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“A woman with gray hair, wearing a brown blazer and black top, sits on a wooden bench in a garden with lush greenery and flowers in the background, embodying the essence of a new beginning. President Biden deserves our respect, our compassion, and our gratitude. The debate last week, however, made clear that the time is now for another Democratic candidate to take his place on the November ballot. The nominating process for the Democratic Party needs to begin again. We need to recalibrate, and we need to do so quickly. Over the next two months we need to do what we should have been doing over the last year and a half: engaging in a robust conversation about this country and how we’re going to beat Donald Trump in November. Today I throw my hat in the ring.”

“We need to have an exciting campaign and an open convention in August. It is imperative that the new process not be manipulated by party and media elites. The search for a new candidate must be not directed by behind-the-scenes players, but rather must be a genuinely democratic process. All news outlets owe it to the public to fairly cover all FEC registered, qualified candidates going forward,” says a statement from New Age weirdo Marianne Williamson. We lost track of whether she had officially re-suspended her campaign after unsuspending it for God knows why in February.

And the copypasta reading “Play Video about A woman with gray hair, wearing a brown blazer and black top, sits on a wooden bench in a garden with lush greenery and flowers in the background, embodying the essence of a new beginning” at the top was intentionally left in because that’s what ended up in our clipboard after we selected the first few paragraphs of her statement in text under a video fitting that meta-description, lol. Why the fuck doesn’t it just say “Marianne Williamson announces she’s running for the Democratic presidential nomination at the DNC in Chicago”?

Media floated 25th Amendment for Trump hundreds of times while in office, viral video shows https://t.co/V19xguNU7q

— Fox News (@FoxNews) July 2, 2024

The New York State Bar Association on Tuesday tossed loudmouth drunken slob Rudy Giuliani from their ranks, a disgraceful end to the once admired and feared federal prosecutor.

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s office on Tuesday informed Judge Juan Merchan they do not oppose pushing back convicted felon former President Trump’s sentencing date by two weeks to allow Merchan to consider Donald’s stupid motion to overturn the verdict following the Supreme Court’s irrelevant and fascistic decision in the DC coup attempt case.

A new survey by right-leaning pollster Tipp Insights sampled the day before, of, and after President Joe Biden’s train wreck of a debate performance against convicted felon former President Trump finds Biden leading the Orange God Emperor 43 to 41 percent in a head-to-head and by a slimmer 40 to 39 percent when Brainwormed sexual abuser Robert F Kennedy Jr and the other Russian assets Jill Stein and Cornel West are added to the mix. The Libertarian guy was not included.

The pollster’s write-up of the findings go through the already tedious narrative about Dems wanting to replace Biden as the nominee and all that shit but for some reason does not find room to simply carve out a sub-sample of the responses recorded on Friday after the debate when its impact on Biden’s support would’ve been the most raw. Yet TIPP Issues and Insights editor Terry Jones, who would absolutely have access to that data and be able to split out the third day, did not. Which kind of leads us to suspect he’s either deliberately omitting it because even with the pro-MAGA response bias in a lot of these national polls TIPP did not see a meaningful difference between before and after the debate, or he just an incompetent asshole who sucks at polling. Or some of both.

Alcoholic shitbrain former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani this week agreed to allow a bankruptcy trustee to liquidate his assets and sell them off to pay his creditors, the Wall Street Journal reports.

In a very lengthy piece about Brainwormed conspiracy freak independent candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr’s campaign to get convicted felon former President Trump returned to power, Vanity Fair’s Joe Hagan excerpts from the 1998 diary entries by then-23 year-old Eliza Cooney, who at the time was working as the live-in babysitter to both Bobby Jr and then-second wife Mary Richardson’s four kids and as an assistant at Bobby’s environmental law clinic during office hours.

And yeah, you already knew where this was going. “From everything everybody says about the Kennedys + their Babysitters, they had me worried. Like I have to watch out, be careful. And the other night in the kitchen w/ Murray I could have sworn [Bobby Jr] was touching my leg + hand. It seemed like he thought I was somebody else or wasn’t paying attention. Like he would come to every once in a while and snap out of it or I would move away. It was like he was on something or really tired or was missing Mary or was testing me,” Cooney wrote in an entry dated November 7.

