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Indescribably incompetent FBI Director K$H Patel on Tuesday updated the American people as untold millions awaited breathlessly for something, anything on the whereabouts of abducted 84 year-old Arizona woman Nancy Guthrie, mother of some longtime network morning show host Samanth- sorry, Savannah Guthrie, with K$H posting “Over the last eight days, the FBI and Pima County Sheriff’s Department have been working closely with our private sector partners to continue to recover any images or video footage from Nancy Guthrie’s home that may have been lost, corrupted, or inaccessible due to a variety of factors – including the removal of recording devices.”

“The video was recovered from residual data located in backend systems,” K$H said, nine days after Nancy was kidnapped from her home. God knows how many fucking hours have been spent on this by the director of the agency formed to take down infamously violent bank robbers, powerful mafia syndicates, Nazi saboteurs, and Soviet fifth columnists. All sincere prayers and best wishes to the Guthrie family with the possible exception of some shithead nephew or cousin trying to shake down a highly-paid TV host for what CNN reports is a $6 million ransom demand. Who knows who it was but just the headline basics of the story point to a knowledgeable inside job. In any case they he/they have something seriously fucking wrong with them to be holding an old lady hostage.

Not as wrong but still disquieting is the frenzy around this, with or without K$H introducing his boyish amateurism to previously unfamiliar demos. That goddamned Nancy Grace came out of semi-retirement says it all about how much bandwidth – that could be shared with so many more innocent souls also abducted by violent, masked men – is just going to one medium-profile victim.

🚨 BOOM! 🚨 THIS WEEK’S ECONOMIST/YOUGOV NATIONAL SURVey shows a noticeable shift in the preference of independent voters – that exists in a liminal space where the readers who mock the generic ballot findings need to be acknowledged before any such coverage can be justified.

Ready? In October the pollsters found 46 percent of indies saying “I would not vote,” when asked “If the elections for US Congress were being held today, who would you vote for in the district where you live?” a stat seen by this site as a possible leading indicator of broad turnout collapse – which probably wouldn’t be a bad thing when Dems have the corner on propensity. Not voting led “Not Sure” at 28 percent, followed by Ds in third at 15 percent, and then the GOP dead last at 8 percent.

That’s changed. “I would not vote” still leads at 33 percent, but this week Dems are in second at 27 percent, then the Not Sures at 25, and Republicans last again at 12 percent. Now circumspection in everything, doubly so in American election polling, triply so on the fucking generic ballot that many dismiss. Yet that kind of movement if not the numbers themselves still merits attention as it speaks to the end of what seemed to be a mass checking-out on the part of the irritable middle, their hazy twilight roused not by “Trantifa” rogues burning Portland to the ground for real this time or some other MAGA daydream spank material. It would seem that it was moments like their fellow citizens getting shot dead in the street like dogs, children being held hostage by masked man-boys, kind souls bound to undocumented coils caged and concentrated in camps, and far too many other atrocities big and small, all wrought simply because Stephen Miller was a virgin until he was 23.

Roused they seem, if judging solely by the disproportionate assortation of stated intent. 🚨 WOW 🚨

In a world defined by mankind’s panoply of modern technological advantages over the lethal threats the animal kingdom still poses – from firearms to bear spray to dynamite to electric cattle prods – it can be easy to forget just how often the solutions to the hazards faunae pose can be found in the simplest of tools, ones that have existed in some form or another since time immemorial.

A publicly-unnamed Victoria, Australia man no doubt has a newfound appreciation for one such tried and true implement, the humble shovel, as 9News reports it was deployed to great and lifesaving effect against a kangaroo that was savagely beating the shit out of his friend, identified only as Col.

Col, a retired farmer, briefly offhand described to 3AW radio the shovel’s effectiveness at striking and thus scaring off the hopping mad marsupial and ending the unfortunate encounter as his friend intervened. “He embarrassingly kicked me in the arse and I’ve got a big hole on the arse cheek,” Col said of just one of the multiple injuries suffered before the shovel worked its magic. The beast also drove a toe claw three inches into Col’s gut and left a large gash on his scalp, among other wounds treated by doctors instead of noted by a coroner – all thanks to a good guy with a shovel.

