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“Damaging hurricane-force winds and a life-threatening storm surge with destructive waves are expected across portions of the northern coast of the Yucatan Peninsula today. Milton is expected to grow in size and remain an extremely dangerous hurricane when it approaches the west coast of Florida on Wednesday. A large area of destructive storm surge will occur along parts of the west coast of Florida. This is an extremely life-threatening situation and residents in those areas should follow advice given by local officials and evacuate immediately if told to do so.”

“Devastating hurricane-force winds are expected along portions of the west coast of Florida, where a Hurricane Warning is in effect. Milton is forecast to remain a hurricane as it crosses the Florida Peninsula and life-threatening hurricane-force winds, especially in gusts, are expected to spread inland across the peninsula. Preparations to protect life and property in the warning areas should be complete by tonight. Areas of heavy rainfall will continue to impact portions of Florida well ahead of Milton through early Thursday. This rainfall brings the risk of life-threatening flash, urban and aerial flooding along with moderate to major river flooding. Flooding will be exacerbated in areas where coastal and inland flooding combine to increase the overall threat,” says an NHC update.

Even with Florida bracing to be hit by a second hurricane in a little more than a week–which some might interpret as a sign from God that He doesn’t like the management of the region–Republican Governor and boot enthusiast Ron DeSantis knows the Culture Wars never end:  the Florida Department of Health threatened a local television station with legal action for airing an ad for an abortion amendment on November’s ballot, AdWeek reports.

According to the letter sent to Tampa NBC affiliate WFLA, the ad includes information that is “false” and “dangerous” that the Department could “[i]nstitute criminal proceedings in the county court in the jurisdiction of which the condition exists against all persons failing to comply with notices to correct sanitary nuisance conditions.”

The “sanitary nuisance” the Department claims to have spotted is that the pro-choice ad asserts that Florida now bans lifesaving abortions:  a woman who became pregnant while fighting cancer.  “The doctors knew that if I did not end my pregnancy, I would lose my baby, I would lose my life, and my daughter would lose her mom. Florida has now banned abortion … even in cases like mine. Amendment 4 is gonna protect women like me.”

The team at CBS News’s 60 Minutes on Monday laid out in detail how convicted felon former President Trump backed out of his traditional candidate interview with the program. From a verbatim transcript of Scott Pelley, emphasis ours on some funny parts:

Then the kicker…

Convicted felon former President Trump proclaimed himself the protector of women despite being an adjudicated rapist who has been accused of all sorts of awful shit by dozens of them.

A Norfolk, Virginia woman whose job is to deliver drugs to inmates serving time in the joint was caught officers and subsequently arrested by deputies for fulfilling that function after a lengthy internal investigation, The Virginian-Pilot reports citing a press release from the sheriff’s office.

Takeyah Gosha, 30, also work a side job with a vendor contracted to deliver goods to the canteen inside the jail. In fact that was how she was able to pursue the lucrative work of distributing drugs to inmates inside the jail. The type of drugs Gosha delivered and the charges were unspecified, but either way it’s a bummer for the guys who purchased consumed the drugs to alleviate the boredom of sitting in jail and wearing the same orange jumpsuits all day. It is however an opportunity now available to whoever else wants to be the drugs delivery person for Norfolk’s City jail.

“President Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America, will deliver remarks at a rally in Coachella, California on Saturday, October 12, 2024, at 5:00PM PDT. Under Kamala Harris and her dangerous Democrat allies like Tim Walz, the notorious ‘California Dream’ has turned into a nightmare for everyday Americans. Since Harris and Biden took office, prices have skyrocketed by nearly 20 percent, leaving Californians grappling with crushing costs. Families are struggling to stay afloat, with the average California household losing more than $33,232 since January 2021. Californians are suffocating under rising prices for everything from groceries to housing, thanks to Kamalanomics,” and blah blah blah, says the fat bastard’s campaign in a press release.

Why he’s spending 25 percent of the final Saturdays left before election day in California we don’t know. It’s a short flight to Arizona and Nevada but there aren’t any other events scheduled there.

The boss on Monday said its time for the two inadequate babydicks Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis to stop fucking around and take this shit seriously. The babydicks, constantly angry over their physical limitations, will naturally not comply with the boss’s directives but it’s of a strategy on her part to portray herself as the boss who does the job while they play with their babydicks.

