A list of documents found in two boxes recovered from Donald Trump’s Florida crash pad and soup kitchen was accidentally temporarily released to the public thanks to an administrative error by the court, the Washington Post reports.

Although there were no clearly classified information in the lots–they contained sets of uninteresting documents related to pardon considerations, a lawsuit Trump filed, and draft legislation–there were a couple things that sprung out.

Trump took 35 pages of Presidential call logs, titled “The President’s Calls,” that include the names and phone numbers of people, as well as some notes that appear to be messages.  No dates or specifics are listed; one note read, “Message from Rudy.”

The MAGA-heavy Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals on Wednesday completely stuck it to those DACA kids, ruling that the Obama-era program that allows them work permits and protects them from deportation is unlawful, the Wall Street Journal reports. It was probably a smart move, because if they ever become citizens they’ll probably vote for Democrats for the rest of their lives.

The disgraced former president said a lot of stupid shit in his speech to some right wing Latino group in Miami on Wednesday. It was a tough call between this and his claim that the FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago was $5 billion in free publicity for the resort or that he almost didn’t want to dispute former aide Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony that he assaulted Secret Service agents on January 6th because it makes him “sound tough,” but we feel comfortable calling this one on what fanboy pollster John McLaughlin told him about his prospects in 2020 before the pandemic hit the most risible.

Ukrainian officials on Wednesday said their forces have continued to make gains in territories just earlier in the day that were officially annexed by Russia, the Kyiv Independent reports. “The de-occupation of Luhansk Oblast has begun,” wrote Luhansk Regional Military–Civil Administration Governor Serhiy Haidai on Telegram Wednesday, reporting that a further six villages in the Kremlin-claimed region had been recaptured. Keep in mind this isn’t territory lost by Kyiv earlier this year, but occupied by Russia since 2014, which should show how serious the Ukrainian momentum is.

It’s not clear who the President is speaking with here in Fort Myers, Florida following his joint appearance with tyrannical governor Ron DeSantis on relief efforts following Hurricane Ian, but the man is certainly grateful for the help from the federal government. It’s also not clear if Joe definitely said “No one fucks with a Biden,” he may have said something else. Our medium-crazy theory is this: That man is named David Biden, age 70, lives about 10 miles east of Fort Myers, according to public voter records (which also says he’s a registered Republican, funny enough). A Facebook profile of a David Biden resembling the man in the video is mostly locked but says his hometown is Tampa. We think that’s why Joe said “No one fucks with a Biden” – because that man is also a Biden.

UPDATE 10/5/2022 5:31 PM: Well shit. Turns out the man is Fort Myers Beach Mayor Ray Murphy.

Remember when the FBI said they didn’t send a tactical team to arrest Pastor Houck in front of his kids and hold his family at gunpoint?

Well, Chris Wray needs to explain why the agent at Houck’s door is wearing an HRT (FBI’s Tier 1 counter terror unit) cap. pic.twitter.com/9P5PELlPY4

— John Cardillo (@johncardillo) October 5, 2022

Meet John Cardillo.  Even though he has the vaunted “blue check” next to his name, you’ve likely never heard of the former Newsmax host and one-time NYPD officer.  There’s good reason for that, as you can imagine.  Cardillo claims that this security camera still photo–allegedly from Mark Houck’s Bucks County home–proves beyond a doubt that the FBI sent in its highly-trained Hostage Rescue Team to arrest the anti-choice activist charged with shoving a 72-year-old health clinic volunteer escort to the ground twice as the man helped clinic patients make their way through a phalanx of rabid fundamentalists. 

Republicans aren’t very smart.  They don’t exercise critical thinking skills.  And because of that, they wedge themselves into exceptionally ridiculous and embarrassing predicaments.  Take, for example, the case of Colorado Republican gubernatorial nominee Heidi Ganahl and her crusade against “furry” kids.

As some of you may be aware, some people get their kicks from wearing costumes of cartoon characters, mascots or animals.  In certain situations (usually sexual), they’ll claim they *are* that creature.  Hey, it’s their kink and good on them, so long as they’re not harming anyone.

Now, though, Republicans have got it into their one functioning brain cell that hordes of children are identifying as cats in schools–going so far as to require schools to put litter boxes in bathrooms– a situation Ganahl declares she will not tolerate even though schools throughout Colorado have explicitly stated they do not have any students making such demands, the Denver Post reports.

“As a candidate for governor, but more than anything as a parent, my concern is that distractions like children dressing up in costumes at school detract from the reality that 60% of our kids are not performing at grade level,” Ganahl, who sits on the board of regents for the University of Colorado, said. “It’s tragic that we are failing our children. We need to make them our priority.”.

