Categories
Uncategorized

Fuhrer punishes European allies for defending Greenland from his mental instability, says he’s suing JP Morgan Chase in two weeks

Convicted felon President Trump on Saturday posted a 400+ word scream at Western Europe for failing to submit to his unstoppable iron determination to acquire Greenland for his empire:

“We have subsidized Denmark, and all of the Countries of the European Union, and others, for many years by not charging them Tariffs, or any other forms of remuneration. Now, after Centuries, it is time for Denmark to give back – World Peace is at stake! China and Russia want Greenland, and there is not a thing that Denmark can do about it. They currently have two dogsleds as protection, one added recently. Only the United States of America, under PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP, can play in this game, and very successfully, at that! Nobody will touch this sacred piece of Land, especially since the National Security of the United States, and the World at large, is at stake. On top of everything else, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland have journeyed to Greenland, for purposes unknown. This is a very dangerous situation for the Safety, Security, and Survival of our Planet. These Countries, who are playing this very dangerous game, have put a level of risk in play that is not tenable or sustainable.”

Categories
Uncategorized

“Still paying $5 for Oreos”

A number of individual MAGA voters who responded to the Associated Press and NORC’s national survey from earlier this week were subsequently interviewed and asked to elaborate on how they thought things were going, like 64 year-old John Candela, of New Rochelle, New York, who said the cost of living is the same, his income hasn’t increased, and bills haven’t gone down.

“Still paying $5 for Oreos,” said Candela, who did not name the price point for the iconic cookie brand he’d had expected a standard 13.6 ounce pack to be by this point when he’d cast a ballot for convicted felon President Trump back in November 2024. Yet Candela’s willing to be patient, telling an AP reporter “I would expect it to be different by the time his four years are up,” as if it remains necessary for him to lie to himself and someone he’s never met before about stupid Trump.

“I don’t like the man as a human being. I don’t like his brashness. I don’t like his roughness. I don’t like how he types out his texts all capital as if he’s yelling at everybody. But what I approve of is what he is doing to try and get the country on track,” Candela then added, not actually saying how he appreciates the “trying” if Oreos are still $5 a pack at wherever he buys his groceries.

Categories
Uncategorized

Reich opens criminal investigations into Walz and Frey

These are dark times for our Nation, as CNN’s Kaitlan Collins reports that the Trump Regime’s Department of Injustice have opened criminal investigation into Minnesota Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey. Nothing like this has ever happened to a governor or mayor in the United States before. After working and cooperating with the relevant Government agencies, this unannounced “investigation” into the two elected officials is not necessary or appropriate.

It is prosecutorial misconduct, the weaponization of the Justice System, and an attack by Radical MAGA Republicans who desperately don’t Frey to run for Senate in 2030, who will likewise do anything to stop Democrats and Liberals in the upcoming Midterm Elections. Such an assault could only take place in broken, Third-World Countries. Sadly, America has now become one of those Countries, corrupt at a level not seen before. The political persecution of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey has been going on for years, with the now fully debunked Somalia, Somalia, Somalia Hoax, the fake “Tampon Tim” Hoax, and so much more, it just never ends.

It is political targeting at the highest level! Donald Trump was allowed to run for president again after inciting a violent assault on Congress. Absolutely nothing has happened to hold him accountable. He even took classified documents, and other items from the White House. Walz and Frey stood up to ICE’s brutality, fought to protect Minnesotans, and truly delivered for the state, like we have never seen before. The MAGA establishment hates it. Now, as they watch Democrat candidates win big special election victories, and see their dominance in all polls, they are trying to stop them, and the Democratic Party, once more. The lawlessness, political persecution, and Witch Hunt must be exposed and stopped. Walz and Frey will continue to fight for the Great Minnesotan People!

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after mad-libbing this August 8, 2022 Trump statement to use to report the very real news about the “investigation” into Walz and Frey.

Categories
Uncategorized

McMahon TACOs out federal student loan default bloodsucking

“The US Department of Education (the Department) today announced that it will delay the implementation of involuntary collections on federal student loans, including Administrative Wage Garnishment (AWG) and the Treasury Offset Program (TOP). The temporary delay will enable the Department to implement major student loan repayment reforms under the Working Families Tax Cuts Act (the Act) to give borrowers more options to repay their loans. These reforms, which include simplifying repayment options and providing an additional opportunity for borrowers to rehabilitate their federal student loans, reflect the Trump Administration’s commitment to provide better support for current and future borrowers in repayment,” says the World Wrestling Entertainment former CEO-led US Department of Education in a pretty goddamned obvious bitch-out from inflicting needless suffering when they’re pretending to lower the cost of living for voters.

