Speaking with G7 leaders and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky at the international summit in Hiroshima, Japan, President Biden on Friday endorsed a plan to begin training Ukrainian pilots on how to pew-pew Russian shitboxes with F-16 fighter jets, with additional decisions on who will provide the hardware to Kyiv to be made in the coming months, the Associated Press reports.

“A District of Columbia Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) Lieutenant was arrested today on an indictment charging that he obstructed an investigation into the December 12, 2020 destruction of a Black Lives Matter (BLM) Banner and made false and misleading statements to federal law enforcement about having done so, including that he leaked to Enrique Tarrio, the leader of ‘The Proud Boys,’ the fact that law enforcement had an arrest warrant for him related to that offense.”

“Shane Lamond, 47, of Stafford, Va, was indicted by a grand jury in the US District Court for the District of Columbia on one count of obstruction of justice and three counts of making false statements. Lamond will be arraigned today before the Honorable Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui in the US District Court for the District of Columbia. The announcement was made by US Attorney Matthew M Graves and Special Agent in Charge Wayne A Jacobs of the FBI Washington Field Office’s Criminal and Cyber Division,” says a DC Metro Police press release on the arrest of traitor cop Shane Lamond, who was already suspended in February 2022 for his betrayal of democracy.

House Oversight Chairman James Comer, a leader in the crusade to expose private citizen Hunter Biden’s finances to find some sort of malfeasance, has requested and received a 90 day extension on disclosing his own personal financial records to the Clerk of the House of Representatives.

It’s not clear if Comer made a similar request for an extension to find his “whistleblower” who was supposed to expose a pro-Biden conspiracy inside the FBI, but such a filing would have to be made with Fox Business News host Maria Bartiromo rather than any Congressional records official.

Hold on to your butts ladies and gents! The Washington Post reports Republican North Dakota Governor DOUG BURGUM is making moves to absolutely shake up the 2024 GOP presidential field!

That’s right! BURGUMANIA 2024 is almost here! Iowa and New Hampshire won’t know what hit them when Doug comes and tries to BURGLE the nomination! Millions and millions of Americans could theoretically have their political lives rocked to the core when BURGUMANIA hits ahead of 2024!

Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis has announced remote work days for her staff between July 31 and August 18 and wrote “I respectfully request that judges not schedule trials and in-person hearings during the weeks beginning Monday, Aug 7 and Monday, Aug 14,” in a recent letter to county officials and judges, in yet another very strong indicator of the timetable in which she will finally indict fat former President Trump and his minions for their late-2020, early-2021 coup attempt in the state following his humiliating defeat to Joe Biden, the New York Times reports.

“On 18 May 2023, a train derailed near Simferopol, blocking the only rail line into the port of Sevastopol, the base of Russia’s Black Sea Fleet (BSF). The railway authorities said it was a result of ‘interference by outsiders.’ Russia will move to repair the line quickly, but the incident will disrupt deliveries of supplies and potentially also weaponry, such as Kalibr cruise missiles, to the BSF. Any sabotage in this sensitive area will further increase the Kremlin’s concerns about its ability to protect other key infrastructure in Crimea. The peninsula retains a vital psychological and logistical role in enabling Russia’s war in Ukraine” says a UK Ministry of Defense Intelligence update.

Okay, so stay with me on this one:  Jeffrey Epstein, Peter Thiel and Woody Allen walk into a restaurant… which is exactly what apparently happened on Sunday, September 24th, 2014 at some restaurant in New York,  the New York Times found in a review of records of Epstein’s schedule.  The now-dead disgusting sex trafficker met at least three times with the Silicon Valley libertarian, according to the review of reminder emails sent to Epstein by his assistant.

So for the first time in my life, I’m beginning to think that whole cabal of billionaires funding child traffickers to supply the rich, powerful and influential in politics and entertainment might actually be true.  But the pizza place?  Nah. …and don’t forget to tip your waitresses.

“The political rot extends far beyond the former President of the United States that probe abortion activists, traditional Catholics.  People–moms and dads–who merely attend a Trump rally. Even angry parents; how dare they speak out about age-appropriate material being taught their kids or CRT.  How about we stick to reading, writing, math, science and computers?  But if they speak out at a school board meeting–guess what?–you speak out against Critical Race Theory, you could be scrutinized by your weaponized FBI.”

