Categories
Uncategorized

The One With Trump Ranting on Hannity, Not Making Sense

As a service to our NatZero readers, we listened to Trump’s rant on Hannity so you don’t have to.  In this rant, which was done without a break–and please note were not transcribing Trump’s most inane passages–Trump says he really, really wanted to get out of Afghanistan, and that he would’ve done a great withdrawal–like no one has ever seen before!–and the withdrawal would have been one for historians.  And he would have withdrawn all the troops… but yet somehow kept Bagram Air Base under US control even though there would be no troops there.  So… enjoy (?).

“We went into the Middle East [Trump is referring to Afghanistan as “the Middle East.”  It’s not.]  and we shouldn’t have been there and we blew it to pieces and now we’re leaving and because of what they’re doing we’re leaving in disgrace.  We could’ve left with great dignity.  We could’ve left with safety,” Trump says, apparently unaware that he occupied the Oval Office at one time, where he could’ve overseen a withdrawal with “dignity” and “safety.”

“We could’ve taken everybody with us that we wanted, all of the great American citizens and people that helped us, whether it’s interpreters or others.  But we could’ve taken ’em out very easily and we wouldn’t have had a rush because the Taliban was not going anywhere,” Trump claims, although his administration limited the number of Significant Interest Visas (SIVs) to an average of just 50 per month in the last ten months of his administration.

“We had them totally under control,” Trump claims.  “Everytime we saw movement, we hit ’em with an F-18, and the movement stopped.  But we had very little of that, because Abdul, who I spoke to, who turns out to be the leader [Abdul Ghani Baradar is the political leader of the Taliban.  Trump demanded that he be released from a Pakistani prison in 2019.  Trump negotiated a secret deal with Ghani in 2020 to withdraw all US troops.], Abdul, who was the leader, would not let anyone do anything, and I can tell you what happened, in my opinion.  [So, not what happened, just what Trump wants people to believe happened.]  [… Trump’s story cut… ]”

“It’s about the withdrawal.  It’s not about getting out, because getting out is something I wanted to do for a LONG time,” Trump claim, again unaware that he knows someone who could’ve done that between 2017 and 2020.  “And they’re right when they say a lot of generals di–we have, by the way, we have great generals in our military, but not the television generals, not the guys you see on television.  You look at what I did with ISIS and how we beat ’em [ISIS has claimed responsibility for today’s attacks at Kabul airport.], we beat them with great generals.  We had great, great leadership.  We have the greatest military in the world, but we look at a bunch of fools.”  [… editing …]

“But I wanted to get out, but we had to get out with dignity,” Trump continues.  “We had to take out 80 billion dollars’ worth of equipment.  We had to do all of the things that you know we had to do.  [Just a reminder:  Trump didn’t do any of it.]  And then I would’ve blowed up [sic] all the air bases but I would’ve kept Bagram because Bagram’s located right next to China, right near China [It’s not.], and Iran [Bagram is on the other side of Afghanistan from Iran.], and it’s in Afghanistan [Wow, he got that right.] so we had the whole group covered.  They spent ten billion dollars building it [Bagram Air Base has been around since the 1950s.] and we handed out the keys.  It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

K$H fired agents assigned to anti-Iran unit

14 minutes ago

“Fortunately, we have President Hegseth”

46 minutes ago

Extremely awful-looking lesion appears on Trump’s neck

1 hour ago

Russian pal of Ghislaine Maxwell found unalived in Moscow

2 hours ago

Orange Warlord holds Medal of Honor ceremony: Live video

3 hours ago

Texas firefighters save balloonists snagged on 900 ft cell tower

3 hours ago

The “big wave is yet to come” in Iran: Trump

4 hours ago

Honor our troops by not asking questions

4 hours ago

Stocks tumble at open while oil is HOT HOT HOT!!!

5 hours ago

Air Force moves US aircraft out of Moron Airbase in Spain

5 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Hegseth briefs media on all the Muslims that got exploded when they dropped a shit ton of fucking bombs on Iran

6 hours ago

Arizona MAGA teen threatened to massacre Latino classmates

6 hours ago

Fourth US service member KIA

7 hours ago

Xaykham Khamsyvoravong launches primary bid against incumbent Dem Rhode Island Lt Governor Sabina Matos

7 hours ago

Kuwaiti air defenses prove effective against American F-15s

8 hours ago

House GOP hoping voters take care of Tony Gonzales

8 hours ago

US embassy in Kuwait hit with Iranian missile

10 hours ago

Look, it feels like Iran has killed thousands of Americans

17 hours ago

Darwin awarded

18 hours ago

Crude oil up 8.65 percent, Dow futures down 534 points on spike

19 hours ago

“Sadly, there will likely be more before it ends”

22 hours ago

Some of you may die, but it’s a risk Trump is willing to take

23 hours ago

Three US troops KIA so far in region: Live update Sunday

1 day ago

Former Iranian President Mahmoud Amhadinejad killed in strike

1 day ago

Washington state AI’s “Spanish” option just English with an accent

1 day ago

IDF celebrates pew-peweing middle manager

1 day ago

Orange Ayatollah celebrates regular Ayatollah’s demise

2 days ago

Ayatollah confirmed dead: Israelis

2 days ago

Thank you for your attention to this matter

2 days ago

Israeli intel thinks Ayatollah dead

2 days ago

Presidential address canceled

2 days ago

Tulsi should probably delete this

2 days ago

“All I want is freedom for the people”

2 days ago

K$H greatly angered his Orange Messiah over Milan trip

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Demented old slob rants at Texas “energy” rally

3 days ago

Orange Baby freaks out at tech CEO’s refusal to supplicate to him

3 days ago

Islamabad claims 297 Taliban dead in so far in war

3 days ago

Fox News catches Energy Secretary drawing solar power

3 days ago

DHS announces plan to build gulags in flood-prone areas

3 days ago

Marketing wizard commands his thrall to rebrand their vaporware

3 days ago

Fat Hitler claims he’s “exonerated,” wants to “take over” Cuba, etc

3 days ago

NOS-huffing maniac wanted in Pennsylvania for torching house to kill phantom spider swarm cuffed by NYPD after crashing U-Haul

3 days ago

NASA adds a second Artemis Lunar test mission

3 days ago

Suppose it was only a matter of time…

3 days ago

Colombian pro-Trump party lawmaker’s son finally deported

3 days ago

Mike Johnson says Republican’s health situation may be “terminal”

3 days ago

Cabinet secretary’s wife says Trump “too cozy” with commie tyrant

3 days ago

House schedules grueling two-day workweek in DC

3 days ago

Wholesale price index crushes expectations in January

3 days ago

Ivanka’s backup somehow significantly more unqualified for job

3 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x