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Everything that was good in 2021, Part I: January to March


2021 was the hangover from the gallon of turpentine forced down our throats in 2020. Lots of headaches, scars, and nausea for the lingering aftereffects of a bad time. But plenty of good moments too. While plenty of other websites and publications are going to hammer you with everything that was bad, let’s take it in another direction and celebrate what was objectively good for America as well as the “good” – as in the schadenfreude-y shit Blue America loves.

January 2021

Reverend Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff elected to the Senate in Georgia,
clinching slim Dem Majority and allowing Biden to staff a presidential cabinet.

Fox and Friends can’t bring themselves to say who’s responsible for Democrats Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff winning in Georgia

Mike Pence refuses to overturn 2020 election: Of course he had to do it. But we’re calling this a “good” thing because it drove Donald berserk.

This isn’t “good” either. It’s just entertaining.

Vicious, non-woke MAGA cancel mob terrorizes innocent Senator Lindsey Graham as he’s minding his own business in airport

Twitter permanently bans Trump: Hard to believe it really happened, but it fucking happened. After all the lies, hatred, and bullshit Trump was gone from Twitter forever.

Twitter ban drove Trump as insane as expected: report

GOP megadonor Sheldon Adelson dead: Yeah this won’t be the last one where we’ll say it’s good he’s dead. Harsh as it is to say, the world is simply better off without some people.

Trump impeached for second time

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris sworn in: Four years of bullshit finally came to an end and a real president was sworn in. Joseph Robinette Biden Jr, former Vice President of the United States, and Kamala Devi Harris, former Junior United States Senator from California were be inaugurated as 46th President of the United States and 48th Vice President of the United States, respectively, on January 20th, 2021.

Proud Boys turn on their Fallen God Emperor: There’s some minor but nevertheless entertaining little pockets of discontent in MAGA Land against their God.

PayPal kills Private Jet Karen rioter’s account

Dominion sues Rudy Giuliani for $1.3 billion in damages

#WalkAway dipshit Brandon Straka arrested by FBI over Capitol riot

Capitol rioter, age 26, identified by his high school varsity jacket : Definitely one of our favorites.

Ukraine finally opens an investigation into interference in American elections, except it’s looking at Trump’s friends there, not Hunter’s

February 2021

Myanmar fitness instructor does her daily aerobics class oblivious to military vehicles racing to take over parliament building in coup: Not good, just darkly funny.

Pete Buttigieg confirmed as first ever LGBTransportation Secretary: Everyone loves Pete.

MAGA Land thinks Newsmax has gone RINO

Newsmax host melts down at “MacDonalds” employee for calling him a “Man Karen” in questionable argument over fish sandwich : The first of many Greg Kelly tweets we covered in 2021. Probably the last one appearing here on this list.

Fox News fires Lou Dobbs

Trump minion arrested for distributing child porn: Always a good thing when MAGA people show their true selves, and go to prison for it.

Twitter bans Gateway Pundit for life

Judge dismisses Carter Page defamation suit: Sucks for him.

“What a disappointment you are to us and to God!”: Rep Adam Kinzinger shares an angry letter from his MAGA relatives

Ted Cruz amazingly admits he’s a stupid asshole: This was BEFORE Cancungate.

Trump Plaza Casino Atlantic City demolished: Everything dies baby that’s a fact, and certain things that die they never come back.

Rush Limbaugh dead at 70: Even more people celebrated this news, way more than the demise of that stupid failed casino that very same morning.

QAnon expert says cult freaks particularly devastated over Biden flying on Air Force One, since it’s the real president’s plane

Cruz characteristically takes ownership by blaming his daughters: Again, not “good”, just damn funny.

Devin Nunes schlonged in federal libel suit against CNN

Millennial woman prime minister whose leadership obliterated the Coronavirus in her country also reunites child with lost toy bunny

Dominion sues MyPillow assclown for $1.3 billion

Trump cries “political persecution” at Supreme Court tax decision

Man-Karen Federalist reporter melts down at Jim Acosta at CPAC, almost as if Acosta is somehow responsible for Trump losing

March 2021

March 4th Trump re-inauguration canceled due to circumstances unforeseen by brainwashed members of apocalyptic cult, Biden still president

Trump screams at Biden for abandoning his big, beautiful wall in statement, says finishing it “will save thousands of lives”