We know Sean Hannity lies; we saw the texts.  But this is a different type of irresponsible and dangerous.  The FBI investigated anti-abortion activists who bombed health clinics.  The Catholics?  Given the sex abuse scandal, maybe more investigation was needed.  Moms and dads who attend a Trump rally?  Only if they invaded the Capitol.  And feel free to voice your opinion at a school board meeting, but you step over the line when you threaten people.  That’s the kinds of terrorism and crime the FBI invests:  the kind conservatives try to excuse.

The conservative boycott of Bud Light for marketing their product to the LGBTQ community by reaching out to a transgender activist was as flat as, well, a three day old Bud Light, with parent company Anheuser-Busch InBev’s CEO saying it barely made a dent in sales.

As reported by TheStreet, CEO Michael Doukeris said on an investor call the total impact of the conservative boycott was minimal: “With respect to the current situation and the impact of Bud Light sales, it is too early to have a full view — Bud Light’s volume decline … would represent around 1% of our overall global volumes for that period.”

AB InBev‘s first quarter overall sales were up 13% in the first quarter, generating a profit of $1.3 billion, or 65¢ per share.  A one percent loss of sales would equate to a–(carry the one, calculate the square root of negative pi)–roughly 60¢ per share quarterly profit, before expected growth.

Poor, downtrodden CEO of Truck Slinky Tooth Decal Truth Social Devin Nunes just gave some unintentional happiness to the people of the second largest city in the United States as he says: “I won’t even enter Los Angeles County anymore.”

After a employee review board cleared him of wrongdoing, a Florida middle school teacher who showed his class a homemade video celebrating Confederate History Month has filed a complaint with the school saying the investigation into his action have caused tension in the workplace.

Jonathan Papanikolaou, an English arts teacher at Manatee Middle School in Collier County, showed his self-produced and -narrated video which begins, “Good morning, hurricanes. This is Mr. Papanikolaou. If you didn’t know, April is an officially celebrated month here in the State of Florida named Confederate History Month.  Every year our state celebrates and memorializes that valiant, brave fight and the countless sacrifices by our men and women during that known as the Civil War, but may be more correctly titled the War To Prevent Southern Independence.”

After the review board dismissed the complaints against him, Papanikolaou filed a complaint with the inquest “has caused [him] grief and awkwardness in classroom and school exchanges” noting “This situation has created emotional turmoil for myself.”

Democratic California Senator Dianne Feinstein suffered serious complications in her battle against shingles that kept her away from the Senate for two months, the New York Times reports.  The 89-year-old suffered from encephalitis, a swelling of the brain, a condition suffered by some shingles patients that can lead to memory loss, confusion, insomnia, and other issues–perhaps evident in Feinstein’s recent interactions with reporters where she insisted she had been active in the Senate when she had been under medical care in California.  Feinstein also contracted Ramsay Hunt Syndrome which impacts the nerves around the ears and can cause twitches, numbness and hearing loss.

Service on a line in Mexico City’s Metro system was halted Sunday when a chicken ran on the tracks at a station near the city’s center, sending workers chasing after the sneaky little clucker and attempting to catch it with a broom and a trash bag, the Associated Press reports.

Finally a worker was able to apprehend the chicken by tossing a jacket over it. Service was then quickly restored. It’s not clear if the bird was beheaded and consumed for trespassing on the tracks.

The conservative Supreme Court has put a stake in efforts to kill one of the earliest boogeymen for the MAGA conspiracy caucus, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act which protects social media companies from liability claims stemming from content posted by users, CNN reports.

In a decision released today, SCOTUS unanimously ruled social media platforms are not liable for posts users made on the site that aided terrorists, while in another, the Court declined to hear a case that would have specifically overturned Section 230 protections–an odd outcome given corrupt Justice Clarence Thomas declaring publicly last year that he sought a case that would allow conservatives to “review” (cough, cough overturn) the regulation.

