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A disconcerting number of entertainment news website headlines printed on Thursday center on Hollywood actress Amanda Seyfried’s revelation that she was outfitted with a “prosthetic butthole” during a scene filmed for the 2025 historical drama musical The Testament of Ann Lee about the founder of the “Shakers” Christian sect, the plot of which evidently required a production costumer to design and fabricate a custom prosthetic anus and fake public hair “merkin” for Seyfried to wear.

It’s not clear why the director, Mona Fastvoid, couldn’t have just maybe set the scene differently as to merely imply the exposure rather than necessitating the prosthesis which, by its very nature and intent, was indistinguishable from the real thing to audiences who watched the film in theaters.

Also, what the fuck, why? Why? Sparing the actress’s modesty by use of the “prosthetic butthole” while true, absolves the director from not even fucking needing it in the first place. Jesus Christ what the hell is wrong with these people and are they really this hell-bent on forcing those of us in the middle of the political/cultural spectrum to have to qualify with “Okay, yeah that butthole thing in The Testament of Ann Lee was excessive, but” every time we knock MAGA Evangelicals’ constant overreactions to the “ungodly wickedness” of Hollywood? Fucking lefty film school edgelords.

“Why are you libs suddenly so interested in those 2019 FBI interviews with the woman who accused Trump of orally raping her and then punching her in the head when she bit him when Biden didn’t release those documents to the public either?!” is not really that much sarcastic of a summary of what fanboy Texas Congressman Pat Fallon is saying here. In fact it’s really just a condensation.

The “But Biden and Garland” shit is so well-worn by now you already know by heart why it’s meaningless in the current context. Instead there’s something important that Fox News did not mention here and requires a lengthy separate dismantling over the next few hours. Stay tuned.

Convicted felon President Trump’s long and dreadful Tuesday night State of the Union drew 28 million viewers, his lowest ever for any joint session speech a 40 percent drop from his 2019 address that drew 46.8 million, Deadline reports. Now sure, viewing habits keep shifting away from real cable and even seven years will show a difference, but it’s still down over 20 percent from even his March 4, 2025 not-actually-a-State of the Union’s audience of 36.6 million, per Nielsen’s data.

Butler Village, Ohio Mayor Wesley Dingus resigned from office on Tuesday, a swift and dramatic end to a scandal that had engulfed his administration after the revelation of a secret taping system in his teenage stepdaughter’s bedroom revealed his complicity in a break in of her hamper to sniff her panties while fondling himself after she had left for school last month, 19 News reports.

The now-disgraced Republican former leader transmitted his resignation to the village council on a ripped piece of legal pad on which he scribbled “Effective Immediately I, Wesley Dingus, resign as Village of Butler Mayor, not under stress but duress,” following his monitored release on $1,000 bond. Village council President Rick Thran is expected to take the oath of office at a meeting on Tuesday to assume leading Butlerians though he needs to “spend time in prayer” to think on it first.

Dingus is the first mayor in the village’s 178 year history to resign for sniffing panties.

World Economic Forum chairman Berge Brende on Thursday hung it up over his connections to Jeffrey Epstein, ZDF Heute reports on a big win for the confirmation bias of the MAGAmericans obsessed with the elitist international organization they think is the Illuminati and/or the reptiloids.

“As part of the ongoing investigation into the armed attack against a patrol vessel of the Border Guard Troops of the Ministry of the Interior, in the northeastern area of the El Pino channel, at Cayo Falcones, municipality of Corralillo, Villa Clara province, the following update is provided: Authorities have confirmed that the intercepted speedboat, registered in the State of Florida under number FL7726SH, was carrying 10 armed individuals who, according to preliminary statements by those detained, intended to carry out an infiltration for terrorist purposes. The following items were seized: assault rifles, handguns, improvised explosive devices (Molotov cocktails), body armor, telescopic sights, and camouflage uniforms,” said the Cuban embassy in a lengthy tweet Wednesday night.

The Villages, Florida’s most famous anti-MAGA patriot Ed McGinty wrote into the sunwashed golf cart maze’s website of record on Tuesday to express an inversion of the oldest Trump era cliche:

“My family has split apart. As an example I have two stepdaughters that I raised, and my son. We have not had much to agree on for almost 10 years. As many of my signs have said, if Trump ran as a Democrat, I would still be calling him a filthy pig, and ALL THE REPUBLICANS would, too. You know, and I know, you all know, he is a morally bankrupt human being. Why even Epstein said that. It’s never been party against party for me. It’s always been the lack of morals of Trump.”

“Some Trump voters this year seeing the inhuman treatment of Hispanics and white protestors, are moving to my side of the street. Most of my neighbors don’t like me because of my moral stand against him. PLEASE get this, I don’t care who does not like me protesting, against the most immoral man of my lifetime and I never will,” McGinty continued in the letter to Villages-News.com’s editors.

