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A funeral home in southern Poland is feeling a little embarrassed after a hearse fuckup sent a deceased person’s body tumbling onto a street in broad daylight, the Associated Press reports.

“It is with deep regret that we inform you that as a result of an unexpected technical failure of the electric tailgate lock in the hearse, during the transport of the body of the deceased, an unfortunate event occurred which does not reflect the high standards of our company, our deep empathy towards the families of the deceased, and the respect we always show to the deceased,” Hades Funeral Services posted on Facebook after pics of the body lying in a crosswalk in the city of Stalowa Wola went viral, apologizing to “all those who were disappointed and upset by this event.”

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham was very, very upset with former Trump Administration officials and other “RINOs” supporting Vice President Kamala Harris, screaming “What the hell are you doing?” and “I can’t take four more years of this crap,” as in a Democratic president.

“At 4:03 AM the North Canton Police Department received a call from Fifth Third Bank Security located at 1637 N. Main St. regarding a theft of their ATM with a forklift. Officers were dispatched to the area and arrived on scene to discover the forklift abandoned behind the bank along with debris from the ATM. The value of the ATM and its contents have not yet been reported. It was determined that the forklift was stolen from the construction site of Wendy’s Restaurant located in the 200 block of Applegrove St NW. This incident is currently under investigation,” says an North Canton, Ohio Police Department bulletin on the dangers of experimenting with stealing construction equipment.

Next thing you know the thief could end up putting the stolen money into some crypto scam and then steal millions from dumb assholes who get easily suckered into it online.

Jesus Dork House Speaker Mike Johnson on Sunday really didn’t want to talk about late pro golfer Arnold Palmer’s legendary penis, preferring instead to just spew out some MAGA AI chatbot talking points. Later in the bit Johnson simply denied the reality that convicted felon former President Trump had threatened to send the US military after California Congressman Adam Schiff, former Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and her husband, Paul, leading host Jake Tapper to remark that the answers were like it was from a completely different interview and seemingly cut it off early.

A white, medium-sized dog chased several birds up to the peak of the 481-foot-tall Great Pyramid of Khufu last week in a scene recorded by American paraglider Marshall Mosher, who was taking a morning flight over the ancient structures with other members of his group, CNN reports.

“We noticed something running back and forth on top of the pyramid. One person thought it was a mountain lion,” Mosher told CNN, adding he was a little worried the dog would be trapped. “Maybe he was stuck up there.” Mosher later saw a video from another tourist of the dog making its way down the structure, its corporeal body possibly now fully possessed by the spirit of Anubis, the feared ancient dog god of the underworld, closely associated with death and funerary rites.

Reporting on convicted felon former President Trump’s obsession with the late Arnold Palmer’s cock, the New York Times on Sunday decided to play it maybe just a little safe, writing on the home page link to the story “At a Pennsylvania Rally, Donald Trump Descends to New Levels of Vulgarity – The GOP nominee repeated crude insults, and his supporters relished each moment. But the display could alienate swing voters,” as if they couldn’t just put the Arnold Palmer thing in the headline.

“I tell ya, it’s no fun being an illegal alien,” a man reflecting on a depth of personal experience in the matter, Phil Collins, once sang in a 40-year-old song with a video so racist in retrospect, someone should publicly apologize.  Someone who seemed to have fun as an “illegal immigrant” was supervillain-in-training and new Trump surrogate Elon Musk.

As Musk hits the campaign trail touting an adjudicated rapist for President and is even offering $100 to Pennsylvania voters to sign a pro-Trimp petition. While the effort is questionable from an election law standpoint, there is no obligation for any Pennsylvania voter who signs the petition, other than admitting you got $100 from Musk to use your name on some non-binding petition, although always read the fine print and don’t take anything you read on this site as legal advice.  Ever.  The only thing we’re good at is tracking crime in The Villages.

Musk, however, isn’t too good at recalling his post-college immigration status.  As CNN reports, during a 2013 interview posted online, Musk’s brother Kimbal described their status in 1995, after Elon dropped out of Stanford’s graduate program as “illegal immigrant,” while his brother called it “a grey area.”  Issues presumably arose because Elon had stayed past the legality of his student visa since he dropped out of college and Kimbal came into the US from South Africa via a student visa at a Canadian university or on a standard tourist visa; at some point, both had become Canadian citizens.  It’s unclear when either Musk became a legal resident of the United States; Elon became a US citizen in 2002 and Kimbal added an American passport in 2004.

Watch the traffic on this random street in Tokyo.

Those of you who still complain about neck pain because you shook your head so vigorously at the “demon sperm” doctor during the pandemic may want to just skip to the comments, because QAnon cultist Stella Immanuel is baaaaaaacccckkk.  She was one of the featured speakers at former White House National Security Advisor and Friend of Putin Mike Flynn’s ReAwaken America event in North Carolina, a type of reunion for the last remaining QAnon adherents.

Here, while using the word “indignation” way too many times, Immanuel expresses her surprise at the rise of Kamala Harris to the Democratic nomination, saying she only understood it after she learned from God that the Democrats “had given a worthy blood sacrifice” at the DNC.  So sure, we can understand why people believe her medical advice over Dr. Anthony Fauci’s.

“With just a few weeks to Election Day and early voting already underway in several states, it’s peak time for the ‘ground game’ that campaigns have spent months preparing. Back in May, on-the-ground Republican operatives voiced concerns to The Federalist that the Republican National Committee’s operations weren’t keeping pace with grassroots in swing states. Now, as Election Day nears, a narrative has emerged in the corporate media about the Trump campaign’s ‘paltry’ ground game,” wrote far right propaganda site the Federalist ten days ago in a piece titled “Outside Conservative Groups Are Leading Trump’s Ground Game. That Might Be A Good Thing.”

