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Fat president still screaming about “fake news” and shit

“The Fake News, as usual, is spreading false and completely unfounded rumors. I am extremely happy with the job that Pete Hegseth is doing. Everything has been extraordinary, including our attack on Venezuela, where the result was accomplished in less than one day, allowing us to bring one of the worst criminals anywhere in the World, Nicolas Maduro, to Justice! Likewise, Iran, where the country has been decimated for the purpose of NOT ALLOWING IT TO EVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON, is going very well! Pete is highly respected within the Military, and has made tremendous improvements, including getting rid of DEI, and increasing recruitment to historic levels. This rumor was started by The Washington ComPost, one of the worst Media Outlets in the business, despite our telling them their story is completely FALSE. In actuality, I really believe their fake ‘reporting’ is treasonous!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, still mad, still impotent.

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“How to Lose Friends and Antagonize Presidents” by Thom Tillis

Not-really-all-that brave or courageous Republican soon-to-be-ex-Senator Thomas Tillis has written a memoir of the last year or so since he gave up on his reelection campaign and all-but certainly handed a moderately-safe GOP seat over to the Democrats. That is seriously the title in the headline too and lol it sucks so much. Might as well make a few bucks in royalties despite that, right?

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Beaver attacks prompt closure of Maryland state park waterways

“The Maryland Department of Natural Resources is closing additional areas of Cunningham Falls State Park around Hunting Creek Lake after a fisherman reported that he was bitten on the leg by a beaver in the South Beach Day Use area of the park at about 9:30 am on Wednesday, August 5. The injured fisherman in today’s attack, a 19-year-old male, appeared to have sustained a bite to the ankle and transported himself to Meritus Medical Center in Hagerstown for treatment. Natural Resources Police will follow up after treatment to obtain additional information about the incident.”

“Following the attack, NRP officers caught and euthanized the beaver, which is being delivered to the Frederick County Health Department. The Maryland Department of Health’s laboratory will conduct rabies testing and expects to have results available later this week. This is the second incident of this nature at Cunningham Falls State Park within the past two weeks following a July 26 beaver attack on a 13 year-old swimmer. That beaver was caught, euthanized, and tested positive for rabies on July 27. In response to the second incident, the Maryland Park Service has closed the Houck Day Use Area, the adjacent boat ramp, and Big Hunting Creek above the Lake while the DNR Wildlife and Heritage Service continues to investigate a possible rabies outbreak within the local beaver population. Swimming, fishing, boating, and all water access are prohibited until the area can be confirmed safe for visitors. Other areas of the park, including the campground, remain open,” said the Maryland Department of Natural Resources in a press release on Wednesday.

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Bunnygate scandal continues to engulf Miller campaign

Continued: “Then, a man who is not on our approved list reaches out to me offering to come to my house to get the bunny, to which I said it was inappropriate of him to insert himself in family business and that I was waiting for you, @berniemoreno, like we agreed upon. My daughter got her bunny back in 14 hours, no thanks to you. Glad this made national news though.”

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Enraged Fuhrer vows “treasonous” leakers being “hunted down”

“The US has massive amounts of ‘munitions,’ especially of certain types. Additionally, large amounts are being manufactured and shipped to the US as needed. Defense companies are building the largest number of plants and factories in our country’s history. The ‘leakers’ of these treasonous statements are being hunted down. Long term jail sentences will be sought!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, responding reports that America’s arsenal has been depleted.

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Jon Husted has no opinion on Max Miller

“” said Republican Ohio Senator Jon Husted when asked by CNN’s Manu Raju if he had any comment on fellow MAGA Buckeye Max Miller’s increasingly perilous political position due to just being an absolute piece of shit. Or maybe Husted literally said “No comment” to Raju, who did not quote him.

Either way, it doesn’t mean that Husted, appointed to replace now Vice President JD Vance in early 2025, is in favor of domestic abuse or even disbelieves the allegations against Miller brought by his ex-wife, Emily Moreno, who also happens to be the daughter of Husted’s Senate partner, Bernie. In fact there’s no reason to doubt that in whatever private conversations he’s had with Bernie Moreno on the matter that Husted expressed sympathy as well as disgust and rage toward the younger and more belligerent member of their state’s Republican Congressional delegation. Nothing about what little really anyone knows about Jon Husted indicates that, despite his politics, he’s an amoral person who would abide child or spousal abuse, especially not as severe as that Miller is accused.

