Defense Department: “Today, the Department of Defense (DoD) announced a new security assistance package to reaffirm the steadfast US support for Ukraine, including to bolster its air defenses and sustain its artillery ammunition needs. This package, which totals up to $1.2 billion, is being provided under the Ukraine Security Assistance Initiative (USAI). This USAI package underscores the continued US commitment to meeting Ukraine’s most urgent requirements by committing critical near-term capabilities, such as air defense systems and munitions, while also building the capacity of Ukraine’s Armed Forces to defend its territory and deter Russian aggression over the long term. This includes committing additional 155mm artillery rounds and sustainment support to enable Ukraine to better maintain its on-hand systems and equipment.”

“Unlike Presidential Drawdown authority (PDA), which DoD has continued to leverage to deliver equipment to Ukraine from DoD stocks at a historic pace, USAI is an authority under which the United States procures capabilities from industry or partners. This announcement represents the beginning of a contracting process to provide additional priority capabilities to Ukraine.”

A union representing over 75,000 federal government employees on Monday filed a lawsuit against President Joe Biden and Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen over the debt limit, seeking an injunction preventing the government from defaulting on its debts and thus preemptive relief from furloughs and layoffs that would obviously result from such a clusterfuck, Huffington Post reports.

Upon being served with the lawsuit, Biden and Yellen did not scream “Oh my God, please don’t sue us and get a court to unilaterally abolish the federal debt ceiling, we were so looking forward to haggling with Kevin McCarthy and Mitch McConnell because those guys are such honest brokers who don’t have any ulterior motives in trying to collapse the national economy in order to help get that fat orange fuck reelected next year,” but we would have to imagine that they didn’t.

Absolute champ Dem Congressman Jamie Raskin tells Axios he’s still personally “absolute tossup” on whether he’ll throw in for the primary to replace retiring Maryland Senator Ben Cardin.

“As the ranking Democrat on Oversight I’m deeply invested in the work of the committee,” Raskin said “Now, and when we take the House back in 2024, we will have very important work going on. So I will have to weigh that against my interest in the Senate.” Raskin added that because Trump is very likely to be the GOP nominee, he has to “contemplate where my energies are best expended in the 2024 field,” meaning he thinks he might be more useful at fucking up Trump than running for Senate. Rare is the politician who puts public interest ahead of personal ambition.

A 14-year-old neighborhood girl who hid in bushes outside his home while playing hide-and-seek with friends Sunday was shot in the back of the head by a fearful Louisiana man irrationally dependent on a gun for his perceived safety, WWL CBS-4 in New Orleans reports.  The girl did not sustain life-threatening injuries in the latest episode of paranoid white men shooting people on their property for innocent reasons or by mistake.

David Doyle, a 58-year-old man from Sparks, Louisiana–literally abutting the Texas border–told police he saw movement in bushes on his property and people running away when he opened fire at the group, striking the unnamed girl in the back of the head.   Doyle is charged with aggravated battery, four counts of aggravated assault with a firearm and illegal discharge of a firearm.

Well actually maybe where the fat bastard claims he was “not allowed to speak or defend” himself is not directed at the court, but at his lawyer Joe Tacopina, who definitely did whatever he could to prevent his deranged client from testifying. So maybe it’s the damage-control advice of counsel is what Donald’s complaining about here rather than some vague sinister “rigging” of the trial by the judge and the Deep State Democrats and all that other bullshit. Maybe. We’re not being too fair here if we

Also, why the fuck would he appeal “no matter the outcome” if the jury finds in his favor?

Cops in the northwestern Chinese province of Gansu announced Monday the arrest of a man who admitted he was using ChatGPT to generate fake news stories, Semafor reports.

The investigation began when ChiCom thought police noticed a story circulating falsely claiming that nine people had been killed in a train accident and traced it back to the man, identified only as “Hong” – which is kind of lame considering he could have used it to generate Xi-Winnie the Pooh crossover fan fiction stories or something else actually entertaining and subversive.