“Whereas, a Constitutionally valid government only exists and endures when elections are conducted in accordance with all applicable legal requirements and are free of violence or threats of violence, government manipulation, censorship, coercion, fraudulent voting, or manipulation of votes, election tabulation, and/or election results by any means whatsoever; and that in the 2024 election cycle there have been, to date, two assassination attempts on the Republican nominee for President of the United States while threats of assassination of the Republican nominees for president and vice president abound. The federal government, under the current Democrat-led regime, has utterly failed, and continues to fail, in a suspicious manner, in its absolute duty to adequately protect the Republican nominee for president; and that the Constitutions of the United States and the State of West Virginia require that only legal citizens may vote in US and West Virginia elections, and that there is abundant evidence that non-citizens have been and are being registered to vote in the national election of 2024,” says West Virginia House Resolution 303.

“Therefore, be it Resolved by the Legislature of West Virginia: That, the sovereign State of West Virginia declares it will not recognize an election for President if such election is enabled by illegal or fraudulent acts… Further Resolved, That, the State of West Virginia will not recognize any election of the Democrat candidate for President during the 2024 election cycle if the Republican presidential or vice-presidential candidate is assassinated, seriously injured during an assassination attempt, incarcerated, de facto eliminated or barred from the ballot in any states, or is the subject of legal actions that preclude their effective campaigning,” and blah blah blah the resolution continued.

For the second time in three months a portion of New Orleans was hit Sunday with an electricity outage caused by a mylar balloon making contact with power lines, WDSU reports.

Local utility Entergy said 2,000 customers were affected when a balloon floated into the lines in the vicinity of Washington Avenue and Milan Street. The previous mylar balloon-based outage struck in August when one of the floating decorations hit lines outside of a water treatment plant, leading officials to implement a boil water advisory citywide. Entergy personnel did not describe either balloon, possibly to protect the identity of the fucker who had a Batman-themed birthday party or needed to get well soon or turned 50. National Zero urges readers to properly dispose of all helium balloons by inhaling the gas inside before discarding them to prevent damage to the environment.

WDSU’s article notes that another outage was caused last month by a bird whose fate is unknown.

“THE RESPONSE TO THE HURRICANE BY LYIN’ KAMALA HARRIS IS NOW RATED THE WORST STORM RESPONSE IN HISTORY. NORTH CAROLINA, GEORGIA, FLORIDA, SOUTH CAROLINA, TENNESSEE, ALABAMA, and others, will respond by VOTING FOR ‘TRUMP.’ We will, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Monday, continuing to make us wait eagerly for the moment when he directly acknowledges the disruption that Helene and now possibly also Milton could have on his election prospects. This shit is just wishcasting.

Also lol at the mention of Alabama in there. Very sly fan service, especially since, as far we know, no part of the state was affected substantially by Hurricane Helene. The track was simply too far east.

The fat bastard also posted a Rasmussen poll finding him leading nationally among “Hispanic Voters Only” 62 percent to Vice President Kamala Harris’s 36 percent. Hard to take away anything from the recent hype of these dogshit polls other than that the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex is purposely working to create a narrative to serve as the pretext to Stop the Steal v2.

Sunday’s golf cart parade organized by The Villages, Florida MAGA Club was canceled due to rain and rescheduled for next Saturday, October 12, Villages-News.com reports. Pussies.

President Trump visits the tomb of Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson in Queens.

He will always stand with Israel and the Jewish people! pic.twitter.com/QprpCyQJc8

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) October 7, 2024

Napoleonic Florida Gov Ron DeSantis has been refusing to take calls from Vice President Kamala Harris while a massive Category 5 hurricane barrels toward his state, in what one of Tiny D’s minions tells NBC News that Harris’s call “seemed political,” she “was trying to reach out, and we didn’t answer.” The same source said they were unaware whether Ron had spoken with President Biden.

Huh… This was not a statement, it was anonymous quote and – though the leaker possibly thinks it was a flex – it’s probably the kind of thing that DeSanctimonious would not want leaking out if he’s actually trying to help his Orange Abuser to retake power. It would completely undermine any future bitching about the “Harris Regime” and falsely claiming she and Biden are intentionally trying to prolong Floridians’ suffering because it would help her win the election and all that shit.

Never mind that DeSantis turned down a call from the vice president to ask him what kind of federal assistance his state needed when a Category 5 hurricane could end up hitting his hometown of Tampa, a metro area home to millions of people. Republican voters in the Sunshine State won’t mind that. They’re a proud people who can put personal survival aside to focus on petty political bullshit.

