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Orange Baby confirms he got his participation Nobel Peace Prize

“It was my Great Honor to meet María Corina Machado, of Venezuela, today. She is a wonderful woman who has been through so much. María presented me with her Nobel Peace Prize for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you María!” posted the fat toddler on Thursday, making it unambiguous he now “owns” an official Nobel Peace Prize.

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North Carolina meth delivery guy arrested for address mix-up

A real klutz of a North Carolina meth operation’s delivery guy is in trouble after he showed up to the wrong house at 1:45 AM on Sunday, expecting to drop off the stuff to a willing buyer, WSOC reports.

The unidentified 32 year-old suspect faces felony possession of Schedule I narcotics, felony conspiracy to deliver meth, felony conspiracy to traffic meth, misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance, and two misdemeanor counts of possession of marijuana/drug paraphernalia.

It’s not clear if the man was on meth at the time. Or maybe he was and it was just shitty meth that wasn’t making him alert enough to realize he was at the wrong address at 1:45 AM.

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Machado says she gave Trump her Nobel Peace Prize medal

After having emerged from a meeting at the White House with convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado told reporters she “presented the President of the United States the medal, the peace, the Nobel Peace Prize” and a not particularly careful parsing of her words after that left the very strong impression that Trump “accepted.”

“The people of Bolivar are giving back to the heir of Washington a medal, the medal of the Nobel Peace Prize, for the recognition of his unique commitment to our freedom,” said Machado.

Well there you have it. The fat fuck will now consider himself a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, just hours after he threatened to turn the US military against the people of a major American city.

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NJ AG accuses MAGA ex-mayor of ordering Black drivers stopped

“Attorney General Matthew J Platkin and the Division on Civil Rights (DCR) announced today that they have filed a complaint in New Jersey Superior Court alleging that Clark Township and the Clark Police Department (CPD) systematically discriminated against and harassed Black and other non-white motorists in violation of the New Jersey Law Against Discrimination (LAD) and the New Jersey Constitution. The complaint is based on an investigation conducted by DCR that focused on the time period from 2015 through the end of the Union County Prosecutor’s Office’s (UCPO) supersession of CPD’s operations in March 2025. The investigation found that Clark Township and CPD instituted a variety of discriminatory policing practices at the behest of the longtime former Mayor of Clark, Salvatore Bonaccorso, and CPD leadership,” says the New Jersey AG’s office in a statement.

“The complaint explains that, prior to UCPO’s supersession of CPD’s operations in July 2020, leadership in Clark Township and CPD leadership expressly instructed officers to keep Black people out of Clark and directed officers to engage in policing practices that were designed to accomplish exactly that. The complaint alleges that former Mayor Bonaccorso directed CPD leadership to engage in discriminatory policing to ‘keep chasing the spooks out of town,’ using a racial slur to refer to Black people. And CPD then implemented a variety of practices designed to achieve that outcome,” the press release continues and yes Bonaccorso is definitely, 100 percent MAGA.

Well yeah it was obvious from hating Blacks but you can see Trump shit on his Facebook page too.

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NASA still not saying what the hell happened with astronauts

“NASA’s SpaceX Crew-11 mission safely splashed down early Thursday morning in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of San Diego, concluding a more than five-month mission aboard the International Space Station. NASA astronauts Zena Cardman and Mike Fincke, JAXA (Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency) astronaut Kimiya Yui, and Roscosmos cosmonaut Oleg Platonov returned to Earth at 12:41 am PST. Teams aboard SpaceX recovery vessels retrieved the spacecraft and its crew shortly after landing. Crew-11 returned home about a month earlier than planned because of a medical concern teams are monitoring with one of the crew members, who remains stable.”

“Due to medical privacy, it is not appropriate for NASA to share more details about the crew member. Prior to return, NASA previously coordinated for all four crew members to be transported to a local hospital for additional evaluation, taking advantage of medical resources on Earth to provide the best care possible,” says a NASA press release and since when did HIPAA apply to astronauts?

At least just say it was something normal and don’t leave room to speculate it was like a horrific alien virus or weird cosmic energy wave that gave the astronaut super powers or some shit.

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Crew of armed robbers takes high stakes card game in Manhattan

A highly organized and professional armed robbery crew barged into a high stakes card game in Manhattan on Wednesday night, making off with over $100,000 worth of prized loot in under three minutes, leaving the high rollers and their host utterly stunned by the brazen heist, WABC reports.

