Category: Uncategorized

Federal prosecutors in Minnesota on Sunday moved to prevent the release of pedophile Republican now-former state Senator Justin Eichorn after FBI agents spotted a woman trying to enter the St Paul apartment he used while in town during legislative sessions, attempting to retrieve a laptop she claimed “she used for her business,” and refused to speak further with agents, Fox 9 reports.

Prosectors told the judge this was Eichorn “orchestrat[ing] an effort to retrieve a computer from his St Paul apartment to deprive investigators of the opportunity to examine it,” and yeah that sure sounds very obstruction of justice-y. The filing also included a transcript of a jailhouse phone call between Eichorn and the woman (who’s probably his wife) in which he said, among other possibly further incriminating shit, “You don’t even need—you can just use – if you have your computer, you don’t even need the apartment one. Because it’s all online. And then…”

“Nobody likes a bad picture or painting of themselves, but the one in Colorado, in the State Capitol, put up by the Governor, along with all other Presidents, was purposefully distorted to a level that even I, perhaps, have never seen before. The artist also did President Obama, and he looks wonderful, but the one on me is truly the worst. She must have lost her talent as she got older.”

“In any event, I would much prefer not having a picture than having this one, but many people from Colorado have called and written to complain. In fact, they are actually angry about it! I am speaking on their behalf to the Radical Left Governor, Jared Polis, who is extremely weak on Crime, in particular with respect to Tren de Aragua, which practically took over Aurora (Don’t worry, we saved it!), to take it down. Jared should be ashamed of himself!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, lol. He did not name any of the “many people” who have been complaining about it.

Looking to capitalize on a rebound for the Liberal Party ahead of an October deadline for national elections, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney on Sunday called a snap election for April 28th, the CBC reports, adding that their poll aggregator finds the Libs with a roughly 75 percent chance of gaining seats as convicted felon President Trump threatens Tim Hortonsland.

“I’m asking Canadians for a strong, positive mandate to deal with President [Donald] Trump and to build a new Canadian economy that works for everyone because I know we need change,” said Carney after formally requesting Governor General Mary Simon to dissolve Parliament.

Many of those doing these “takedowns” have also sold Tesla stock short, so they benefit financially from a drop in the stock https://t.co/ZuIQetATkS

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 23, 2025

“In the Great State of Wisconsin, a Radical Left Democrat, one who is insistent on bringing hardened CRIMINALS, that we removed to far away places, back into our Country, allowing men into women’s sports, Open Borders, and more, is running against a strong, Common Sense Republican, JUST CALL HIM BRAD, for the Wisconsin Supreme Court. It’s a really big and important race, and could have much to do with the future of our Country. Get out and VOTE, NOW, for the Republican Candidate — BRAD!!!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Sunday, pushing hard to help former Cheesehead Attorney General Brad Schimel who, in 2013 while serving as Waukesha DA, took a bribe to go easy on a man who pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography.

“TRUTH (Social) is on ‘FIRE’ (in a positive way, of course!). It is my Voice, and the Real Voice of America. Sign up TODAY, I have never let you down!” the fat bastard wrote in another post and then it was “I LOVE $TRUMP – SO COOL!!! The Greatest of them all!” to hype his egregious crypto scam.

Nobody’s calling on heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis to resign while wildfires tear through south Florida, consuming at least 28,695 acres as of Sunday morning. Nobody’s screaming at him to turn the water on and get it pumping from Georgia. Nobody’s blaming his policies for this disaster. Nobody’s saying “DEI” or a butch lesbian fire chief had anything to do with it.

Ron DeSantis can just continue doing his thing, unquestioned about his handling of the fires.

Citing their sources at a “Swiss think tank” who in turn cite their sources in the American intel community, the Gateway Pundit claims that former Secretary of State Antony Blinken and his top deputy James O’Brien are under investigation by the Trump Administration for their role in supposedly having pressured the Romanian judiciary into overturning the first round of the December presidential election in which Russian-backed extremist white nationalist Calin Georgescu took first place and Georgescu’s subsequent ban from running on account of his Russian ties.

