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Hedge funder calls on Ketamine Brain to DOGE himself from Tesla

In what are hopefully the first rumblings of a palace coup against unhinged asshole Elon Musk, one of Tesla’s earliest backers, hedge fund bro Ross Gerber, called on Leon to step down as CEO of the Tesla fire of a company, citing all the MAGA and DOGE bullshit over the last few months.

“I think Tesla needs a new CEO and I decided today I was going to start saying it and so this is the first show that I’m saying it on. It’s time for somebody to run Tesla,” Gerber, president and CEO of California-based Gerber Kawasaki Wealth and Investment Management, told Sky News. “The business has been neglected for too long. There are too many important things Tesla is doing, so either Elon should come back to Tesla and be the CEO of Tesla and give up his other jobs or he should focus on the government and keep doing what he is doing but find a suitable CEO of Tesla.”

Emphasizing that the DOGE circlejerk was “absolutely” diminishing the brand, Gerber said “The company’s reputation has just been destroyed by Elon Musk. Sales are plummeting so, yeh, it’s a crisis. You literally can’t sell the best product in the market place because the CEO is so divisive.”

“(((Ross Gerber))) can go FUCK HIMSELF IN THE FACE… After I chainsaw it,” Musk will tweet soon.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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