Categories
Uncategorized

TACO man keeps talking shit while not doing shit in Minnesota

“In Minnesota, the Troublemakers, Agitators, and Insurrectionists are, in many cases, highly paid professionals. The Governor and Mayor don’t know what to do, they have totally lost control, and our currently being rendered, USELESS! If, and when, I am forced to act, it will be solved, QUICKLY and EFFECTIVELY! President DJT” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday.

Act then, fat tits. Those protestors aren’t going to stop cashing their Soros checks on their own.

Categories
Uncategorized

Marist poll finds Trump’s approval numbers still utter shit

A new Marist College national survey finds “36 percent of Americans approve of how President Trump is handling the economy. 57 percent disapprove, and 7 percent are unsure. President Trump’s approval rating on the economy is unchanged from last month (36 percent),” while “38 percent of Americans approve of how President Trump is performing in office. 56 percent disapprove, and 6 percent are unsure. The President’s job approval rating is unchanged from 38 percent in December of 2025. Americans are twice as likely to strongly disapprove of how the President is doing his job (47 percent) than to strongly approve (23 percent),” and goddamn those 23 percent are extra sad.

Categories
Uncategorized

Mike Johnson forced to fly commercial to London

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Thursday arrived at Andrews Air Force Base expecting to jet off to London only to be told his designated plane was experiencing some mechanical issues. Per Punchbowl News, officials offered to bump another Congressional delegation off their flight but he declined and booked an economy-plus United Airlines seat to head to England.

Which means one of two things happened: (A) Johnson called Trump, JD Vance, or Pete Hegseth to ask to borrow Air Force One or some other government/military plane that wasn’t booked and was told “Lol, no” or (B) He didn’t even bother asking because he knew the answer would be “Lol, no.”

Look, you can laugh all day about the Trump Regime caring so little about the second in line to the presidency and the top-ranking elected official in a putatively coequal branch of government that he has to book a commercial ticket, question whether there’s any real actual purpose to him flying to London to exchange awkward handshakes with Tory leaders, and so on. It’s funny when it happens to Mike Johnson. But to the Speaker of the House, especially when in 350-odd days that Speaker of the House is more likely than not to be Hakeem Jeffries? No, that’s not cool. Even if you wouldn’t be all that upset if five burly soccer hooligans somehow drunkenly mistook Johnson for Inter Milan’s president and summarily throttled him to death while the United flight was two hours from the nearest landmass with a runway it could divert to, the office is important enough to merit access to a plane good enough to take a high-ranking passenger. Doesn’t mean there has to be a “Speaker Force One” fueled, crewed, and flight-ready 24/7 everywhere he goes, but the largest single air fleet in the world also should be able to shake one loose for him or her at the last minute if need be.

Categories
Uncategorized

Brooklyn FC signs power shooter Mangione

“Brooklyn Football Club (Brooklyn FC) men today announced that it has signed American midfielder Peter Mangione to its inaugural USL Championship roster, pending league and federation approval.”

“Mangione, 24, an American midfielder from Hunt Valley, Md, joins Brooklyn from the FC Cincinnati organization after turning pro with FC Cincinnati 2 in MLS NEXT Pro. He built his resume at Penn State, where he scored 31 career goals and earned Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year honors in 2021 and 2023. Mangione played a key role for FC Cincinnati 2 in 2025, making 28 appearances (26 starts) and recording two goals and five assists across 2,218 minutes. He brings a balanced midfield profile to Brooklyn, with the engine to cover ground and the end product to impact matches in the final third. Brooklyn FC will debut in the USL Championship on March 8, 2026 when the team takes on Indy Eleven at Maimonides Park,” said Brooklyn FC in a press release on Wednesday.

The absolute killer shot Mangione’s new home field is just under six miles from where his absolute killer shot cousin Luigi is incarcerated awaiting trial. Soccer fan Nicolas Maduro is staying there too.

Categories
Uncategorized

Rendered unto Caesar

Now it’s not totally set in stone that Trump will forego any serious action to support Maria Corina Machado for Venezuela’s presidency – and it was also worth trying for her since it’s just a medal.

And yet it would seem more likely than not that the Orange God Emperor is happy enough with Delcy Rodriguez and won’t be particularly forcibly demanding she let Machado back into the country to stand in a free and fair election under pain of more military action or sanctions against Caracas.

Trump got the oil, “his” Nobel Peace Prize, and Machado gets his “gratitude” for the token plus absolutely brutal derision from Norwegian elites in the Nobel Committee’s orbit, like an Oslo professor and former politician who called her “gift” to Donald “meaningless” and “pathetic,” that showed “a total lack of respect for the award, on her part,” according to Bloomberg.

