The National Archives have asked the Justice Department to open a criminal investigation into the fat Former Guy over his absconding of presidential records to Mar-a-Lago as well as his habit of tearing up papers subject to official record keeping, the Washington Post reports.

Missouri's crowded US Senate race: Snapshot of the Republican candidates https://t.co/OUaWb5HRnP

— Fox News (@FoxNews) February 9, 2022

Republican donors in Texas are pressuring their Orange Allah to rescind his endorsement of Governor Greg Abbott over his failures during the February 2021 winter storm, disastrous deployment of Texas National Guard troops to the Mexican border, and just that he generally sucks, CNBC reports. The donors acknowledge it is unlikely the fat stubborn bastard would walk back an endorsement, but are still hoping they can get him to take a look at backing either secessionist former Texas GOP Chairmaniac Allen West or equally extremist MAGA asshole anti-LGBT activist Don Huffines ahead of the crucial March 1st primary in the Lone Star State.

“[Kevin McCarthy] looks like a feckless, weak, tired man, who is doing the bidding of whatever Marjorie Taylor Greene thinks is going to raise her money that day. I’ve been clear about my thoughts on Kevin McCarthy… Even if he does somehow become speaker, he’s going to have to have a good cell phone plan because he will be calling Marjorie Taylor Greene every day asking her what he can and can’t do. I mean, my goodness, having the title of speaker but being subservient to a sophomore in Congress who’s crazy… Why would you even do that?” says RINO Congressman Adam Kinzinger in an interview with The Bulwark’s Charlie Sykes, via Political Wire.

Vice Former Guy Mike Pence decided to speak out and rebuke Trump after the Donald said the “Unselect Committee should be investigating why Nancy Pelosi did such a poor job of overseeing security and why Mike Pence did not send back the votes for recertification or approval,” in a statement on February 1st, sources tell CNN, in a report that also says Pence is feeling more emboldened from the positive feedback he got from mainstream media figures for doing the bare minimum that even Mitch McConnell regularly says. Pence, by all appearances, has the Orange Degenerate scared of what he could share what he knows and his experience on and around January 6th, 2021, given Donald’s uncharacteristic circumspection since Pence’s Friday speech.

When asked by a reporter Wednesday if he agrees with Moscow Mitch calling the Capitol riot a “violent insurrection,” brave, bold House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy said, “Yeah. I agree. Anyone who broke into this building, I mean, no one would disagree with that,” CNN’s Manu Raju reports.

Some asshole MAGA terrorist was upset over the Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Police Department’s aggressive push to get the ongoing anti-vax truck blockade cleared out of the city, so he called and told cops there was a bomb in their police station. The only problem was he was calling the Ottawa Police Department in Ottawa, Ohio. “He Googled the number and got the wrong Ottawa,” Ottawa, Ohio, United States of America Police Department Captain Brad Brubaker told CTV News.

“He gave the bomb information and we talked to him for a little while before he hung up.” The caller did not mask his number, which Brubaker traced to an unnamed 20-year-old man in Akron, Ohio. “He called again and said he’d been shot and gave an address in Ottawa, Canada. We told him he got the police office in Ottawa, Ohio and that we would forward the information to Canada and he said, ‘What? Oh, I haven’t been shot. I was just trying to waste their time.’ We then told him he called the bomb threat to us as well,” Brubaker said. CTV News did not provide additional details on the suspect, who has probably already been arrested by Ohio law enforcement.

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada Police Chief Peter Sloly, meanwhile, told CTV News on Monday his department has been getting plenty of correctly dialed bomb threats and prank calls from right wingers both foreign and domestic. “We have people phoning in false messages, swatting messages to our police operations centre for active explosive IED events, gun events, that are drawing our resources away,” Sloly said. “We now have an active investigation south of the border to identify that.” But libtards don’t back the blue or respect law and order.

Former Georgia Dem turned MAGA Governor candidate turned MAGA House candidate Vernon Jones has been gifted with the Orange God Emperor’s endorsement as was promised to him. As an added bonus, the Donald was kind enough to record an actual video message of the endorsement rather than the same lame written boilerplate he gives to pretty much every Republican he backs. Jones also endorsed Trump’s preferred Governor candidate, white collar criminal David Perdue.

The now famous last line of the Republican National Committee’s censure of Congresspeople Liz Cheney and Adam Kinziger originally said the two were participating in “a Democrat-led persecution of ordinary citizens engaged in nonviolent and legal political discourse,” but “nonviolent and legal” were replaced with “legitimate,” the New York Times reports – on day 5 of the self-inflicted shitshow Chairwoman Ronna Not-Romney McDaniel created for herself and her party.

i might be single this Valentine's day but at least i run Dunkin's Twitter

— Dunkin' (@dunkindonuts) February 9, 2022

The Electronic Registration Information Center (ERIC), a tool for states to securely share voter registration data between each other, as well as DMVs and the Social Security administration, has become a new boogeyman for MAGA conspiracy freaks who recently forced the Louisiana Secretary of State to withdraw from it just a week after a complete bullshit Gateway Pundit article claimed it was some leftist vote-stealing machinery, NPR reports.

