dems as party more likely to try to rig midterm elections: Yahoo News/YouGov poll

A new national Yahoo News/YouGov survey finds Republicans with a sizable 34 to 25 percent lead over Dems among overall respondents on the question of “Who do you think is more likely to try to rig November’s midterm elections?” with another 17 percent unsure which party would rig it. The remaining 23 percent had said either no or not sure to the previous question of whether the midterms would be rigged. On that question, at 35 percent each, more Dem and Independent respondents than Republicans, 27 percent, expect fuckery before, during, or after the big day.

Also matched down in the crosstabs was the 63 percent of Dem respondents who think Republicans are more likely to try to rig the elections and the same percentage of self-identified “MAGA Supporters” who think Democrats will attempt it. Twice as many Republican respondents, 12 percent, think their own party will rig the contests, than Dem respondents said the same. Shame that YouGov didn’t drill down further and ask those partisans whether they actually wanted their respective parties to cheat, even though you can probably already guess who wants it more.

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“Backup plan”

It wasn’t caught on camera because convicted felon President Trump kicked reporters out of the room where he’s hosting the nation’s governors for the annual breakfast meeting, but someone leaked to CNN’s Kaitlan Collins that the fat bastard learned of his defeat at Los Supremos while speaking and called the ruling a “disgrace,” and per Collins, told the govs he has a “backup plan.”

Problem is that the majority appear to have anticipated Donald trying to find some kind of workaround with a different statute, writing “There is no exception to the major questions doctrine for emergency statutes. Nor does the fact that tariffs implicate foreign affairs render the doctrine inapplicable. The Framers gave ‘Congress alone’ the power to impose tariffs during peacetime. And the foreign affairs implications of tariffs do not make it any more likely that Congress would relinquish its tariff power through vague language, or without careful limits. Accordingly, the President must ‘point to clear congressional authorization’ to justify,” mooting any such backup.

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Senator M4M demands Congress undo Supreme Court ruling

Continued after the cutoff: “Now globalists [Jews] win, factories investments may reverse, and American workers lose again. This betrayal must be reversed and Republicans must get to work immediately on a reconciliation bill to codify the tariffs that had made our country the hottest country on earth!” and Jesus Christ what an impulsive and intemperate fucking manchild, lol.

In what freaking universe are Republicans going to want to put their names on restoring a regressive tax on American consumers that hung over them like a political albatross for nearly a year? How incompetent of a politician can one be to throw a tantrum over the end of an unpopular policy in what was already going to be a bad election year and also propose restoring it without a second thought to actually counting the votes which it would not ever have to pass? Holy shit, Moreno could actually be a worse look for Ohio voters than the guy caught sniffing his daughter or niece’s panties.

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Supreme Court nukes Trump’s tariffs

The US Supreme Court on Friday dropped the widely-expected ruling finding 6 to 3 that convicted felon President Trump’s moronic tariff regime against the Heard and McDonald Islands – not to mention pretty much every other nation and territory on the planet – was illegally implemented under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act or IEEPA. Far-right Justices Clarence Thomas, Seditious Sam Alito, and Beer-me Brett Kavanaugh dissented because they ❤️ Donald.

“IEEPA does not authorize the President to impose tariffs. The judgment in No 24–1287 is vacated, and the case is remanded with instructions to dismiss for lack of jurisdiction; the judgment in No 25–250 is affirmed,” wrote Chief Justice John Roberts in the majority opinion that might sting a little.

“The ‘Pay Back’ Numbers being quoted by the Radical Left Lunatics, who would love to see us lose on Tariffs because of how bad it would be for our Country, are much higher than those being stated by our Fake Opposition – Opposition mainly from Foreign Countries that would do anything to be allowed to charge us Tariffs without retribution. The actual Number we would have to pay back in Tariff Revenue and Investments would be in excess of $2 Trillion Dollars, and that, in itself, would be a National Security catastrophe. Those opposed to us in the United States Supreme Court are giving low Numbers so that the Court will think it is easy to get out of this terrible situation that these Anarchists and Thugs have put us into!” screamed Trump in November in just one of the very many Truth Social screeds anticipating the defeat and the expected mess of clawbacks from companies.

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House Ethics investigating Gonzales over affair with now-dead aide

The House Ethics Committee late last year quietly opened an investigation into Republican Texas Congressman Tony Gonzales over his affair with staffer Regina Ann Santos-Aviles after her September 14th suicide at her home in Uvalde, Punchbowl News reports on more bad news for Tony as that gun psycho Brandon Herrera nips at his heels with just 11 days to go before the primary.

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Mediaite leaves out panty-sniffing Ohio mayor’s party affiliation

“Wesley Dingus, the mayor of Butler, Ohio, was arraigned on Thursday after he allegedly sniffed the underwear of a teenage girl, who, according to a police report, is a ‘minor relative’ in the care of Dingus,” wrote Mediaite in a Thursday night article headlined “Mayor Wesley Dingus Charged After Allegedly Sniffing Teen Relative’s Underwear” that goes on for 237 words but not a single one of them “Republican,” the dingus’s affiliation. No “GOP,” “MAGA,” or “conservative” either.

It was on the site’s Disqus commenters to point out the VERY readily available information on the small central Buckeye State town mayor’s political party and yes, this is partially National Zero’s butthurt over the much more-trafficked outlet having gotten first to a story on this site’s beat.

Still, what the fuck? Sure, it wasn’t in the article they linked from local site RichlandSource.com and not everyone’s emotionally polluted enough to know by heart which states have readily searchable public voter records on party registration, but simply googling “Wesley Dingus party affiliation” will get you “Wesley Dingus is a Republican. He serves as the mayor of the village of Butler, Ohio, in Richland County, and won re-election to the position in November 2023” in the “AI overview” at the very top of the result page. You don’t even need to click on any of the sites returning it. Which leaves really only two options: (A) Laziness, which is possible, or (B) Mediaite was afraid of offending the MAGA trolls by accurately reporting that the fucking freak who would sniff a “minor relative” teenage girl’s panties is an elected official from their party. Either way, you’d think that a site that covers, you know, media might be able to anticipate how their audience would react to the omission of certain information. Quite a milestone on the long trail of suckery on their own terms.

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Q4 2025 GDP report crushes estimates

“Real gross domestic product (GDP) increased at an annual rate of 1.4 percent in the fourth quarter of 2025 (October, November, and December), according to the advance estimate released today by the US Bureau of Economic Analysis. In the third quarter, real GDP increased 4.4 percent. The contributors to the increase in real GDP in the fourth quarter were increases in consumer spending and investment. These movements were partly offset by decreases in government spending and exports. Imports, which are a subtraction in the calculation of GDP, decreased,” says Friday’s “GDP (Advance Estimate), 4th Quarter and Year 2025 report” by the Bureau of Economic Analysis.

Economists had expected 2.5 percent, per CNBC, so yeah it definitely crushed expectations. Guess that explains why fat tits was trying to get in front of it by blaming Dems and Jerome Powell.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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