On Tuesday dipshit MAGA Oklahoma Congressman Markwayne Mullin introduced a resolution to the House to “expunge” Trump’s first impeachment (presumably there will be a separate one to “expunge” the second one). “We cannot allow this behavior to go unanswered. And we are seeing in real time what being behind the eight ball actually looks like for US support to Ukraine. My resolution is about restoring credibility to the impeachment process and ensuring a political play like this never happens again,” Mullin told Fox News about the resolution.

It goes on and on with right wing bullshit packaged as “Whereas”, but probably the best part is how Mullin manages to directly contradict himself within a few pages, writing “Whereas, from the beginning, despite the rabid impeachment fervor led by House and Senate Democrats, media personalities, and the liberal elite class, both President Trump and President Zelensky maintained that there was no pressure, no quid pro quo, and no linkage between the $391,000,000, and the announcement of Ukrainian investigations… Whereas the $391,000,000 in Ukrainian military and security assistance was released without Ukraine announcing an investigation of any kind” and but then a few pages later saying “Whereas a key and widely-understood aspect of the Trump administration’s foreign policy platform was to scrutinize, and closely evaluate defense assistance programs to foreign nations; Whereas one of President Trump’s central campaign promises was to ensure that each country that receives defense assistance from the United States must first prove themselves worthy beneficiaries thereof;” without actually detailing how the Ukrainian government proved “themselves worthy beneficiaries” other than a half-assed “Whereas a United States President enjoys broad authority to direct the foreign policy of the United States, and pausing United States security assistance to Ukraine for further scrutiny and analysis, for 55 days, was not and is not presumptive or prima facie evidence of misconduct, or a ‘quid pro quo’ exchange, as characterized by congressional Democrats before, and throughout, the impeachment proceedings;”

Mullin wraps it up with “Whereas by so flippantly exercising one of the gravest and most consequential powers with which the House of Representatives is charged, Democrats have committed the sin about which the Founding Fathers of the United States warned, that being the use of presidential impeachment in a partisan fashion to settle political scores, and relitigate election results with which they disagree, in this case, the 2016 Presidential election of Donald Trump: Now, therefore, be it Resolved, That the December 18, 2019, impeachment of President Donald John Trump is expunged, as the facts and circumstances upon which the Articles of Impeachment were based did not meet the burden of proving the commission of ‘high Crimes and Misdemeanors’ as set forth in Section Four of Article II of the United States Constitution..”

“Former President Donald Trump is calling on Russian leader Vladimir Putin to release any information he possesses on Hunter Biden’s dealings with oligarchs in Eastern Europe,” writes known Russian propagandist John Solomon in an “EXCLUSIVE” article on his shitty website.

“In an interview with the Just the News television show on Real America’s Voice airing Tuesday,” Solomon continues, as if we haven’t known for years he’s an agent paid to propagate Russian disinformation and has come on the radar of the US Department of Justice for his efforts, “The former president cited a 2020 Senate report that disclosed Russian oligarch Yelena Baturina, then the wife of Moscow’s mayor, provided $3.5 million a decade ago to a company co-founded by President Joe Biden’s son and unanswered questions about why the money was given. ‘She gave him $3.5 million so now I would think Putin would know the answer to that. I think he should release it,’ Trump said in a wide-ranging interview at his Mar O Lago [sic] resort in Florida. ‘I think we should know that answer,'” writes Solomon, too fucking stupid to spell “Mar-a-Lago” correctly.

Despite continual media chatter about inflation, consumer confidence rose unexpectedly in March, signaling an understanding that the current economic pressure will be relieved in a short timeframe, Bloomberg reports.

With employment rising above pre-pandemic rates, unemployment low and wages rising, the consumer confidence index increased 107.2 from February’s downwardly revised 105.7, which was a 12-month low.  The measure was at 89.3 in January 2021.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is going to have to sit down with Congressman Madison Cawthorn and have an important sex talk with him after Madison told his friend some things about “orgies” that he doesn’t understand yet, Politico Congress correspondent Olivia Beavers reports.

See, sometimes Republican grownups have urges that are perfectly natural and normal, and it’s nothing to be scared or ashamed of, but these urges make them want to do some things in front of each other or even with each other while they put white powder up their noses that makes them feel energized. The things they do with other adults that satisfy these urges might seem “gross”, but they’re mostly a special thing that Republican adults share in private. Kevin isn’t mad at Madison, but he needs to understand that he made some people upset by talking about these things with his friend in that interview without asking Kevin or another grownup about them first.

The other Republican grownups were reportedly upset with Madison because it made them feel ashamed, because other people don’t understand how special and secret they are. If Madison can show Kevin he understands then everything will be okay and nobody will be upset, Kevin promises.

