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Top rated political superhero action series Fox News, which airs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on its own eponymous channel, has rehired Greg Wilson, the bad-boy scriptwriter credited with the fan-favorite “Seth Rich murder mystery” character arc but later fired after the family of a real-life murder victim with the same name and likeness sued the production company, the Daily Beast reports.

Rich, a young Democratic Party staffer who was tragically shot dead by an unknown assailant on a Washington DC street in 2016 was the inspiration for the plot line concocted by Wilson, one in which the fictional version of Seth Rich was a patriot who paid the ultimate price for bravely exposing the limitless corruption within the DNC. Audiences were absolutely riveted by the drama over Rich getting cut down by assassins sent by none other than MAGA Cinematic Universe fan-favorite villain Hillary Clinton, so it makes perfect sense for Fox News‘s creative team to bring back Wilson going into their hotly-anticipated, ultra-high stakes “Election Year 2024: This Time It’s Personal” storyline.

Israeli and Hamas negotiators are closing in on a deal for a multi-day ceasefire and paroling of Palestinian prisoners in exchange for the release of Israeli hostages abducted from towns in the vicinity of Gaza during the October 7th terrorist attack, Axios reports on a potential breakthrough.

Worried that they might become even more of a national laughingstock if they go forward with a vote on formalizing an inquiry or actual articles of impeachment against President Joe Biden, House Republicans have set an internal deadline of January to find a “smoking gun” that will actually convince enough “moderates” in their conference to make it happen or they’re going to have to drop the effort, with the latter becoming the increasingly more likely outcome, Politico reports.

“Any kind of an impeachment puts our [members in districts that voted for Biden in the 2020 election] in a really tough spot,” said one member anonymously. “Impeachment hurts us politically – it makes our base feel better.” The frontliners have warned Speaker Mike Johnson that they’re going to need a smoking gun to be moved on the issue, something that same anonymous member straight up said wasn’t happening. “I don’t think we’re going to have a closed-caption video with some Chinese national handing Joe Biden the bank money,” the weasel said, adding the case would ride on a “mountain of circumstantial evidence,” but that some federal prosecutions have been really circumstantial too. Politico should’ve quoted them directly on that gem of an admission.

The clock continues ticking inexorably. “We understand that the further you go toward an election, the more politicized these conversations become. That’s why it’s all the more important for us to begin to take action sooner rather than later,” said Virginia Republican Ben Cline.

The steel mesh safety net hanging from pylons 20 feet below the walkways of San Francisco’s Gold Gate Bridge is about 80 percent installed and will be completed next month, CNN reports on the life-saving deterrent that probably risks becoming something fun to do for idiots filming YouTube videos.

The North Korean government officially notified Japan’s Coast Guard that it plans to launch a rocket into space sometime between Wednesday and December 1st, with foreign affairs pundits believing this is the third attempt to launch a spy satellite, Reuters reports.

Pyongyang notified the Japanese government because Japan serves as the regional authority for maritime craft in the area, and it will order a corridor over the Yellow Sea to be on alert for falling North Korea debris.  After North Korea announced its failed attempt to launch a spy satellite in May, South Korea recovered the wreckage and reported it found nothing resembling surveillance equipment or anything that had “military utility.”

Although Jason Chaffetz is whining–as Republicans are wont to do when they have no policies on which they can run–about seeing a turkey for $90 at a local supermarket, the cost of turkey dinner is actually down this year, to $61.17 for an entire Thanksgiving meal for ten people.  So Chaffetz is shopping for some high-end, organic, free-range, gold-gilded turkey if the bird alone is 50% more than the cost of an entire dinner for 10.

Evidently feeling like they had to up the ante after the owner of a much larger but still similarly failing under self-inflicted damage social network sued Media Matters, the team at Truth Social led by dipshit CEO Devin Nunes on Monday filed a defamation complaint against Guardian News and Media LLC, Hollywood Reporter LLC, The McClatchy Company LLC dba Miami Herald, Alex Mena, Reuters News and Media Inc, Rolling Stone LLC, Nexstar Media Inc dba The Hill, Deadline Hollywood LLC, Accretive Capital LLC dba Benzinga, MarketWatch.com LLC, Forbes Media LLC, Axios Media Inc, The Daily Beast Company LLC, G/O Media Inc dba Gizmodo, Salon.com LLC, New York Daily News, Newsweek, MSNBC Cable LLC, Mediaite LLC, DMG Media Ltd dba Daily Mail, and CNBC LLC for reporting on Truth Social’s massive losses and deeply precarious financial position.

