FBI agents executed a series of raids on nearly two dozen shiny objects in Minnesota on Tuesday morning as Director K$H Patel seriously fears losing his job for drinking in a Las Vegas casino bar on weeknights and tries to grab the low hanging headlines like the one in this Fox News tweet.
“🚨 BREAKING: A massive federal operation is unfolding in Minneapolis as part of a sweeping fraud investigation into largely Somali-owned businesses. The FBI raided over 20 locations, including childcare centers,” wrote the Fox News tweet-itorial staff with alacritous excitement. So frenzied was the suckerdom that they failed to realize that this is a far cry from the once-promised floor-by-floor sweep of George Soros’s Onyx Tower of Doom, ending in a grueling boss battle in his skull-adorned, flame-lit throne room at the top of the grotesque Midtown Manhattan redoubt.
A mere Victoria’s Secret catalog to the premium XXX rage porn the fanboys had been teased with.