“Dear Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Thomas: We write regarding alarming new reports about Justice Thomas’s potential conflicts of interest in his role as a Supreme Court Justice – specifically with regards to the efforts of his wife, Ms. Virginia ‘Ginni’ Thomas, to overturn the results of the 2020 election – and the urgent need for significant ethics reform at the Supreme Court.”

“Last week, the Washington Post and CBS News published a disturbing set of stories detailing Ms. Thomas’s efforts to persuade then-White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows to ‘pursue unrelenting efforts to overturn the 2020 presidential election.’ The stories document 29 text messages between Thomas and Meadows starting immediately after Election Day 2020 and ending only days after the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol. In the messages, Ms. Thomas ‘spread false theories, commented on cable news segments and advocated with urgency and fervor that the president and his team take action to reverse the outcome of the election,’ calling for specific tactics such as the promotion of Sidney Powell – one of President Trump’s lawyers – and describing the election as ‘the greatest Heist of our History.’ Meadows responded with his shared ‘belief that the election was stolen’ and expressed his ‘solidarity of purpose and faith” and so on and so forth says a letter written by Senator Elizabeth Warren’s office and signed by her, Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal, Senators Richard Blumenthal, Corey Booker, Mazie Hirono, and more.

Clarence Thomas should resign.

If not, his failure to disclose income from right-wing organizations, recuse himself from matters involving his wife, and his vote to block the Jan 6th commission from key information must be investigated and could serve as grounds for impeachment.

— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) March 29, 2022

Talks between Ukrainian and Russian delegations in Istanbul on Tuesday are supposedly productive, the New York Times reports, quoting a Russian deputy defense official as saying their forces intend to, “by multiples, reduce military activity” around Kyiv and Chernihiv. The Russians also claimed a Putin-Zelensky meeting is close at hand, with Russia’s chief negotiator, Vladimir Medinsky telling reporters it would be set as soon as a draft peace agreement is inked.

Cheating piece of shit former Virginia Republican Congressman Scott Taylor, whose staff were caught trying to scam a third party spoiler candidate onto the ballot in 2018 before he lost to a Democrat (and lost again in 2020), was in Minsk last month looking for lobbying work for the brutal Kremlin satellite regime run by dictator Alexander Lukashenko until Russian troops staged in the southern part of the country stormed into Ukraine, Politico reports. Taylor and a partner Robert Stryk immediately fled Belarus by car, but aren’t giving up on making some sweet rubles.

“Whatever the people think of Lukashenko – the president there – we have no diplomat. We have no embassy staff. This is a country that is in a pivotal position in the middle of the biggest conflict in the world right now that could escalate into World War III,” says Taylor to Politico, talking like he’s trying to make peace between the US and Belarusian governments (Logan Act be damned) and not work the phones to get sanctions lifted on the fucking potash industry. Recently the Belarusian government granted asylum to fugitive Capitol rioter Evan Neumann, a move that really did wonders for the authoritarian country’s image among the American right wing.

White House records for the day of the Capitol insurrection obtained by the House January 6th Select Committee show a 7 hour and 37 minute gap in which Trump minions either completely erased or did not at all record any phone calls placed by the Orange Pharaoh during the most crucial parts of the day, the Washington Post reports. The 11:17 am to 6:54 pm gap in the White House switchboard call logs stands in contrast to public reporting on phone calls between the Donald and House Minority Cuck Kevin McCarthy, Vice Former Guy Mike Pence, and other allies.

The gap tracks with the Donald and his staff’s tendency to use burner phones for secrecy in communications, as well as the Fat Bastard himself to borrow staff members’ phones to place calls, though some calls placed by him did go through the White House switchboard, per the Post. “I have no idea what a burner phone is, to the best of my knowledge I have never even heard the term,” some Trump minion told the Post in a Monday night statement attributed to Trump himself. A spokesworm also said the Monday ruling by a federal judge concluding that Trump “more likely than not” engaged in a criminal conspiracy to overturn the 2020 election was “absurd and baseless.”

The Times of London reports on Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich’s rough time acting as envoy between Ukraine and Russian leadership. Having already been poisoned earlier this month during talks – even going blind for a few hours afterward – Abramovich returned to Moscow from another round in Kyiv with a handwritten note from Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. “Tell him I will thrash them,” was Putin’s immediate response to Abramovich.

Far right Nebraska state Senator Bruce Bostelman admits he knew he was lying when he complained about high school kids identifying as cats during a speech in the legislature, the AP reports. “They meow and they bark and they interact with their teachers in this fashion. And now schools are wanting to put litter boxes in the schools for these children to use. How is this sanitary?” said Bostelman on Monday during debate on a bill intended to help school children who have behavioral problems. “It was just something I felt that if this really was happening, we needed to address it and address it quickly,” Bostelman later said on Monday.

