Gone with the-zales: Second terrible headline in a row

“There is a season for everything and God has a plan for us all. When Congress returns tomorrow, I will file my retirement from office. It has been my privilege to serve the great people of Texas,” tweeted the other rapey Congressman on Monday evening, with “retirement” apparently meaning resignation because Tony Gonzales technically already “retired” when he dropped out of the runoff.

Strait closed again, Iranians pew-pew tanker

“Not clear who created the AI accounts…”

WATCH LIVE: Tired old slob mumbles to “Youth” rally

IRS in “discussions designed to resolve” Trump’s $10 billion lawsuit

Graham Platner 64 – Janet Mills 29 in Maine Dem Senate primary

Whiny grievance propagated by official cheerleading account

White House invites Anthropic CEO after Trump freakout

Orange Fuhrer claims “No money will exchange hands in any way”

Jim Jordan wrestles with unpopularity of MAGA policy record

Team Orange to give $20 billion to Iran for their uranium: Axios

Iranian foreign minister claims the “fuckin strait” is open

John Solomon reports bold plan to deliver what voters demand

LAPD arrests D4VD seven months after girl, 14, found dead in car

“You have the base that is demanding this action, and you need to get them out for the midterms”: Trump minion on deportations

Fat Elvis but with more drugs in him takes show to Vegas: Live video

ICE chief to quit in June, former FEMA chief may be unfired

Fat, insecure baby loses it on “disloyal” widower Joe Kent

Jaydee’s star sinks with his god-boss

Orange Princess says ballroom now a matter of national security

WATCH LIVE: Senile old bag of shit struggles to hear reporters

Surprise! Erika Kirk canceled UGA bit over non-threat

We’re just gonna act like Nazis until you stop calling us Nazis, libs

Idaho pilot jailed and fined in November 2025 FWI crash incident

Netanyahu lets Trump take credit for halt in Lebanon bombing

Randy Fine hints Eric Swalwell kind of secretly a “white hat”

Virginia redistricting vote looking good for Dems: UVA analysis

Spirit Airlines could finally vanish into the aether

RFK Jr faces mounting dead raccoon cock questions: Watch Live

Pope decries “tyrants” who drag world into “darkness and filth”

South African oppo chief gets five years for firing rifle in air at rally

WATCH LIVE: Proselytizing Pete preaches the gospel of hopium

Dem former Virginia Lt Gov, wife dead in apparent murder-suicide

FDA recalls Xanax pills prescribed in 2024 and 2025

Slim plurality of Trump voters say he’s not corrupt: YouGov poll

Catturd situationally unsympathetic to Greene’s cries for sympathy

Fannie Man showed Orange Mortal the Jesus meme

Ivanka Fujimori leads ahead of Peruvian presidential runoff

House GOP leadership adds fresh and disquietingly odd new face

Vast majority of GOP voters won’t blame Trump for gas prices: poll

Stacey Plaskett files to run for USVI governor

WATCH LIVE: Karolinivore feasts on flesh of leftist media cattle

Fire Sean Duffy! Shit ice falls through Los Angeles home’s roof

Critical Race Theory propagandist market-tests GOP 2026 theme

Private jet pilot facing Kafkaesque trial in Guinea regrets Trump vote

Involuntarily celibate wizard’s magic inadequate for escaping arrest

WATCH LIVE: Mike Johnson and pals hold “Tax Day” presser

Long Island MAGA Congressman effs up excuse for Mills inaction

Top cable news editors could only do so much to hide rapid decay

“President Xi will give me a big, fat, hug”

Florida doctor indicted for removing man’s liver instead of spleen