And yet not expressing any opinion on the matter when given the opportunity to simply say “Hey any time there’s a divorce and a toddler involved is a tragedy – irrespective of the validity of these very serious allegations – and my prayers are with my friend and colleague Bernie Moreno and his family during this time. I’m hoping they and Congressman Miller can find a way forward on what’s best for that little girl and, just as importantly, what’s best for the people of Ohio. That’s all I have to say right now as I’m looking forward to making sure Sherrod Brown stays unemployed after this November and I can continue fighting for Buckeyes” is itself kind of revelatory of Husted’s character.

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Fox News-brained senior citizen actually constitutionally empowered to follow through on his bullshit rants, doesn’t

“Wayne County (Detroit) in Michigan is one of the most corrupt voting areas in the United States, if not the World. It is strictly Third World! Miracles happen in Wayne County, including more votes being cast than there are voters, by a lot. Therefore, the Communist, who is not liked in Detroit, is potentially in ‘Vote Counter’ trouble. The Radical Left Socialist has a real shot, and don’t discount all of those fake mail-in ballots that will ‘surprisingly’ show up at the last moment. Get ready for another Rigged Election. In November we must VOTE FOR MIKE ROGERS, and make Michigan TOO BIG TO RIG. God Bless America! “ posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday morning.

Kind of funny how this is indistinguishable from your typical angry 80 year-old caucasian in words but not in context as there are plenty of options available to Trump in this “situation” – scare quotes applied because there is no situation – and he could order the Justice Department to sue the county to prove that there were fewer votes than registered voters, the FBI to raid the election offices, and so on and so forth. But he won’t do any of that because he’s lazy, impotent, and prefers whining and bitching about it on social media to taking action. It’s almost like all that AI slop depicting him as a strong a decisive leader who annihilates and dominates all of his enemies are complete bullshit.

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Patriot arrested outside of Trump’s California golf course

“On Sunday, August 2, 2026, at approximately 3:28 pm, deputies assigned to the Lomita Sheriff’s Station responded to Trump National Golf Course in Rancho Palos Verdes after plain clothes Federal agents reported a suspicious individual on the property. The individual was observed walking throughout the golf course grounds taking photographs and videos and appearing to monitor security-planning activities,” says the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office in a statement.

“Lomita Sheriff’s deputies contacted the individual, an adult male identified as 38-year-old Jeanine John Taele from Downey, and determined he was being investigated for robbery by the El Segundo Police Department. Deputies detained Taele and located his vehicle in a parking lot on the golf course. During the detention, deputies recovered a 16-round magazine containing hollow point ammunition from Taele’s pants pocket. Deputies subsequently searched Taele’s vehicle and recovered a loaded pistol with a round chambered, along with an additional loaded magazine containing hollow point ammunition. Taele was arrested for carrying a concealed firearm (25400(a)(1) PC) and Possession of Armor-Piercing/Prohibited Ammunition (31310 PC),” the statement continued and no, there was no lauding of Taele’s intent to stand up against oppression and evil.

No molon labe, shall not be abrogated, and all that other stuff about sometimes it’s necessary to freshen the roots of the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants. It’s almost like the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s deputies – many of them no doubt Republican voters and Fox News fans – are kind of selective when it comes to how people express their patriotism and love for America.

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DCCC adds another 12 seats to target list

The House Dems’ campaign arm have added another 12 seats to their target list for November, bringing the total districts for serious spending up to 58 total, Politico reports, citing a statement from chair Suzan DelBene. The 12 seats added for increased spending and support now include Lauren Boebert and Jeff Hurd in Colorado’s 3rd and 4th, Gus Bilirakis in Florida’s 12th, Mike Flood in Nebraska’s 1st, Nick LaLota in New York’s 1st, and three open seats: NV-2, NY-21, and TN-9.

“House Democrats are expanding the battlefield deep into Trump terrain because we have a winning message focused on fighting for an Affordable America. At the same time, MAGA Republicans who historically have considered themselves ‘safe’ have let down people they were elected to represent, passing disastrous policies that are crushing working families and our communities. Democrats are going to win in November and make Hakeem Jeffries the next Speaker of the House,” said DelBene.