“Today Truth Social filed a defamation lawsuit that is likely unprecedented in history, incorporating twenty publications – and even more may be added. All of them published the same false information about Truth Social and refused to fully retract their stories. To the Fake News outlets that think themselves above accountability: we’ll see you in court,” says the network’s official account in the announcement. In a shred of fairness, the warnings over this lawsuit do predate Musk’s freakout at Media Matters by two days. Still can’t help but feel like Nunes and Trump pulled the trigger to ride the wave a little bit alongside Musk’s crusade against a free press.

There’s definitely some FOMO to this too. Of course it’s better National Zero doesn’t get sued by Truth Social, it’s just… Well we actually didn’t pick up the story about the losses, so we can tell ourselves that we would’ve been listed in the complaint if we did. It’s a comforting thought.

A three-judge panel from the conservative Eight Circuit Court of Appeals–where only one of the 17 judges serving was nominated by someone not named Reagan, Bush or Trump–upheld a controversial ruling by a Trump-appointed judge in Eastern Arkansas that limits the legal ability of individuals and private groups to sue to uphold access to the polls under the Voting Rights Act, the Washington Post reports.

Upholding the decision of Judge Lee Rudofsky, the panel ruled that any lawsuit seeking remedy under the Voting Rights Act must be led or joined by the United States Department of Justice, which the court ruled is the only entity that can sue to enforce the Voting Rights Act.

Judge Raymond Gruender, George W. Bush appointee, joined Trump appointee David Stras’s decision, which stated that under Section 2 of the law, only the Justice Department may sue.  The dissent was written by another W appointee, 8th Circuit Chief Judge Lavenski Smith who wrote that while “admittedly, the Court has never directly addressed the existence of a private right of action under [Article 2],” the court has “repeatedly considered such cases, held that private rights of action exist under other sections of the VRA, and concluded in other VRA cases that a private right of action exists under [Article 2].  Until the Court rules or Congress amends the statute, I would follow existing precedent that permits citizens to seek a judicial remedy.  Rights so foundational to self-government and citizenship should not depend solely on the discretion or availability of the government’s agents for protection.”

Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton on Monday announced he was jumping on the anti-Media Matters crusade, writing in a statement: “The Office of the Attorney General (‘OAG’) is opening an investigation into Media Matters for potential fraudulent activity. Under the Texas Business Organizations Code and the Deceptive Trade Practices Act, the OAG will vigorously enforce against nonprofits who commit fraudulent acts in or affecting the state of Texas.”

Continued: “Attorney General Paxton was extremely troubled by the allegations that Media Matters, a radical anti-free speech organization, fraudulently manipulated data on X.com (formerly known as Twitter). ‘We are examining the issue closely to ensure that the public has not been deceived by the schemes of radical left-wing organizations who would like nothing more than to limit freedom by reducing participation in the public square,’ said Attorney General Paxton.”

After promising to file a “thermonuclear lawsuit” against Media Matters the “split second” a courthouse opened on Monday morning, antisemitic LSD-brained billionaire edgelord Elon Musk finally got his shit together and made the complaint much later in the day, Axios reports on some vexatious bullshit tantrum from the jackass after the advertiser exodus from Twitter.

“Defendant Media Matters for America (‘Media Matters’) is a self-proclaimed media watchdog that decided it would not let the truth get in the way of a story it wanted to publish about X Corp. Looking to portray X’s social networking platform as being dominated by ‘white nationalist and anti-Semitic conspiracy theories,’ Media Matters knowingly and maliciously manufactured side-by-side images depicting advertisers’ posts on X Corp’s social media platform beside Neo-Nazi and white-nationalist fringe content and then portrayed these manufactured images as if they were what typical X users experience on the platform. Media Matters designed both these images and its resulting media strategy to drive advertisers from the platform and destroy X Corp,” reads the federal complaint, filed in the Northern District of Texas, probably to shop for a MAGA judge.

