Categories
Uncategorized

Matt Gaetz’s cable news audition went well

MAGA Congressman Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma rakes the Republican Fredo of the House, Matt Gaetz over nails, detailing how Gaetz was despised by his colleagues as a scum who would show photos of naked sexual conquests to coworkers and brag that he would snort ground up Viagra to “go for four hours.”  (I had to listen to it to report it to you, but it’s really worth hearing.)

The word “unserious” has been used with increasing frequency in proximity to the name Matt Gaetz, particularly when talking to Republican politicians. But nay, nay, I say:  Matt Gaetz is extremely serious, just not about being a Congressman.

You gotta remember what’s on Gaetz’s vision board in his bedroom:  after the redesign forced by the federal investigation, it’s not a big picture of the White House or even a gavel on top.  It’s a television showing a promo card for “The Gaetz Go-Round,” his dreamed-of talk show.  To get to that goal, Matt Gaetz needed to burnish his all-important brand, and there’s no better way to get eyeballs than to establish yourself as the Man Most Hated by the Republican Establishment.  (You could almost hear the radio promo as you read it, couldn’t you?)

But on Matty’s Vision Board, the television is representative of an Entire Media Empire like Mr. Trump’s.  (Dare not inform Matt that Mr. Trump’s entire media empire–prior to his entry into politics–consisted of licensing his name and image for a reality television show!  This is his dream.)  Podcasts, newsletters, a retail store.  An arena concert tour!  You think Elon will let him host a weekly live event?!  OH, MAN, a Gaetz line of children’s grooming books.  (I’m talking about teaching kids how he combs that hair, people!  Where are your minds?!?)

It’s not just Gaetz who plugs his appearances more than his policies.  More times than not, you’ll hear the celeb-iticans promote their podcasts or new book more often than their campaign fundraising website.  Free agent sycophant Marjorie Taylor Greene, newly released from Kevin McCarthy’s backside,  promotes her brand of conservatism across her platforms.  Her Twitter–yeah, I’m dead-naming it–feed runs topics that so infrequently touch on issues of her district, you would have thought she represented Iowa this summer.  She sets her social media feed like she’s planning to be the next female primetime host on Fox.

Gaetz fancies himself the new Tucker Carlson.  MTG wants to be the next Laura Ingraham.  Ted Cruz still sees a nasally Rush Limbaugh in the mirror.  I’m sure Lauren Boebert imagined herself as the brunette former reality show character who sits on Fox’s Curvy Couch during weekends, but her recent dalliances and her “No, for now” muddling have shifted her future media opportunities to the more, shall we say, graphic nature.

They’re all unserious politicians, the lot of them.  (Shit, what kind of “serious” politician with serious aspirations flies to Cancun as a winter storm disaster hit in his state?)  But they are serious self-promoters.  Their elections to national office were just stepping stones to a greater money-making, ego-stoking career.  They don’t want to be public servants; they want to be pampered stars.  They don’t want to hear constiuent concerns; they want to hear fan base cheers.

See, a world where they are the stars in their own media bubbles, is their goal.  It’s not having a school named after them, not being remembered as a statesman or a leader.  They want the cameras and cheering fans.  Until it all falls around them, then they’ll want back on the ballot.  Just ask Sarah Palin.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Kristi 💔 Byron

28 minutes ago

Newsmax viewers’ expectations calibrated inappropriately

1 hour ago

Orange Toddler again refuses to sign bipartisan housing bill

3 hours ago

House to vote on permanent Daylight Saving Time next week

4 hours ago

“Midterms are still beyond Trump’s focus zone”

7 hours ago

Reflecting Pool terrorist pleads not guilty

1 day ago

McCarthy can’t think of any Republicans similar to Platner

1 day ago

Palm Beach International now officially Donald J Trump Airport

1 day ago

Trump looks past partisan divides, sees in Graham Platner a fellow human being credibly accused of sexual violence against women

2 days ago

Orange Idiot cites some bullshit as pretext for birthright rehearing

2 days ago

Peace president bombs Iran again

2 days ago

Maine state House member says Platner backs her to take over

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: More deranged bullshit to embarrass Americans

2 days ago

NATO chief says Trump “absolutely right “about Greenland

2 days ago

Beshear demands proof of life from Cocaine Mitch

2 days ago

Mentally ill old man yells at reporters in Turkey: Watch Live

2 days ago

Oil rises, Dow Futures drop after Trump says ceasefire over

2 days ago

Zohran Mamdani is a socialist with his city grocery store plan

3 days ago

Iranians bombed again because the last five bombings didn’t work

3 days ago

Federal judge nukes Georgia 2020 election subpoena

3 days ago

MAHA mom charged with suffocating “vax victim” twin toddlers

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Turkey neck chills with Erdawg

3 days ago

French court ubans Marine Le Pen from office

3 days ago

White nationalist deeply offended

3 days ago

Orange Tyrant still pushing his bullshit “SAVE America Act”

3 days ago

Shark fin kid from Jaws now a police chief on Martha’s Vineyard, has yet to be punished by karma for fictional false alarm prank

3 days ago

Kevin McCarthy has thoughts about Platner rape accusation

4 days ago

Maine Dems call on Platner to quit

4 days ago

Patriotism situational

4 days ago

FIFA spikes Belgian appeal to Trump corruption of ref call

4 days ago

Graham Platner cancels campaign stops ahead of bad story

4 days ago

Tinpot dictator goes on state media to pander to wealthier dictator

4 days ago

Euro football leadership rages over Trump interference

4 days ago

At least 25 dead from heat in New Jersey alone

5 days ago

Desperate times call for…

6 days ago

DC Independence Day Parade canceled due to heat

6 days ago

Iranians mark July 4th with state funeral for Ayatollah

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: America’s Hitler at Mount Rushmore

7 days ago

Great American State Fair closed due to climate change hoax

7 days ago

Black Floridian stands her ground in Walmart parking lot

1 week ago

Flagging enthusiasm

1 week ago

Former Olympian indicted for touching National Mall reflecting pool

1 week ago

House GOP leaks counter-investigation warning shot to Semafor

1 week ago

Naval aviator missing in Persian Gulf after chopper crash

1 week ago

Peace protestors celebrate King Kong’s historic achievement

1 week ago

Lame, derivative Bond villain has fucking meltdown on CNBC

1 week ago

Fat Hitler considers return to “all-out war” with Iran

1 week ago

Jaydee and Steve take decidedly different approaches to ruling

1 week ago

Birthright failure leads Trump back to Plan A, which will also fail

1 week ago

Seditious Sam retiring NPR fucks up

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x