You will not be surprised to learn that the “DoorDasher” who brought a bag full of McDonald’s to convicted felon President Trump in the Oval Office on Monday is not a DC local who legitimately picked up the order and was invited in, but a woman from friggin Arkansas who delivers for the app.

“A DoorDash delivery made its way to one of the most recognizable addresses in the world today: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Sharon Simmons, a Dasher from Arkansas, marked her order complete at the doors of the Oval Office on the South Lawn of the White House – an unconventional drop-off to commemorate the first anniversary of the No Tax on Tips policy,” says a blog post on the site.

God forbid that someone in another government office nearby actually place the order, rope the likely non-white driver into a brief Secret Service vetting and get their consent to have them meet the president to complete the delivery, and have this be an impromptu event with an actually more-or-less randomly-selected “DoorDasher” that the company could still promote. Barring that, and if it still had to be staged, you have to wonder if they ever even tried to cast someone from DC or if they were just like “fuck it. Arkansas it is.” Can’t really blame them when they knew it’d be hard, if not impossible, to find a local who would be willing to be seen standing next to the orange slob.

Whatever happened behind the scenes, it’s pretty on-brand for DoorDash to be the service to team up with Trump as he tries to promote one tiny crumb he gave to the poors in the Big Beautiful Piece of Shit, as they don’t like New York Attorney General Letitia James either. She got them to pay a $16 million settlement last year over – wait for it – tips they withheld from DoorDash drivers.