“Congressman, grateful that you’re here willing to stand up for the most American of all pleasures, which is tobacco, sorry to say it. It’s true.  It founded the country,” a sorry-not-sorry Hungarian tourism director Tucker Carlson proclaims, apparently referring to the Confederate States of America and ignoring the work of slaves.  The story is about the Republican House passing rules that allow for cigar smoking in Congressional offices because the GOP absolutely loves their old-fashioned stereotypes about lawmakers and smoke-filled rooms.  (It’s also led to accusations of lawmakers and staff cigar “hotboxing” people to make them sick enough to leave offices.)

Courtesy of a different Constitution, the Brazilian Supreme Court has announced it will open an investigation into the role rightwing sore loser Jair Bolsonaro played in inciting and organizing the attack on the nation’s government center in Brasilia January 8th, after the inauguration of President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, the New York Times reports.

Supeme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes approved the request of federal prosecutors to include the former president in the investigation because, Moraes wrote in his decision, Bolsonaro “may have contributed, in a very relevant way, to the occurrence of criminal and terrorist acts.”

First, they came for the school libraries, but I said nothing for I had a Kindle.  “I’ve instructed my staff to compile a list” are words that no elected official in the United States should say, given the shadow of McCarthyism imbued in any government “list.”  But that doesn’t stop Republican Oklahoma Superintendent of Schools Ryan Walters, drunk with new power, announcing from the driver’s seat that he’s going to purge books from school libraries and decertify two state teachers who dared give lessons about gender and race.  (I mean, outside of Tulsa and OKC, how many Oklahomans have seen a person of color in person?  So, such lessons seem appropriate.)

Visualize Donald Trump in a deposition with the lawyers for E. Jean Carrol, who accused him of raping her in a department store dressing room in the 1990s.  Blue suit, red tie, red-tinged-orange face.  Arms crossed.  Cheeks huffing.  “I will sue her after this is over, and that’s the thing I really look forward to doing. And I’ll sue you too,” he harumphs.

According to the Associated Press, Trump vehemently denied attacking Carroll, at times claiming he didn’t even know her.  He dismissed her in the sworn deposition for a defamation case Carroll brought, which was taken last October.  Trump called her a “nut job” and saying she made the claim to sell her “really crummy book.”

There are two defamation cases involving Carroll.  The first, filed when Trump was president for comments made while Trump was president, is being challenged on the grounds that Trump was acting in his official capacity as president when he defamed Carroll.  The second, for which this deposition was taken, resulted from comments made after Trump left office because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

This Congress, I will create the first ever Anti-Woke Caucus.

Read my @theammind op-ed about what Congress must do in the fight against wokeism👇https://t.co/jUC3WKGoqV

— Jim Banks (@RepJimBanks) January 13, 2023

Belarus could soon formally enter the war in Ukraine on Russia’s side if (when really) the Kremlin declares that Ukraine has “used force” against Russia and/or Belarus, and yeah really that’s the criteria according to the Daily Beast. “Any use of force by the Kyiv regime or a Ukrainian military invasion of either Belarus or Russia would be enough to trigger a collective response,” a Putin minion told state media on Friday. Russian troops have launched attacks on Ukraine from inside Belarus since the beginning of the war, but dictator Alexander Lukashenko’s regime did not otherwise directly support the invasion. It’s not clear what impact a Belarusian entry would have on the war other than just providing more poorly armed and trained targets for Ukrainian defenders.

Wisconsin Elections Commission member Bob Spindell, a fascist chode with a long history of involvement in MAGA scams including Kanye West’s failed attempt to get on the 2020 ballot as a spoiler for Trump, “advising” 2020 Green Party presidential candidate Howie Hawkins on how to get on the ballot in the state (also failed), and serving as a fake Trump elector in 2020, sent an email last week to Republicans in his Congressional district saying he was “proud” of lower turnout among Black and Latino voters in Milwaukee in the 2022 midterms relative to 2018 and 2020.

“In the City of Milwaukee, with the 4th Congressional District Republican Party working very closely with the RPW, RNC, Republican Assembly & Senate Campaign Committees, Statewide Campaigns and RPMC in the Black and Hispanic areas, we can be especially proud of the City of Milwaukee (80.2% Dem Vote) casting37,000 less votes than cast in the 2018 election with the major reduction happening in the overwhelming Black and Hispanic areas. Promoting the Republican ‘Cares’ Message; pointing out the many flaws of the Democrat Candidates; coupled with a Lack of Interest, persuaded many voters not to vote,” wrote Spindell in the email obtained by Urban Milwaukee.

