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A new YouGov survey finds that, on the question of “Would you feel happy or unhappy if humans found proof that aliens exist?” a pretty solid plurality of British respondents at 47 percent said they would feel neither happy or unhappy should that proof emerge, with 32 percent saying they’d be happy, 13 percent saying they don’t know, and just 7 percent saying they’d be unhappy.

There’s a stark gender divide in which 42 percent of men said they’d be happy to 23 percent of women, though again both were pretty neutral at 43 and 50 percent of women saying “neither,” Women were slightly more preemptively unhappy about aliens at 10 percent to mens’ 6 percent.

In conclusion, the poll question was designed terribly as there was not enough specificity applied to “not happy,” which could mean a lot of different things, such as terrified for their lives, bored of all the media coverage, disgusted at their appearance, or simple xenophobia in which they’re already mentally prepared to come up with racial slurs to denigrate extraterrestrial visitors.

Pirate’s Booty founder declares himself mayor of small Long Island village using obscure state law https://t.co/ydIelFjf1y pic.twitter.com/cp4Hn6rwc7

— New York Post (@nypost) March 14, 2025

The Standard and Poor 500 Index’s slide into “correction territory” is the seventh-fastest ever, which to the finance eggheads at Bloomberg is an impressive marker of Trump’s incompetence.

Gold prices meanwhile crossed the $3,000/ounce mark for the first time ever.

A red-blooded, God-fearing Second Amendment patriot celebrated his or her constitutional freedom to bear and discharge arms at a Tesla dealership in the Portland suburb of Tigard, Oregon early Thursday, blasting multiple rounds of liberty into the symbolic flesh of tyrants, damaging multiple vehicles in the process, the AP reports. It’s the second time this month that the non-abridged right was expressed at the same location, a retail establishment rumored to be owned by a foreigner.

For the second time in as many weeks God has answered his chosen child Mike Johnson’s prayers and taken another House Democrat as Arizona Congressman Raul Grijalva, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports, citing an announcement from Grijalva’s office that says the Dem died of cancer.

Grijalva is now the second House D to die in office in as many weeks, following the March 5th death of Texas Congressman Sylvester Turner. The difference this time is that Grijalva hadn’t been present for a vote in months as he suffered terribly at home and – given that Arizona’s governor is a fellow Dem and the district reliably blue – the seat will be filled sooner rather than later.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Thursday petitioned the Supreme Court to allow his order banning birthright citizenship to the children on foreigners to go into effect immediately rather than be enjoined by lower court rulings while litigtion plays out, the AP reports.

A new Quinnipiac University national survey finds 1 percent of voters rating the current state of the US economy as “excellent” and 22 percent as “good” to 45 percent as “not good” and 31 percent calling it “poor,” a clear decline in the outlook since a December 2024 survey on the same question found it at 3 percent “excellent,” 31 percent “good,” 31 percent “not so good,” and 33 percent “poor.”

Fox News ice queen Harris Faulkner was a boiling pit of fiery rage on Thursday as pro-Palestinian Jewish activists occupied the Trump Tower lobby in protest of Mahmoud Khalil’s abduction.

Dozens of protestors with “Jewish Voices for Peace,” outraged over the abduction of pro-Palestinian Columbia grad student Mahmoud Khalil are currently occupying the Trump Tower in Manhattan, Fox 5 New York reports on what’s potentially one hell of a pickle for the reich politically.

It’d be one thing if they were all Arab-American leftist kiffeyeh kids but Jews? That’s going to be a little more difficult. Video taken from the golden escalator shows around 80 or 90 red-shirted protestors surrounded by cops guarding them cautiously in the lobby of the fat fuck’s onyx redoubt.

Northern California federal Judge William Alsup on Thursday found the Office of Personnel Management had unlawfully fired all probationary Defense, Energy, Interior, Treasury, Agriculture, and Veterans Affairs employees, ordering each to offer all reinstatement, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports. Not 100 percent clear but it seems like the whole DOGE purge was just undone, for now.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is expected this week to invoke the Alien Enemies Act of 1798, last used to intern Japanese Americans during World War II, in what CNN’s Alayna Treene reports is “designed to speed up the president’s mass deportation pledge.”

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent might want to think about just not going on CNBC anymore after this dumbassery on Thursday with his failures to do anything to quell recent selloffs in the market.

The Trump Regime has directed senior Defense officials to begin drawing up plans for increasing the American military presence in Panama with the option to use force to re-seize control of the Canal Zone if leadership of the small Central American country resist a build-up, NBC News reports.

There are currently roughly 200 mostly special forces personnel stationed in Panama whom, per NBC’s sources, are there to guard against internal insurgencies or unrest. Though the number fluctuates, it’s nothing on the scale of the pre-1999 Canal Zone territory populated by thousands of members and their families. NBC writes “The officials cautioned that a US invasion of Panama is unlikely and would only come under serious consideration if a larger American military presence in Panama does not achieve President Donald Trump’s goal of reclaiming the waterway.”

So one way or another there are going to be boots on the ground in the country.