The Poke Court, a sophisticated parlor opened in the Meatpacking District in November to serve the city’s elite Pokemon card players, was a mess of glass from shattered display cases after the brazen rogues absconded with its most coveted and valuable depictions of Japanese cartoon fighting animals that players pit against each other in imaginary battles, a most inauspicious first “community night” for the venue. At least 40 of Gotham’s top Pokemon sharps witnessed the crime.

“That’s been the recommendation of the police and of other shops in the area to get an armed guard or like a doorman,” proprietor Courtney Chin told WABC, adding she hopes insurance will cover the losses. She did not say if the merchandise was actually insured or if this was more of like an aspirational hope that the typical policies held by commercial retail business will cover it.

The NYPD are asking for the public’s assistance in identifying the thieves. They gotta catch em all.

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“When you think of it, we shouldn’t even have an election”

During the brief but wide-ranging interview with Reuters from which other portions were picked up here earlier, convicted felon President Trump on Thursday told reporters with the outlet that he doesn’t exactly have high hopes for the Republican Party in the November elections, saying “It’s some deep psychological thing, but when you win the presidency, you don’t win the midterms.”

The fat bastard then, per Reuters, “boasted that he had accomplished so much” that “when you think of it, we shouldn’t even have an election,” his addled mind germinating the seed of canceling the midterms because of whatever the fuck he thinks he actually accomplished domestically.

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Multiple shot at Atlanta warming shelter

A warming center – basically a homeless shelter with a lot of space heaters – in Atlanta was the scene of a mass shooting on Thursday, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports and the details are extremely limited at this point as a 911 call was placed just before 10 AM this morning.

Not that it would be good if this was simply some vagrant asshole pulling a gun and shooting several others he did not like, but it’s still preferable to the place being targeted by someone not sheltering there and did not know anyone inside except that it’s a temporary shelter for homeless people, most of them likely Black given the area’s demographics. That would be far more unwelcome news.

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“Stop proposing this populist shit”

Asked to comment on convicted felon President Trump’s extremely stupid and pretty much already-aborted “call” to cap credit card rates at 10 percent – which he pledged to do on the 2024 campaign trail without even the slightest nod to the practicality or feasibility of such a policy – an anonymous House Republican felt brave enough to tell Trump, via NOTUS, to “stop proposing this populist shit.”

“If you shut the ability down to make money off the interest rates to protect against the default, then they’re gonna say, ‘well, we can’t have as much access to credit for all these people,'” the “senior GOP member” continued. “Access to credit is a huge deal, especially for people living paycheck to paycheck. It’s going to be a disaster for the economy because you’ll see consumer spending drop.”

A member of the House Financial Services committee said they “can’t figure out what the legal authority would be or how it would be implemented. Classic example of administration shooting from the hip,” all of this as if Trump hadn’t pledged this during the 2024 campaign, no doubt appealing to many voters with credit card debt who believed stupidly that Trump could actually follow through.

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Federal prosecutors charge 20 in NCAA basketball rigging scam

In an article woefully light on specifics but with potentially major implications, NBC News reports that 20 suspects have been indicted on rigging NCAA college basketball games in America and pro league games in China. Other than that the reporting is sourced from federal court filings unsealed Thursday in Philadelphia, no further details were included, but it would seem likely that the kind of douchebags who say “bracketology” with a straight face might be among the defendants.

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MAGA Congressman struggles to explain regime’s ICE narrative

Florida MAGA Congressman Mike Haridopolos didn’t do such a great job selling the narrative that ICE is terrorizing people in Minneapolis because some undocumented immigrants committed petty crimes and were released back into the community. It does not make any sense, especially when the deployment was supposed to be a Somali fraud crackdown or whatever the fuck it was.

Haridopolos then tried the “paid protestors” line. Probably why you’ve never heard of him before.

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Fat Hitler threatens to impose Insurrection Act on Minnesota

“If the corrupt politicians of Minnesota don’t obey the law and stop the professional agitators and insurrectionists from attacking the Patriots of ICE, who are only trying to do their job, I will institute the INSURRECTION ACT, which many Presidents have done before me, and quickly put an end to the travesty that is taking place in that once great State,” posted the Orange Fuhrer on Thursday.

Why threaten it and not just do it, you fat fuck. Show your ballsucking cultists you mean business and are as tought as you always pretended to be. You are a living god to them, so act like it.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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