The chiefs of ICE, CBP, and USCIS will sit in the frying pan in front of the House Homeland Security Committee on Tuesday in what’s sure to be a freaking nightmare of a hearing for them.

Madagascar’s ruling junta leader Col Michael Randrianirina lost his shit Monday over a pic of ousted President Andry Rajoelina being welcomed to Eswatini Friday by the small continental African monarchy’s King Mswati III, with Randrianirina issuing his “strongest condemnation” and calling the visit “politically unacceptable,” the BBC reports on someone sounding a bit insecure.

Randrianirina’s statement also made prominent mention of the fact that Rajoelina, who was ousted late last year after deadly civil unrest forced the coup, surrendered his Madagascan citizenship by becoming a citizen of another country, even further distancing the failed leader from any hope of returning to power. “I’m not mad. Please don’t put in the newspaper that I got mad,” the colonel might as well have said. Seriously, who’s re-legitimizing Rajoelina more, Mswati or the literally unelected self-proclaimed leader of a military junta that deposed him four months ago freaking the fuck out over a landed baron receiving a failed and unpopular itinerant? Christ, what an asshole.

From the intro to Tuesday’s ruling by Trump-appointed Michigan federal Judge Hala Jarbou, saying straight up the Orange Overlord’s regime has no legal claim to the state’s voter rolls:

“This is one of over two dozen lawsuits that the United States has recently brought seeking voter registration data from states and localities. This particular case arose after the United States Department of Justice (DOJ) requested that the State of Michigan turn over its electronic statewide voter registration list. Michigan turned over a partial list that omitted certain fields containing voters’ personal information. The United States subsequently brought this lawsuit to compel disclosure of the full list, citing its authority under provisions of the Help America Vote Act (HAVA), 52 USC § 21083, the National Voter Registration Act (NVRA), 52 USC § 20507, and the Civil Rights Act of 1960 (CRA), 52 USC § 20703. The Court has allowed the Michigan Alliance of Retired Americans and two individuals to intervene as defendants in this action. (See ECF No 46.) Before the Court are two motions to dismiss for failure to state a claim: one filed by Defendants Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson and the State of Michigan (ECF No 38), and the other filed by the Intervenor-Defendants (ECF No 47). As explained below, the Court concludes that (1) HAVA does not require the disclosure of any records, (2) the NVRA does not require the disclosure of voter registration lists because they are not records concerning the implementation of list maintenance procedures, and (3) the CRA does not require the disclosure of voter registration lists because they are not documents that come into the possession of election officials. Thus, the Court will grant the motions to dismiss.”

If a mental patient like Peter Navarro’s saying the Wednesday jobs report is going to be bad while limp dickedly claiming something something deportations, then yeah it’s going to be worse.

No one alive today can be said to have truly blown open the Jeffrey Epstein shitsow more than the Miami Herald’s Julie K Brown, whose 2019 pieces led to Alex Acosta’s downfall, Jeff’s second federal indictment, and then his suicide-ish death in the Manhattan federal lockup. As such, her years of work and encyclopedic knowledge of all the players involved equipped her with the knowledge to effectively search the context-free dumps of millions of files in the Justice Department’s possession, revealing one in particular that, in retrospect, Todd Blanche just might’ve wanted to hang on to:

The FBI’s October 2019 interview with retired Palm Beach, Florida Police Department Chief Michael Reiter, who told agents that in 2006 – right as it became public that law enforcement were starting to build their first case against Dirty Jeff – Trump called him to say “Thank goodness you’re stopping him, everyone has known he’s been doing this.” Which sort of implodes the fat bastard’s 2019 assertions that he “had no idea. I had no idea” that his ex-bestie was trafficking underage girls.

It gets even more consciousness of guilt-y. Reiter told agents that Trump had told him that “he was around Epstein once when teenagers were present and Trump ‘got the hell out of there.'” It’s not clear from the FBI’s interview brief (not a transcript) the level of solicitation that preceded that awfully specific claim, but keep in mind that Trump called Reiter to talk to him about Epstein. This wasn’t them chatting idly on the golf course or whatever, but an otherwise unprompted phone call.

