The Republican Jewish Coalition has endorsed Jennifer Strahan, a Republican running an all-but-certainly doomed primary campaign against space laser conspiracy theorizing white nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jewish Insider reports. “If you are a conservative Republican who cares about the issues facing America, if you are a Trump conservative in that district, you will get somebody in Jennifer Strahan who shares those views without all the baggage that comes with Marjorie Taylor Greene,” says RJC executive director Matt Brooks.

Though they already opposed Greene in her 2020 primary, the RJC does not normally oppose incumbents and had been expected to simply stay out of the 2022 primary in Georgia’s 14th district. However her insane bullshit – especially appearing at a conference with anti-semite Nick Fuentes – made it an easy call for the RJC. “Jennifer is a terrific candidate and she’s the strongest one running against Marjorie Taylor Greene,” said Brooks, adding Strahan is a “a true conservative who doesn’t traffic in antisemitic conspiracy theories, doesn’t speak to white nationalist organizations and doesn’t applaud and cheer on [Russian dictator Vladimir Putin].”

“They know they’re gonna lose and Nancy Pelosi is not going to go quietly,” Quintano Roo’s Republican Senator Ted Cruz says without a single spark that he’s actually describing himself and Republicans with every word.   “She is gonna scream.  She’s already preparing to scream the election was stolen and by the way what she means by stolen is people showed up to vote against Democrat. Tha-tha-that’s what stealing the election is and remember Democrats don’t believe in democracy.”

Just a reminder that a very lengthy Washington Post story described in detail Ted Cruz’s attempt to undermine the valid election of Joe Biden so he could disenfranchise more than 80 million voters who turned out to vote against Republicans.

Infowars owner and man powered by the high energy protein of sea algae used to make MegaHomeMixScamPOWda Alex Jones has made a settlement offer of $120,000 per plaintiff in the Connecticut lawsuit he lost last year, the Associated Press reports.

Jones was found guilty of defamation for repeatedly claiming the Sandy Hook school massacre, in which 20 first graders and six educators were shot dead by a teenager with a gun, was a hoax perpetrated by some conspiratorial group of Deep State crisis actors hired by the global cabal run by Jews.  Or lizard people.  Or aliens.  (And that is actually a 90% accurate representation of what Jones claimed.)

Jones offered each of the seven families and one security guard who won the defamation suit against him $120,000, meaning he would escape for less than one million dollars.

In one of the largest theft of crytocurrency on record, hackers made off with more than $600 million on the popular video game Axie Infinity in an attack uncovered Tuesday, the Washington Post reports.

The thieves broke into the underlying blockchain, Ronin, used by Axie Infinity and siphon funds from gamers’ accounts.  Sky Mavis, the company that runs both Axie Infinity and Ronin, said it only discovered the breach Tuesday.  The hackers made off with 174,000 ETH, the Ethereum bitcoin.

As the Washington Post writers explained (because I haven’t a clue how to interpret this):  “Axie Infinity uses a ‘play-to-earn’ system that combines finance and gaming, powered by NFTs, unique tokens that can be traced back to a user. Players buy creature-centric NFTs to gain entry into the game, and then spend more crypto to acquire and breed various beasts they can deploy in battles. The NFTs have both in-universe and real-world value, adding a kind of digital-money buzz to traditional gameplay.”

Two high level members of Donald Trump’s Department of Justice are cooperating with a DC Bar Association ethics investigation into Trump ally Jeffrey Clark that could lead to Clark’s disbarment, Reuters reports.

The revelation that Jeffrey Rosen, who served as acting attorney general, and Richard Donoghue, his former acting deputy, are cooperating with the District of Columbia Office of Disciplinary Counsel is a blow to Clark’s efforts to keep his career as he faces ethics charges.

Clark is suspected of undertaking “dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation” while practicing law, specifically in urging Rosen and Donoghue to send a legal notice to certain battleground states in the 2020 election which contained falsehoods and fraudulent legal statements. 

Truth Social, a product that was supposed to run train on Facebook and Twitter with its sheer awesome free speech-iness, managed a fucking pathetic 60,000 installs last week, TheWrap reports. “This is down 93% from its launch week, when it saw 872,000 installs during the week of Feb. 21′ We estimate that Truth Social has so far reached approximately 1.2 million installs since its launch,” said Stephanie Chan, mobile insights strategist at analytics firm Sensor Tower.

