An anonymous oil industry executive tells Politico that, as gasoline prices spike due to convicted felon President Trump’s feckless war on Iran, Regime Chief of Staff Susie Wiles is “looking under every rock for ideas on improving energy prices, especially gas prices” while Energy Secretary Chris Wright and Interior’s Doug Burgum “are getting screamed at to find some good news” and thrashing about “for announcements and messaging to counter the narrative” that fuel prices are rising.

It’s not clear why rising prices is being painted as a “narrative” and not like, you know, the actual reality in which the national average price for a gallon of regular unleaded is up 27 cents in the last week, per AAA, and has spiked by even more in some MAGA states – Iowa’s up 35 cents gallon – and in reddish-purple Georgia at an even higher 39 cent increase. That’s not biased leftist CNN and MS Now propaganda so much as shit that’s actually literally happening to voters in real time.

“The faction of the White House that would care about $80-90 oil was being silenced,” said the oil executive, adding “there were louder voices winning at the moment.” Specifically Marco Rubio and the other hawks, who told Team Let’s-not-do-shit-that-would-increase-gas-prices to pipe down.

🚨 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐬, 𝐍𝐂 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐦𝐢𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐆𝐎𝐏 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

Democrats accounted for about 52 percent of all primary ballots cast in Texas.

Link in thread. pic.twitter.com/zpJWwjqiNB

— The Epoch Times (@EpochTimes) March 5, 2026

Convicted felon President Trump has, per Punchbowl News, “quietly asked Hill Republicans if he should fire Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem,” after back-to-back crashouts in front of congressional hearings this week, specifically over the $220 million ad campaign to boost her name recognition that went to a firm owned by Trish McLaughlin’s husband.

Total douchebag Montana Senator Steve Daines officially dropped his reelection bid with the Secretary of State’s office on Wednesday, Punchbowl’s Andrew Desiderio reports.

The cocksucker dropped out minutes before the filing deadline. Minutes before that, Montana US Attorney Kurt Alme filed to run for the seat. Congressman Chuy Garcia pulled the same sandbag.

Scumbag Republican Texas Congressman Tony Gonzales on Wednesday finally admitted to having an affair with his now-deceased aide Regina Aviles prior to her tragic suicide last year.

Utah Congressman Burgess Owens on Wednesday announced he’s hanging up his Ferragamos and calling it a career, making him now the 26th House Republican to make this year in DC his last.

Source inside the Trump Regime’s Department of Justice tell the New York Times that federal prosecutors have concluded they can’t actually put together a criminal case that a grand jury would vote to indict former President Joe Biden and his aides for using the “autopen” to sign pardons and other documents as convicted felon President Trump had commanded them to do.

They tried but, well, the Times puts it solidly with the “failure to build a criminal case against Mr Biden and his aides is the latest example of its increasing inability to follow through on Mr Trump’s demands and bring indictments against those he wants to be criminally targeted.”

The upshot of course being that the fat fuck looks weak and impotent to his fans again.

“Delcy Rodríguez, who is the President of Venezuela, is doing a great job, and working with US Representatives very well. The Oil is beginning to flow, and the professionalism and dedication between both Countries is a very nice thing to see!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday. Maria Corina Machado should have no regrets. It was worth a shot – and her medal.

With the help of five Republican votes, Dems on the House Oversight Committee on Wednesday voted to subpoena dipshit Attorney General Pam Bondi to testifying about her unwillingness to hold anyone connected to Jeffrey Epstein accountable, CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reports on yet another headache for the Trump regime a fucking year after they tried to make this all go away.

Thomthing ith very wrong with the way Trump ith thpeaking thith afternoon.

Asked by a radio station whether there was any truth to Krazy Karoline’s assertion that Spain had “agreed to cooperate with the US military” on the Iran, Foreign Minister Jose Albares on Wednesday said “I can refute [that Nazi maniac]. The position of the Spanish government regarding the war in the Middle East, the bombing of Iran and the use of our bases has not changed one iota,” per the AP.

