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Addressing the House Republican caucus at the Capitol on Wednesday, convicted felon President-Elect Trump told members “I suspect I won’t be running again unless you say he’s so good we got to figure something else out,” the AP’s Farnoush Amiri reports on “trial balloon”-ing by the fat fuck.

Sources tell CNN that Third Lady Melania Trump is unlikely to actually move in to the White House in January, leaving her elderly and mentally frail husband free rein to murder prostitutes in the presidential mansion’s residential area without her interfering or witnessing the crimes.

A Republican Ohio state House representative is working to deliver on the mandate handed to her majority by voters last week and pushing for an end to the suffocating “wokeness” that plagues higher education in the Buckeye State by introducing a bill to ban public colleges from asking would-be students to list their preferred pronouns on applications, the Columbus Dispatch reports.

“With the funding of public education, I just feel that there should be no bias involved in that. I just felt that being able to eliminate the pronouns really took away any bias off of somebody’s application whether it be for employment or for acceptance at the college,” said Representative Gail Pavliga, who apparently believes that those who select “they/them” or some other non-binary pronoun secretly boosts them with preferential consideration in the application process.

Thirteen of Ohio’s public universities use a platform called the Common App, which allows admissions staffs to make adjustments to individual questions and add their own to an applicant’s bid to be accepted to multiple institutions. A few of these colleges have added their own questions about sexuality and gender identity to their process. Bowling Green State University – site of an infamous, yet fictional massacre – and the University of Akron made these questions optional.

With his entire Infowars on the auction block on Wednesday to pay off a billion-dollar defamation judgment to Sandy Hook parents, Alex Jones should be filling out paperwork for an unemployment check.  Instead, he’s probably planning on never missing a show because a self-described “ally” of Jones is expected to buy the entire Infowars business for a seven-figure sum.

CNN reports that the unnamed Friend of Alex will continue the entire Infowars operation, with Jones at the mic, but simply under new ownership.

At some point, a person who’s honest with themselves says, “Nah, there’s no way I should accept this job.”  I, for example, would not take the position of a cardiovascular surgeon because of all the schoolin’ needed.  Even with significant prerequisite skills missing, Fox News weekend host Pete Hegseth has been named as Donald Trump’s nominee to lead the most powerful military in the world as the United States Secretary of Defense, NBC News reports.

Besides playing the occasional game of Risk, Hegseth’s military planning and logistics experience as a major in the Minnesota National Guard is sufficient enough to oversee the military operation with a $820 billion, 2.86 million person Department of Defense.

In other news, Silicon Valley creatures Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy will head a new federal Department of Government Efficiency Department, or something as ridiculous, to “dismantle federal bureaucracy.”  … because staffing an entirely new federal Cabinet department is exceptionally efficient.

Pennsylvania woman Savannah Huntington tells CNN she’s joyous that convicted felon President-Elect Trump will soon return to power and liberate her mom Rachel Powell from the West Virginia federal prison where she resides for her 2022 conviction on eight felonies committed during the January 6, 2021 MAGA insurrection at the US Capitol. “The only thing I could think of when I heard that Trump won the election was that my mom is coming home,” said Huntington of the woman who birthed her and then decades later used an ice axe to smash into the windows of the Capitol in a violent rage over Trump’s humiliating defeat to Joe Biden in the 2020 presidential election, just never mind that Powell was a pretty shitty mother who left her kids alone to go to DC that day.

“I believe that Trump is a man of his word,” said Powell over a prison phone to CNN and if you’re done snorting then the rest of the article quotes from other people who were unsubtle about the heat the fat fuck could face from his cult if he ends up caving to pressure from Republicans who really don’t want him pardoning anyone beyond maybe a token few misdemeanants.

“Unless the president pardons everybody, he is going to get some significant blowback,” said mentally ill MAGA lawyer John Pierce, who has represented dozens of the insurrectionists. “They are not a shy group of people.” Other shitbag attorney Joseph McBride was less absolutist but still all for it. “Not everybody who went to the Capitol was a saint, right? So, you have to draw distinctions between people. Even in the situations where people were violent, maybe a pardon is not the best idea, but maybe a commutation is, maybe a lessening of the punishment,” said McBride.

A group of Howell, Michigan-area residents on Saturday showed up to protest a local theater company’s performance of The Diary of Anne Frank, shouting slogans in opposition to the American Legion Post 141 hosting the stage adaptation of the journal of the teenage Holocaust victim.