Really the only question now is – assuming he’s still alive on January 21st, 2029 and a Dem candidate wins the presidency in 2028 – whether the future DC US Attorney is going to have the balls to prosecute him for felony theft of US government property. There’s no need to “assume” the fat fuck is going to take the medal with him to Mar-a-Lago because assumption implies a conditional sequence. He will take it with him and a self-pardon on the way out the door won’t mean shit if he’s still in possession of stolen federal government property as of the end of his term, so nail him on it.

Categories
Uncategorized

Wall Street Journal prints pro-John Cougar Mellencamp advertorial

The top daily periodical of the financial industry of the largest economy on the planet on Friday printed a little ditty headlined “The Chain-Smoking Rock Star Who Made Indiana Football Hurt So Good: From a wooden shack atop the stadium, John Mellencamp has overseen the team’s transformation from laughingstock to No 1,” illustrated by a photo of Mellencamp standing in front of a bronze statue of his likeness installed on the campus of the Hoosier State’s top public university.

The article contains exceedingly pro-John Cougar Mellencamp content some individuals may find unnecessarily effusive to the point of being emotionally disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.

Categories
Uncategorized

Regime insiders push for “recalibrating” of relentless ICE brutality

Convicted felon President Trump and his lowly minions are starting to worry about the public blowback to the quasi-genocidal campaign against non-US citizens who run afoul of their reich, with abysmal recent internal GOP polling numbers – but not that recent as it was conducted before Renee Good was murdered by an ICE agent – a particular source of anxiety, sources tell Axios.

The polling, which found 60 percent of indy voters and 58 percent of undecideds saying the Orange Caesar was “too focused” on deporting illegal immigrants as well as 33 percent saying Trump was primarily deporting otherwise law-abiding illegal immigrants as opposed to criminals, is actually not even that bad compared to where it could or – really should – be. Nevertheless the growing backlash has prompted Hill GOP members to complain that the brutality in Minneapolis has been “dominating the news and obscuring the White House’s work on cost-of-living issues that congressional Republicans, Trump and his team see as more important,” Axios writes, and fuckin lol at that part.

Seriously what the hell are they thinking? That ICE fulfilling its stated mission of apprehending criminal illegal aliens with competence, professionalism, and discretion would allow for more bandwidth to lie to people about their grocery prices going down? The GOP should at least be happy to be in their comfort zone of lying about Minneapolis and more or less outright saying that a leftist lesbian tried to kill an ICE agent with her vehicle and thus deserved to get shot in the face three times. That’s much more in their wheelhouse than being confronted with evidence that they have not and never did intend to follow through on addressing their main 2024 campaign issue via policy.

Categories
Uncategorized

Orange Baby confirms he got his participation Nobel Peace Prize

“It was my Great Honor to meet María Corina Machado, of Venezuela, today. She is a wonderful woman who has been through so much. María presented me with her Nobel Peace Prize for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you María!” posted the fat toddler on Thursday, making it unambiguous he now “owns” an official Nobel Peace Prize.

Categories
Uncategorized

North Carolina meth delivery guy arrested for address mix-up

A real klutz of a North Carolina meth operation’s delivery guy is in trouble after he showed up to the wrong house at 1:45 AM on Sunday, expecting to drop off the stuff to a willing buyer, WSOC reports.

The unidentified 32 year-old suspect faces felony possession of Schedule I narcotics, felony conspiracy to deliver meth, felony conspiracy to traffic meth, misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance, and two misdemeanor counts of possession of marijuana/drug paraphernalia.

It’s not clear if the man was on meth at the time. Or maybe he was and it was just shitty meth that wasn’t making him alert enough to realize he was at the wrong address at 1:45 AM.

Categories
Uncategorized

Machado says she gave Trump her Nobel Peace Prize medal

After having emerged from a meeting at the White House with convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado told reporters she “presented the President of the United States the medal, the peace, the Nobel Peace Prize” and a not particularly careful parsing of her words after that left the very strong impression that Trump “accepted.”

“The people of Bolivar are giving back to the heir of Washington a medal, the medal of the Nobel Peace Prize, for the recognition of his unique commitment to our freedom,” said Machado.

Well there you have it. The fat fuck will now consider himself a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, just hours after he threatened to turn the US military against the people of a major American city.

Categories
Uncategorized

NJ AG accuses MAGA ex-mayor of ordering Black drivers stopped

“Attorney General Matthew J Platkin and the Division on Civil Rights (DCR) announced today that they have filed a complaint in New Jersey Superior Court alleging that Clark Township and the Clark Police Department (CPD) systematically discriminated against and harassed Black and other non-white motorists in violation of the New Jersey Law Against Discrimination (LAD) and the New Jersey Constitution. The complaint is based on an investigation conducted by DCR that focused on the time period from 2015 through the end of the Union County Prosecutor’s Office’s (UCPO) supersession of CPD’s operations in March 2025. The investigation found that Clark Township and CPD instituted a variety of discriminatory policing practices at the behest of the longtime former Mayor of Clark, Salvatore Bonaccorso, and CPD leadership,” says the New Jersey AG’s office in a statement.