Recent news makes it clear:  to get to the bottom of the events surrounding the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on the Capitol, the House Select Committee tasked with investigating the attack will have to call two people who will make Republicans very, very uncomfortable:  Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz and lobbyist Ginni Thomas, the spouse of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

Having already received an invitation to an interview, Ginni Thomas is particularly fraught for the GOP.  Thomas is paid a lot of money by conservative think tanks to, allegedly, influence policy.  She was aggressive in trying to influence the White House Chief of Staff and others to reinstall Trump into office through any means possible, at one point telling Mark Meadows there are “no rules in war.”  (She’s wrong:  there are actually volumes of laws that apply to wars, and there are such things as “war crimes.”  But I digress.).  She’s also believed to have coordinated efforts with Trump’s legal team and other organizations.

Her husband, Clarence, was the sole vote on the Supreme Court to side with an absurd claim by Donald Trump that his claims of executive privilege are nearly universal so he could hide documents from the House Committee.  A potential subpoena for Ginni Thomas should automatically recuse Clarence Thomas from cases involving January 6th that rise to SCOTUS. 

Yep, you figured it out.  But if you play golf virtually daily for six straight years, aren’t the odds bound to favor you eventually?

After claiming Democrats are never slimed by the “guilt by association” brush, Republican Ohio Senate candidate JD Vance tries to clean up the slop that is his friend Marge, claiming her latest distasteful scandal is that “she appeared at a conference where someone said something bad.”

Well, yeah, at a conference run by white nationalists who said bad stuff at the conference and before the conference (which Marge and her klan could’ve checked on The InterWebs).  Those people said things like Black people should be shipped back to Africa, and whites are superior to all other races in all ways, and that Jews should die.  And the whole cheer for Vladimir Putin done minutes before she went out on stage was a pretty bad look, too, don’t ya think?

So basically, the Babylon Bee was suspended from Twitter for not agreeing that 2+2 = 5.@elonmusk, buy Twitter and fix this!

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) March 28, 2022

Seriously, folks, watch this speech by Democratic Maryland Congressman Jamie Raskin during the meeting of the House Select Committee on the January 6th attack.  Raskin powerfully states why the claims of Trump supporters Dan Scavino and Peter Navarro fall far short of their duties as sworn officers of the United States.

“We are fighting to defend the institutions & values of democracy at home against coup plotters & insurrectionists & we are supporting other democracies around the world under siege by autocrats … Vladimir Putin is not a genius, but a mass murderer.”

By a unanimous 9-0 vote, the House Select Committee investigation the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on Congress referred contempt of Congress charges to the Justice Department for Trump White House Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Scavino and Trump advisor Peter Navarro.

Scavino was the Director of Social Media in Trump’s 2020 campaign and simultaneously Deputy Chief of Staff for Communications in the White House.  Navarro was a Trump economic advisor who was an enthusiastic supporter of plans to overturn the 2020 election through any means possible.

From Instagram:  “Violence in all of its forms is poisonous and destructive. My behavior at last night’s Academy Awards was unacceptable and inexcusable. Jokes at my expense are part of the job, but a joke about Jada’s medical condition was too much for me to bear and I reacted emotionally.  I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chris. I was out of line and I was wrong. I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness.  I would also like to apologize to the Academy, the producers of the show, all the attendees and everyone watching around the world. I would like to apologize to the Williams Family and my King Richard Family. I deeply regret that my behavior has stained what has been an otherwise gorgeous journey for all of us. I am a work in progress.”

Mike Huckabee wants to indoctrinate your children into the MAGA cult, so he’s providing you with this packet of propaganda products FREE (but you’ve got to pay $3.00 shipping and handling so they get your credit card information), much like a crack dealer will give you your first rock so you come back for more…. because a month later, you’ll be billed $21.90to have more propaganda sent to your child.  And you’ll have another $6.49 billed to your credit card for a mind-numbing children’s MAGAzine.  (They’re not calling it that, but they really should.).   And every month after that, you’ll get those charges because Huckleberry will make it harder to cancel than the Columbia Record Club.

The “Patriotic Kids Gift Bundle” (which isn’t really a gift because you pay for it) includes “The Kids Guide to President Trump” and the latest issue of the brand-new EverBright Kids magazine, as well as super special digital content!  “The Kids Guide to President Trump is unbiased and will help your kids learn everything there is to know, from his election in 2016 and his greatest accomplishments as president,” because all propaganda is unbiased, right?

Meet Igor Girkin, but don’t blink!  The Russian military intelligence officer went on Russian state television and gave a grim assessment of Russia’s future in Ukraine, saying they will be bogged down because of military failures.