It is my solemn obligation to invite the president to speak before a Joint Session of Congress on February 7th so that he may fulfill his duty under the Constitution to report on the state of the union. pic.twitter.com/YBmzLxs3Iz

— Kevin McCarthy (@SpeakerMcCarthy) January 13, 2023

A federal judge on Friday rejected disgraced former President Trump’s motion to dismiss both lawsuits from rape accuser EJ Carroll. Both lawsuits, the first being the 2019 defamation complaint over Trump calling Carroll a liar in response to her accusation and the second a 2022 complaint over the 1995 rape itself made possible under the a new law in New York State opening up a window for cases that would’ve otherwise been outside the statute of limitations, were upheld in the ruling.

GOP bill blocks Biden admin from banning gas stoves: ‘Regulation run amok’ https://t.co/IJlJH71EkQ

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 13, 2023

The superintendent of the Newport News, Virginia school district on Thursday told parents that at least one administrator was aware the six year-old patriot who wounded a teacher while standing his ground in a first grade classroom last week may have been armed, WAVY reports.

Superintendent Dr George Parker said the patriot’s backpack was searched about two hours prior to the shooting but no gun was located, demonstrating quick thinking on the part of the child to stow the weapon away from government intrusion. Parker did say if the child was fed up with being taught critical race theory or disgusted by other children who identify as cats relieving themselves in a litter box in the classroom, but those would appear to be the likeliest possible motives.

“A federal grand jury in Boise returned an indictment on Jan. 10, charging an Idaho man with a hate crime. The indictment alleges that on Oct. 12, 2022, Matthew Alan Lehigh, 31, attempted to cause bodily injury to two people in Boise by driving his car at them. This assault, the indictment alleges, was motivated by the actual and perceived sexual orientation of the victims.”

“Boise Police apprehended Lehigh, and the Ada County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office filed state charges against Lehigh. If convicted of the federal charges, Lehigh faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in federal prison,” says a Department of Justice press release.

Hands off our gas stoves. Just leave us alone.

— Nicole Malliotakis (@NMalliotakis) January 13, 2023

Here’s MAGA Staten Island Congresswoman Nicole Malliotakis riding the latest batshittery about gas stoves. Apparently some government bureaucrat said it might be time to consider a ban as the fossil fuel-heated ranges pose a health hazard (a health hazard beyond the obvious “sometimes they explode and kill people”) and all hell broke loose among the Fox News-brained assholes of America.

It’s an eerie echo of early 2021, back when the 2020 election’s dust had (relatively) cleared, the Biden Administration was getting settled in, and the MAGAverse needed new made-up outrages to fill time and space previously occupied by “evidence” that the presidency had been stolen from Trump. So they went on this utterly insane panic binge: Mr Potato Head becoming “genderless,” some old Dr Seuss books most people had never heard of being “canceled,” Disney+ adding a content warning to late-1970s “Muppet Show” episodes, critical race theory, and of course the closest analogue to this new “gas stoves” bullshit, the “Biden Burger Ban.”

There’s a distinct contrast with early 2022: Back then they were hyping outrages with potential electoral implications such as crime and inflation. The lead up to Russia’s attack on Ukraine and the earliest stages of the war itself certainly dominated a lot of coverage too (not that they didn’t make up disgraceful fake outrages associated with the war also). But by and large the rubber was meeting the road with the lead up to the midterms. Right wing news coverage was meant to keep their fan base geared toward voting against Democrats. Now we’re in another odd-numbered year it looks like it’s going to be “cancel culture” again, with a shit ton of stupid “controversies” with no real purpose other than to keep the fanboys in a state of perpetual anger and paranoia.

A Manhattan judge on Friday fined fat former President Trump’s corrupt business the maximum penalty of $1.6 million following its conviction on charges of tax fraud, the New York Times reports.