“The complaint explains that, prior to UCPO’s supersession of CPD’s operations in July 2020, leadership in Clark Township and CPD leadership expressly instructed officers to keep Black people out of Clark and directed officers to engage in policing practices that were designed to accomplish exactly that. The complaint alleges that former Mayor Bonaccorso directed CPD leadership to engage in discriminatory policing to ‘keep chasing the spooks out of town,’ using a racial slur to refer to Black people. And CPD then implemented a variety of practices designed to achieve that outcome,” the press release continues and yes Bonaccorso is definitely, 100 percent MAGA.

Well yeah it was obvious from hating Blacks but you can see Trump shit on his Facebook page too.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Orange Baby really doesn’t want to talk about dead troops

56 minutes ago

FCC incel was at Mar-a-Lago when he threatened networks again

5 hours ago

Peruvian presidential candidate veers too far left on infrastructure

6 hours ago

Iranian sleeper cells may have already been arrested, fanboy posits

8 hours ago

South Dakota Supreme Court upholds apocalypse survival bunker-themed gated community resident’s right to stand his ground

10 hours ago

Trump orders other countries to sacrifice their sailors’ lives

1 day ago

Would-be school shooter who got elected to Congress instead has interesting ideas on the American people’s main policy priority

1 day ago

Information warfare practitioner on rear guard defense again

1 day ago

Red State first responders find out the hard way that Noem stopped paying bill for ultra-accurate tornado tracking SaaS last month

2 days ago

Movie Night Friday: A Bridge Too Far

2 days ago

WOW! DEAL ALERT! Get 80 percent OFF citizenship renunciation processing fees! HURRY! This deal will last, but hurry anyway!

2 days ago

Gateway Pundit reports Iran regime has some redeeming qualities

2 days ago

Dick Grenell fired, replaced by some other douche at JFK Center

2 days ago

Judge nukes DOJ subpoenas to Jerome Powell

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Jaydee makes rare public appearance

2 days ago

Handcuffs no match for mentally ill Florida man strength

2 days ago

Your taxes went toward advertising episode of shitty podcast

2 days ago

Ken Paxton buys TV ad time in West Palm Beach, Florida

2 days ago

Marine Expeditionary unit headed to Middle East

2 days ago

RonAnon assured that Ayatollah would’ve killed those girls anyway

2 days ago

All six USAF refueler crew members confirmed dead

2 days ago

Admiral Yamadildo claims Navy to escort Hormuz ships if “needed”

3 days ago

Revised Q4 2025 GDP numbers now 0.7 percent shittier

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Midlife crisis sufferer compensates to media again

3 days ago

Pennsylvania cops call off search for arrest warrant subject

3 days ago

Fat Hitler tells G7 that Iran is “about to surrender”

3 days ago

Fox News AI evidently incapable of fixing hideous neck-gina

3 days ago

Four US Air Force refueler crew dead after collision over Iraq

3 days ago

Retired Air Force general’s wife oddly cavalier on his disappearance

3 days ago

Jim Jordan wrestles with being reminded he has constituents

3 days ago

US aircraft patriotically collide over Iraqi airspace

3 days ago

Wing Guru founder not exactly a tax evasion guru

3 days ago

Dow closes only down 740 points on the day, oil not at $100 yet

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Violent sex pest and enabler celebrate womanhood

3 days ago

Jerome Powell slump hits stock market, Trump demands action

3 days ago

Michigan Jewish school under active shooter threat

3 days ago

QAdulteress either launching weekly podcast or violent coup d’etat

3 days ago

Ayatollah’s message flops on Wall Street

3 days ago

IDF drops charges against troops taped gang-sodomizing POW

3 days ago

White House rips Biden for tapping reserves before 2022 midterms

3 days ago

New Ayatollah lays out visionary energy policy in first address

3 days ago

“Mean tweets and cheap gas” now just “Expensive oil is MAGA”

4 days ago

Frau Ingraham forgets to find way to blame Biden or Obama

4 days ago

Explodey Iranian boats kaboom more not-Iranian boats

4 days ago

Heavenly wonder of God’s creation to flourish in Bible belt

4 days ago

Fox News reports top strategic presidential income source valiantly standing strong thanks to US taxpayer-funded defense array

4 days ago

Rapist endorses accused rapist

4 days ago

Oil above $90 after surging to $100 overnight

4 days ago

Ted Cruz pre-blames Biden for terror attack, just to be safe

4 days ago

Top expert on “Black People” identifies target of their anger

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x