Categories
Uncategorized

Canadian misses out on being first confirmed death by meteor

Researchers at the University of Alberta this week announced they’ve determined that it was indeed a small meteorite that struck the pavement outside of Prince Edward Island man Joe Velaidum’s home in July 2024, just minutes after he had been standing in the exact spot, the CBC reports on Velaidum’s missed opportunity to become world famous as there are no documented occurrences of a human being getting killed by a piece of rock falling from outer space anywhere in history.

“The shocking thing for me is that I was standing right there a couple of minutes right before this impact,” Velaidum told CBC News. “If I’d have seen it, I probably would’ve been standing right there, so it probably would’ve ripped me in half,” he continued, evidently considering himself lucky to be alive rather than unlucky to have his name echo across history as the first ever victim of such an impact. Him and all the dinosaurs who died when a much bigger bolide smashed into the Earth 65 million years ago. Just think of all the would-be future Trivial Pursuit cards bearing his name.

“How does one interpret that, except… with wonder and with awe?” Veladium said, pondering the impact itself rather than what could have been if had destiny collided with him on his driveway.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Fannie Man tried his “mortgage fraud” scam on Todd Blanche: WSJ

1 hour ago

Orange Pharaoh hits all-time Reuters/Ipsos poll low at 32 percent

2 hours ago

Turns out the White House kind of needs a press pool for audio

8 hours ago

Fat Drama Queen calls media a national security threat

13 hours ago

CNN booted from White House press pool

22 hours ago

MAGA Land’s love of religious freedom contingent on the religion

1 day ago

Lots of shit gets blown up in Moscow

2 days ago

Tom Emmer comforted by meme he saw online

2 days ago

High school dropout accused of effing multiple congressional aides

2 days ago

President declares public antipathy to AI a hoax

2 days ago

“Not too long ago, Republicans were salivating…”

2 days ago

Tired: “Socialism” / Wired: “Communism”

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Angry grandpa takes afternoon nap on camera

3 days ago

Orange Fuhrer bans CNN, MS Now, and Politico from White House

3 days ago

K$H ordered FBI to stop cooperating with RCMP over CBC policy

3 days ago

If nobody’s watching then why complain?

3 days ago

Desperation for wins taken to previously unfathomed levels

3 days ago

Team Orange to build data centers on 17,600 acres of federal land

3 days ago

Regime shifting drone fleet to South America for expected ops

4 days ago

Susan Collins PAC canvasser caught porch pirating

4 days ago

New campaign ad BLASTS Trump immigration policy!

4 days ago

“The damaged MAGA brand will not appear in the disclaimers”

5 days ago

House finally passes Ratepayer Protection Act

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Maybe he dies in front of his racist, miserable fans

5 days ago

Remember when Trump kept losing his shit at Jerome Powell?

5 days ago

Mike Johnson calls it a wrap until mid-November

5 days ago

Quarter of Ohioans think Sherrod Brown still a senator: BGSU poll

6 days ago

Fox News reports Kirk still defunding woke universities

6 days ago

Marquette poll puts Dems up 13 percent on generic ballot

6 days ago

Fat baby conditions Kennedy Center’s existence on favorable ruling

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Todd auditions for White House press secretary role

6 days ago

Massie intros Hegseth impeachment articles

6 days ago

Dems 51 – GOP 43 on generic ballot: NYT/Siena poll

6 days ago

“‘The overall numbers beat the NFL,’ Trump wrote on Truth Social the next morning, long before any such numbers were available”

7 days ago

K$H in the hot seat: Live video

7 days ago

Ken Paxton lunged for US tourist’s phone after caught in London

1 week ago

Supreme Court tosses Trump mail-voting crackdown petition

1 week ago

Any man who must call himself a hoaxbuster is no hoaxbuster

1 week ago

DHS broke state laws in moronic voter fraud hunt: whistleblower

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE-ish: Jaydee already getting heckled in Kansas

1 week ago

Those unconcerned with threats from AI may want to reconsider

1 week ago

DiGenova quit after Blanche sent DOJ officials to “assist”: CNN

1 week ago

Houthis seize more Red Sea islands

1 week ago

President warns full-blown economic depression imminent

1 week ago

Los Angeles County neighborhoods hit with microquake swarm

1 week ago

Saudis shut down crucial pipeline amid Houthi/Iranian threat

1 week ago

Two Twenty-Six

1 week ago

Orange Fuhrer still won’t say why payout depends on midterms win

1 week ago

“The ballroom and the fucking Reflecting Pool”

1 week ago

Diesel prices top $6 a gallon because of Biden

2 weeks ago

x
x
x
x
x
x