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Bondi announces $50 million reward for arrest of Maduro

In what’s quite possibly an idea that was brainstormed at her Wednesday night White House crisis meeting with other top-ranking Trump Regime officials on finding ways out of the Jeffrey Epstein clusterfuck, dipshit Attorney General Pam Bondi on Thursday announced the Justice Department was doubling its reward for information leading to the arrest of Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro.

Rewards are a useful incentive for law enforcement when nobody actually knows where a fugitive from justice or, for the military, a terrorist leader is hiding. Surely plenty of people in Afghanistan and elsewhere got paid and very well to inform on there whereabouts of top Al-Qaeda assholes. With Maduro it’s more like there are probably at least a few thousand people in the CIA who could walk into Bondi’s office, slap some colorfully-annotated satellite images of government buildings in Caracas on her desk and say “Here he is, go arrest him. Now give me my $50 million, you blonde idiot.” Nobody here or in Venezuela has been fucking holding out for her to double the bounty.

Now maybe there actually is a number that would be enough to get some of Maduro’s top military guys to turn on him, tie a sack on his head, and fly him to Puerto Rico. That number is almost certainly not $50 million. It might not even be $500 million. If Bondi were really serious she’d be working on some backchanneling through the State Department and CIA and so on to start those conversations, not doing a stupid video announcement as if Dog the Bounty Hunter or some asshole who thinks he’s the Mandalorian will go hot on Maduro’s trail and then get immediately gunned down by his security guards outside whatever bunker the Venezuelan dictator sleeps in.

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