Admitting that it was speculation, a French prosecutor in the city of Grenbole says that one-time mafia lord Jean-Pierre Maldera might’ve survived getting shot with a Kalashnikov by an unknown assassin Wednesday morning if he hadn’t stopped and exited his vehicle only to be immediately hit by his pursuer’s and flung onto the opposite lane of the highway, The Telegraph reports.

It’s not that much of a stretch for Francois Touret de Coucy, Grenoble’s deputy public prosecutor, to deem Malerda’s wound survivable given that it he took one or more rounds to his elbow during the chase. He “then stopped his vehicle on the road and got out. The attacking vehicle made a U-turn, drove the wrong way along the motorway and hit him violently. The body was thrown and found in the opposite lane of the motorway. The gunshot wound was not fatal and the cause of death was more likely to be due to the impact with the vehicle or the fall onto the road,” per Touret de Coucy.

Cops found a handgun likely belonging to Maldera near his body. Later they also located a stolen Megane RS matching the assassin’s vehicle’s description set on fire in a parking lot nearby.

Speaking to batshit idiot Maria Bartiromo on Thursday, Ohio Senator Bernie “M4M” Moreno advanced an airtight defense of current economic turmoil under convicted felon President Trump’s second regime: That things would be so much worse if former Vice President Kamala Harris had won the election. “We have to remember that if Kamala Harris had won on November 5, the stock market would be down 50 percent… this country would be on a path to ruin. What President Trump inherited is a disaster from Biden,” said Moreno, his reasoning unfalsifiable given the fundamental nature of entropy and thus completely impervious to any counterargument from the libtards.

“The European Union, one of the most hostile and abusive taxing and tariffing authorities in the World, which was formed for the sole purpose of taking advantage of the United States, has just put a nasty 50 percent Tariff on Whisky. If this Tariff is not removed immediately, the US will shortly place a 200 percent Tariff on all WINES, CHAMPAGNES, AND ALCOHOLIC PRODUCTS COMING OUT OF FRANCE AND OTHER EU REPRESENTED COUNTRIES. This will be great for the Wine and Champagne businesses in the US,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, that last bit being as if the Portuguese prime minister announcing that they’re going to start producing their own Kentucky bourbon as champagne cannot originate from anywhere other than Champagne.

It’s “sparkling white wine” if the vintner is even an inch outside of the region defined by European Union law as the aforenamed section of the Champagne-Ardenne province in northern France.

“Senator Mark Wayne Mullin was great on Fake News CNN. Made Caitlin Collins look like the third rate, low ratings reporter, she is!” the fat fuck also posted, praising an appearance in which Mullin so eloquently MAGAsplained to Collins that “Tariffs is a tax. And it will be passed on to consumers. But it also allows us to have open markets” and that “the president understands completely” that tariffs will be passed onto consumers, like champagne drinkers now facing a 200 percent hike.

Far right propaganda network Newsmax on Monday quietly pulled from its website an article headlined “Telecom Company Urges FCC to Reverse Biden-era Fine” quoting the CEO of Telnyx, a digital calling company slapped with a penalty last year for failing to prevent spammers from using its platform to make robocalls pretending to be from government agencies, Semafor reports.

“Biden-era bureaucrats are still in play. They’re still preventing businesses from succeeding in this country,” Telnyx CEO David Casem had complained to Newsmax, adding that the “previous Democrat agenda” was “still clinging to some government bureaus” and the FCC was one of the administration’s “bureaus still bogged down by Biden’s policies,” which could have tempted the wrath of far-right shitbag commissioner Brendan Carr. Sources tell Semafor that Newsmax CEO Chris Ruddy personally ordered the article taken down, and a spokesperson confirmed in an email that it was an “editorial decision,” to take it down but did not elaborate further on why.

Semafor speculates that it could be more about maintaining access to Carr – a regular guest on the propaganda network’s programming – rather than the statist retribution campaign against media companies he’s promised to wage, starting with harassing Paramount over convicted felon President Trump’s bullshit lawsuit against them alleging “election interference” by having applied standard editing to the October 60 Minutes interview with former Vice President Kamala Harris. As a cable-only network, Newsmax faces basically no direct exposure to Carr’s jurisdiction.

Former Texas MAGAchurch Pastor Robert Morris, who served on convicted felon President Trump’s “spiritual advisory council” during his first campaign in 2016 and until June 2024 led the large Gateway Church chain of congregations and, per Morris’s lawyer, had in 2007 told molestation victim Cindy Clemishire she was the one who had “initiated inappropriate behavior” by entering his guest room “and getting in bed with him,” on Christmas in 1980 when Clemshire was 12 and Morris was 20 or 21 and he had been staying with her family in Oklahoma, was indicted Wednesday on five counts of lewd or indecent acts with a child, per the Oklahoma Attorney General’s office.

“After almost 43 years, the law has finally caught up with Robert Morris for the horrific crimes he committed against me as a child,” Clemshire told the Texas Tribune. “Now, it is time for the legal system to hold him accountable. My family and I are deeply grateful to the authorities who have worked tirelessly to make this day possible and remain hopeful that justice will ultimately prevail.”

“I have such tremendous respect and admiration for this group and I look forward to continuing to talk about the issues important to Evangelicals, and all Americans, and the common sense solutions I will implement when I am President,” so said the fat fuck when appointed Morris and other freaks.