A well-documented phenomenon in public opinion polling is the tendency of a certain slice of respondents to mis-recall their vote in the previous presidential election, invariably always accumulating to the winner. This is no common that, in a Wednesday blog post elections egghead Lakshya Jain writes that “winner’s recall” is a widely understood term in the industry.

Obviously this is only observed when the respondents are named, known, and polled again at a later time, which is exactly how Jain now reports that because “the day after the 2024 election, our polling partner Verasight collected data from every respondent in its panel about whom they voted for” and did so again each time they re-engaged, that now he’s sharing a noticeable dropoff.

“Here’s what we’re finding: six percent of Trump voters — as determined by the recorded vote data we have, which we’ll treat as the ground truth — don’t even admit to voting for him in the last election,” Jain writes of his 12,180 respondents. “Approximately 15 percent of Trump’s 2024 voters disapproved of his job performance. Among this group, almost one in four didn’t admit to having voted for the president. Thirteen percent even falsely claimed to have voted for Kamala Harris, while 12 percent claimed they actually didn’t vote at all.” A table in the article shows this offset by 1.0 and 2.3 percent of Harris voters who claimed to have voted Trump or just not voted, respectively.

Venezuelan Attorney General Tarek William Saab, who is ethnically Lebanese like his first name but not his Anglo middle name or now-retired Swedish upmarket automotive marque last name, called it quits Wednesday after nine years serving now-renditioned dictator Nicolas Maduro’s former regime, Reuters reports on a repressive fascist apparently being allowed to just walk out in peace.

“Niagara County Sheriff Michael Filicetti announces the arrest of a 33-year-old Buffalo man following a motor vehicle accident involving a patrol vehicle. At approximately 15:06 hours, a marked Niagara County Sheriff’s Office patrol vehicle was stopped in traffic while traveling southbound on Lockport Junction Road at the intersection with Saunders Settlement Road. While waiting at the intersection, the patrol vehicle was rear-ended by a 2017 Chevrolet Cruze.”

“Following an investigation at the scene, deputies determined that the driver of the striking vehicle, Eric M Mende, 33, of Buffalo, New York, was intoxicated. Mende was taken into custody and transported to the Sheriff’s Office, where he submitted to a chemical breath test. Mende is charged with Aggravated Driving While Intoxicated (BAC higher than 0.18), open container, and additional Vehicle and Traffic law Infractions. Mende was remanded to the Niagara County Correctional Facility pending centralized arraignment. The police officer operating the marked patrol unit was transported to a local hospital for evaluation,” says a press release from the Niagara County, New York Sheriff’s Office on a spectacularly embarrassing failure to properly drive while drunk.

But it’s the Republican voter registration record that makes this truly special. The record says he voted in 2012 and 2013. Then after a long gap he got back into it and reregistered with the GOP in 2023 just ahead of some local elections and then in 2024. The timeline speaks to a guy who maybe got stuck waiting a while for a doctor’s appointment and Fox News was on in the waiting room and he decided he liked what they were saying about Hunter Biden, decided that it was on him as an American to right the wrongs and become a Republican. That would make his life appreciably better and happier and ensure that he’d never hit rock bottom and the back of a police car in broad fucking daylight on a Tuesday while drunk on God knows what dogshit brand of fortified wine or something.

The Cuban embassy in the US on Wednesday announced that “On the morning of February 25, 2026, a violating speedboat was detected within Cuban territorial waters. The vessel, registered in Florida, United States, with registration number FL7726SH, approached up to 1 nautical mile northeast of the El Pino channel, in Cayo Falcones, Corralillo municipality, Villa Clara province.”

“When a surface unit of the Border Guard Troops of the Ministry of the Interior, carrying five service members, approached the vessel for identification, the crew of the violating speedboat opened fire on the Cuban personnel, resulting in the injury of the commander of the Cuban vessel. As a consequence of the confrontation, as of the time of this report, four aggressors on the foreign vessel were killed and six were injured. The injured individuals were evacuated and received medical assistance. In the face of current challenges, Cuba reaffirms its determination to protect its territorial waters, based on the principle that national defense is a fundamental pillar of the Cuban State in safeguarding its sovereignty and ensuring stability in the region. Investigations by the competent authorities continue in order to fully clarify the events,” the choppily-translated release continued.

Sounds plausible. “Uhoh, see that patrol vessel over there? Looks like the Cubans are onto us. Let’s open fire instead of surrendering. It’ll work out,” certainly tracks with Floridian thinking.

The most obvious tell that Trump’s Truth Social post wasn’t intentional is that he would’ve posted the entire thing if he had seen it.

It’s a masterpiece. 😭 pic.twitter.com/Omm5nafaqh

— johnny maga (@johnnymaga) February 6, 2026

Some dot-connecting by Wired reveals that anonymous Trump fanboy account “Johnny MAGA” is run by a public employee on the White House payroll as “rapid response manager,” who is now officially tied to calling the video depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as apes a “masterpiece.”

