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These fucking people ruining our goddamned jokes again and again. Moore on Thursday also just completely erased 2020 from a chart comparing household incomes under Joe and Donald.

Fat-headed former Hunter Biden pal turned MAGA shitbag Tony Bobulinski on Friday filed a federal defamation lawsuit against New York Dem Congressman for having “repeatedly lied about Plaintiff, Anthony Bobulinski, saying that Mr Bobulinski has used a Trump campaign-paid lawyer to lie since October 2020, spreads Russian disinformation, and is a Trump campaign plant. Defendant lied solely to serve his political agenda by deliberately besmirching the character of Mr. Bobulinski and to protect Joseph Biden. Defendant’s assertions are unequivocally false and defamatory. Mr Bobulinski demanded a complete retraction and deletion of his posts made on X (formerly Twitter) on March 26, 2024, which Defendant wholly ignored. Accordingly, Mr Bobulinski seeks to hold Defendant accountable for his malicious and knowing lies,” and blah blah blah it goes on for 26 pages.

Listed as “counsel for plaintiff” is Jesse R Binnall, a former Trump White House attorney who filed a lawsuit to overturn the 2020 election in Nevada and is currently defending Trump from lawsuits brought by members of Congress and Capitol Police officers over the January 6th insurrection.

Just going to throw out there that it just might kind of be a conflict of interest for an attorney to be representing a plaintiff whose claims of malice are based on a factual dispute over that attorney’s other clients. And not the kind of conflict that could prove advantageous to that plaintiff. The other problem is that Goldman’s himself is an attorney and a pretty fucking smart and tenacious one at that so maybe this is the kind of thing that could kind of blow back on Bobulinski and Binnall if they can even get to a discovery phase with Goldman. But what the hell do we know.

“Total nonfarm payroll employment rose by 303,000 in March, and the unemployment rate changed little at 3.8 percent, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Job gains occurred in health care, government, and construction,” says the monthly US Bureau of Labor Statistics report.

Bloomberg reports the estimates were about 214,000, participation increased closer to pre-pandemic levels, and average hourly earnings went up 0.3 percent, so yeah this was a good month.

SHE’S RUNNING!

“Hillary Clinton and Lin-Manuel Miranda host Biden fundraiser” https://t.co/85py75wzfJ

— Jason Miller (@JasonMillerinDC) April 5, 2024

Multiple witnesses tell CNN that QAnon fan Congresswoman Lauren Boebert was inebriated to the point of being cut off from the open bar at the Trump-headlined New York Young Republicans Club’s annual gala back in December. Grandma Boebert, seated at a table with Donald, was also told by his security detail to stop nagging the fat orange fuck for selfies after she took one too many.

Shiawassee County, Michigan Sheriff Doug Chapman, one of the brownshirted lawmen who stood on stage during fat former President Trump’s white nationalist mini-rally in Grand Rapids on Tuesday, admitted in an interview with the Detroit News that Donald’s rant about “three illegal alien migrants” who had supposedly been recently arrested for “soliciting sex from children,” was mostly bullshit.

“It was kind of misinformation,” Chapman said after some local right wing blogger had “scooped” the story and it made its way into Trump’s diseased brain. Actual reporters dug into it, finding that only one of the three was in the country illegally, at least two of the three had been caught in “To Catch a Predator”-style online chat stings, and one of them was a legal immigrant from Bangladesh who was arrested in June 2021 and the charges were later dropped. So yeah Trump was lying.

The fat fuck also lied about having spoken to the family of Ruby Garcia, who was shot dead by an illegal immigrant who was known to her personally (it’s not clear if they were dating), and that Gov Gretchen Whitmer was handing illegal immigrants $500 a month. That’s a rental subsidy program is open only to legal US residents. The event was themed as “Biden’s Border Bloodbath,” a direct result of Trump’s propaganda operation having a meltdown and screaming “disinformation” over Dems and the MSM reporting correctly that he had warned there would be a “bloodbath” if he isn’t elected.

Israeli military leadership on Friday fired two officers and publicly admitted a “grave mistake” led to the Monday strike that killed seven food aid workers on the ground in Gaza with celebrity chef Jose Andres’s World Central Kitchen organization, CNN reports. The three Brits, a Palestinian, a US-Canadian dual citizen, an Australian, and a Pole were somehow “mistaken” for Hamas terrorists when they were slaughtered in a precision strike that very clearly was not just collateral damage.