Still it gets even more damning: Of Ghislaine Maxwell, the convicted sex offender now kept in protective bubble wrap at Club Fed for having told Blanche that Trump never did anything inappropriate around her (she also said the same thing about Jeff), Reiter told agents that Donald said Ghislaine was Jeff’s “operative,” and “she is evil and to focus on her.” Good call, fatass.

“We at DinoCon take the safety of our attendees, speakers, and staff very seriously. As a result of the release of half of the Epstein files, it has come to light that a select number of scientists, authors, and researchers relevant to the field of palaeontology allegedly engaged in correspondence with members of the Epstein organisation after the conviction of Jeffrey Epstein. We want to state that all respective individuals are banned from all of our events,” said the UK’s DinoCon on Monday.

“Additionally, we find it deplorable that some established palaeontological organisations are not taking firm action to protect their members in light of these allegations. As such, executive committee members from organisations that are not issuing public bans to these individuals are also banned from our events. We do not tolerate those who allow this behaviour to go unchallenged within our community,” the organization continued in their statement condemning Velocirapetors.

Maybe the time for convicted felon President Trump to throw a shit fit over the material sourcing for the bridge was literally what’ll be nine fucking years ago exactly on Friday when he and then-Canadian “Governor” Justin Trudeau issued a joint statement saying “In particular, we look forward to the expeditious completion of the Gordie Howe International Bridge, which will serve as a vital economic link between our two countries,” and not Monday when it’s already completed and mere weeks away from opening to traffic. Given that setting, there was no way Fox Business Newsidiot Maria Bartiromo could throw it as a softball to US trade gauleiter Jameson Greer. There was still good form to his swing on the whiff, right up until he lost his grip and flung the bat into the stands.

“On Friday, Freedom of the Press Foundation (FPF) filed an attorney disciplinary complaint against Gordon Kromberg, the federal prosecutor who reviewed and signed the search warrant application targeting Washington Post reporter Hannah Natanson. The complaint notes that Kromberg appears to have violated an ethical rule that requires lawyers to reveal relevant legal authority to the court, even if it undermines their arguments. Recently unsealed court records disclose what many suspected: The government failed to alert the court that authorized the warrant to the Privacy Protection Act of 1980, a federal law that, in most cases, forbids the use of search warrants for journalistic work product and documentary materials,” says a Monday release from the Freedom of the Press Foundation, raising the question of why other outside groups haven’t been doing the same to Pam Bondi, K$H, Todd Blanche, Jaydee, and all the other unethical worms in the Trump regime.

Telling Putin regime state media that they “⁠don’t see any ‌bright future in the economic sphere,” Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov on Monday seemed pretty lukecold to convicted felon President Trump’s moronic insistence on increasing trade between the US and the vast, frozen, polluted wasteland on the other side of the globe, Reuters reports on a “no shit” kind of conclusion.

Russia’s economy is half the size of California’s and in 2016 trade between the two countries amounted to $5.8 billion in US exports to Russia and $14.5 billion in Russian exports to the US. If that sounds like a lot then compare it to the US-China trade relationship that same year, which was 29 times larger at $115.6 billion US-to-China exports and $481.3 billion in China-US exports.

Thus unless there’s a monster viral marketing campaign in the works to increase American reliance on cheap, shitty vodka with just a hint of anti-freeze flavor then Lavrov’s got the right idea.

When Democrats OPENED up the voter rolls for anyone to sign up, that’s how we got ILLEGALS voting in ELECTIONS.

VOTER FRAUD is a real PROBLEM, and we must tackle it NOW.

Americans deserve to have CONFIDENCE in their elections. pic.twitter.com/Tvj8vfGcEM

— Congressman Randy Fine (@RepFine) February 9, 2026

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is set to make a determination that greenhouse gas emissions no longer are a threat to public health, EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin tells the Wall Street Journal, adding that the move ” amounts to the largest act of deregulation in the history of the United States,” and a reversal of the Obama Administration’s 2009 finding that said emissions are, in fact, a threat to public health. It’s not clear if/when a similar determination will be made for arsenic.

