Citing communication among Republican state leaders discussing how the law will benefit GOP candidates and harm Democratic politicians, a federal judge struck down key portions of Florida’s SB80, a bill designed to suppress voter turnout.

Election lawyer Marc Elias tweeted the decision in which US District Judge Mark Walker, an Obama appointee, struck down key measures of the bill, saying they irreparably harmed the plaintiffs in the case by preventing them from legally registering to vote and making it unreasonably difficult to cast a ballot.

“The evidence bears that out. In Florida, White Floridians outpace Black Floridians in almost every socioeconomic metric. In Florida, since the end of the Civil War, politicians have attacked the political rights of Black citizens. In Florida, though we have come far, “’he realistic fact is that we still have a long, long way to go,'” Walker wrote in his decision.  “For the past 20 years, the majority in the Florida Legislature has attacked the voting rights of its Black constituents. They have done so not as, in the words of Dr. King, ‘vicious racists, with [the] governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification,’ but as part of a cynical effort to suppress turnout among their opponents’ supporters. That, the law does not permit.”

Energoatom, Ukraine’s nuclear power operator said Russian troops were seen leaving the Chernobyl site and headed back into the nearby border with Belarus on Thursday, the AP reports. It was unclear why the troops were leaving the site of the worst nuclear accident in world history. Other reports earlier Thursday said Russian soldiers staged in the area were suffering from “acute radiation sickness” after the dumbasses dug trenches in the contaminated dirt. It’s unknown if any of them also picked up any pieces of graphite for a cool souvenir from Soviet history.

Former Olympian and failed California gubernatorial candidate Caitlyn Jenner has signed an agreement to be a contributor on the Fox propaganda network, Deadline reports.

The signing will cause a dilemma for Fox hosts, who have preached for years that there are only two genders and people are destined to spend their lives in the gender assigned at birth:  will Fox refer to the transgender woman as “she/her” or as “he/him” as they demand their viewers do.

Fox News Media CEO Suzanne Scott said in a statement, “Caitlyn’s story is an inspiration to us all. She is a trailblazer in the LGBTQ+ community and her illustrious career spans a variety of fields that will be a tremendous asset for our audience.”

My decision is based upon her record of judicial activism, flawed sentencing methodology regarding child pornography cases, and a belief that Judge Jackson will not be deterred by the plain meaning of the law when it comes to liberal causes.

— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) March 31, 2022

Lindsey was one of only three Senate Republicans to vote to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson to the DC Circuit Court of Appeals last year, but apparently his mood changed since then. Might be some issues in his personal life, like a special someone moved on from a flirtation.

“After consultation with allies and partners, the President will announce the largest release of oil reserves in history, putting one million additional barrels on the market per day on average – every day – for the next six months. The scale of this release is unprecedented: the world has never had a release of oil reserves at this 1 million per day rate for this length of time. This record release will provide a historic amount of supply to serve as bridge until the end of the year when domestic production ramps up. The Department of Energy will use the revenue from the release to restock the Strategic Petroleum Reserve in future years. This will provide a signal of future demand and help encourage domestic production today, and will ensure the continued readiness of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to respond to future emergencies. President Biden is coordinating this action with allies and partners around the world, and other countries are expected to join in this action, bringing the total release to well over an average 1 million barrels per day” – White House press release on “President Biden’s Plan to Respond to Putin’s Price Hike at the Pump”.

Hunter’s laptop was real, and the mainstream media illegally interfered in our election. ⁰⁰Pass it on.

— Elise Stefanik (@EliseStefanik) March 31, 2022

Congresswoman Elise Stefanik, a woman possessing the shrill voice and perpetually acidic demeanor of an Applebee’s assistant manager but with even less charisma, claims “the mainstream media illegally interfered in our election” when they refused to take the Hunter Biden laptop bullshit seriously back in October 2020, without naming a single statute they violated.

Now, just throwing this out there, but maybe there are no statutes restricting a free press’s ability to pick and choose which subjects it covers and which ones it does not. There are a handful of laws restricting what they can cover, mostly for national security reasons, FCC content restrictions on broadcast radio and television, et cetera, but certainly nothing that tells them they have to cover something unquestioningly or otherwise it could be considered “election interference”.