Former Russian TV news journalist Marina Ovsyannikova, facing charges of sedition over her on-air protest of the murderous invasion of Ukraine in March, skipped out of house arrest ahead of a Wednesday court hearing and announced as much on Telegram, Axios reports.

“I consider myself completely innocent, and since our state refuses to comply with its own laws, starting from September 30, 2022, I refuse to comply with the measure of restraint established for me in the form of house arrest and release myself from it,” Ovsyannikova wrote, and in a video said “Put a tag like this on Putin,” showing an electronic monitoring bracelet on her ankle. “It is he who must be isolated from society not me, and he should be tried for the genocide of the people of Ukraine and for the fact that he destroys the male population of Russia en masse,” she said.

It’s not clear how easy it is for a high-profile fugitive like Ovsyannikova to escape Russia. Our guess is it’s pretty fucking hard given Putin’s deeply paranoid police state. Then again with a mass exodus of tens of thousands of military-age men avoiding conscription she might be able to slip out over the border and into a neighboring country unnoticed. We’re rooting for her either way.

In another blow to the Orange God Emperor’s attempt to slow down the criminal investigation into his theft of top secret documents from the White House the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals on Wednesday granted the Justice Department’s their motion for an expedited appeal of the Trump special master order from shitty federal Judge Aileen Cannon. Donald had opposed it for some made-up reason.

Local, state and federal law enforcement officials continue to monitor social media and other outlets as references to “civil war” among rightwingers continue to escalate in the weeks prior to the midterm elections, leading some to worry about potential violence if followers of Donald Trump do not prevail where his followers expect them to, the New York Times reports.

In the days after the FBI searched Trump’s Florida boarding house and geriatric hive Mar-a-Lago, references to “civil war” jumped 3,000%, peaking again after President Joe Biden’s address at Independence Hall in which the President noted the inherent threat the Trump cult poses to the United States and the Constitution.

Undeterred by facts and reality, Trump followers have used platforms like Facebook, Reddit, Telegram, Parler, Gab and Truth Social to push for a violent overthrow of the US government in the wake of disclosures that Trump faces additional criminal liability for stealing government documents.  While rational people see this as enforcement of existing laws against a careless and reckless former government official, MAGA cultists see it as persecution against their beloved demigod who, they claim, is only being investigated because he’s so powerful, pure and patriotic.

“The question is what does ‘civil war’ look like and what does it mean,” said Elizabeth Neumann, the former assistant secretary for counterterrorism at the Homeland Security Department under Mr. Trump who now tracks extremist chatter online. “I did not anticipate, nor did anyone else as far as I know, how rapidly the violence would escalate.”

Minnesota Republican Congressional candidate Tyler Kistner has claimed at various times he’s “put his enemy six feet under” and has “been on the wrong end of a loaded weapon” during his time in the US Marine Corps, but like fellow GOP scumbag JR Majewski it appears to be an embellishment at best, the Minnesota Reformer reports as Kister’s campaign has pulled ads implying he served in combat at the request of VoteVets. Kistner is aiming to take down incumbent Dem Congresswoman Angie Craig after losing to her in 2020. This time Kister has some help in the form of a Republican-backed fake legal weed party candidate – one who sank Craig’s first bid for the seat in 2016.

Pennsylvania 12th Congressional district Republican candidate Mike Doyle is capitalizing on name recognition in his bid to replace retiring 14-term Democratic Congressman Mike Doyle, not listing his party on campaign signs or on his website as he faces an uphill battle for the blue Pittsburgh-area district against Democrat newcomer Summer Lee, TribLive.com reports.

Republican Mike Doyle is also probably banking on near-face recognition too as, like Democrat Mike Doyle, he’s a jowly 60-to-70 something Irish American with short silvery white hair. The Republican Mike Doyle is a little pinker than the Democrat one though. The Democrat one looks like he could be a mutt with some Italian and/or Ukrainian parentage. The Cook Political Report lists Pennsylvania 12 as “Lean Democrat” rather than “Likely Democrat” in part due to the name confusion.

A federal judge on Tuesday ruled that the fuckups on the Durham Investigation team cannot mention the legendary Trump “pee tape” in the upcoming trial of Steele Dossier informant Igor Danchenko, NBC News reports. Dachenko stands accused of lying to the FBI (it’s what fanboys would call a “process crime” back when Robert Mueller was rounding up Trump minions) during an interview about the Steele Dossier, for which Dachenko is consider to have been the main source of.

The trial is all but certain to be the final throes of the failed Durham Investigation, which for years was hyped as an absolute cataclysm for the Deep State. Just earlier this year stained MAGA underoos were stretched to the breaking point after some bullshit Durham wrote in a court filing got twisted into “HILLARY AND OBAMA WERE DEFINITELY SPYING ON TRUMP EVEN WHILE HE WAS IN THE WHITE HOUSE,” only for Dem lawyer Mike Sussman to be acquitted of lying to the FBI in May. The case against Dachenko is reportedly similarly weak, but let’s see how it goes.