The massive, 6 to 12 inch thick ice sheet that presently covers a good 95 percent of Lake Erie just fucking cracked in half on Sunday, rent by fierce northerly winds after apparently getting snagged on the Long Point peninsula in Ontario where the rupture opened and spread down to somewhere in the vicinity of Cleveland, Accuweather reports without any mention of casualties from the split.

That means there probably weren’t any locals driving snowmobiles or ice fishing or just out for a stroll getting some fresh air out on the frozen inland sea who were swallowed up. Probably.

A top political thought leader was able to spare time for an interview on a highly-rated, nationally-broadcast news commentary program on Monday. Speaking jovially with the host, an accomplished woman whose resume includes licensed attorney who previously clerked for a Supreme Court justice and authored no fewer than six books – two of which were New York Times bestsellers, the guest commentator shared his insights into distinct set of affairs of timely interest to the audience.

Sadly the commentator, a traveling bardsman by trade, did not offer any details into the inspiration behind his timeless prose of “Young ladies, young ladies – I like ’em underage, see – Some say that’s statutory – But I say it’s mandatory,” from the poem “Cool Daddy Cool” a quarter century hence.

Sheesh! Talk about embarrassing! New Orleans CBS 4WWL reports a Louisiana National Guard soldier left his fully automatic and loaded AR-15 service weapon, a merciless weapon of war capable of turning a human skull into a jelly-like pulp, leaning next to the sink after answering the call of nature in the restroom of the Lafitte Hotel on the French Quarter’s world-famous Bourbon Street.

Lucky for him he didn’t forget anything that important to preventing another deadly ISIS-inspired lone wolf domestic terrorist attack! Maybe he was distracted – hey you would be too if you unzipped and first thing you notice is some odd colorful spots that weren’t there last night before you visited the bordello! You’d think he’d get a second opinion from a medic before he rushed outside to hire a trumpeter to play “Taps” to honor the memory of the fallen “Pvt Parts”! And how about some sympathy for the fella who stepped into the men’s room and found the rifle sitting there? “Whoa, I just came to lick the floor in my underwear while Sepulchra hocks, spits on me, and whips my back with a frayed electric cord. I’m not paying extra for her to fire that thing a half-inch from my ear!”

Hey folks give it up for the Louisiana National Guard, who say they’re investigating the member and will deal with the matter internally. Maybe they’ll award a Purple Heart for his purple member!

Old Man Trump is agitated and posting nonsense on social media again, writing “As everyone knows, the Country of Canada has treated the United States very unfairly for decades. Now, things are turning around for the USA, and FAST! But imagine, Canada is building a massive bridge between Ontario and Michigan. They own both the Canada and the United States side and, of course, built it with virtually no US content. President Barack Hussein Obama stupidly gave them a waiver so they could get around the BUY AMERICAN Act, and not use any American products, including our Steel.”

“Now, the Canadian Government expects me, as President of the United States, to PERMIT them to just ‘take advantage of America!’ What does the United States of America get – Absolutely NOTHING! Ontario won’t even put US spirits, beverages, and other alcoholic products, on their shelves, they are absolutely prohibited from doing so and now, on top of everything else, Prime Minister Carney wants to make a deal with China – which will eat Canada alive. We’ll just get the leftovers! I don’t think so. The first thing China will do is terminate ALL Ice Hockey being played in Canada, and permanently eliminate The Stanley Cup,” the gravely ill old man continued in his screed.

Then in the next sentence he already forgot about China and hockey, writing “The Tariffs Canada charges us for our Dairy products have, for many years, been unacceptable, putting our Farmers at great financial risk. I will not allow this bridge to open until the United States is fully compensated for everything we have given them, and also, importantly, Canada treats the United States with the Fairness and Respect that we deserve. We will start negotiations, IMMEDIATELY. With all that we have given them, we should own, perhaps, at least one half of this asset. The revenues generated because of the US Market will be astronomical. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

BREAKING: I’m honored to be endorsed by Turning Point Action.
 
The movement that Charlie Kirk built has inspired millions, and I’m proud to be standing alongside Turning Point Action in carrying on the fight to save this country and defend our freedoms. pic.twitter.com/cIxvNuUtR0

— Attorney General Ken Paxton (@KenPaxtonTX) February 9, 2026