Several Republican members’ offices earlier this year each received an American flag with an “optical illusion” Nazi Swastika embedded in it, NBC News reported Thursday in what might be one of the most limp dick damage control stories ever concocted by this utterly dysfunctional party.

Or maybe just this week. “One of the sources, whose office received a flag back in January, said it was initially difficult to see the flag’s swastika with the naked eye, calling it an ‘optical illusion.’ But once they discovered the swastika in the center of the flag, they threw it out, the source said,” NBC News writes in the second and third of the just five sentences in the entire 19-sentence-long article to relate to these spectral US-Nazi Germany mashup flags. The others mention that the flags’ provenance is still unclear and that the US Capitol Police and House Administration Committee are investigating. The rest is the context in which and the sole reason why this article was printed.

Give NBC’s reporter a pass here. Access journalism requires eating some bullshit from time to time in order to maintain working relationships with sources. Plus article itself draws no direct connection between the mysterious January flags and the swastika seen on the cubicle of Angelo Elia, one of Ohio Republican Congressman Dave Taylor’s staffers, during a web meeting earlier this week.

It mentions it prominently – in fact there’s more about that one than the “optical illusion” flags. The reporter played along with some half-assed effort to introduce doubt in the minds of people who do not want to believe their party is the one on display in those texts between Young GOP leaders.

Former Southern District of Florida US Attorney Alex Acosta told House Oversight Committee investigators he was too chickenshit to try to win at trial against Dersh and Ken Starr so he struck that cowardly 2008 plea deal with sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, the New York Post reports.

“Ultimately, the trial was a crapshoot, and we just wanted the guy to go to jail,” Acosta told the members of the committee, even though Epstein kind of didn’t really go to jail at all. “We put him in jail, he registered as a sex offender, and the victims had an opportunity to recover. And that was a win. Looking at all of this, the ultimate judgment was, ‘Do you roll the dice?’ and if he gets away with it, you’re sending a signal to the community that he can get away with it,” the pussy continued.

“A billionaire going to jail sends a strong signal to the community that this is not acceptable, that this is not right, that this cannot happen. His registering as a sex offender puts the world on notice, whether the world listened or not we can put to one side, but it puts the world on notice that he was an offender and a sexual offender,” Acosta continued and holy fuck, forget that he sent the opposite signal, but recall that Acosta served as Trump’s Labor Secretary and resigned in 2019 specifically because of new reporting on his Epstein failures after Dirty Jeff was indicted again.

The Clerk of the House of Representatives of Friday read Speaker Mike Johnson’s proclamation of “I hereby designate the period from Monday October 20, 2025 through Sunday October 26, 2025 as a district work period,” there by extending the vacation for his members another week.

The joke isn’t funny, but here goes with the punchline anyway: WSB-TV reports that the three white cops from the Clover, South Carolina Police Department – all in uniform – were given their meals for free at Christianity-themed fast food chicken chain Chick-fil-A’s Augusta, Georgia location but then the Black cop – wearing the same uniform as the white ones – was charged for his order.

Wait, there’s a punchier line: After Clover Police Sgt Tracey Reid wrote to Chick-fil-A to complain he was given two free meal vouchers as recompense. “We came in together, same uniform, stood in line, there was never a time we were not together while standing in line,” Reid told WSB of the incident that occurred last month while the four were in Augusta for an unspecified work function.

“He said he had to pay for his meal, and it infuriated me,” said Detective Thomas Barnette. “And I said, ‘You want me to go say something?’ He was like, ‘No, I don’t want you to cause a scene,’ but I could tell the way he looked; he just looked at his plate, he looked sad and humiliated and that made me really mad.” The gift cards and the response made it worse. “It said it was perceived that it was a racial incident, which I didn’t like, because it wasn’t perceived, it actually happened,” Reid said.

In a statement the franchisee said she regrets “the unintentional impact this incident had and sincerely apologize to our Guest. We were deeply concerned by this claim. It appears to have been an honest oversight across separate lines and registers. We are strongly committed to supporting our community’s first responders.” Man this joke sucks. Especially the part in the original response in which, per WSB, the owner wrote that “the person who processed the meal was a team leader who doesn’t normally work at the register, and the manager called the incident a mistake.”

A top Italian investigative journalist is very much not dead after a mistimed bomb placed by a mafia operative exploded about 20 minutes too late to kill or at least grievously maim him, Reuters reports.

Sigfrido Ranucci, host of state broadcaster RAI’s weekly “Report” show, has been under police protection for years because of his dogged persistence in covering the country’s underworld. The bomb, planted outside of his home about 20 km south of Rome damaged two cars in his driveway.