“The court justified its unprecedented decision – denounced by critics as a democracy-killing coup d’état – by citing alleged ‘Russian interference’ and claiming that front-runner Calin Georgescu had benefited from Moscow’s online influence operations. However, critics contend that no concrete evidence has been presented to substantiate these allegations, further deepening public skepticism and fueling political unrest,” the Pundit writes while not being all that specific about the allegations against Blinken, who was still the Secretary of State at the time of the December 6th, 2024 election.

Nowhere in the article does it mention that the Trump Regime exerted pressure on Romania to give credibly accused sex trafficker Andrew Tate and his shithead brother back their passports, but it’s silly to expect any sort of consistency to the cuntish virtue signaling from the Pundit. Then again it’s not really the same thing since that was interfering in their criminal justice system while the Biden Administration was (allegedly) interfering in their election system through Blinken’s “pressure.”

Anyway, just read the article and, in your head, replace every reference to Russia with “ISIS,” “China,” or “Iran” to understand the moral position of the Gateway Pundit on this matter.

DOGE incel Social Security Administration chief Leland Dudek on Friday evening did a 180 on his earlier threat to completely brick the system and halt payments to recipients, telling the Washington Post in a follow-up interview that “The president is committed to keeping the Social Security offices open to serve the public,” which is complete bullshit because they’re still shutting down a ton of offices but anyway Dudek continued, saying the Orange God Emperor or one of his top minions called to “let me know it’s important to reaffirm to the public that we’re open for business. The White House did remind me that I was out of line and so did the judge. And I appreciate that.”

So yeah, they probably threatened to send the Proud Boys to hack him to death with pickaxes, burn his house down, and salt the earth underneath for being too loud about the quiet part.

“While the State of Maine has apologized for their Governor’s strong, but totally incorrect, statement about men playing in women’s sports while at the White House House Governor’s Conference, we have not heard from the Governor herself, and she is the one that matters in such cases. Therefore, we need a full throated apology from the Governor herself, and a statement that she will never make such an unlawful challenge to the Federal Government again, before this case can be settled. I’m sure she will be able to do that quite easily,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday.

Do any Star Trek purists hate this movie? Why? What’s wrong with it? Is Chris Pine not an authentic Captain Kirk? Did they get some other detail wrong? What’s the matter with it?

DOGE incel Social Security Administration chief Leland Dudek tells the Washington Post he’s “consulting” with the Justice Department to ask whether he can simply shut down the entire agency after a federal judge ordered a total halt to any activity by DOGE affiliates in accessing personally identifiable information, something the Musk fanboy claims now applies to the entire agency.

“Everything in this agency is” personally identifiable information, Dudek said. “Unless I get clarification, I’ll just start to shut it down. I don’t have much of a choice here,” he continued, obviously his own take on the “malicious compliance” thing that Sean Parnell Pentagon spokestwat was crying about in completely different federal department this morning. It should’ve been clear enough that the order was for to him to act as if none of this MAGA bullshit ever happened and stay the hell out of the Social Security database, but here we are with an incel trying to brick it all.

National Zero’s editorial position is do it, you pussy. Do it now and do not turn it back on (if that would even be possible) until well into next month, after millions of payments are missed. There’s all this waste, fraud, and abuse in the system, right? The only way to stop that completely is to end Social Security, so do it. Quit fucking around and show us what you’re made of, you boy.

Smart the way he frames it as a rugged, tough, patriotic thing to not complain if – probably when – this ends up happening. This is why Lutnick is allowed to grift the big bucks.

From Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry’s Thursday state of emergency declaration over software issues at the “OMV,” which is Louisianan for “DMV”: “WHEREAS, the OMV has consistently experienced system outages, leading to the closure of field offices and preventing public tag agents from processing driver’s licenses, vehicle registrations, and reinstatement transactions; WHEREAS, the OMV application and database are over 50 years old and operate on more than 400 programs written in a programming language that is over 60 years old, making support options both limited and costly due to its outdated and complex nature,” and blah blah blah lots of angry bitching.

Yes, this seems exceedingly dry even for filler at National Zero. Yes, it’s so on-brand for a Republican politician to act like such a drama queen over the realities of inertia in the real world after having campaigned on easy fixes. The state of emergency does at least actually waive late fees for expired registrations and maybe declaring it was the only legal way to do that, but whatever.