For a guy who claims he has evidence of impeachable offenses by President Biden, Missouri MAGA Congressman Mark Alford seems awfully worried the mainstream media is just going to ignore it. Maybe, just maybe, they should stop hyping it and fucking tell us what it is already.

Give that all of their modern, not-so modern, and fucking decrepit armored units are on the battlefield in one or more pieces across Ukraine, the Putin Regime’s parade celebrating the USSR’s victory over Nazi Germany in 1945 was limited to just one tank unit, CNN reports.

Appropriately, the tank was a World War II-era T-34. There was also no Air Force flyover and Putin limited his speech to just 11 minutes – all of it a far cry from the triumphal displays of the past.

EXCLUSIVE: @MELANIATRUMP opens up about her thoughts on Trump's re-election campaign, plans for the future. https://t.co/dYF6ynsyxk pic.twitter.com/jGmSzbcKEH

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 9, 2023

“Recent investigative reporting has identified multiple instances in which you or entities you own or control have made payments, purchased real estate, or provided gifts, travel, or other items of value to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and members of his family. Many of these gifts, transactions, and items of value had not been previously disclosed by Justice Thomas, in apparent contravention of the Supreme Court’s April 25, 2023 ‘Statement on Ethics Principles and Practices’ which claimed that Justices since 1991 ‘have followed’ the financial disclosure requirements provided in the Judicial Conference Regulations, and other applicable obligations.”

“You have issued several public statements acknowledging these items of value that you have given to Justice Thomas and his family members. As part of the Senate Judiciary Committee’s ongoing efforts to craft legislation strengthening the ethical rules and standards that apply to the Justices of the Supreme Court, we request that you provide the Committee with certain information by May 22, 2023. This information will help identify specific shortcomings in the ‘Statement on Ethics Principles and Practices,’ as well as current law, that legislation needs to address,” write Senate Judiciary Committee leadership in a not-so friendly letter to right wing extremist Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas’s very generous sugar daddy, MAGA billionaire Harlan Crow.

Better late than never after Chief Justice Roberts fucked off on testifying in a hearing.

Pakistani cops arrested former Prime Minister Imran Khan on corruption charges as he showed up to court in Islamabad on Tuesday for two hearings in unrelated cases, Dawn reports.

Khan, chief of the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf Party who was ousted in a no-confidence vote by Parliament in April 2022, has been under multiple criminal investigations in what’s probably a mix of actual illegal scams and politically-motivated made-up bullshit since his ouster, with his previous arrest coming in March. This new run-in with the law stems from some real estate scam called the “Al-Qadir Trust” alleging that Khan and his wife collected billions of rupees in bribes.

Dawn’s report goes out of its way to mention that “Imran was not tortured,” according to the Pakistani Interior Minister Rana Sanaullah, which would seem to indicate that torture is a regular part of the criminal booking process there along with a mugshot and a phone call to a lawyer.

Invasions are a totally new and unprecedented thing that never happened before except when the Germans invaded France, Poland, Russia, Italy, Belgium, Norway, the Netherlands, Russia, North Africa, and other countries, when the Goths invaded Rome, when the Huns invaded Europe, when the Mongols invaded everywhere, when the Ottomans invaded the Balkans, when Alexander the Great invaded Egypt, when America invaded Mexico, the Philippines, Vietnam, Okinawa, Iraq, Afghanistan, Cuba, Germany, Italy, France, Canada, Hawaii, Grenada, Haiti, Tripoli, Laos, the Dominican Republic, China, Puerto Rico, Guam, Guadalcanal, and we could go on for a while here.

The Arizona state Bar Association on Monday acted on complaints and opened confidential ethics investigations into former Attorney General Mark Brnovich, former Assistant Attorney General Jen Wright, and failed MAGA gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake’s lawyer Kurt Olsen, likely for their post-2020 and post-2022 election batshittery, KTAR legal analyst Barry Markson reports.