And yeah, Detroit affiliate WXYZ actually uses the word “protest” in their text article and on the screen in the segment above to describe what’s unambiguously a hate crime in the moral sense if not in statute. That’s not a “protest” any more than the Holocaust was a “solution.” Like they’re upfront about it being intimidation by actual Nazis, but the slippery wording is more than a little disconcerting. “Protesting” carries them a lot of the way toward legitimacy, like they’re on the same tier as pro-choicers outside the Supreme Court on the day of the Dobbs decision. Hell, say what you will about the “pro-lifers” waving gruesome photos of the aftermath of abortions at their “protests,” at least those freaks by all appearances believe their cause is just and they’re doing the right thing.

What were these guys “protesting”? Jews? Is there anything else to say besides they were simply protesting Jews, not even with some Moms for Liberty-type horseshit pretense like the content of the play is somehow inappropriate? Is it on us to point out that if they actually were committed to combatting the malign reach of the “International Jew” then they’d show up at an AIPAC fundraiser or something, and it’s obvious they’re simply too fucking lazy, cowardly, or both to do that?

Anyway yes, this county voted 61 to 37 percent for Trump this year. You guessed correctly.

What was already a horrifying ordeal for four boaters whose catamaran sprung a leak and began sinking hundreds miles out in the Atlantic Ocean from Bermuda on Sunday turned downright “magical” when their distress calls to the US Coast Guard were relayed to not a fishing trawler or oil tanker, but the hulking Disney Cruise Line ship Disney Treasure, ABC News reports.

The crew sent a small shuttle boat to their aid and took the four, a married couple, their daughter, and a cousin ranging in age from 25 to 74 aboard the happy, exciting, fun-for-the-whole family ship that was en route to Florida from the Netherlands. Further details, such as whether the crew members sent for the pickup wore eyepatches, bandanas, and sang “Yo-ho-ho! A pirate’s life for me!” or if they dressed as the characters from The Little Mermaid and sang “Under the Sea! Under The Sea! Darling it’s better! Down where it’s wetter! Take it from me!” or whether they sang anything at all to the nearly-doomed boaters on the way back to the Treasure, were unavailable.

Given that ABC News is technically the state media of the semi-sovereign mega corporation that has its own armada the specifics of how the survivors were treated were otherwise suppressed.

Forestry officials in Britain are asking the public’s help to contain an exploding outbreak of deer that threatens to completely destroy the island’s natural ecosystems, the Associated Press reports.

The infestation is a side-effect of the COVID-19 pandemic, during which the ungulate parasites quickly multiplied while relatively unfettered by natural predators such as automobiles, trains, and human hunters who like to shoot at the closest thing to another human they legally can.

Venison wholesaler Ben Rigby tells the AP the flesh of the ravenous plague could catch on in popularity for human consumption. “We’re not really a game-eating nation, not like in France or Germany or Scandinavia,” Rigby said. “But the UK is becoming more and more aware of it and our trade is growing.” Food pantry coordinator SJ Hunt said demand is growing because that’s what they’re serving these days. One recent hit was a venison bolognese sauce distributed in pouches to pantries last year when canned beans or sardines were the only proteins needy folks could get.

“There were no eggs. There was no cheese. That’s all that they could do, and people were just saying, ‘Thank you, please bring more (of the venison),” she said. “That’s fantastic, because people realize they’re doing a double positive with helping the environment by utilizing the meat as well.”

I've been nominated to be an advisor to the incoming Trump administration on innovative technology. The public can vote on nominations.
If I was accepted as an advisor to the Trump admin on technology, I would inform them of what I have learned about exotic propulsion systems,…

— Michael Salla (@MichaelSalla) November 12, 2024

“If I was accepted as an advisor to the Trump admin on technology, I would inform them of what I have learned about exotic propulsion systems, secret space programs, ET and ancient technologies, etc, through my exopolitics research, interviews with hundreds of whistleblowers / Insiders / contactees, leaked Majestic documents, etc,” continued Dr Michael Salla, founder of the “Exopolitics Institute,” who has lent his on-camera expertise to no fewer than 13 episodes of the long-running History Channel speculative “science” series Ancient Aliens including Season 11’s “Pyramids of Antarctica,” Season 14’s “The Reptilian Agenda,” and Season 15’s “The Came From The Pleiades.”