It gets worse, even worse than Bobby coming into her bedroom in the middle of the night asking for a backrub. Early the next year, Cooney wrote that she was wearing her yoga clothes and was looking for something to eat in the kitchen pantry “when Kennedy came up behind her, blocked her inside the room, and began groping her, putting his hands on her hips and sliding them up along her rib cage and breasts” per Vanity Fair’s description of an incident that could have gotten worse if not for another domestic worker coming in and interrupting. Cooney recalls that the male worker told Bobby something along the lines of “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your wife to know about” or “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” as if this guy was Bobby’s sex addicts anonymous sponsor.

What makes this “Florida Patriots PAC” – which Punchbowl reports is probably backed by Kevin McCarthy’s “revenge tour” – so sure that painting Congressman Matt Gaetz as a total raging party dude who does drugs and bones underage chicks is a turnoff to primary voters in his district? What if they like a guy who lives out their fantasy wish-fulfillment lifestyle? Maybe this even backfires.

President Joe Biden’s reelection campaign on Tuesday announced they had raised $264 million in the second quarter of 2024, a $75 million increase over Q1 and $38 million of it in the four days since the debate train wreck in Atlanta for $240 million cash on hand, the Washington Post reports.

Convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign and joint committees have not announced their quarterly haul yet, the most recent announcement being that they raked in $106 million last month after the fat fuck was found guilty on 34 felony counts due to a partially-successful effort by his 2016 campaign at covering up a two-minute long sexual encounter that occurred in 2006.

“A really bad day for Deranged Jack Smith, the wacko prosecutor used for Crooked Joe Biden’s attack on his Political Opponent. Today, as in the past, the Supreme Court gave the Deranged One a high level SPANKING! His ‘real’ bosses, Andrew Weissmann and Lisa Monaco, not to mention Merrick Garland, whose once great reputation has been shattered by these Thugs, and his constant defense of Crooked Joe, must be furious at him. Garland ought to call an end to this never ending HOAX, and let people focus on bringing back Greatness to America!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Tuesday, continuing to lord his perceived invincibility over the libs and their “rule of law.”

In a brief news letter note on Monday, The Atlantic’s David Graham raised a pretty good point about the potential risks of a prolonged end-zone dance, writing he “was fascinated to see Trump’s campaign immediately label the decision ‘total immunity.’ Maybe that says more about his love of winning than it does about his team’s strategy. I expect we’ll continue to see more of this: He’ll claim that the Supreme Court fully vindicated him, ignoring that the trial court still has much to work out here, and he’ll say this proves the cases against him are just political persecution… I wonder if this is a good idea, though. Polls show that strong majorities of Americans – understandably! – don’t think the president should be fully immune from prosecution (nor do they trust the Supreme Court). In spiking the football, Trump risks reminding voters about the things they like least about him.”

Once you make that decision on Thursday, there's no going back.

Don't do something you might regret.

— Rishi Sunak (@RishiSunak) July 2, 2024

Under a headline that will totally be taken on the substance of the article therein and not in anyway otherwise be snickered at, Axios reports that the Biden Administration is making an investment in geriatric care training, specifically granting $206 million to medical schools to address a national shortage of geriatricians. News consumers will absolutely take the time necessary to digest the content and not simply scroll past the headline, their sole takeaway being that the Biden White House is training its personnel to care for a certain geriatric-aged member of their staff.

Crashing through the southeastern Caribbean on Monday night, Hurricane Beryl hit sustained wind speeds of 160 mph, promoting it to a Category 5 hurricane, beating the previous record for earliest-declared Cat 5 storm by two weeks, USA Today reports.  Beryl will sustain much of its energy as it travels westerly toward Jamaica, after which it will steadily lose power

The previous record-holder, 2005’s Hurricane Emily, was declared a Category 5 on July 17, 2005.  Beryl became the earliest Category 4 hurricane on record and the first one declared a Cat 4 in June east of the Greater Antilles.

Illegal border crossings fell to their lowest level in more than three years in June following President Joe Biden invoking tougher rules and regulations at the southern border and taking away a major talking point for conservatives in the upcoming election system, CBS News reports.

Fewer than 85,000 undocumented migrants were processed at US immigration centers in June.  That’s the lowest level since 75,000 were caught in January 2021 after the pandemic.  It also marks the fourth consecutive monthly reduction, according to immigration officials.