A little late to the fire started earlier this month by unrivaled indie journo Roger Sollenberger, the New York Times on Wednesday nevertheless dove into the gap the Justice Department left in the Epstein files database about the FBI’s interviews with “Jane Doe 4,” a survivor of the evil pimp’s sex trafficking and abuses who in 2019 was interviewed at least four times by the FBI after she claimed she had bit the Orange God Emperor’s undersized penis and then was punched during a forced sexual encounter sometime in the early/mid-1980s when she was about 14 years old.

The Gray Lady even put a BREAKING in red letters on the home page for the story on ground well-trodden by Sollenberger and then NPR on Tuesday, who determined that all of the relevant documents have sequential serial numbers and that sequence revealed the gap. One thing that the Times clarifies is that it’s not known if JD4 definitely received a settlement from a 2019 settlement against Epstein’s estate, but other than that it does not seem they’re adding much to the picture.

Still, just by picking it up and putting it on the home page the paper is giving what had previously been a weirdly low-key and even “BlueAnon”-ish angle to the Trump-Epstein shitshow some legs.

Evidently feeling his thin, flabby skin penetrated by the taunts of Muslim Congresswomen Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib, convicted felon President Trump lost his shit on Wednesday, posting “When you watch Low IQ Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib, as they screamed uncontrollably last night at the very elegant State of the Union, such an important and beautiful event, they had the bulging, bloodshot eyes of crazy people, LUNATICS, mentally deranged and sick who, frankly, look like they should be institutionalized. When people can behave like that, and knowing that they are Crooked and Corrupt Politicians, so bad for our Country, we should send them back from where they came as fast as possible,” and just gotta stop the fat fuck there because Rashida Tlaib was born in Detroit.

“They can only damage the United States of America, they can do nothing to help it. They should actually get on a boat with Trump Deranged Robert De Niro, another sick and demented person with, I believe, an extremely Low IQ, who has absolutely no idea what he is doing or saying – some of which is seriously CRIMINAL! When I watched him break down in tears last night, much like a child would do, I realized that he may be even sicker than Crazy Rosie O’Donnell, who is right now in Ireland trying to figure out how to come back into our beautiful United States. The only difference between De Niro and Rosie is that she is probably somewhat smarter than him, which isn’t saying much. The good news is that America is now Bigger, Better, Richer, and Stronger than ever before, and it’s driving them absolutely crazy!” Donald continued with his empowering self-affirmations.

Former Harvard President Larry Summers, who had some kind of part-time not-really-a-job at the college that he kind of self-suspended from anyway last year because of his emails with Jeffrey Epstein, told the Crimson on Wednesday he’s packing it in at the end of this semester.

Summers was not the only Ivory Tower inmate who palled around with Dirty Jeff to call it a career this morning as Nobel laureate Dr Richard Axel announced he had “informed Columbia University that I will step down as co-director of the Zuckerman Mind Brain Behavior Institute to focus on research and teaching in my lab. I also informed HHMI that I will resign my position as an HHMI Investigator. My past association with Jeffrey Epstein was a serious error in judgment, which I deeply regret. I apologize for compromising the trust of my friends, students, and colleagues.”

“I recognize the problems this has caused, and I will work to restore this trust. What has emerged about Epstein’s appalling conduct, the harm that he has caused to so many people, makes my association with him all the more painful and inexcusable,” continued the guy holding himself more accountable than Donald Trump, Howard Lutnick, and who the hell knows how many others.

“The National Unity Party (NUP) has taken note of the renewed discussions surrounding the impeachment proceedings filed against Vice President Sara Duterte. Impeachment is one of the most important constitutional powers entrusted to Congress. It is not a political instrument nor a forum for revisiting matters already exhaustively examined. Rather, it is a solemn constitutional mechanism for enforcing accountability at the highest levels of public office, and should be evaluated carefully in light of the evidence presented. At this stage, the NUP has not seen the inclusion of new and material evidence that would warrant a departure from issues that have already been the subject of prior inquiries and extensive public hearings. Unless compelling new evidence emerges during the course of these hearings that fundamentally alters the factual basis for the impeachment complaint, the NUP will most likely not vote in favor of this measure.”

“The Party will not pre-empt such proceedings and remains prepared to assess any new evidence presented in the course of the deliberations,” says a press release from a Philippines congressional bloc decisive to the question of whether psychotic Vice President Sara Duterte should be removed from office for threatening to assassinate President Ferdinand “BongBong” Marcos.

The NUP backed off their support for removing Sara – daughter of current International Criminal Court defendant and ex-dictator Rodrigo Duterte – after she announced her 2028 presidential bid last week. Just going by her own rhetoric and her family’s reputation one could say the call was more actuarial than political in a country where it’s an employer’s market for death squads.

Don’t be a jester if you don’t get the headline about subhuman Vice President Neckbeard’s cortisolmaxxing after being poll-mogged by Fox News foidslayer Bill Hemmer and his adamantium jawframe, just groll with it and appreciate the suckery on its own terms. Especially how Jaydee fails to just outright reject the polls as being fake or oversampling libs, illegal immigrants, etc.