(UPDATE 12:20 p.m. ET): The stealth takeover of the Executive Branch has either been exceptionally stealth or non-existent. No speech. No fireworks. No moving van taking Bidens’ stuff out of the residence. Just an elderly man with hair dye running off his scalp sobbing quietly on Pennsylvania Avenue. (He must be a mental patient because his handler is referring to him as “Mr. Mayor.”) NatZero intrepid reporter signing off.
(UPDATE 12:13 p.m. ET): Delusional Joe Biden still believes he will finish the day as POTUS, takes one last opportunity to use official POTUS Twitter account.
There are just a few days left until the special enrollment period for health insurance comes to a close. Don’t wait until the last minute — head to https://t.co/gRX1fGFEzj to get covered today. pic.twitter.com/8cYUA3XlLl
— President Biden (@POTUS) August 13, 2021
(UPDATE 12:10 p.m. ET): Typically the time when the newly inaugurated installed president would be giving a speech, there is no sign of a dias or podium. The assembled crowd (of one) murmurs that Trump could simply release his speech via Kit Harrington on Twitter, however Twitter alerts are silent.
(UPDATE 12:03 p.m. ET): Intrepid reporters at Mar-a-Lago and Bedminster state that planned celebrations at Trump properties are silent. People openly wonder if the low-key celebration is intentional given the spike of coronavirus deaths across the United States, an idea quickly dismissed given we’re dealing with Donald Trump. Staff seem confused at both locations.
(UPDATE 12:00 noon ET): What appeared to be Mike Lindell was actually a pizza delivery guy being food to the OEOB. But then, maybe that’s Lindell’s new gig.
(UPDATE 11:57 a.m. ET): An unverified sighting of Melania Trump at the Capitol turned out to be from a nearsighted person who saw the statue of Susan B. Anthony in the distance.
(UPDATE 11:55 a.m. ET): A pigeon flies over the Capitol steps and pooped mid-flight, landing on no one. Such is the palpable excitement of the assembled… um… crowd?
(UPDATE 11:50 a.m. ET): A remarkably low-key-for-Trump ceremony must be in the works. There are no grandstands. No motorcades have driven through the streets. And no streets are closed off in the nation’s capital in preparation for the Trump reinstallation. A middle-aged white male, draped in a Trump 2024 flag, wanders around the National Mall asking random strangers where the ceremony will take place. Police tell him he needs to move on, and he takes his shopping cart and leaves.
(Original post) Join your fellow NatZero denizens to watch the re-installation ceremony for Donald J. Trump as he re-takes the oath of office for his delayed second term of his presidency, profitized prophesied by the Foam Futurist and recovering crack addict Mike Lindell.
It is currently unclear who is scheduled to perform during the ceremony because no singers have announced their appearances at the fete, so it will be a surprise to everyone. Keeping with the increased secrecy (for obvious security issues), no law enforcement is on scene, and even Melania Trump has maintained her low profile by not being seen in public in more than a month.
The National Zero DC correspondent will provide live updates of the event from the comfort of his couch 30 miles from downtown Washington. The incidents related may or may not be accurate.