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Team Orange tells donors they’re counting on Supreme Court for midterms help and other grim GOP tales Axios printed week

If, before Tuesday, you were one of the likely tens, maybe dozens, of hardcore MAGA voters who reads Axios regularly it’s hard to see how you’re still on board on Saturday as you were not at all reading what you wanted to be reading from them. This week was bad, very bad, and bad in an array of unique ways requiring a roundup summary to fully capture this December of GOP sadness:

Start with this list of bullet points literally headlined “Scoop: Trump aides bullish on Supreme Court boosting GOP in midterms,” from Tuesday in which two of convicted felon President Trump’s top minions, former 2024 campaign manager Chris LaCivita and pollster Tony Fabrizio, told the audience at an RNC donor retreat in New Orleans last weekend that rulings “on political contribution limits and congressional redistricting could be transformational for Republicans – if they go the GOP’s way” as their hard sell to get the donors to write the party some big checks to cover their 2026 bills.

First off, lol at an Axios article reporting what was said at an RNC donor retreat. Way to make sure that the marginally poorer GOP donors who weren’t invited to the bacchanal got the memo on the strategy. Then there’s that the memo itself is “the Supreme Court could come though for us big on these rulings,” and not like, “the White House and Congressional GOP have this bold new plan to address voter concerns about the economy and cost of living, so this is worth your investment to help us maintain the majorities,” or even just “Hey, we’re focus grouping the best propaganda campaign ever, it blows the doors off of caravans, rainbow fentanyl in Halloween candy, and trans kids playing girls’ sports. Spoiler alert: SOROS is the main villain. MAGA voters HATE Soros!”

Next there’s the anticipated rulings themselves: What the hell gerrymandering decision are they counting on besides the potential VRA overturn opening the door to killing something like 10 to 12 Black-majority districts in the Deep South? Even if it is gutted it’s extremely unlikely to come in time for the 2026 midterms. Beyond that the court already this month strongly hinted the country’s a free-fire zone on partisan redistricting going forward in the ruling greenlighting Texas’s MAGA gerrymander and won’t block the ones favoring Dems, mainly California’s Proposition 50.

Of course this Supreme Court could find a way to engineer a reason to block the California gerrymander and others in the works in Blue States, but the key word there is “could.” Then there’s that since this article was printed the Indiana state Senate told Trump to get fucked on handing them two more safe red districts. Probably not a good idea to rely on Los Supremos to somehow order those state Senators to vote yes. As for the surer bet in the “political contribution limits” case, well, the six MAGA justices making it easier for these donors to throw more money at the party does what when all the above is Fabrizio and LaCivita’s pitch for them to throw more money at the party.

It’s like if Melania Trump made an exciting announcement that you can now use your crypto wallet to buy more of her NFTs, just in time for her new 2025 holiday-themed collection of digital trading cards… Well actually that’s kind of realistic. And far easier to imagine than Fabrizio and LaCivita selling donors on a plan for the Trump Regime and their supplicants in the Congressional GOP getting their shit together and actually governing to the benefit of those whose votes they seek.

Next up, you shouldn’t scroll past this Axios graphic too fast…

Really should’ve put more of the hand in there. Or used a stock image with a glove. Or something else entirely to illustrate this boner of a Thursday story in which Candace Owens told the bullet-point factory that “The MAGA movement died when we were gaslit and then attacked over the Epstein files. Blaming content creators or the very people who voted for Trump for having an appropriate reaction to the perceived protection of billionaire pedophiles is beyond ridiculous,” when asked to comment on her batshit conspiracy theories about Charlie Kirk getting assassinated by a French/Israeli commando team. That one got top billing on the other conflicts mentioned to support the thesis that “MAGA’s media machine is ripping itself to shreds, locked in a web of interpersonal feuds that have derailed its once-relentless focus on advancing President Trump’s agenda.”

So there’s Owens vs TurningPoint USA over that one, Owens vs incel Tim Pool for the same reason, and then there’s “Milo Yiannopoulos vs Benny Johnson” for which Axios writes “Yiannopoulos, a longtime provocateur overshadowed in recent years by newer right-wing voices, made personal attacks on Johnson, who threatened to sue, posting on X: ‘I am duty-bound to take action to protect my family against those who maliciously defame and attack us.’ Yiannopoulos gleefully welcomed the suit. Johnson didn’t reply to a request for comment,” but skipped the content of Milo’s attacks.

