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McDonald’s CEO admits they overdid the whole “gouging people for shitty food and blaming it on inflation” bit, vows to work on that

McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski on Monday admitted to investors that they should probably stop overcharging for shitty food as it kind of backfired and people aren’t eating there as much as they used to when a goddamned McChicken sandwich cost what it’s actually supposed to, CNBC reports.

“We recognize that in several large markets, including the US, we have an opportunity to improve our value execution. Consumers still recognize us as the value leader versus our key competitors but it’s clear that our value leadership gap has recently shrunk. We are working to fix that with pace,” said Kempczinski and if you read not very carefully he said the same thing we just wrote.

“At the end of the day, we expect customers will continue to feel the pinch of the economy and a higher cost of living for at least the next several quarters in this very competitive landscape. So we believe it is critical for us to consider these factors in order to grow market share, and return to sustainable guest count-led growth for the brand,” said McDonald’s USA President Joe Ehrlinger and holy shit what the hell do they need all the extra words? Can’t they just talk normally?

“The point is, we know how to do this. We wrote the playbook on value and we are working with our franchisees to make the necessary adjustments,” Kempczinski continued. And if you’re waiting for the part of the earnings call where they actually said something like “We’re telling our franchisees they can suck a fat, furry, purple Grimace tip if they don’t like it, but Big Macs are capped at $3.99 each nationally until further notice. Deal with it,” then you can go bobbing for nuggets in the fryer.

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