The Georgia Supreme Court on Monday stayed Fulton County Judge Robert McBurney’s ruling freezing the state’s six week abortion ban, putting it back in place as of 5 PM EDT pending a hearing of the state’s case. Gotta wonder what the hell they were thinking and why they didn’t just wait until after the election instead of giving female voters an extra reason to turn out against Republicans.

If we had picked up last week’s Politico story “Republicans are starting to raise alarms about Trump’s ground game” on the day of it would have been (at least) the seventh such article that National Zero ran last month – all saying more or less the same thing that story’s headline already did.

Lara Trump hands out donuts at some stupid volunteer event for her dickhead father-in-law’s campaign

That all these pieces in this new sub-genre of political reporting were largely redundant doesn’t mean they weren’t worth picking up. Quotes like “We are totally fucked in the field” from anonymous Trump minions and “If there were a really effective GOP get-out-the-vote operation, I feel like we’d be getting all these dark profiles of [Charlie] Kirk, and stories implying that Turning Point USA is using questionable legal methods to steal the election” from some National Review dipshit’s piece were golden, irrespective of how incomprehensible of a picture these very entertaining stories paint about the ultimate impact on the outcome of next month’s apocalyptic election.

It’s not very comprehensible. Look at say, reporting on how an aide to New York City Mayor Eric Adams sent him a text saying “To be on the safe side, Please Delete all messages you send me,” to which Adams responded, “Always do,” when communicating electronically about the details of their various scams. That’s in the actual indictment and the reporting is sourced from it. NBC’s story quotes from a retired Baruch College political science professor, Doug Muzzio, saying “Stick a fork in him. He’s cooked.” That guy’s really just adding color commentary to what’s an already extremely obvious take: That Eric Adams will not be the Mayor of New York City come January 1st, 2026.

The US Supreme Court on Monday denied certiorari to drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk’s petition to prevent anything like Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith with serving him a warrant for convicted felon former President Trump’s Twitter account (and the court fining Musk for non-compliance) from ever happening again, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports.

“Man the timing is strange. Not saying it’s anything divinely inspired but it is also unwise to flip the bird to God as much as SF has” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit article “Another Earthquake Rattles Southern California; State Breaks Record For Most 4.0+ Magnitude Temblors in a Year Igniting Fears of the ‘Big One’,” posted Sunday. This got 52 upvotes from other readers, agreed that San Francisco giving God the finger has put the other side of the state in God’s crosshairs.

“The GREAT people of North Carolina are being stood up by Harris and Biden, who are giving almost all of the FEMA money to Illegal Migrants in what is now considered to be the WORST rescue operation in the history of the US. On top of that, Billions of Dollars is going to foreign countries!”

“NORTH CAROLINA HAS BEEN VIRTUALLY ABANDONED BY KAMALA!!! DROP HER LIKE SHE DROPPED YOU – VOTE FOR PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP” posted the fat convicted felon on Monday, his second time spewing more or less the same shit this morning.

We’re not totally sure if Trump has definitely gone as far as his loyal scumbag Laura Ingraham did on Friday night on this apparent panic over the possible impact on election turnout, with Ingraham telling Fox News fans that “there has to be court action to ensure that those people – who are mostly Republican voters – get their votes counted,” but we’re at the point where lame-ass MAGA “news” site PJ Media is printing a piece titled “Here’s Trump’s Path to 270 if Helene Devastation Tips Georgia and North Carolina to Kamala,” so yeah, it’s probably worth keeping an eye on.

North Carolina Senator Ted Budd wants his voters to know he will stop at nothing to blame migrants for them not getting the help they need to rebuild their lives after being so badly devastated by floods. Budd also put politics aside and did not at any point in this clip mention the need to reconvene Congress to pass legislation to provide them with more recovery assistance.

“Data from both Hurricane Hunter aircraft indicate that Milton has strengthened to a category 4 hurricane. The maximum sustained winds are estimated to be 150 mph (240 km/h). Milton is a category 4 hurricane on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale. Data from the aircraft also indicate that the minimum pressure has fallen to 940 mb (27.76 inches),” says the National Hurricane Center in an update putting the storm at 735 miles southwest of Tampa.

Well that’s fucking bad given the amount of warm water still in between Florida and the storm’s current position. The earlier update anticipated the strengthening and said by Tuesday night it could weaken a bit from “strong shear and dry air entrainment” but the update seems to suggest the government’s meteorologist eggheads didn’t expect it to ramp up as fast as it has.