Israel-Iran tensions rising as IDF pauses leave for all combat units: 'More alert, more ready' https://t.co/zlXNJjbIR4

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 5, 2024

After dismissing charges against two members of the white nationalist Rise Above Movement last month saying they were unfairly prosecuted, US District Judge for the Central District of California Cormac Carney sentenced a member of the group who accepted a plea deal to time served for assaulting a journalist during a 2017 pro-Trump rally.

The Los Angeles Times reports the defendant, Tyler Laube, admitted to being associated with the Rise Above Movement, which advertises itself as a “combat-ready, militant group of a new nationalist white supremacy and identity movement” as part of his plea deal.  A GW Bush appointee, Carney wrote in his sentencing memo that prosecutors are “ignoring individuals associated with Antifa and related far-left groups,” adding, “Sentencing Mr. Laube to additional incarceration would only increase the disparity between his punishment and the lack of punishment (and prosecution) members of far-left groups who have committed the same violent conduct received.”

This isn’t new with Carney.  In 2019, Carney dismissed criminal conspiracy and rioting charges against Rise Above Movement leader Robert Rundo and three others for their roles in the same riot, saying that the federal statutes were “overly broad” and impinged free speech rights.  The Ninth Circuit reversed his ruling in 2021.

Two candidates in the March 5th “jungle primary” for California’s 16th Congressional District ended in a tie for second place, both drawing 30,249 votes, an unexpected result that will lead an unprecedented election, KQED in San Francisco reports, but there won’t be a recount.  The seat is currently held by incumbent Democrat Anna Eshoo, who is retiring after more than 30 years in Congress.

Instead of undertaking a $300,000 recount for the second-place finisher to former San José Democratic mayor Sam Liccardo, who got 21.1% of the vote, the campaigns and the county commissions agreed that both second-place finishers, Democrats Assemblymember Evan Low and Santa Clara County Supervisor Joe Simitian, at 16.6%, would appear on the November ballot, making it the first three-way general election since California adopted the no-Party open primary system in 2010.

Mar-a-Lago resident who knew nothing… nothing! …about the cache of classified documents scattered about the grounds Melania Trump will hold her first political fundraiser at her residential supper club to benefit Log Cabin Republicans, Politico reports.

The former Third First Lady didn’t really care much about the early stages of her husband’s dual storylines:  his presidential campaign reality show and his multi-chapter legal drama.  But to the chagrin of the bigoted base of the Republican Party and Evangelicals, Melania has maintained a strong connection to the LGBTQ community, perhaps from her days as an international fashion model who (allegedly) merited an “Einstein” visa.

After spending the majority of his first segment pleadingly trying to convince his audience not to vote for Robert Kennedy, Jr.–after he spent weeks touting the campaign of the vanity candidate–Trump advisor and Fox host Sean Hannity awkwardly chirped up when Ari Fleischer tried to make a joke about “most conservative Kennedy.”  Hannity announced he thought John F. Kennedy Jr. was the most conservative; Fleischer’s joke turns out that he was referring to John Kennedy, the Southern-fried Republican Senator from Lousiana.  When Hannity tried to defend his statement, Fleischer cowed Hannity sharply:  “But… but we’re not talking about JFK.  This is not about him.”  And Tomi “Don’t call me Tammy” Lahren appeared to like watching the humiliation.

Sliding into her after-hours gig as co-chair of the Republican National Committee once she wraps up a hard day at the karaoke studio in her basement, oppressed pop superstar Lara Trump explains to third-tier cable news network host Eric Bolling that the melding of the Trump campaign and the Republican National Committee means they can cut down on staff because instead of two people doing the same thing, one person will do it now.  “We really are a cohesive team.  There’s no daylight between the two of us, the Trump campaign and the RNC, and that goes to the advantage of Donald Trump.”  Down-ticket Republicans should be panicking now:  there will be no help from the national Party.  It’s all about Donald.

After heavy diplomatic pressure from the Biden Administration to address the increasing humanitarian crisis in Gaza, the Israeli government of Benjamin Netanyahu has agreed to open a second border crossing into the besieged area, the New York Times reports.