Markson and KPNX political reporter Brahm Reznik describe the “charges” as “election-related” but don’t provide any further details, with Reznik writing “Info not public.” It’s not hard to guess with Olsen given the repeated sanctions levied against Lake’s legal team for vexatiousness, but Brnovich and his deputy Wright we’re not sure where they might’ve crossed a line with the Bar Association. Maybe it was threatening to withhold state funds from Maricopa County over the stupid “routers” during the Cyber Ninjas “audit” shitshow or hiding reports from the public contradicting his bullshit stories about voter fraud in the 2020 election, but those scams would seem far more like political than legal professional misconduct. Here’s hoping the inquiry goes further so we can learn more.

The Walt Disney Company on Monday expanded its lawsuit against the DeSantis Regime to incorporate new material proving its case of undue political retaliation such as the insane monorail inspection legislation and the bill overturning its control of its district, the AP reports .

Only dumb white people would believe that a Mexican gang member is killing people for white supremacy. https://t.co/xBbyKJ3wFu

— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) May 9, 2023

From the Associated Press:  “Garcia’s online activity also betrayed a fascination with white supremacy and mass shootings, which he described as sport. Photos he posted showed large Nazi tattoos on his arm and torso, including a swastika and the SS lightning bolt logo of Hitler’s paramilitary forces.”

The company that revolutionized America’s online retail experience is now realizing how expensive its customer service promises can be:  According to Reuters, Amazon is paying some customers $10 to pick up a purchase at a common pick-up site rather than get home delivery.  The e-tail giant is also instituting a fee for some returns dropped off at a UPS store rather than a closer common site like a Whole Foods, Amazon Fresh or Kohl’s store.   The changes come as Amazon tries to cut down on increasing delivery and returns costs as customer demand ebbs.

Rescuers on Monday found an 8-year-old boy who braved two nights in the elements in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan after getting lost while gathering firewood on a family camping trip in a state park, NBC News reports.

Nante Niemi, a Wisconsin second-grader, was found two miles from the family’s campsite at Porcupine Mountain Wilderness State Park in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.  Temperatures dropped into the mid-40s over the last two nights, with Nante staying warm by constructing a shelter under a section of fallen tree.

Less than a week after rejoining the Ye [nee Kanye West] 2024 campaign, Milo Yiannopoulos was accused in the campaign treasurer’s resignation letter of already violating campaign finance laws, Politico reports.

Patrick Krason–who was brought on to the YE2024 pre-official campaign after Yiannopoulos left following a series of disastrous public appearances by the rapper-turned-clothing designer-turned politician which included media appearances where Ye made anti-Semitic comments–reportedly recently earned of a “potentially serious criminal transaction,” saying Yiannopoulos “submitted falsified invoices and for expenditures that would be deemed unlawful” in November 2022 for something regarding the artist’s comical 2020 campaign.  Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s former intern denies the allegations.

FEC records show the campaign paid $40,000 to Yiannopoulos in December 2022 for “campaign wrap-up services,” after paying him $10,000 per month for a “domain transfer.”

Democratic donors are working to recruit former NBA stars Grant Hill or Dwayne Wade to challenge white collar criminal Senator Rick Scott in 2024, NBC News reports on what would be fucking hilarious if it worked after Herschel Walker crashed and burned so badly in Georgia last year.

There’s a little boy in Texas who just turned 6 last week. He was at the mall with his 3 year-old brother and parents on Saturday. Maybe they planned to buy him a new bike or a video game console for a gift, have a dinner at a family-friendly restaurant and then some ice cream afterwards. The usual stuff for an innocent child who’s supposed to grow up with their love and support, completely unburdened by the savagery of right wing nationalism and gun culture. He’s never going to have his parents break up a fight with his little brother over their Pokemon toys or the affections of a girl they both like when they’re teenagers. He’s never going to talk to them again.

The GoFundMe page for 6 year-old William Cho is gut-wrenching nausea only tempered by all the good souls out there have having kicked in more than 14 times the original $50,000 goal and counting only six hours since launch. We can only hope the families of the other victims are seeing similar numbers. It need not be said that GoFundMe drives shouldn’t even be necessary in the first place given that sick fuck shouldn’t have been allowed to own an AR-15. What else are we going to write here that hasn’t already been written about Texas being a place where human life is cheap?