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A mediator has proposed that convicted felon President Trump and Paramount Global settle his batshit stupid lawsuit over a CBS News 60 Minutes interview with former Vice President Kamala Harris for $20 million, the Wall Street Journal reports on more of this insufferable circlejerk.

“Natasha Bertrand should be FIRED from CNN! I watched her for three days doing Fake News. She should be IMMEDIATELY reprimanded, and then thrown out ‘like a dog.’ She lied on the Laptop from Hell Story, and now she lied on the Nuclear Sites Story, attempting to destroy our Patriot Pilots by making them look bad when, in fact, they did a GREAT job and hit ‘pay dirt’ – TOTAL OBLITERATION!”

“She should not be allowed to work at Fake News CNN. It’s people like her who destroyed the reputation of a once great Network. Her slant was so obviously negative, besides, she doesn’t have what it takes to be an on camera correspondent, not even close. FIRE NATASHA!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, continuing his freakout over the intel report.

If you didn’t know any better you might think that fatass is trying to get Bertrand killed. Since you do know better you know that he definitely would not mind at all if one of his fanboys killed her.

“According to the assessment of senior Intelligence Directorate officials, the damage to the nuclear program is not surgical but systemic – the cumulative achievement allows us to state that the Iranian nuclear project has suffered severe, wide-ranging, and deep damage, setting it back by years. We will not allow Iran to produce weapons of mass destruction,” says an official attributed only as the “Israeli chief of staff” in a post by Ynet columnist Nadav Eyal. Well at least it says “years” and not “months” like the American one that made convicted felon President Trump melt the fuck down.

Global fast-food giant McDonald’s next Happy Meal theme will celebrate a marketing partnership with Global fast-food giant McDonald’s, the company announced on Wednesday as they unveiled a new line of Happy Meal toys inspired by McDonald’s, available at your local McDonald’s July 1st through August 11th. “A McDonald’s Happy Meal has always been more than just a meal – it’s a joyful tradition that creates lasting memories for both kids and adults alike,” said Anna Engel, Director of Marketing, Brand, Content and Culture for McDonald’s USA. “As a parent, there’s something magical about watching your child’s imagination come to life with these tiny toys. That’s what makes Lil McDonald’s so special. It brings back my own childhood memories of playing McDonald’s and now I get to create new ones with my kids,” Engel continued about the McOuroboros she created.

At least five of the plastic objects pictured in the lineup are Happy Meal boxes themselves, meaning that within the cardboard Happy Meal box and another wrapping there will just be a smaller version of the same. It’s possible there are plastic chicken McNuggets available too.

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is expected on Wednesday to approve a plan to stand up, with the Council of Europe, a new specialized international court to prosecute Russian dictator Vladimir Putin and his minions for invading their smaller, democratic neighbor, the AP reports.

“We just caught the Failing New York Times, working with Fake News CNN, cheating again! They tried to demean the great work our B-2 pilots did, and they were wrong in doing so. These reporters are just BAD AND SICK PEOPLE. You would think they would be proud of the great success we had, instead of trying to always make our Country look bad. TOTAL OBLITERATION!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, not elaborating on what “caught” means or entails.

It might also help to make his arguments more convincing if he didn’t sound like a total cunt.

Lifeguard impaled by umbrella at Jersey Shore in gruesome scene https://t.co/sNWKaLWms8 pic.twitter.com/j0DLncJBuP

— New York Post (@nypost) June 25, 2025

Per ABC 7 the female lifeguard was impaled through the shoulder and was hospitalized for surgery to remove it on Wednesday morning. Hopefully there’s no permanent damage. It’s unclear if the umbrella’s canvas bore an American flag-themed pattern to it.

“For Wall Street, it’s not just about Mamdani – some fear a broader rise of socialism could destabilize markets and the economy,” writes champagne class bullet point factory Axios in another one of their PowerPoint presentations about the NYC Mayor-all-but-elect Zohran Mamdani.