An announcement by the National Security Council states that “at the President’s request,” Israel agreed to open a border crossing in northern Gaza and allow access to the port at Ashdod for humanitarian shipments.  Netanyahu reportedly agreed to the actions after Biden said further aid to Israel would be conditioned on how Israel handled its response to getting aid to the people in Gaza, who have suffered with shortages of food and water since Hamas attacked Israel on October 7th.

The federal judge overseeing disgraced landscaping company promoter Rudy Giuliani’s bankruptcy warned the suspended Trump lawyer that prevailing in a creditors’ motion to force him to sell his $3.5 million Florida condo would lead to “far more draconian requests for relief in the future,” Reuters reports.

Saying he could achieve a “pyrrhic victory” by temporarily holding on to the Florida property, US Bankruptcy Judge Sean Lane told Giuliani, “This is a warning shot across the bow,” and that his creditors would be more stringent and less likely to negotiate with Giuliani on future terms.

After a $148 million defamation to two Georgia election workers, Giuliani declared bankruptcy claiming assets of less than $10 million with debts between $100- and $500 million.  Giuliani says he intends to sell his Manhattan apartment, which was initially put on the market since last August for $6.5 million, does not currently have an active listing, and move to his Florida condo.

The US Army Corps of Engineers released a plan to clear the shipping channel blocked by the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge by the end of May, a schedule that would require the reloading of hundreds of containers that remain on the MV Dali onto barges and then removing the wreckage, the Baltimore Banner reports.

“We are working quickly and safely to clear the channel and restore full service at this port that is so vital to the nation. At the same time, we continue to keep faith with the families of the missing and are working with our partners to help locate and recover their loved ones,” Corps Commanding General Lt. Gen. Scott A. Spellmon said.

The opening of the shipping lanes means thousands of port workers in Baltimore would be able to return to work within two months, and other operations–from car imports to sugar processing–could resume.  The schedule for replacing the bridge is unknown.

The New York Attorney General’s office asked Judge Arthur Engoron to expand the authority of the state-appointed monitor overseeing the Trump organization to include a possible investigation into former CFO Allen Weisselberg’s admitted perjury to see if there was additional perjury.

Weisselburg pleaded guilty in March to perjury related to testimony he gave in the civil financial fraud case which was recently decided in the State’s favor, forcing Donald Trump to disgorge nearly half a billion dollars (for now) in ill-gotten gains.  AG Letitia James’s office now wants the Monitor to have the authority to (1) share docs and data with other agencies and (2) investigate whether the information Weisselberg provided the State AG’s office on behalf of the company matched the information given to the Manhattan district attorney’s office.  The result of such an investigation could lead to additional charges for Weisselberg.

We’re getting sick of writing “But sure, tell us how RFK Jr is much more of a threat to Biden than Trump” at the end of pretty much every article here about him. So this time we switched it up and put it at the beginning. NBC News reports Bobby Jr’s campaign in Thursday emailed fans to hit them up for cash by telling them “political prisoner Julian Assange,” should be exonerated and that such “persecution” is “the reality that every American Citizen faces – from Ed Snowden, to Julian Assange to the J6 activists sitting in a Washington DC jail cell stripped of their Constitutional liberties. Please help our campaign call out the illiberal actions of our very own government.”

Manhattan Judge Arthur Engoron on Thursday scheduled an April 22 hearing to determine whether the $175 million bond disgraced former President Trump filed to appeal his defeat in the lawsuit against his corrupt business empire to meets minimum qualifications as AG Letitia James informed the judge that payday loan hustler Don Hankey’s paperwork may not be on the up-and-up.

Because if Engoron rules it isn’t then that’s probably (hopefully) going to be the end of the line and James can start seizing his assets as the ten day clock expired Thursday afternoon.

Trump-Appointed Judge Shoots Down Trump's Bid to Dismiss Classified Docs Case https://t.co/yTKWWXN3yf

— Mediaite (@Mediaite) April 4, 2024

True to fashion, the “journalism” practiced by popular yet middling-at-best quality sites on Thursday made a ruling from MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon seem like a “defeat” for fat former President Trump without properly qualifying the more significant part of her ruling: Cannon also denied Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s motion asking her to rule on an issue of the jury instructions and basically positioned it in a way that she can rig the trial in Trump’s favor when it’s already started… Not only acquitting the fat fuck but making it impossible to refile the charges.