Convicted felon President Trump’s minions tell CNN they’re getting really antsy over this whole not-really-well-thought-out-in-advance war in Iran thing, with one sharing the internal strategy of “Let’s just hope something doesn’t go really wrong… Because if that happens, it’s going to be a problem.”

“It’s a political risk, no ands, ifs or buts,” the anonymous “Trump adviser” also said, fretting what’ll happen if the conflict stretches on for weeks, with CNN writing that Team Orange is pressing their dear leader to “accelerate his timeline and declare victory as soon as he credibly can.”

L-o-fucking-L at the “credibly” part. Iran could fire 1,000 missiles in a single volley, leveling every skyscraper in Dubai, killing tens of thousands, and Trump would still declare victory by saying he never really liked Dubai that much anyway. He doesn’t give a shit. Not that it wouldn’t be interesting to know what exactly these sources – if they really qualified it with “credibly” – meant by it (Also that hypothetical’s “could” is about how Trump would react and not to speak to any capability on Iran’s part. They may not have 1,000 such missiles left and who knows if they actually want to level Dubai).

“It’s very much about managing expectations,” said a GOP official on the matter of the poorly set expectations of swift victory and installation of an at least friendly-enough regime change of three days ago now being at a lower bar of mere “stability,” with the official adding that’s still “a pretty daunting task.” Another Trump adviser said “What’s going to matter to normal people is where we are three to four months from now. And as always, it’s the same: Is the price of electricity going down, are the price of groceries going down?” as though the Trump Regime wasn’t launching a directionless war that has already killed six troops to compensate for other shortcomings.

And yes, the whole Trump presidency is compensating for his small penis. You’re very astute, reader.

“The Republican Primary Race for the United States Senate in the Great State of Texas, a State I LOVE and won 3 times in Record Numbers (the HIGHEST vote ever recorded, by far!!!), cannot, for the good of the Party, and our Country, itself, be allowed to go on any longer. IT MUST STOP NOW! We have an easy to beat, Radical Left Opponent, and we have to TOTALLY FOCUS on putting him away, quickly and decisively! Both John and Ken ran great races, but not good enough.”

“Now, this one, must be PERFECT! My Endorsements within the Republican Party have been virtually insurmountable! It is such an honor to realize and say that almost everyone I Endorse WINS, and wins by a lot, especially in Texas! I will be making my Endorsement soon, and will be asking the candidate that I don’t Endorse to immediately DROP OUT OF THE RACE! Is that fair? We must win in November!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday afternoon.

Once a two-bit huckster, always a two-bit huckster who can’t stop with the gimmicks and bullshit.

Newly released bodycam footage from a November 5th, 2025 police response to the home of Old Bridge Township, New Jersey Zoning Board member Patricia Testaverde after she threatened to call ICE on a landscaping crew whose truck partially blocked her driveway while they were working in a neighbor’s yard, an threat Testaverde now tells NJ.com she didn’t really intend to follow through on.

Even though she still says “I’m the victim here. That’s the God’s honest truth” months later. “Have you ever been upset, you say things that you really don’t mean?” Testaverde, 64 and a retired NYPD officer asked, adding that she “easily” could have called DHS to have the men brutalized.

“They wouldn’t get off my front lawn,” the Karen literally fucking said to a reporter. As for the footage itself, it’s actually even more unbecoming as at one point Testaverde got on the phone with a town elected official named Anita Greenberg-Belli, another pro-ICE suburban female d-bag, whilst the two local cops conferred out of earshot, talking about just “letting her vent, I don’t know.” Testaverde then stomped up to them, demanding one of the cops speak with Greenberg-Belli. “You don’t have to shove the phone in my mouth,” the officer said, to which Testaverde snapped and called him “fucking nasty” and then, “When you were still running down your father’s leg, I was a 9/11 police sergeant. Please. Give me a fucking break.” NJ.com reports she still feels that way about the cop.