Maybe what this really struggling to not call her a misogynistic slur that even most of our female readers would agree with should think about is her role in Trump’s first impeachment, in which the seeds of the failure of Trump’s “October Surprise” were planted. That Rudy Giuliani went to Ukraine seeking dirt on Hunter Biden that turned out to be grossly exaggerated at best trained the mainstream media to ignore more dirt when it really counted. Elise helped build that with her insufferable defense of her Orange God Emperor during the 2019 impeachment inquiry. Trump fans should be pissed at her (and other Republicans) more than anyone else for fucking up the laptop story before it even broke, regardless of whether or not there was any truth to it.

Vladimir Putin announced Thursday that Russia will no longer accept any foreign currency for purchases of its oil products in an attempt to buoy the failing ruble, Reuters reports.

“In order to purchase Russian natural gas, they must open ruble accounts in Russian banks. It is from these accounts that payments will be made for gas delivered starting from tomorrow,” Putin said in televised remarks.

Russia supplies about one-third of the petroleum products to European nations, meaning the buyers will have to convert Euros, pounds and dollars into rubles to make their purchases.  The US and other Western oil producers are increasing its output to cover shortages.

Wisconsin MAGA Karen and ivermectin superfan Karen Mueller is entering the primary race for state attorney general on a platform of promising to investigate six unnamed hospitals for refusing to prescribe the miracle horse paste to COVID-19 patients, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports.

Karen, who represented the Trump campaign in one of its many, many failed lawsuits to overturn the 2020 election in Wisconsin and also wrote a memo in favor of Republican state Assemblyman and gov candidate Timothy Ramthun’s batshit attempt to “decertify” the 2020 election in the state, refused to disclose to the Journal-Sentinel the names of the hospitals she wants to fuck up for trusting the science on ivermectin. Karen’s only current competition in the Republican primary for Wisconsin Attorney General is Fond du Lac County District Attorney Eric Toney after University of Wisconsin-Madison law professor Ryan Owens dropped out in October for committing thoughtcrimes against the MAGA Reich such as praising Dem Gov Tony Evers’ COVID-19 response.

The best part of Karen’s campaign promise to go after hospitals is that sort of thing is supposed to be a big no-no in MAGA world since, as Trump claims, New York Attorney General Leticia James is an evil racist for promising to investigate the Trump family while campaigning for the office in 2018 – and then doing exactly that when she was elected. It’s polticially biased or something.

A Kremlin spokesman on Thursday dismissed a US intel assessment which concluded that Russian dictator Vladimir Putin is being misled by his top advisers, AFP reports. “This shows that neither the Department of State nor the Pentagon have real information about what is happening in the Kremlin,” Putin’s spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters. “They don’t understand President Putin, they don’t understand the mechanism for taking decisions and they don’t understand the style of our work,” inside of their magical little castle with its funny onion-shaped domes.

American and British officials have been putting the word out that Putin’s goons were just telling him what he wanted to hear, with Britain’s GCHQ spy agency chief, Jeremy Fleming on Thursday saying “Putin’s advisers are afraid to tell him the truth”. US Secretary of State Antony Blinken told reporters on Wednesday “With regard to President Putin, look, what I can tell you is this, and I said this before, one of the Achilles’ heels of autocracies is that you don’t have people in those systems who speak truth to power or who have the ability to speak truth to power. And I think that is something that we’re seeing in Russia.”

Madison Cawthorn has said a lot of stupid shit over his short career in Congress, but it appears that his cocaine sex orgy story from last weekend was the final straw for fellow Republicans, as CNN reports Republican North Carolina Senator Thom Tillis is backing a primary challenge to Cawthorn from state Senator Chuck Edwards. “It comes down to focus on the district, producing results for the district, and in my opinion, Mr. Cawthorn hasn’t demonstrated much in the way of results over the last 18 months,” Tillis told CNN on Wednesday. Tillis isn’t alone in the “establishment” purge of an “America First” patriot, as North Carolina state Senate leader Phil Berger and state House speaker Tim Moore, are headlining a fundraiser for Edwards on Thursday.

The prosecutor trying the case against the Saudi Arabian agents charged with the 2018 murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi called for the trial to be halted and the suspects to be sent back to be tried in their home country instead on Thursday, a scumbag move coming as Turkey seeks to curry favor with the Kingdom and its ruler Mohammed Bonesaw, Reuters reports.