A Monday Truth Social push notification reading “🚨 NEW: Top House Democrat says Trump ‘has to be eliminated'” which led to a post by Fox News host Sean Hannity that said “GOLDMAN: “It is just unqestionable [sic] at this point that [Donald Trump] cannot see public office again…he has to be eliminated,” linking to an “article” on Hannity.com titled “‘HE HAS TO BE ELIMINATED’: Goldman Talks Dangers of Trump’s Rhetoric – Then Calls for His Elimination” made it abundantly clear that Truth Social management wanted users to be made aware that Democratic New York City Congressman Dan Goldman did in fact call for the fat former President to be “eliminated” during a Sunday interview on MSNBC with former Biden White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki.

Now, rather than adding context to what Goldman said to Psaki because if Goldman had specified that the CIA should kill Trump you would’ve known it already, we’ll simply highlight some of the “rhetoric” to which Goldman was responding that the Hannity “article” failed to mention: Pledging to “root out the Communists, Marxists, Fascists, and Radical Left Thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our Country,” vowing “retribution” for his aggrieved fan base, calling 2024 the “final battle,” and all sorts of far more menacing shit that makes a response using the verb “eliminate” seem more or less justifiable if not appropriate. Hannity’s staff left all that out.

“Kenneth Chesebro and asks the Court to modify his probation to allow him to travel to Nevada, Arizona and the District of Columbia (‘DC’). Currently, as reported in the national media, there are investigations of the ‘election fraud’ cases ongoing in Nevada, Arizona and DC. Mr Chesebro needs to be able to travel to these jurisdictions in order to meet with counsel, etc. Mr Chesebro’s probation officer has asked for us to obtain an order to authorize this travel. Mr Chesebro respectfully asks this Court to modify his probation to allow him to travel to and from Nevada, Arizona and DC,” writes MAGA lawyer Kenny Chesebro’s defense lawyer to the court in Fulton County, Georgia.

Which prooooobably means that the Arizona and Nevada attorneys general (and Jack Smith) have subpoenaed Chesebro to answer questions about his involvement in the very same criminal conspiracy that he’s already pleaded guilty to in Georgia. Even better if he’s politely asking the Georgia court to simply let him travel rather than freaking out and suing to block the subpoenas and all that shit then that prooooobably means he’s intent on cooperating with them. Smart move considering he’s already admitted to his involvement in the nationwide plot in one jurisdiction.

So if that’s all true then the Nevada and Arizona investigations are fairly far along AND they could end up snagging the Holy Orange God Emperor for directing the fake electors plot too.

The all-Republican Board of Commissioners in deep MAGA Mohave County, Arizona on Monday voted 3-2 against potentially going to jail by authorizing a plan to ditch the county’s electronic ballot tabulating machines for a hand-count in the upcoming presidential primary election and thus incurring the legal wrath of Democrat Attorney General Kris Mayes, KNPX’s Braham Reznik reports.

The vote came at the end of contentious meeting featuring a number of citizens who stood up to tell the board that they were either stupid and wasting taxpayer time for entertaining this stupid bullshit again or would be doing the bidding of World Economic Forum President Klaus Schwab if they did not ditch the electronic tabulators. Arizona state Senate Majority Leader Sonny Borrelli, who has repeatedly told counties that they have to switch to hand-counting with zero legal authority to do so, refused to tell the Mohave county attorney who would be paying for the legal defense for the board members if they went through with the plan and were subsequently sued and/or prosecuted by Mayes’s office, even though Borelli knew. Another speaker pointed out that this would-be private county defense attorney is facing disbarment for misconduct committed during his unsuccessful case to get Kari Lake’s defeat overturned. The meeting was pretty entertaining.

“I have been President Donald J Trump’s personal physician since 2021. During this time, I have conducted several comprehensive examinations, the most recent being September 13, 2023, and have supervised specialist consultations along with ancillary testing for screening and preventative health maintenance. I am pleased to report that President Trump’s overall health is excellent.”