Traffic to the website has also cratered – down from 6 million visits the week of February 20th to 1.9 million this week, likely owing to the fact that it’s simply a landing page that links to the iOS app store download and not a portal to the platform itself. Even dumber is that there are URLs for Truth Social posts that do not function at all outside of the iOS app, because unlike Parler, GETTR, and Gab, there is no Truth Social on desktop. Seriously, this is a link to National Zero’s most recent post on Truth Social, it goes to a 404 error. “Creating your own social network is not an easy thing to do. You have to be significantly better and more interesting,” said SimilarWeb insights manager David Carr, adding “It did mirror the pattern we have seen before when Trump tried a couple of other things, [showing a] spike in interest and then going away quickly,” referring to Trump’s bullshit blog.

The thing about that blog was that Trump just had someone slap it together for him in like half a day, max. He didn’t get a Congressman to resign from office to become its CEO or raise hundreds of millions of dollars selling shares in an extremely shady IPO scheme to launch it. Other shit had to happen for him to make it happen and for him to simply abandon it really says a lot about the kind of businessman and person he is. It’s honestly a little shocking he would simply throw it away to die a lonely death, even with everything we’ve already long known about how much he sucks.

You’ll hear this claim from a number of Trump apologists, and now you’re hearing it from Trump himself: That the wife of the mayor of Moscow paid “The Bidens” $3.5 million for some unknown reason.

To be blunt, it’s all BS. The background:  Elena Baturina, a successful businesswoman and the widow of a former Moscow mayor, sent a $3.5 million payment to a management company called Rosemont Seneca Thornton in 2014. In 2004, a decade prior, Hunter Biden was the founding partner of an investment company named Rosemont Seneca Partners.

Disney exposed: leaked videos show officials pushing LGBT agenda, saying DeSantis wants to 'erase' gay kidshttps://t.co/7UUeG37qrr

— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 30, 2022

Madison Cawthorn’s sex and cocaine orgy stories, which already got him in super big trouble with Kevin McCarthy, now has another grownup on his case as House Freedom Caucasians Club chief Scott Perry wants to know who told Madison about those naughty things, Politico reports.

“I think it is important, if you’re going to say something like that, to name some names,” Mr Perry told Politico. But some of the other grownups said “No way Jose” to getting Madison to tattle on people because that would just give those Democrats reasons to call them names like “perverts”, “degenerates”, “sick fucking freaks”, “cokehead party sluts”, or worse, ask if they can get invited to the Republican grownup cocaine and sex orgies. That would ruin the adult fun.

In a not-so-rare self-own, Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) admits that the world continues to turn although he’s not involved:  “So, Biden’s been president what, 15 months? In that entire time, I haven’t spoken to him once.”

Astronomers have identified ice volcanoes on the unfairly-labeled dwarf planet Pluto, leading to the possibility of a subsurface ocean that could harbor life forms, the New York Times reports.

Scientists say that two mountains on Pluto’s surface, Wright Mons and Piccard Mons, show signs of ice flows around their bases.  Whereas the Earth have molten lava flowing out of volcanoes, ice can have a similar flow when ejected in supercold environs.  The flow patterns show Pluto was cryovolcanically active in the relative recent past.

The finding also indicates that Pluto has a hot, molten core because volcanoes need molten material to power an eruption.  It also gives hope that the ice formed after the eruption of water, which could be in liquid form under a surface crust.  Scientists believe that liquid water is one of the necessary ingredients for life, which could exist subsurface.

Dogs all over the nation will not know how to react as the seemingly daily package deliveries from Amazon in two cities won’t be made by humans dropping off boxes on the doorstep anymore, because the e-tailing monolith will test drone delivery, Business Insider reports.

Amazon wants to recruit 1,300 test customers in Lockeford, California, and College Station, Texas as the initial customers for Prime Air shipments delivered by drones.  The service will provide delivery within an hour of more than 3,000 items, all weighing under five pounds.

Amazon’s plan is to expand to more than five million drone deliveries each year from 145 “launchpads” around the country.  It’s currently running a small pilot program in Oregon and Northern California.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is sticking taxpayers with $45,000 in legal bills to fight multiple professional misconduct complaints against him in the state bar association over his failed attempt to overturn the 2020 election, the Houston Chronicle reports. “Everyone – including Gov. Abbott and Lt. Gov. Patrick – knows that this witch hunt is a sham. So I’m fighting back. And I’m authorized to do so by law: The acts that the bar and the liberal complainers are crying about were done in my official capacity as Texas Attorney General, and I may use state resources to defend my and my team’s state actions. Period,” said the husband of a really shitty country music artist in a statement.