Will Scharf, one of Donald Trump’s myriad lawyer who no longer must rely on the facts or the law, argues that the schemes to assemble false electors in the wake of Trump’s 2020 election loss was actually an official act of the President.  Scharf, however, doesn’t explain how the President is responsible for assembling slates of electors from various and random states when the Constitution excludes anything to do with electors from the President’s responsibility.  Maybe the Supreme Court can fix that for him.

Fresh off newfound presidential powers he gained thanks to a highly suspect decision from the Supreme Court, former president and convicted felon Donald Trump is now referring to that ruling to move to vacate his felony convictions, the New York Times reports.

In a letter to Judge Juan Merchan explicitly mentions the Supreme Court ruling, saying Trump’s act were covered by the immunity imbued by six activists in robes.  The letter will be made public Tuesday.

Here’s what Democrats should do: In the House and the Senate, put forth bills explicitly countering the SCOTUS decision, making Presidents criminally accountable in federal court for illegal acts done while in office, regardless of if they were impeached and convicted while in office. Call it “The Presidential Accountability Act.”

Put it out. Watch the Republicans vote against it or block it. Then put it out again. And watch the Republicans block it.  Make a commercial of Joe Biden sitting at the Resolute Desk waiting for the legislation to sign.  “C’mon, Republicans, whatcha waiting for?” Joe asked into the camera.  “Don’t you wanna hold me responsible?”

President Joe Biden is expected Monday to announce he’s declaring martial law and ordering sweeping arrests – and summary executions – of his political opponents now that the Supreme Court has ruled in favor of effectively unlimited immunity from prosecution for actions taken while in office.

Probably. In all seriousness when we try to imagine what a canned speech of platitudes about democracy and the need to vote and so on would look like we’re coming up empty. Why even bother with a near-primetime televised address if that’s all he’s going to say? It was one thing to address the nation after the abortion and student loan decisions and promise take whatever steps he could to push back and skirt around the rulings. This is different. The fact that he’s even going to speak about it is kind of remarkable since this is a political matter that concerns him personally, on both ends of this term. What if any steps is he going to announce here? Should we dare to imagine that Dark Brandon’s going to come out here and do something kind of fucking crazy, like dumping every record of Trump’s criminality in office to show Americans what the Supreme Court just greenlit?

Maybe too much to hope for. Still, given that he’s responding like this at all it’s worth considering that this just might be at least some sort of effort at turning crisis into opportunity.

Documents show Palm Beach police detectives were told of the system Jeffrey Epstein set up to lure young girls for sex at his Florida home two years before federal prosecutors cut a lenient deal with him in 2008, new documents released by the Florida state government show.

Per CNN, a Palm Beach detective testified to a grand jury in July 2006 that the initial investigation was opened in March 2005 after a woman reported her stepdaughter was offered $300 to perform a sex act for “a man in Palm Beach.”  Investigators identified Epstein as the man, saying Epstein would tell girls already in his circle to bring their friends to his mansion, thereby recruiting more victims for a $200 finder’s fee.  When one girl brought a 23-year-old friend to Epstein, he said she was too old, the Palm Beach detectives report, telling his recruiters “the younger the better.”

Although Epstein was technically convicted of a crime with his plea agreement in 2008–when the GOP Bush brothers led the governments in DC and Tallahassee–he received no jail time, weekend detention and a guilty plea to two state solicitation charges, with no significant prison time, just 18 months in a lax work-release program.

In a total witch hunt by Maldives President Mohamed Muizzu, the Minister for Environment, Climate Change, and Energy Fathimath Shamnaz Ali Saleem and two unnamed accomplices were arrested last week on suspicion of “performing a black magic spell” after cops allegedly found one or more coconuts with spells damning the president carved into them at her home, Metro UK reports.

So yeah we kind of lied in the headline since Saleem wasn’t technically arrested for witchcraft, but more like wizardry or maybe voodoo. It’s a thing in Maldivian politics. Former President Abdulla Gayoom’s minions were accused of rigging elections in 2013 by hiding eggs and coconuts in certain locations – including a cemetery – around the tiny Indian Ocean archipelago’s capital of Male.