In a blog post by Salla hyping a 1 hr 14 minute YouTube video posted last week Salla writes he and Romanian alien expert/psychic contactee Elena Danaan discussed “her experiences, along with Corina Pataki, of what was discovered inside the Bucegi mountains of Romania. They cover what was detected concerning a plasma consciousness that surrounds an anomaly allegedly first discovered under the Bucegi mountains in 2003. Danaan recognized the facility as an ancient Anunnaki laboratory built tens or hundreds of thousands of years ago from her own past life memories. Danaan and Dr Salla also analyze the ancient story of Adapa and Enki or Ea, where EA was not the trickster god that is depicted in some Sumerian texts but in fact actually saved the life of Adapa who was about to be punished for killing a Ciakar (Draconian leader).”

Among the dire warnings about sea level rise and permafrost thawing due to increasing global temperatures in the new “State of The Cryosphere 2024” report that dropped on Tuesday from the International Cryosphere Climate Initiative is one extremely unwelcome side effect that will no doubt actually help perpetuate climate change denialism given its counterintuitive nature.

The “Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation (AMOC) may be en route to collapse due to a combination of ice sheet and sea ice melt and warmer waters. Once at the point of collapse, the AMOC would likely not recover for thousands of years. AMOC collapse would have far-reaching and dramatic impacts, including rapid cooling of Northern Europe by more than 3°C per decade, with no realistic means of adaptation. As a result of growing evidence of such collapse, a group of 40 leading ocean and climate scientists warned leaders of the urgent need to cut emissions,” and yeah you don’t need a crystal ball to foresee how the weather in Europe abruptly – the report elsewhere says the collapse is likely already underway and take as little as a decade – turning colder would be received by the MAGA kids who claim every blizzard means global warming is a hoax.

However, as this is the plot of the 2004 disaster film The Day After Tomorrow the fanboys might actually be more accepting of the idea, even if the timeline of the rapid cooling event is obviously compressed in the movie. Can’t hurt that lead Dennis Quaid is now MAGA, having starred in that Reagan biopic and endorsed their Orange God Emperor at that rally in Coachella last month.

A government tribunal in Bangladesh on Tuesday asked international police organization Interpol to issue a warrant for the arrest of former Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina over the deaths of hundreds of protesters during the August mass uprising that saw her ouster, the AP reports.

You really have to wonder where the fuck this idiot (that’s bootleg Trump merch on his head, by the way, they sell those in Chinatown) got the idea that “family-oriented” illegal members of his community would somehow be exempted from the MAGA Reich’s very plainly stated goals of deporting 15 to 20 million undocumented non-citizens. It’d be one thing if he somehow made it up on the fly while being grilled on CNN but the phrasing seems almost a little too specific and crafted for that, as though some Spanish-language campaign ad he heard on the radio a few weeks ago used that exact verbiage to tell the community that it’s okay to vote for Trump, your undocumented neighbor or relative won’t have to worry about getting dragged out of their homes, all the while the white nativists on Team Orange are telling their much larger Caucasian base “Yes, we abso-fucking-lutely are going to try to round up every illegal and their citizen kids too,” every day for the past year.

The reporter should’ve asked the guy what he thinks “family-oriented” means and who’s tasked with making the determination in these no doubt grimly Kafka-esque summary hearings next year.

“In his future policies, including those on the Russian track US President-elect Donald Trump will rely on the commitments to the forces that brought him to power, rather than on election pledges, Russian presidential aide Nikolay Patrushev told the daily Kommersant in an interview. ‘The election campaign is over,’ Patrushev noted. ‘To achieve success in the election, Donald Trump relied on certain forces to which he has corresponding obligations. As a responsible person, he will be obliged to fulfill them,'” says an actual Kremlin press release via state media outlet TASS.

“He agreed that Trump, when he was still a candidate, ‘made many statements critical of the destructive foreign and domestic policies pursued by the current administration.’ ‘But very often election pledges in the United States can diverge from subsequent actions,’ he recalled.”

In a story headlined “Minnesota dad who ranted against Trump election gunned down wife, ex-girlfriend and his 2 kids in murder-suicide,” the New York Post does not say why 46 year-old Duluth, Minnesota lib Anthony Nephew murdered his ex-girlfriend and their 15 year-old son, then his wife and their 7 year-old son before turning the gun on himself in a Friday rampage, they just imply he snapped because the convicted felon former president is on his way back to the White House.