“His physical exams were well within the normal range and his cognitive exams were exceptional [lol, no they weren’t]. In addition, his most recent extensive laboratory analysis remains well within normal limits and was even more favorable than prior testing in some of the most significant parameters [sure, buddy], most likely secondary to weight reduction. Cardiovascular studies are all normal and cancer screening tests are all negative. President Trump has reduced his weight [How much does he weigh?] through an improved diet and continued daily physical activity, while maintaining a rigorous schedule. It is my opinion that President Trump is currently in excellent health, and with his continued interest in preventative health monitoring and maintenance, he will continue to enjoy a healthy active lifestyle for years to come,” says a letter signed by disgraced former President Trump’s new personal physician Bruce Aronwald, DO. Trump needed a new medical sign-off guy after the last one died under unknown circumstances on January 8, 2021.

Haley to kid wearing a ‘Nikki Haley’ hat: I love your hat

Kid: Thanks, one of your guys gave it to me for free pic.twitter.com/XIUmAEZIle

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) November 20, 2023

Hearing aid-wearing The Villages, Florida resident Alfred Stern Himmelright, will likely escape prosecution after an arguably self-defense-induced domestic battery charge from an August incident in which an unidentified “ladyfriend” of Himmelright’s became enraged after the 71 year-old man turned off his hearing aid to effective mute her ranting, the Villages-News.com reports.

The “ladyfriend” then took off Himmelright’s shoes and threw both at him while screaming something else that Himmelright did not hear, prompting him to throw them back angrily, hitting her in the head. A judge last week permitted Himmelright was to enter into a pretrial intervention contract in which must complete a batterer’s intervention program, pay court costs and may only have phone contact with the woman for a 12-month period to have the charge dismissed.

The words “golden shower incident” appear in the headline of a Monday article by the York Daily Record, a newspaper based in and dedicated to covering the south-central Pennsylvania county and its vicinity. The article, titled “Police: Shot fired after golden shower incident at York hotel, 1 charged with prostitution,” is quite colorful. More colors than just golden-yellow. It’s colorful as in it is the type of lurid whimsy many internet users enjoy reading and joking in the comments about, especially the part where john had actually dropped his wallet in the parking lot and the prostitute had peed on him hadn’t stolen it. So he shot her car for no reason at all and will probably get hit with a felony.

It’s the second time in three days that a story about a boomer-aged degenerate reacting angrily after allegedly having one or more prostitutes urinating on him has appeared on national news sites.

Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy made a factual misstatement on Monday when he claimed that President Joe Biden did not make any mention that it was his birthday during the turkey pardoning ceremony, an assertion contradicted by Biden having said literally “it’s my birthday today” and then making a joke about turning 60 at approximately 75 seconds into his speech. The plainly honest mistake by Doocy in no way threatens the other sterling reputation of Fox and their commitment to factually accurate reporting which at no point has ever been broken or cost them $787 million in a settlement with a company that brought a defamation complaint against them.

The Commission on Presidential Debates set the date for its first Biden-Trump showdown (of 2024) on Monday, September 16th at Texas State University in San Marcos, the Texas Tribune reports.

A number of former Trump Administration officials who have since fallen out of favor since the end of his Reich told the Washington Post they aren’t really feeling the “conscience” thing when it comes to speaking out publicly on the dangers of returning the fat fuck to power next year.

“If it’s Biden versus Trump, the implicit assumption is, efforts to hurt Trump are going to benefit Biden. If you’re putting yourself against the Constitution, I think it’s disqualifying, but I wouldn’t want to be helping Biden,” said former Mike Pence Chief of Staff Marc Short.

An anonymous official, worried that his current lobbying or consulting or whatever clients might end up firing him said only “If I thought it would make a difference, I’d be more willing to do it. But you’re taking a lot of financial risks, and I haven’t seen any evidence it really matters.”

“You want to remind people at the last minute what kind of crazy they might be getting again. I don’t think it works until it’s September or October,” said another who at least appears to plan on talking about the crazy shit the Orange Slob said or did, but keeping the powder dry for now.

Sources told the Post that Mike Pence won’t be sticking his neck out against Trump, nor will Elaine “Coco” Chao or former Defense Secretary Jim Mattis. Other former Defense Secretary Mark Esper did not respond to calls for comment. Esper might be a “maybe” given the book he wrote though.