In the linked article dated January 28th, four days after Alex Pretti was shot to death on the street in Minneapolis, Greenberg-Belli, a Middlesex County Councilwoman, is quoted as saying “When you’re calling [ICE agents] Nazis, that just shows ignorance to me. That’s despicable. It is heart-wrenching to me, knowing what went on in World War II, with all the people that were slaughtered there. These people have a choice to go home to their countries of origin,” during the previous day’s public forum.

Senate Majority Leader John Thune on Wednesday excitedly told reporters that if “Trump endorses [Senator John Cornyn] early, it saves everybody a lot of money, and… 10 weeks of a spirited campaign on our side that keeps us from spending time focusing on the Democrats.”

“Thune and other Senate Republicans have been trying to nudge Trump for months to endorse Cornyn, who acknowledged last month that he didn’t expect the president to weigh in before Tuesday night’s election,” said an actual sentence in the Politico report that quoted Thune.

“Other allies of the Texas Republican who were granted anonymity to speak candidly said his performance Tuesday means, in their view, a Trump endorsement is still a possibility,” the report on grown men hoping another grown man posts something on social media concluded.

Great timing for Kristi too as ProPublica reports she paid herself $80,000 from a PAC in 2023 – like just wrote herself a check – and didn’t disclose it on her forms, which is pretty federal crime-y.

OMG NOOO! Becky n Skyler were just unvited 2 Maddie’s glow party!! WHAT THE F💔💔K IS HAPPENING?!? 😭😭😭 u guys i tried so hard 2 get them 2 maek up after Madz saw Sky txting Derek n it wasnt anything n it was three months ago but now she suddenly tells Sky she isnt welcome at her dad’s house after she was invited! N Becks too n all she did was liek Derek’s snapchat stream when he peed on that pic of Madz 😭😭😭 PLS DONT TELL MADZ I LAUGHED WHEN I WATCHED THE PEE THING! SHES ACTING CRAZY N DEREKS EXPELLD 4 PUNCHING COACH LEE ANYWAY!!!!!

…is basically what this Reuters report headlined “Two senior Communist Party officials absent from top Chinese political event” is saying about Queen Bee Xi’s little popularity contest. Well maybe the above fictitious depiction of a girls’ chat message was a little more detailed on the knowns than what exactly prompted the catty exclusions of top PLA General Zhang Youxia and Ma Xingrui, formerly the party’s ​top official in the Xinjiang region from the 23-member Politburo at the opening of the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference but seriously what are the differences between Madz’s fabulous glow party and Xi’s fabulous glow party in terms of basic bitchery?

Just because the latter comes with all the political implications of the top leadership of a global superpower’s autocratic hegemony and the former is just some daddy’s little princess who bullies the shit out of the less popular girls in her clique by abruptly casting them out of social gatherings doesn’t mean the respective situations’ pariahs won’t be home on their beds tearfully scrolling through social media feeds of everyone having a good time without them. Can anyone seriously argue that isn’t what Xi Jingping, a grown man, wanted Zhang and Ma to suffer through?

“Pursuant to Committee Rule 7, the Chairman and Ranking Member of the Committee on Ethics (Committee) determined to release the following statement: In accordance with House Rule XI, clause 3, and Committee Rule 10(a)(2) , the Committee voted to establish an Investigative Subcommittee. Pursuant to the Committee’s action, at this time, the Investigative Subcommittee shall have jurisdiction to determine whether Representative Tony Gonzales violated the Code of Official Conduct or any law, rule, regulation, or other applicable standard of conduct in the performance of his duties or the discharge of his responsibilities, with respect to allegations that he may have: (1) engaged in sexual misconduct towards an individual employed in his congressional office; and/or (2) discriminated unfairly by dispensing special favors or privileges.”

“The Committee will announce the Members who will serve on the Investigative Subcommittee once they are selected. The Committee notes that the mere fact of establishing an Investigative Subcommittee does not itself indicate that any violation has occurred. No other public comment will be made on this matter except in accordance with Committee rules,” says a new statement from the House Ethics Committee on exactly what Gonzales needs after getting second in his primary against that Brandon Herrera maniac and heading to a runoff in 12 goddamned grueling weeks from now.