Faced with still soft numbers for Republicans in midterm races and the national generic ballot, the MAGA party’s allies in Russia and Saudi Arabia moved Wednesday to increase gas prices by with just over a month to go before election day, Bloomberg reports. The production cut of 2 million barrels a day seems drastic, but Bloomberg crunched the numbers and estimates that the net cut will be actually less than half that – 880,000 barrels per day – given that several countries in the cartel were already pumping well below their quotas. Then there’s that daily global oil consumption is estimated at 88 million barrels a day in 2022, so we’re looking at a grand total 1% supply cut.

Of course, it might not be a “woman” singular that Herschel paid to have an abortion.

Habing gone all in on “the 2020 election was stolen” before winning the New Hampshire Republican Senate primary on September 13th to “the election was not stolen” two days later, Don Bolduc is, for now at least, going with that he’s “not sure” if the election was stolen, the Associated Press reports.

“I can’t say that it was stolen or not. I don’t have enough information. But what I can say is that we have irregularity,” Bolduc said response to a voter’s question on Monday. Bolduc then told another voter he thinks the election was marred by fraud, but that he needed to acknowledge Joe Biden’s legitimacy to hold him accountable for blah blah blah. “We have to be able to say, whether we agree with it or not, a constitutional process was followed to put him in the White House so we can then hold him accountable,” said Bolduc. At no point in the conversation did Bolduc acknowledge the fact that people who believe elections are rigged are among those least likely to actually vote, so he should shut the fuck up about this if he wants any chance at winning.

Asked by MSNBC host Ayman Mohyeldin how a host of Republican candidates are either celebrity dilettantes or simply horrific people, the Democratic Cajun Yoda James Carville notes that stupid people nominate stupid people:  “Y’know, I’ve said it before.  They have a lot of stupid people who vote in their primaries.  They really, they really do.  I’m not, you’re not supposed to say that, but it’s, it’s an obvious fact.  You know when stupid people vote, you know who they nominate?  Other stupid people.   And they have, the Republicans have a problem.  They got very low-quality people that vote in their primaries and they produce predictably very low-quality candidates.  It’s evident right in front of ya.”

Nerdy sleuth Velma, one of the denizens of the Mystery Machine from the Scooby Doo franchise, will explicitly be portrayed as a lesbian who has a crush on a guest character in the upcoming Halloween feature “Trick or Treat Scooby Doo!”  It will surely cause heartache in Right Wing World, even though Velma has been a lesbian icon for decades.  Soon, however, conservatives will whine about the portrayal of a lesbian in a cartoon about a dog that talks to teenagers–albeit with a pretty severe speech impediment.

The newest aircraft carrier in the American fleet, the USS Gerald R. Ford, sailed out of Norfolk Tuesday afternoon on its first deployment, the first ship of a new class of carrier, CNN reports.

The Ford will join up with ships of the US fleet and go on a tour of the North Atlantic and the Mediterranean to join up with some ships from allied navies–a way of showing off the US Navy’s shiny new toy.

Two other Ford-class ships are currently under construction:  the USS Kennedy and the USS Enterprise.  The ships utilize an innovative electromagnetic aircraft launch system, which replaces the traditional steam-powered launch and catch systems with a hi-tech system.  While it failed to perform to spec in early testing, the Navy claims the EMALS has improved to meet requirements.

Extremist psychopath Supreme Court Clarence Thomas has given the Department of Justice until 5pm on Tuesday, October 11th to respond to the petition from disgraced former President Trump to lift the partial stay on the lower court order that had briefly blocked the federal criminal investigation into his theft of top secret documents from the White House, Axios reports.

As legal smart guy Steve Vladeck points out however, lifting the stay wouldn’t actually do anything because the petition seeks relief on some tiny narrow jurisdictional issue that we’re not even going to pretend to understand. “In short, Trump is asking [The Supreme Court] to vacate *part* of the Eleventh Circuit’s stay in the Mar-a-Lago case. In essence, he’s arguing that the 100+ classified documents at issue *should* be part of the pile before Judge Dearie, and that under the 11th Circuit’s stay, they’re not,” Vladeck wrote Tuesday, adding “Critically, he’s *not* arguing that the 11th Circuit was wrong to stay that part of Cannon’s order that *enjoined* DOJ from using those documents. So the relief he’s seeking wouldn’t stop DOJ from continuing to do whatever it’s doing; it would just *also* add to the Dearie mess,” which kind of makes it all sound like Trump’s just doing this simply to make it look like he’s “taking this to the Supreme Court,” but left it up to his lawyers to figure out what to actually write in the petition. This is what they came up with.