“Implying” is doing a lot of work here. “Before his rampage, Anthony Nephew had been sharing left-wing and anti-Trump posts on his Facebook account. ‘My mental health and the world can no longer peacefully coexist, and a lot of the reason is religion,’ Anthony Nephew wrote in July,” says the Post in their article, seemingly trying to will into existence a direct connection between the asshole’s politics and that he murdered his current and former partners and both of his sons.

“Nephew shared other political posts, including an image of former president Barack Obama, Trump, President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris. The word ‘hate’ sits under Trump’s face, while the words ‘hope,’ ‘heal’ and ‘grow’ correspond with the Democratic politicians,” the Post continues, making it obvious they don’t have anything else to make politics relevant to the tragedy.

Packaging for new Mattel Barbie dolls for the Glenda the Good Witch and Wicked Witch of the West characters in the upcoming Wizard of Oz musical prequel film Wicked bear not the correct URL for the film on the back but instead a pornography site of the same name, Kotaku reports. The toy company over the weekend quickly pulled the two products from shelves at major retailers for what we assume would be a rapid repackaging job in order to capitalize on this month’s hotly-anticipated debut of the film adaptation of the hit Broadway show without the embarrassing porn asterisk.

Kotaku’s article cites a tweet with pics of the boxes and the URL “Wicked.com” on the back – where it should have said “WickedMovie.com” – raising interesting questions about how the graphic designer’s fuckup was discovered. Nowhere in the reporting or in the tweet does anyone say “MY LITTLE GIRL IS SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS MOVIE AND WANTED TO SEE THE WEBSITE! SHE TYPED IT IN AND IMMEDIATELY SHE CLICKED ‘YES I AM 18 OR OLDER’ AND SAW A GANGBANG!”

Meaning that, irrespective of whether or not the graphic designer did this as a troll – and we’re going to guess probably not – it’s very likely that nobody actually went to Wicked.com thinking they were about to check out a trailer and stills from the movie only to be met with graphic video of sexual intercourse. Instead it’s quite possible someone along the line here had to have said “Oh shit, that’s a porn site and they printed it on the box of a kids’ toy! Oh wait… I mean, my friend said he has a monthly membership at Wicked.com and recommended it to me on several occasions but since I do not ever look at internet porn ever I do not know any further specifics about that site’s content beyond that it is indeed pornographic in nature and this is very bad that Mattel accidentally printed the incorrect URL for the Wicked movie,” or similar, without ever specifying the name of the friend.

Share prices for private prison companies Geo Group and CoreCivic jumped nearly 4 and 8 percent, respectively in pre-market trading on Monday after convicted felon President-Elect Trump announced he would name far right extremist former acting ICE Director Tom Homan as his “border czar,” CNBC reports on a pretty obvious indicator of where things are going for undocumented folks.

In related news, several day laborers outside of a Home Depot in Texas on Wednesday told the Austin American-Statesman they were “optimistic” that Trump’s return to power will create more work for them. “More investment. If things get moving, that creates work,” said a man identified only as Danilo, adding “Trump wants to deport those who do bad things… I haven’t broken any laws.”

Several other men who said they’re also undocumented nodded along in agreement with Danilo.

Above is a screenshot of a tweet by Tristan Tate, brother of sex trafficker/bro-influencer Andrew Tate, as retweeted by Neo-Nazi MAGA shitbag Nick Fuentes, whose home address was doxxed a few days ago when he posted “Your body, my choice” to the obvious and understandable consternation of women furious over rapist misogynist convicted felon former President Donald Trump returning to power after suckering enough low-info dumbasses into voting for him.

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump will nominate shrill scumbag upstate New York Congresswoman Elise Stefanik to be the US Ambassador to the United Nations, CNN reports.

America’s communist neighbor just can’t catch a break as eastern Cuba has been hit with a 6.8 magnitude earthquake on Sunday, four days after Category 3 Hurricane Rafael tore into the island and weeks after its electrical grid collapsed due to lack of fuel, the Associated Press reports.

There were no immediate information on major damage or injuries available, though folks in Santiago, Cuba’s second largest city, told the AP they had heard screams and saw masonry cracking during the lengthy initial rumble that was followed by at least two strong aftershocks.