It’s not the declaration that’s newsworthy so much as the armageddon of embarrassment that a crisis in the state’s “OMV” platform could unleash, all foretold in a silly “MAGA Land” article here from a few months ago: Masturbators in Louisiana need to install and link their ID to the state’s driver’s license app, a fancy new piece of technology that, according to Landry, apparently sits on top of a house of COBOL cards built in the 1970s. There’s no direct unambiguous mention of cybersecurity in the declaration but just given the whole setup, there’s a non-zero chance that either now when the “crisis” point has hit or soon when state IT personnel start mainlining Vyvanse and Red Bull to unfuck the system, that there’s going to be some breach exposing which license holders used it to access porn, maybe even what their tastes are. Maybe we’ll see what Mike Johnson’s son already has via CovenantEyes. Maybe Clay Higgins’s kinks will surface. Maybe we don’t want to know.

“Congressman Comer and his staff are always accessible and encourage constituents in Kentucky’s 1st District to contact our offices with any federal issues they may be experiencing. The protestors outside of the Paducah office have met with the Congressman’s staff on 4 different occasions and their concerns are documented. Congressman Comer does not plan on holding therapy sessions for left-wing activists suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome,” is House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer’s staff’s response to protestors dressed like chickens calling him too chickenshit to hold a town hall in his Kentucky district, per WPSD. So yeah, they were right.

We’re now at the point where the Trump Regime is using their “mandate” line to defend prices going up for no actually good reason, despite the entire fucking campaign being all about how prices were too high and that Trump was the answer to the Biden Administration’s handling of it.

Putting right up front in the headline that it’s “a possible worrying sign for the economy,” CNN reports that delivery service DoorDash is partnering with “buy now, pay later” lender Klarna to offer the option on your food from local restaurants. And yeah, “worrying sign” is probably the right feeling even if maybe this is not really the market itself asking for this so much both companies trying to force it onto the market. Like is this a good thing for some broke-ass 23 year-old stoner without the impulse control to avoid ordering Taco Bell at fucking 190 percent the walk-in price?

In the moment, yes, but in the longer-run of freaking course not. Plus that “Oh I only have two payments left on my dozen eggs” joke really didn’t need to be actually possible in real life.

Namibia, a country once considered non-woke enough to elect a dude literally named “Adolf Hitler” just a few years ago, has gone full DEI and on Friday inaugurated 72 year-old Black woman Netumbo Nandi-Ndaitwah to serve as its first female and fifth Black president since independence from South Africa in 1990, the AP reports. Yeah there have only been five Namibian presidents, but whatever.

Can’t even keep the woke DEI sarcasm going, just lamenting that Namibians can have nice things but Americans not indoctrinated into an authoritarian death cult cannot. Lucky bastards.

The “malicious compliance” line is how wife-beater sado-torture fetishist Sean Parnell explains why web pages about Jackie Robinson’s service in the US Army was removed from the Pentagon’s website, which basically means that if the remit was to remove content that highlights the contributions of anyone other than white heterosexual men from the history of the US military then the removal of pics of the Enola Gay was sabotage by a troll intent on making the Reich look fucking stupid and childish with their anti-“DEI” crusade. Whether or not whoever removed Jackie Robinson, Enola Gay, and other content from the sites was doing so “maliciously” is kind of besides the point because the result is the same and requires this astonishingly mind-boggling batshit spin.

So yeah, that’s where we’re at right now. The natural endpoint of this Maoist purge becomes the pretext of a claim that it’s being thwarted by the subterfuge of “woke” fifth columnists.

The Trump Golden Age™ continued Friday as the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 351 points and the S&P 500 headed for its fifth consecutive losing week within minutes of the opening bell on the New York Stock Exchange, CNBC reports while blaming the person most responsible for it.

“Companies are increasingly citing confusion and uncertainty around their planning, capital spending, and hiring decisions – and when they pause, it means that they’re slowing down,” said egghead Mike Green at Simplify Asset Management. “There’s an element of that playing out.”

Another gloomy bellwether came from FedEx’s earnings outlook, the shipper’s shares taking an 11 percent hit after cutting its profit forecast due to – you guessed it – uncertainty over tariffs.