Trump White House counsels to testify to Capitol riot committee

Former Trump White House counsel Pat Cipollone, a far right asshole who nonetheless apparently stopped a lot of bad shit from happening as the Orange God Emperor’s regime crumbled in the late 2020 and early 2021, and his sidekick Patrick Philbin will testify to the House January 6th Select Committee this week, Politico reports. Highlights from the testimony are sure to include Cipollone threatening to quit if Trump installed traitor Jeffrey Clark as Attorney General, threatening to quit if Trump installed traitor Kash Patel as CIA director, threatening to quit if Trump appointed traitor Sidney “Kraken” Powell as special counsel, talking Trump out of self-pardoning, and warning White House staff to avoid Trump so they didn’t get prosecuted for treason on January 6th. Then there’s probably a bunch of other completely insane shit we don’t have any idea about yet.

Venezuelan forces lay siege to Argentinian embassy in Caracas

Fox News reports wokeness ruining country music industry

Philippines Vice President Sara Duterte says she’s ordered assassin to kill President Ferdinand Marcos immediately if/when she is killed

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

Hungarian Nazi enthusiast named to National Security post

We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

Hedge fund manager going to play with a lot more people’s money

Maine Republican declared winner of election for state seat by one vote after being arrested for choking wife in October

Canadian Clustertruck captain convicted

Top German conservative activist dies at 96

Guy who can’t get webcasts to work interested in buying MSNBC

Texas Supreme Court gets Ken Paxton out of a jam

Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

Judge Merchan indefinitely postpones Trump sentencing

Mike Rogers not under consideration for FBI chief: Trump minion

MAGA Land urges children to sacrifice new toys for America First

Tucker says he told Johnson to “check with Putin” on Ukraine aid

Team Orange “blindsided” by Hegseth rape accusation

Convicted California pedophile faces 740 years to life in prison

New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

“He was doing very well but, at the same time, did not want to be a distraction for the Administration”: Trump on Gaetz withdrawal

Matt Gaetz pulls out before things got even more messy

Republicans don’t actually know how mass deportation will work

MAGA propagandists put on nominee defense duty

Barrasso comes out in support of Pete Hegseth

Allegation: Hegseth drugged, sexually assaulted woman

ICC issues arrest warrant for Netanyahu

Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

Florida man arrested for planning to bomb Wall Street

Out of control inflation: banana sells for $5 million

House Republicans lining up to sink Gaetz nomination

Not The Onion: Alex Jones sues Sandy Hook families, The Onion

Capitol rioter convicted of plotting to murder FBI agents

House Ethics fails to agree to release Gaetz investigation report

Elon Musk got a lot done today

Orange Pharaoh rages over pushback to his shitty picks

Laken Riley’s killer convicted

Bald asshole former acting AG gets NATO ambassador nod

Grindr user “SenatorPartySlut1776” complies with blackmail terms

Freeman and Moss ask judge to hold Rudy in contempt

Jaydee stuck trying to sell Senate GOP on Gaetz

Surprise! Bobby Jr bought into “plandemic” shit in 2020

Walmart CFO says they’re getting ready to jack up prices

US Embassy in Kyiv shuts down over anticipated Russian attack

AG-designate Gaetz helped pay $10K in tuition for two underprivileged sex workers, Committee investigation found

Wrestling executive to head US Education Department

Guy accused of battery who cheated on wife once wrote of one’s “moral responsibility” while at Ivy League. (No, the other guy)

SpaceX landing aborted with Donald watching

Senate approves RFK takeover

Mehmet Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid for Trump Reich