“From crafting pixel-perfect replicas of our Golden Arches and world-famous menu items, to stacking block upon block into full-on restaurants, fans have been building their love for McDonald’s into Minecraft for years. Now, inspired by their imagination – and the global big screen adventure, A Minecraft Movie, debuting in theaters April 4 – we’re bringing the game’s cinematic world to McDonald’s. Introducing, A Minecraft Movie Meal and A Minecraft Movie Happy Meal, dropping together for the first time ever at McDonald’s restaurants nationwide,” McDonald’s announced Thursday in a triumphal press release celebrating the new marketing partnership.

“Starting April 1, for a limited time, McDonald’s is entering the portal for an epic collaboration, and the meals are only the beginning. Fans can also take their creativity to the next level with access to digital experiences, custom-designed collectibles and much more – only at McDonald’s. Build Your World…And Your Meal: A Minecraft Movie Meal features your choice of a Big Mac® or 10-pc Chicken McNuggets® plus medium fries and a drink, and a limited-edition collectible. Fans who enjoy the 10-pc Chicken McNuggets Meal also get to spice things up with Nether Flame Sauce – a limited-edition hot sauce inspired by The Nether – with crushed red pepper and flaming cayenne, balanced with hints of garlic and sweetness. Fans who want an extra kick can also add the sauce to their favorite McDonald’s order,” the release continued. See, “The Nether” is a hellish alternate dimension in the Minecraft game world that can only be accessed by special portals and it’s populated by these weird anthropomorphic pigs that are friendly if you’re wearing an armor component made of gold…

Jesus Christ this is pretty fucking hard to come up with something, anything, to use for an article that isn’t somehow related to fat rapey orange racist you-know-who and pasty pale ketamine addicted hair plugs fucks random women with the specific intent of impregnating them you-know-who. So what if it’s basically a free, non-payola ad for McMinecraft movie something? Fuck.