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Chuck Edwards throws in the towel after Ethics finding

This McDouchebag was inappropriately gifting pistols to his young female aides.

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Abdul El-Sayed wins Michigan Dem Senate nomination

Calling it early on a 30-something percent lead at less than 10 percent reported: Progressive Abdul El-Sayed has defeated establishment-backed Congresswoman Haley Stevens for the Michigan Dem Senate nomination. Probably ends up squashing her. Any other year this would be a risky pick.

El-Sayed still is kind of a risky pick but this really is not looking to be a good year for MAGA.

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Stuffed toy bunny hostage situation, other matters, unresolved

Senator Bernie Moreno on Tuesday claimed that fellow Ohio Republican and ex-son-in-law Max Miller held a stuffed toy bunny hostage over the weekend, apparently Miller claiming dominion over Moreno’s granddaughter/Miller’s daughter’s favorite binky out of pettiness and hatred for his ex-wife, something Miller denied during an incredibly ill-advised appearance on Jake Tapper’s show.

And yeah, it got worse. Miller claimed his daughter never told Emily Moreno “Daddy kill you” as she’s not capable of it but that the girl is also afraid of Emily, so Tapper then pointed out that inconsistency in the girl’s maturity. Miller then claimed “due process.” So there’s that, and his ex-wife taking the girl to the hospital with a broken collarbone was a violation of their shared custody agreement. Miller just said that on live television, which was probably not a great idea either.

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Minnesota MAGA Congressman hints Tom Emmer possibly dying

With little in the way of context to go on other than that the comment was made with apparent dead seriousness during some kind of farm event, Minnesotan MAGA Congressman Pete Stauber on Tuesday admonished someone for some joke, saying “You have no idea what [fellow Minnesotan House Majoirty Whip Tom] Emmer is dealing with right now. If you did, you would’ve never made that comment. He’s fighting for his damn life today!” Stauber wagged his index finger throughout.

The clip by Lake Stater Aaron Rupar was not long and there’s no indication of what the joke actually was. Tom Emmer’s an insufferable wanker and he should resign, suffering illness or not.

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Box-o-Wine brought evidence to White House

White House sources tell CBS News that, in what could have been a fateful meeting, DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro on Monday brought boxes full of evidence exculpating David Hearn and the other defendants falsely accused of vandalizing convicted felon President Trump’s precious reflecting pool, apparently convincing the fat bastard that he was wrong.

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Max Miller asks House Ethics to investigate him

“In light of all the renewed interest in my family affairs I am going to file my own paperwork for an ethics investigation into myself to clear my name from these horrific attacks on myself and family. I have absolutely nothing to hide. We will be providing the committee all necessary documents needed for a detail examination. The accusations continue to change, but my facts stay the same. I am looking forward to my colleagues reading everything for themselves,” tweeted terrible human being Republican Ohio Congressman Max Miller on Tuesday. Bold move there Cotton.

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David Ellison bitches about antitrust lawsuits in NYT op-ed

“Many people have weighed in on Paramount’s agreement to acquire Warner Bros Discovery – media analysts, power brokers, political commentators, competitors and, of course, lawyers. For a transaction of this size, that is expected and appropriate. The one person you haven’t heard from is me. There is a reason for that. I believe that anyone who oversees a news organization – I am chief executive of Paramount, which owns CBS – shouldn’t put a finger on the scale, especially on matters involving his own company. So, when California’s attorney general, 11 other state attorneys general and, a day later, the Writers Guild of America sued to stop the deal, I stayed quiet. I quickly learned such restraint has costs. While I was silent, others were happy to write my story for me. No more.”

“I believe this fight is not really about market share. If it were, it wouldn’t have been reviewed and approved by regulators reflecting 65 countries, including the United States, the European Union and China. I believe a plainer worry sits beneath the briefs and the news releases: the news. The issue is whether I can be trusted as a steward of Warner’s CNN. There has been speculation about my politics, my loyalties, my intentions,” writes MAGA oligarch David Ellison in an NYT op-ed, and yeah, no shit the opposition is about CNN because he ruined CBS News and nobody wants to see the same thing happen to CNN.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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