Axios could’ve at least linked a story like “Did Benny Johnson write ‘Like Butt Stuff’ article on BuzzFeed? Viral post explored amid Milo Yiannopoulos’ ‘gay’ claim” instead of being all ambiguous about why the two are at odds these days and why George Santos was the voice of reason.

Maybe just a brief mention of the time when Benny complained that Google Adsense used his browsing history to inform him about products and services that were potentially of interest to him:

Anyway, if you missed that one Axios followed up on Friday, headlining it “‘Cacophony of grifters’: MAGA infighting erodes real-world power,” warning that “MAGA’s grassroots strength lies in its ability to rally influencers, politicians and activists behind a hard-charging conservative agenda. That superpower is faltering amid a cascade of bitter personal feuds,” and quoting from some D-list MAGA influencers on the rampant dysfunction of their more successful brethren.

“In recent weeks, the political discourse in this country has been indistinguishable from an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta,” low-wattage star CJ Pearson told Axios, adding “I think the movement is wholly consumed right now on personality clashes. That is a recipe for electoral doom, and it’s unfortunate to see the unity that we saw after Charlie [Kirk]’s death dissipate so quickly.”

“I couldn’t tell you any bills that are making their way through Congress right now without going to the website and looking because the infighting is too loud, and I think that’s detrimental,” added other non-impactful streamer/podcaster Josie “The Redheaded Libertarian” Glabach. Lol at this being the first mention of actual legislating and governing, buried at the bottom of an Axios piece about how all the batshittery is going to come with a real political/electoral cost for the right.

Last and certainly not least in this MAGA nightmare reel is the object of a Charlie Kirk-avatar Twitter user’s angst and anger toward McDonald’s (surely he blamed corporate greed back during the height of “Bidenflation,” right?): the North Carolina Biden 2020-to-Trump 2024 voter focus group in which “11 of the 14” participants “said they now disapprove of his job performance. And 12 of the 14 say they’re more worried about the economy now than they were in January.” It is bloody.

“I’m having deja vu. The same complaints swing voters voiced about Biden — about inflation’s toll, and his physical decline — mirror what many are now saying about Trump,” said moderator Rich Thau.

“Gas is more expensive, groceries are more expensive,” said participant Stephen J, 54, adding “but then you have to factor in, you know, this is someone who is chaffeured. This is someone who’s shopped for,” as though this is somehow different than it was before Stephen fucking voted for Donald. That until January 20th, Trump had been driving himself to Publix in a station wagon to pick up groceries every week, making sure he had thoroughly read the coupon circular before leaving.

Said Karen L, 61: “I just think he’s full of it, and he’s always blaming Biden for everything instead of taking responsibility for what he’s done.” Karen must’ve been tuned out when Trump literally said “I take no responsibility at all” on the COVID shitshow the year she voted for Joe Biden.

The worst part however was the unhappiness with “Sleepy Don” and his habit of nodding off on live television. “I would just say he is too old. I mean, same thing with Biden,” said David D, 61. “I don’t know if it’s any huge medical issue. I mean, you get to be 80 — this is not — CEOs aren’t 80 for most companies. He just needs more sleep.” Evan D, 31, agreed, saying “It’s not that him falling asleep is out of the ordinary given his age. But it is the most important job you could have in the country, so you probably shouldn’t be falling asleep.” Joe Biden never actually fell asleep on camera.

All of those quoted in the focus group write-up were identified as independents – save for one Republican, Michael P, 53 – who “speculated differently” per Axios: “Well, he also spends half the night tweeting.” It’s not clear if this was supposed to be a “defense” of his party’s president.

It’s almost like Axios is saying “WE COULD’VE HAD YOUNGKIN-OMICS RIGHT NOW BUT NOOOOOOOOOO, YOU FUCKING STUPID HICKS HAD TO NOMINATE AND THEN ELECT THIS ORANGE POTATO SO NOW WE’RE JUST GOING TO POST RESISTANCE LIBTARD PORN. FUCK YOU!”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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