Stop being overconfident or cocky.

Go chase ballots.

Find new voters.

It’s a 50% chance Trump wins.

Do something to make a difference.

— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) October 18, 2024

That Federalist article might be what an outfit clearly bothered when a “narrative has emerged in the corporate media” about a serious weak spot in their effort to return convicted felon former President Trump to the White House would print and the tweet above might be contributing to that “narrative” considering that small-faced bastard is urging fans to hit the bricks rather than touting the number of doors his group has knocked on in the states they’ve been tasked with delivering to Trump.

“In working at a McDonalds, Trump is directing attention to Harris’ lies, showing humility, and demonstrating that he understands our system and the importance of entry level jobs. This is a great man” – Top comment on the Fox News article “Trump teases he will ‘do everything’ while working behind McDonald’s counter in crucial swing state,” posted Saturday.

Where to start with this one. Now on one hand it is true that we’ve yet to see definitive proof Harris did indeed work at a McDonald’s when she was 19. Nothing in the form of photos, paystubs, testimonials from coworkers, whatever. Thing is, that’s not really on her campaign because who among her voters actually gives a shit. It’s on the other guys, the James O’Keefe and other “gotcha” douchebags to come up with it and the only “proof” they have is that Harris left it off her employment history in 1987 when she applied for a law clerk position with the Alameda County, California DA’s office, as if McDonald’s was somehow relevant. Also worth noting is that the Washington Free Beacon only posted two pages of the application and the three positions listed were filled up. For all we know they intentionally omitted the pages where she did list McD’s.

The NCGOP Hotline is here for you to report any issues or concerns you have at your polling place. Call (919)372-4856 to make your report! pic.twitter.com/Q82b4vBWv5

— NCGOP (@NCGOP) October 19, 2024

Making false reports to an official state Republican Party voter fraud hotline is a serious moral offense and could result in feeling regret that you’re wasting the time of GOP employees who are working tirelessly to ensure election integrity in a crucial battleground. Like seriously you might feel really bad for it if you overdo it and misdirect their attention to their own fake voter fraud incidcents.

• The nihilistic richest man in the world financing the political campaign of the malleable, sociopathic, self-absorbed leader of a major political Party sounds like the origin story of a comic book mercenary army.  
• Bret Baier’s foul:  the absolute shit show of an “interview” with Kamala Harris where his questions were so slanted, they were asked in italics.  Baier’s failure, in conservative eyes: allowing Harris to accurately appear sane and intelligent.  Baier’s embarrassment, however, was claiming that “they” showed the wrong clip, when literally any person who has done more than five hours of live television knows how to say, “Okay, we’ve got the wrong clip; we’ll get the right clip running shortly.”  That was no accident, and he threw his crew under the bus.
• Prepare for the start of “Fentanyl in Halloween Candy” season, which feels like it’s nearly as long as the Christmas shopping season.  The Fox hysteria will be turned to 11 this election year.  And for the record, we’ll be putting ours in peanut butter cups this year.
• If you’re in a union–except the head-thumpers in some police unions who want immunity–and you’re even considering voting for a candidate who thinks union autoworkers have jobs so easy a “child [could] do it,” please remember one of the reasons unions were formed was to make sure children don’t do those kinds of jobs like they did before unions.  And if you don’t think Republicans want children to do these jobs: they’ve already legalized it in Iowa.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CXCVI”

Foreshadowing what will eventually happen to Texas, the entire power grid on Cuba failed Friday afternoon, plunging the entire island and its 10 million residents into darkness, NBC News reports.  Only 20,000 residences in Havana have had power restored; two million people live in the city.

The Cuban power grid had been notoriously bad for decades, with some power stations continuing to use Soviet-era technology to run.  The Cuban government has long blamed US trade sanctions for its inability to get much-needed fuel and upgrades for the fluctuating power availability.

Technically it’s not “live” but if we all watch together at the same time then we can share our thoughts about this disaster classic starring Pierce Brosnan as volcanologist Harry Dalton and Linda Hamilton as Mayor Rachel Wando whose whirlwind romance is the only thing HOTTER than the lava!

Russian lawmakers in the lower house of the irradiated shithole country’s parliament on Thursday advanced a bill imposing criminal penalties on anyone who spreads information that advocates voluntary childlessness, making it punishable by fines of up to 5 million rubles, the AP reports.

Asked by reporters in Michigan on Friday why he wouldn’t release his health records, convicted felon former President Trump said, and this is fucking ridiculous, lol: “Yeah. My health records – I’ve done five exams over the last four years. You’ve got them all. Obviously I’m in the middle of a very big and very contentious fight. We’re leading. I’ve given my health exams, I’ve also done cognitive tests twice and I’ve aced them,” per CNN. Well that’s one way to make sure they keep asking.

Vice President Kamala Harris is on the second of her three rallies scheduled Friday in Michigan.

NASA on Friday announced, in very gentle and politic terms, that Boeing is on their shitlist after the Starliner clusterfuck. “The timing and configuration of Starliner’s next flight will be determined once a better understanding of Boeing’s path to system certification is established. This determination will include considerations for incorporating Crew Flight Test lessons learned, approvals of final certification products, and operational readiness. Meanwhile, NASA is keeping options on the table for how best to achieve system certification, including windows of opportunity for a potential Starliner flight in 2025. NASA will provide more information when available,” the agency wrote.

Campaigning in Michigan on Friday, Vice President Kamala Harris stuck it right to her senescent opponent, saying Donald “is ducking debates and canceling interviews. Come on. And check this out: his own campaign team recently said it is because of exhaustion. Well, if you are exhausted on the campaign trail, it raises real questions about whether you are fit for the toughest job in the world,” Bloomberg’s Jen Epstein reports on Harris turning Trump into Joe Biden.