“If you have a super high profile socialist mayor creating all types of new government entitlements, taxes, you know, big anti-capitalism sort of campaign… that reverberates everywhere and that generally puts pressure on markets,” Axios quotes Bradley Tusk, CEO of Tusk Ventures.

Lol. Like it’s guy’s name but still it’s not exactly a subtle one for an ultracapitalist outfit.

Some choice cuts of bullshit from a resolution introduced Wednesday by Ohio Senator Bernie “M4M” Moreno calling on the Nobel Committee to award convicted felon President Trump the peace prize:

“Whereas President Obama reportedly told members of his senior staff, ‘Turns out I’m really good at killing people. Didn’t know that was gonna be a strong suit of mine’… Whereas killing hundreds of civilians should disqualify someone from receiving the Nobel Peace Prize… Whereas President Donald John Trump made a good faith attempt at diplomatic negotiations to end the Iranian threat after assuming office in 2025; Whereas Iran refused to negotiate on its nuclear program in good faith… Whereas the greatest ally of the United States, Israel, was left with no choice but to unilaterally end the Iranian nuclear threat; Whereas the only action ordered by President Trump was a precision strike on 3 nuclear sites in Iran,” and there’s three pages of this shit, but here’s the end:

“Whereas President Trump has shown the world that peace through strength is the antidote to forever wars: Now, therefore, be it resolved, that the Senate calls on the Norwegian Nobel Committee to award President Donald John Trump the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize; urges all peace-loving nations to join in that call; and expresses its deepest appreciation to President Trump for bringing an end both to the nuclear program of Iran and hostilities related thereto in only 12 days.”

Moreno, as a member of a national legislator, is a qualified nominator to the Nobel Committee, and could’ve just submitted a formal nod himself, but since that Buddy Carter ballsucker already did it this week it appears that this was Moreno’s best idea on how to “one-up” Carter, even though in reality this is as meaningful as simply tweeting that Trump should win the Nobel.

Jesus Dork House Speaker Mike Johnson has been privately warning the Senate GOP that the upper chamber’s revisions to the Big Beautiful Bill are going to cost him the speakership, Politico reports in a brief item that does not make any mention at all of the possibility that Johnson would refuse to bring it to a re-vote but just suck it up and let the cards fall as they may.

Wednesday’s a big day for creepy looking weirdo former Trump defense lawyer-turned Acting Deputy Attorney General-turned US Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit nominee Emil Bove, who’s going to face some rather tough questions about his actions inside the Justice Department in recent months, especially that it’s coming less than 24 hours after the New York Times reported he kind of told subordinates that they should ignore court orders on deportations. You might call that a big no-no in the legal profession, that it’s basically the same as a criminal defendant removing an ankle monitor or fleeing house arrest or beating the shit out of his defense lawyer in the courtroom.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is planning to dismiss asylum claims for potentially hundreds of thousands of migrants and make them immediately subject to deportation in order to meet its own self-imposed targets of 3,000 removals per day, CNN reports on more of this shit.

It’s yet another sign of the laziness and impotence of this administration, that they want to hit their numbers but don’t want to put the actual hard work in tracking down actual illegals, so instead they find these people in grey areas to yank their status and target them for removals.

A very barbarian-esque social media influencer who goes by “Liver King” and posts videos of himself consuming raw meat on social media was arrested Wednesday by cops in Austin, Texas on charges of misdemeanor terroristic threats a day after he challenged fellow internet meathead Joe Rogan to a fight, KXAN reports while cautioning that the correlation in timing is not causation.

Liver King, real name Brian Johnson, said “Joe Rogan, I’m calling you out, my name’s Liver King. Man to man, I’m picking a fight with you. I have no training in Jiu-jitsu, you’re a black belt, you should dismantle me. But I’m picking a fight with you. Your rules, I’ll come to you, whenever you’re ready,” in the Monday Instagram post. Cops have yet to confirm whether this was indeed the “threat” that got Johnson arrested or Rogan was the intended victim. A challenge to a fight does not seem like it should necessarily be a threat, let alone a terroristic one, but that it was charged as a misdemeanor could be an indication that Rogan really did report it to police and got this other asshole arrested.