Conservatives want to negate the law because it gives social media platforms wide authority to moderate content such as users’ posts, something rightwing conspiracy theorists equate to being censored by the government.  Both Republican Georgia Congresswoman and dwarf sasquatch Marjorie Taylor Greene and Republican South Carolina Senator and Trump lapdog Lindsey Graham introduced legislation to completely revoke the entire section of the Act.

Texas Senator John Cornhole tells the Dallas Morning News he’s not really feeling disgraced former President Trump’s comeback bid. It’s not because of the whole criminal indictments thing or being found liable as a sexual abuser thing or the whole racism and fascism things, but more the whole possibly going to lose badly and drag down a whole shit ton of other GOP candidates thing.

“We need to come up with an alternative. I think President Trump’s time has passed him by and what’s the most important thing to me is we have a candidate who can actually win,” said Cornhole, adding “I don’t think President Trump understands that when you run in a general election, you have to appeal to voters beyond your base. There’s no question that President Trump has some enthusiastic supporters as part of his base. That works well for him in a Republican primary, but not well when you need to expand your appeal in a general election.”

Non-Correction: The current version of this article misspelled Senator John Cornyn’s name as ‘Cornhole’ several times. National Zero does not regret the error and will not be correcting it.

In more Disney World news, the company announced on Thursday that their Star Wars-themed “immersive experience” hotel, which costs $4,809 for the two-night stay for just two guests, will be closing in September after just about two years in business, CNBC reports. DeSantis probably can’t take credit for this one considering the place opened before the whole shitshow started.

“Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser is one of our most creative projects ever and has been praised by our guests and recognized for setting a new bar for innovation and immersive entertainment. This premium, boutique experience gave us the opportunity to try new things on a smaller scale of 100 rooms, and as we prepare for its final voyage, we will take what we’ve learned to create future experiences that can reach more of our guests and fans,” the company said in a statement.

Score another huge win for “TOP GOV” DeSantis! Communist Disney on Thursday announced they’re pulling a billion in dirty investment money and 2,000 Marxist jobs from a planned development in the Orlando area, the New York Times reports on a liberal surrender in the state where woke goes to die.

“I remain optimistic about the direction of our Walt Disney World business,” said Disney theme parks and consumer products exec Josh D’Amaro in a memo announcing the defeat for his plans to spread more diversity and understanding in the Sunshine State. He probably then ran to his cry closet.

“4thePURE is an online community where health-conscious individuals who have rejected the COVID-19 vaccine can connect and find everything they need — friendships, dating, curated news, service providers, doctors, blood donors, fertility options, jobs, shopping, events, etc – with an endgame of supporting one another, preserving the gene pool and growing a community of the free,” says the marketing copy on 4thePURE.com, which costs $2,500 to join.

Or $1,875 if you become a “founding member” before the product is even fully launched, before you know the quality of the non-COVID vaxxed sperm available on the site’s donor marketplace.

The Black unemployment rate sank to 4.7 percent in April 2023, the lowest level ever since the Bureau of Labor Statistics started reporting job rates by ethnicity in 1970, The Wall Street Journal reports, even headlinng it with “Job Prospects for Black Workers Have Never Been Better – In Ways That Might Last… Tight market means better-paying, more-stable occupations that could provide resilience in potential recession,” optimism uncharacteristic of a Murdoch-owned media outlet.

So if African-American unemployment is now at the lowest number in history, median income the highest, and you then add all of the other things I have done, how do Democrats, who have done NOTHING for African-Americans but TALK, win the Black Vote? And it will only get better!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 30, 2018

Of course we could’ve just written “Black unemployment sank to lowest level ever in April 2023” and left it at the first paragraph without crediting Biden or adding that Trump tweet, leaving it to our readers to bring it up. But he and his fanboys started this lame attempt to hold up as an excuse for their blatant racism, so it’d be malpractice not to respond in kind. Besides serving as second-in-command to the first ever Black president, elevating the first ever Black woman to Vice President, nominating the first ever Black woman to the Supreme Court, nominating the first ever Black Secretary of Defense, hiring the first ever Black White House Press Secretary, signing all sorts of legislation and executive orders to benefit African Americans, it’s safe to say (again) that on top of all of that, in the one actually quantifiable way that Trump claimed he was the greatest president ever for Blacks, Joe Biden has now bested him. Orange lives don’t matter here.