Cops in various jurisdictions in Germany have been wit with a rash of homicide reports turning out to be cases of sex doll littering, as per the UK’s Times at least three such incidents in the past two weeks, with investigators theorizing that because the dolls are so, um, anatomically realistic nowadays and that owners are too embarrassed to risk being seen leaving it on the curb in front of their home with the rest of their garbage that they instead dump them in remote areas, sometimes setting them on fire, which in turn leads to others calling thinking they found a homicide victim.

After a burned “body” was found poking out of a bush by a dog-walker in Rostok, the largest city in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern state, cops spent five hours preparing to examine the scene, deploying drones and all sorts of other forensic equipment before they figured out the victim was a sex doll.

In a statement, the Rostok Police Department said “All police measures were immediately terminated. The undertaker could fortunately be cancelled. The police would like to take this opportunity to ask people to dispose of their rubbish in the appropriate locations.” A spokeswoman laughed it off saying “We can write this off as an exercise. Fortunately we don’t get this every day.”

As for the other incidents, another “body” was found floating in a canal in Hanover in February, a “silicone backside” thought to be a real human body part was found in a field near Bad Kreuznach, and on Monday cops in the western city of Bingen responded to another “body” a beach.

Maybe just don’t buy a sex doll unless you’re REALLY sure you want to keep it forever.