A 2021 US intel report concluded Crown Prince Bonesaw had ordered the murder of the Saudi citizen Khashoggi for writing mean things about him, but the court rejected the report’s admission to the case file. Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan, who in 2018 said the killing had been ordered “at the highest levels” of the Saudi government, now wants to let it go and move on apparently because it’s inconvenient to Turkish-Saudi relations.

A convoy of 45 Red Cross buses will head for the besieged Ukrainian port city of Mariupol on Friday, hoping to evacuate as many citizens as possible while bringing fresh supplies and food for those still trapped, the BBC reports. “We confirm the convoy is moving from Dnipro to Zapporizhzhia, and we desperately hope it can enter Mariupol tomorrow. For logistics and security reasons, we’ll be ready to lead the safe passage operation tomorrow, Friday, provided all the parties agree to the exact terms, including the route, the start time, and the duration. It’s desperately important that this operation takes place. The lives of tens of thousands of people in Mariupol depend on it,” said a spokesperson for the International Committee of the Red Cross.

The new ownership group at The Hill apparently had enough of being a cesspool of conservative trolls and their associated stench and removed all comments from the website.  In short:  there is no more disqus on TheHill.com.

“We’ve decided to remove comments from stories, as there are many other forums to participate in conversations about our reporting. (You can follow our editors and reporters and HillTV hosts on Twitter. You can also find The Hill on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and several YouTube channels.),” Bob Cusack and Jason Jedlinski, the Editor in Chief and General Manager, respectively, of The Hill wrote.

Prepare for an influx of trolls.

To combat rising fuel prices spiking because of war in Ukraine, President Joe Biden will order on Thursday the release of one million barrels of oil daily from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, the Washington Post reports.

The SPR holds a total of 570 million barrels of oil, so it can subsidize the amount of oil available on the market at this pace for more than a year, if necessary.  The amount to come from the SPR would amount to about 12% of the daily oil imports into the US.

A subpoena from the federal grand jury impaneled to investigate the Trump post-2020 election coup attempt viewed by the New York Times seeks info on members of Congress involved in “planning or execution of any rally or any attempt to obstruct, influence, impede or delay” the certification of Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 election, which – along with the earlier Wednesday report in the Washington Post – a pretty obvious sign that the Justice Department is leaking strategically to placate the libs wondering what the actual fuck is going on as far as any sort of accountability being wrought upon the MAGA Reich for its crimes against America.

The Deep State’s after Alex Jones, folks, let me tell ya.  They’re after him.  The black helicopters.  The Lizard People.  The Satanists.  And the courts–ohhhh, the Courts–are helping them.

Your man of the People, folks– of course, I’m talkin’ about Alex Jones–has now been found to be in contempt of court for failing to appear at a deposition to determine damages in the lost Sandy Hook defamation trial, and he will be fined $25,000 per day through the week.  And then on Friday, the penalty doubles to $50,000 per day until he complies, NBC News reports.

But don’t worry, folks, your faithful hero Alex Jones has taken a lot of Infowars Special HeMan Hairy Chest Supplement and Car Wax–available at a special monthly subscription rate of $39.96, and you get a free set of freeze-dried Armageddon Meals, if you order from the Infowars store today using the coupon code “SLEESTACK”–so those nasty pedophiles won’t get Alex Jones.

The Federal Election Commission has warned Ron Watkins, the creepy robotic weirdo former administrator of insane incel community website 8chan/8kun and the man who researchers believe to have written most of the messages attributed to the “Q” of QAnon fame, to get his shit in order after Watkins filed an amendment to correct a $20,626.15 discrepancy in his first quarterly report for his mindlessly stupid campaign for a House seat in Arizona’s second district.

“This notice requests information essential to full public disclosure of your federal election campaign finances. Failure to adequately respond by the response date noted above could result in an audit or enforcement action,” writes the FEC Senior Campaign Finance Analyst Robin Kelly to Watkins, adding “Commission Regulations require that a committee discloses the identification of all individuals who contribute in excess of $200 in an election cycle. (11 CFR § 104.3(a)(4)(i)) Identification for an individual is defined as the full name (initials for first or last name are not acceptable), complete mailing address, occupation, and name of employer. (11 CFR § 100.12) Your report discloses contributions from individuals for which the identification is not complete,” like a Best Buy manager carefully explaining to an entry level employee that he needs to wear his underwear on the inside of his pants or face further action and possible termination.