Convicted felon President Trump, extremely cranky over the leak of an intel report determining that the Iranian nuclear program was set back mere months, will address media after the NATO summit in the Netherlands where he surely acted like a complete asshole to the other leaders present.

Three men convicted of collaborating with Israel were Mike Penced on Tuesday, sent to the gallows for allegedly cooperating with the Mossad spy agency and smuggling equipment used in an assassination of an unnamed official on an unspecified date, Reuters reports.

Norwegian tourist Mads Mikkelsen – not to be confused with Casino Royale and Star Wars Rogue One actor of the same name – told an outlet in his native country that Border Patrol agents on June 11th turned him back because they found the above bald JD Vance meme on his phone, the Daily Mail reported on Tuesday. The 21 year-old told Nordlys he was subjected to “abuse of power and harassment… They asked questions about drug trafficking, terrorist plots and right-wing extremism totally without reason” and threatened him with five years in the joint and/or a $5,000 fine if he didn’t unlock his phone… where they found the Photoshopped version of the vice president.

Mikkelson was promptly turned around and sent back to Norway on another flight.

A British wildlife sanctuary’s two rescue bears, 4 year-old sisters Mish and Lucy, broke out of their enclosure and into the food stash on Monday, where they proceeded to absolutely annihilate seven days’ worth of their snacks – mostly honey. CBS News reports the carb overload made them sleepy, docile, and easy to return to their enclosure, where they promptly passed the fuck out.

“Our experienced keeping team acted immediately, following established safety protocols, and successfully used recall training to encourage both bears back into their enclosure without the need for any intervention,” said Wildwood Devon in a statement after the incident. “This was an isolated incident, and we are conducting a full internal investigation to understand exactly how it happened and to ensure robust measures are in place to prevent a reoccurrence,” the park wrote on Facebook. “While the structural integrity of the bear enclosure remains uncompromised, we take any operational lapse extremely seriously.” Cops are investigating the escape as per procedure.

Mish and Lucy are not “zoo animals” but rescues who were abandoned by their mother in a snowdrift in the mountains of Albania in 2021. There were multiple attempts to reintroduce them to the wild but it became clear to conservationists that they would not survive on their own, so they live out their days on the 40 acre preserve populated by other bears, wolves and arctic foxes.

An anonymous Dem strategist kind of freaked the fuck out over socialist Zohran Mamdani effectively becoming Mayor-Elect of New York City, telling Politico Playbook “It is extremely alarming that the only candidates who genuinely excite our voters are the ones making absolutely insane promises on politically toxic positions. Leaving us in the spot of trying to execute on bad policy and losing terribly, or failing to keep our promises and reinforcing the idea that all politics is bullshit.”

Okayyyy… You know maybe the standard-bearer for the centrist Dems could’ve been someone other than the former governor who resigned in disgrace after being accused of sexually harassing 13 women and a whole bunch of other shady shit after more than 10 years in office. And whether or not Mamdani was “making absolutely insane promises” when his whole campaign was about the cost of living it’s worth raising the question of why only a Dem is supposed to be penalized for that. There’s a certain other New York City-born politician who did the same thing and has yet to pay a price for failing to deliver on it. As long as he’s seen as trying to do so his voters still support him.

And on that note, as much as Republicans nationwide are going to start running against Mamdani the way they did with AOC, can anyone honestly say his win was a localized pendulum swing from November 2024? It’s very hard to see Mamdani not in the same spot anyway if Harris had won.

DOGE incel/former cybercriminal Edward “Big Balls” Coristine, 19, has resigned from his post fucking up the federal government in the General Services Administration, Wired reports.