“HUR WE GO AGAIN”

– The current top comment on the Gateway Pundit article “Who Is Merrick Garland’s Special Counsel Robert Hur? …He Partnered with Chris Wray at DC Law Firm and Later Was Rod Rosenstein’s Top Lieutenant,” posted Thursday. Guess it was inevitable that whoever Garland picked to be the special counsel to investigate Biden’s classified docs fuckup would be “tainted” in the fanboys’ eyes.

They say it themselves. “This is proof that there are no DOJ attorneys who are not Democrat connected. NONE,” wrote another Gateway Pundit fan in the top reply to that top comment.

Napoleonic Florida Governor Ron DeSantis leads fat former President Trump 51 to 49 percent in a head-to-head matchup in the most recent UMass Amherst survey of Republican-identifying voters, but the same question finds Trump ahead 37 to 34 percent with the full field of future GOP 2024 nomination losers like Mike Pence, Nimrata Haley, Greg Abbott, and Mike Pompeo.

It’s probably the best showing for DeSantis against Trump in polling that includes the entire likely 2024 GOP field. While Ron has led in most head-to-head matchups in polls against the Orange God Emperor, he’s trailed pretty badly in full field versions of the question. This one finally puts it close for him, and a good position for a raucous fight starting this summer.

Yeah, I get it:  economics is boring.  It’s not our most popular fare.  Macroeconomics is hard.  Big numbers hurt head.  And it’s not like these stories dominate the themes of the comment threads.  (We know our audience.  Hell, we’re lucky you’ve read this far.)  So humor me:  As we enter a two-year period where we’re going to hear about “librul” Joe Biden and the free-spending, irresponsible Democrats want to spend us into economic catastrophe….

Well, inflation is down, job creation continues and today, the administration announced the federal deficit was slashed by 46% by Prez46 in one year.  (The Deep State trolls well:  46 by 46.  Yeah, we see you.)  Last year’s deficit was $1.4 trillion; the previous year’s was $2.6 trillion.  We all knew Trump and the GOP are bad for the economy, but… well, I’ll let the people from Pro Publica explain:

Trump had the third-biggest primary deficit growth, 5.2% of GDP, behind only George W. Bush (11.7%) and Abraham Lincoln (9.4%). Bush, of course, not only passed a big tax cut, as Trump has, but also launched two wars, which greatly inflated the defense budget. Lincoln had to pay for the Civil War. By contrast, Trump’s wars have been almost entirely of the political variety.

The leaders of the Proud Boys planned to use their members to violently stop Congress from certifying the 2020 election for Democrat Joe Biden, prosecutors said in the opening argument in the trial of the group’s leaders, the first time the Justice Department has acknowledged in court an organized pre-planned plot to attack the Capitol, the Washington Post reports.

In their 90-minute opening statement, prosecutors used the defendants’ own videos, photos and messages to layout the planning Enrique Tarrio, the group’s foreman chair, and the four other defendants undertook to make sure their members led others into the building.

Defense attorneys made a compelling argument, but not one that excuses their clients’ criminal actions.  “President Trump told these people that the election was stolen. … He’s the one who unleashed that mob at the Capitol on January 6th,” Tarrio’s attorney Sabino Jauregui said, adding that it would be an “injustice” to hold the defendants culpable but allowing Trump to carry on without being held accountable for his own actions.

Professor Laura Ingraham of the Rewritten History Department: “If only we had a president who cared more about what was good for the country and less about how to protect his family’s corrupt business interests.”  She’s only two years off on this stunning analysis which was stunningly absent from 2017 through January 20, 2021.

A move obviously done just to be a dick, a Republican Oklahoma state senator has introduced a resolution instructing the Department of Defense that it cannot train foreign soldiers in the state, his effort to stop Ukrainians from being trained on Patriot missile systems.

Natham Dahm, self-described as “Oklahoma’s most conservative state senator,” tweeted that he did not want Ukrainians training “on Oklahoma soil,” which is also American soil, defended by the US military.  “The last thing we need is them misfiring a missile into Oklahoma,” he added.

Citing an errant Ukrainian air defense missile that crashed in Poland two months ago, killing two civilians, Dahm demanded “THAT the Oklahoma Senate directs the Pentagon, Department of Defense, and federal government to reverse course on their attempt to send foreign troops to Oklahoma.”  Apparently, Dahm doesn’t just want to exclude just Ukrainians, but all foreigners because he’s also Oklahoma’s most xenophobic state senator.