President Joe Biden signed the Emmett Till Antilynching Act of 2022, finishing a century-long odyssey for a bill that made lynching a hate crime despite resistance from conservative corners, CNN reports.

“Lynching was pure terror to enforce the lie that not everyone … belongs in America, not everyone is created equal. Terror, to systematically undermine hard-fought civil rights,” President Joe Biden said at the Rose Garden signing ceremony.  “Terror, not just in the dark of the night but in broad daylight. Innocent men, women and children hung by nooses in trees, bodies burned and drowned and castrated.”

Named after a 14-year-old Black boy from Chicago who was brutally murdered and disfigured by a group of white men in Mississippi for allegedly whistling at a white woman in 1955, the bill passed after Republican Kentucky Senator Rand Paul withdrew his objections that the bill’s definition of “lynching” was too broad.

Former Trump White House mustache guy John Bolton told the Washington Post’s Robert Costa on Tuesday that Trump’s Monday night statement claiming “I have no idea what a burner phone is, to the best of my knowledge I have never even heard the term,” was false because Bolton specifically recalls Trump using the term in several conversations and that he knows full well the purpose of doing so was to avoid having any trail of evidence of phone calls.

Roman Hrybov, the author of the famous “Russian Warship, Go F*** Yourself” phrase, returned from Russian captivity to his native Cherkasy region. Glory to the Hero! #GlorytoUkraine pic.twitter.com/uruPgkBLGv

— Defense of Ukraine (@DefenceU) March 29, 2022

Former Georgia Senator David “Chickenshit” Perdue, who’s making his primary campaign against Gov Brian Kemp – which isn’t going well – all about MAGA “election integrity” – claimed on Tuesday that he thought last weekend’s Trump rally crowd was screaming “LOCK THEM UP” referring to the shadowy “them” who stole the Georgia election from Donald, himself, and Kelly “Attila” Loeffler, not “LOCK HIM UP” as in Kemp, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Patricia Murphy reports.

“I really thought they were saying lock them up,” said Perdue speaking to reporters Tuesday, adding that “the people responsible” for 2020 and 2021 “should be investigated and brought to justice… I misunderstood what they were saying. I’m holding the governor accountable. I’ll let whatever happens after that happen, but right now we’re looking forward,” which doesn’t really explain what the distinction or difference is supposed to be if Brian Kemp is responsible alone and should be locked up or if Brian Kemp and a bunch of other people are responsible and should be locked up for stealing Georgia from the Orange God Emperor and Moscow Mitch.

Said Florida’s angry, Napoleonic Governor in response to a question about Disney’s opposition to his twisted new “Don’t Say Gay” law: “I think [Disney] crossed a line. And you know, people ask me kind of about their posture on the bill. I said, ‘You know what? If we would’ve put in the bill that you are not allowed to have curriculum that discussed the oppression of the Uyghurs in China, Disney would’ve endorsed that in a second,’ and that’s the hypocrisy of this, and uh, we’re gonna make sure we’re fighting back when people are threatening our parent and threatening our kids.”

Wildlife officials in Texas confirmed notorious Flamingo #492 was spotted in the state, 17 years after it escaped Sedgwick County Zoo in Wichita, Kansas during a storm in June 2005, the Associated Press reports. Video shot by an environmental activist on March 10th near Port Lavaca, Texas clearly showed the flamboyant pink bird’s leg band bearing his number assigned by the zoo. The fabulous bird has been sighted previously as far away as Wisconsin over the years.

Dem has seen enough, leaves the party to join GOP!https://t.co/xYInAGSsIC

— George Papadopoulos (@GeorgePapa19) March 29, 2022

Looking at the picture you might think “Oh shit! Some Democrat in the House flipped to the GOP!” since the picture is of Nancy Pelosi. That’d be a reasonable assumption – exactly what they want. The turncoat Dem is not in the US House, however. Not a state House or Assembly. Not a state governor. Not even a city mayor. The newest elected Republican in the United States is a member of the county council in Dorchester County, South Carolina, population 136,555.

We’d like to hear from a Republican here – not a “RINO” – but an actual MAGA hat wearing Trump fan. Without equivocating, can you defend this shit? Like do you actually think this bait and switch is fine? We know Raw Story and Palmer Report are fucking garbage, we’re happy to admit it. But don’t you guys get tired of your media treating you like stupid assholes, ever?