“When Louisiana joined ERIC under my predecessor, we did so under the impression that it would enhance the accuracy of our voter rolls and strengthen Louisiana’s election integrity. After reading about these allegations and speaking with election attorneys and experts, I have determined that it may no longer be in Louisiana’s best interests to participate in this organization,” said Louisiana Secretary of State Kyle Ardoin in a press release. Neighboring Republican Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill, whose genitalia did not tuck in when confronted with “concerns” about ERIC, told NPR his office would not be withdrawing. “We have had a number of emails from some very ill-informed, uninformed or uneducated people,” said Merrill, adding “[ERIC] helps identify duplicate registrations. It helps identify dual participation in elections. That’s a concern [and] there’s no other way that any state in the union can do that independently of ERIC.” Merrill is not running for reelection in 2022, and several of the Republican candidates running in the primary to replace him have already signaled they would withdraw Alabama from ERIC if elected.

Worth noting that, without ERIC, the three MAGA assholes (plus a fourth one whose political preference is unknown) in The Villages, Florida who were arrested for double voting in the 2020 election would have gotten away with casting ballots in two different states. But “election integrity.”

A new poll by the Angus Reid Institute finds that 78% of Canadians view political strife in the United States as a major threat to national security, Reuters reports. 68% of Canadians also believe American democracy cannot survive another Trump presidency, and 47% said the United States is on its way to becoming an authoritarian state. “Canadians have generally looked to the United States and felt like, ‘Whatever is going on there, it’s not as bad in Canada,'” said Angus Reid president Shachi Kurl. “We like to think of ourselves as… a country of circumspection and compromise and friendliness, yet two in five people don’t feel that way anymore.”

Fox News viewership demolishes CNN, MSNBC combined for 25th weekhttps://t.co/83CrVTw3Tu

— Fox News (@FoxNews) February 9, 2022

The blockade by Canadian truckers in Ottawa to protest myriad conservative complaints has now spread to the US border and it’s directly impacting the American economy.  According to the Washington Post, scores of trucks blocked the lanes exiting Canada in solidarity with the protesters in Ottawa.

The bridge is the transit point for automotive factories in northern Michigan and around Windsor, Ontario on the Canadian side.  Without the flow of products and parts across the border on the bridge, the production schedules at factories on both sides of the border will be disrupted, potentially causing layoffs.

“We are aware of the issue and are managing the situation with our logistics providers to mitigate any potential problems. There are no production impacts to report at this time,” said Dan Flores, a GM spokesman.

Trump advisor (and Rock ’em Sock ’em Robot about to lose his head) Sean Hannity hints that he’s going to sue the New York Times for connecting him to coronavirus deaths.  “The New York Times falsely accused me–multiple times, actually–that I was responsible for coronavirus deaths, including for a man who died after taking a cruise in early March of 2020.  [Indecipherable] my lawyers have already sent the Times a preservation letter, they have never given a retraction.  They never issued an apology.  Me and my lawyers are watchin’ this case very closely.”

Five female skiers from four countries were disqualified from the mixed ski jump competition because judges ruled their ski outfits were too loose, which could give them an advantage while twisting and maneuvering in the air, USA Today reports.

The ski suits were designed by the international skiing governing body and they are designed to equalize the wind resistance each skier generates as s/he goes down the hill.  The governing group said that it gave skiers an opportunity to test run the ski suits before the competition.

 “We were looking forward to the second competition at the Olympics. [The International Ski Federation] destroyed that with this action – they destroyed women’s ski jumping,” one of the disqualified skiers, Katharina Althaus of Germany, said.  “Our names are now (out) there and we just pulled the crap card. That is how you destroy nations, development and the entire sport,”

Democratic New York Governor Kathy Hochul will announce the termination of the state’s mask mandate on Wednesday, becoming the latest Democratically-led state to loosen coronavirus pandemic restrictions, the New York Times reports.

The state regulation was scheduled to expire Thursday, so Hochul will essentially just let the existing rule expire without renewing it.  The decision comes as New York has seen a sharp drop-off in new coronavirus cases caused by the winter spike of the omicron variant.

Democratic leaders in California, Connecticut, Delaware, New Jersey and Oregon have all dropped their mask requirements in recent weeks as the spread of the omicron variant abated.  None of those states have ordered county or local governments to drop mask mandates, allowing them to keep or reinstate them if cases rise.

Texas Republican Congressman Trey Nehls wants to grab on to some of that crazy QAnon energy.  He told Hungarian Tourism Spokesman and frozen food heir Tucker Carlson that he was questioned by “secret agents” from the Capitol Police about scribbles on the white board in his office were he “develops” legislation.

The Capitol Police, for their part, say an officer entered the office on Saturday, November 20, 2021 after noticing the office door had been left open and no one was in the office.   The officer noticed what appeared to be a map of the Rayburn office building on the white board and the words “body armor.”  He reported what he saw to his superiors, leading to a session with Capitol Police investigators who really want to avoid another January 6th-type attack.

Iditarod racer Bridgett Watkins is lucky to be alive after a violent altercation with an irate animal rights activist interrupted a training run with her dogs, stomping on four of them, before Watkins emptied her pistol into the angry lone wolf eco-terrorist, and called a friend to come and finish the fucker off with a larger caliber gun, which took about an hour, Alaska News Source reports. It is unclear if the animal rights activist’s head will be mounted on a wall or if its antlers will be made into a chandelier for a ski lodge or a coat rack for a microbrewery’s tasting room.