QAnon Shaman’s bail request denied

Biden signs $1.9 trillion Coronavirus relief bill

BREAKING NEWS: Election fraud conspirators arrested in Florida

Corrupt Tanzanian autocrat John Magufuli dead at 61

Surprise! Pennsylvania MAGA mailman’s ballot fraud story amped by Project Veritas dickface James O’Keefe was complete horseshit

San Antonio wax museum had to put Trump figure in storage after visitors repeatedly scratched and punched it in the face

Shitty golfer slams iron to the ground after bad swing

Krispy Kreme forcing Anti-Vaxxers to chose donuts over freedom

MAGA ultra-badass Oath Keeper says he’s too much of a cupcake for jail, begs judge to let him out before trial for Captiol riot charges

Matt Gaetz subject of statutory rape investigation: report : Not good, entertaining.

This is freaking long and taking a while to compile. It’s very “top-heavy” and still probably missing some “good” stuff, so sound off in the comments below. Part II will hit as soon as possible, but maybe on Saturday, after it’s already 2022. Auld lang syne, National Zero.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Flagging enthusiasm

8 hours ago

Former Olympian indicted for touching National Mall reflecting pool

10 hours ago

House GOP leaks counter-investigation warning shot to Semafor

13 hours ago

Naval aviator missing in Persian Gulf after chopper crash

1 day ago

Peace protestors celebrate King Kong’s historic achievement

1 day ago

Lame, derivative Bond villain has fucking meltdown on CNBC

2 days ago

Fat Hitler considers return to “all-out war” with Iran

2 days ago

Jaydee and Steve take decidedly different approaches to ruling

2 days ago

Birthright failure leads Trump back to Plan A, which will also fail

2 days ago

Seditious Sam retiring NPR fucks up

3 days ago

Supreme Court nukes Trump’s birthright citizenship order

3 days ago

First Amendment rights for dark money upheld

3 days ago

MIA Republican returns to Capitol, won’t answer questions

3 days ago

MAGA Congressman says Nawth Kawreans coming in via Canada

3 days ago

Paxton and Talarico tied in Texas: NYT/Siena poll

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Loser falls asleep some more

3 days ago

“This Case is really against the United States of America”

4 days ago

Los Supremos spike Trump bid to fire Fed Gov Lisa Cook

4 days ago

Supreme Court allows late mail-in ballots to count

4 days ago

Trump’s EJ Carroll overturn bid rejected by Supreme Court

4 days ago

Amy Acton 47 – Da Vek 44 in Ohio gov race: AARP poll

4 days ago

“The criminally made algae is gone”

4 days ago

Total RINO says US shouldn’t just deport scores of Haitians

5 days ago

Orange Ayatollah makes some more empty, impotent threats to Iran

5 days ago

MAGA Z-lister arrested for publicly spanking it at America 250 fest

5 days ago

Iranian drones hit Bahrain

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Cult and their Antichrist talk real about Biblical values

6 days ago

Crimea under state of emergency due to Ukrainian attacks

6 days ago

Trump retcons MAGA poll’s approval rating by 15 percent

7 days ago

Listen to Brainworms trying to bribe Libertarian out of Iowa race

7 days ago

Dem trails Republican by 1 percent in Stefanik’s Trump +20 district

7 days ago

John Bolton to plead guilty on Friday

7 days ago

SPOILER ALERT: The Iranians already said they ain’t buying shit

1 week ago

DC judge finds Trump regime violated Epstein files law

1 week ago

Jaydee asserts Watergate would not have taken down Trump

1 week ago

Iranians attack Singaporean cargo vessel

1 week ago

Crowd size now fun to lie about again

1 week ago

Rick Scott urges Americans to see past the facts and evidence

1 week ago

Supreme Court rules lower courts cannot block TPS revocations

1 week ago

Federal judge nukes Trump election executive order

1 week ago

Arizona food bank demand up 8 percent since last year

1 week ago

Seat of global power uses “mutilization” in official communication

1 week ago

Venezuela earthquake death toll at least 164

1 week ago

Orange God Emperor cancels landmark bill signing

1 week ago

Dan Sullivan sues to run against Dan Sullivan

1 week ago

MAGA Congressman assumes Trump has evidence of pool plot

1 week ago

Iranians now even more better off than they were a year ago

1 week ago

UK cuffs thousands with alcohol ankle monitors during World Cup

1 week ago

Amphibians do eat algae, so maybe Trump’s onto something here

1 week ago

Cocaine Mitch’s staff insists he’s still alive

1 week ago

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