Or at least that’s what Ranucci told the cops. It’s possible he owes the mafia a shit ton of money on a racing bet from 1999 and then hastily slapped together some reporting to make it look like he was this fearless clarion of truth against the criminal scum. Maybe the mafia guys even kind of like the coverage but still want him dead over the €50,000 he bet on Taormina Triumph way back when.

Venting to Axios over Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson bitching out of answering questions about scumbag domestic abuser/stealth Muslim Florida MAGA Congressman Cory Mills, white nationalist Georgia Congresswoman Marjie Greene was, characteristically, less than sparing in her rage.

“They expelled George Santos, Mike Johnson did. He was Speaker and oversaw George Santos being expelled. Why isn’t he doing anything about Cory Mills?” Greene told Axios. “There’s clearly proof behind her accusations that a judge is issuing a restraining order. So I would say to Speaker Johnson, this is a serious matter, and it needs to be taken seriously,” she continued, aiming directly at Johnson telling reporters he’d prefer to “talk about something serious,” on Thursday when he was asked about the protective order a Florida judge slapped Mills with this week.

Mills had harassed his ex-Florida girlfriend, GOP delegate/beauty pageant queen Lindsey Langston, threatening her with revenge porn following her breakup prompted by Mills being credibly accused of assaulting his (reportedly)still-DC girlfriend, Iranians for Trump co-founder Sarah Raviani.

Worth noting is that Johnson was very much against expelling George Santos. Greene also voted no.

“Why Stairs Are A Threat To Humanity” pic.twitter.com/XBylxGwqnm

— Mike Lee (@BasedMikeLee) July 25, 2025

No decent person—any certainly no conservative person—should mock an 83-year-old’s fall

That was heartbreaking, and the thought of anyone finding it amusing is hard to fathom https://t.co/t8dp6A7frT

— Mike Lee (@BasedMikeLee) October 17, 2025

The woke Marxist pussies in the New York GOP will be voting Friday to disband the Empire State’s Young Republican chapter after Politico obtained and printed all of those racist, pro-Hitler, Holocaust-jokey texts in between the adults in the organization, Newsday reports

“Attorney General Ken Paxton is investigating the University of North Texas (‘UNT’) for still refusing to take disciplinary action against the radical students who celebrated the political assassination of national hero Charlie Kirk and who have threatened violent acts against students. Attorney General Paxton previously sent a letter to UNT regarding left-wing extremism and demanded answers from the university, but school leadership’s response so far has been abysmal and real action has been non-existent. As part of the investigation, Attorney General Paxton sent a follow-up letter to UNT President Harrison Keller demanding answers as to why UNT is refusing to hold bad actors accountable even as other universities and colleges have taken appropriate action in comparable circumstances,” writes Picasso-face’s office in another insufferably histrionic press release.

“‘In the face of left-wing terror being celebrated and the threatening of students, UNT leadership has chosen to do next to nothing. That’s outrageous,’ said Attorney General Paxton. ‘Thus far, there has been zero school officials fired, zero students expelled, and zero accountability from UNT as the campus is overrun by left-wing extremists violently threatening anyone who disagrees with them. I will continue to investigate this matter and use the full weight of this office to stop this madness.'”

“Following the martyrdom of Charlie Kirk, self-identified ‘militant’ student groups on UNT’s campus have increasingly used violent rhetoric against other students and conservatives. Marxists and Antifa-aligned organizations have been spreading their materials and their violent messages all across the university, according to media reports. Video footage posted to social media by Representative Andy Hopper also showed a radical student approaching a Turning Point USA table and shredding the group’s materials. Similar to the school’s response to other forms of left-wing extremism from students, UNT has chosen to do nothing in ­the face of these incidents.”

In conclusion, Ken Paxton is the word accidentally depicted on a now-discontinued UNT coffee mug.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Dan Meuser and the rest of the weenies in his wreck of a party got their talking points from the RNC about the October 18th No Kings protests at least a week or two ago. The RNC talking points scripting room had to have, within hours, or at most a few days, of the lib activist coalition publicly announcing it, that exact date. So instead of using however much lead time they had, lead time that could’ve been used to organize their own “AMERICA FIRST MAGA PATRIOT” counter-rally, they just dicked around aimlessly until somebody in the GOP noticed the chatter and said “Oh shit, this might be kind of big,” then slapped together moronic canned lines about it being terrorism and Antifa and blah blah blah. Canned lines Meuser forgot to use.

Former Trump White House National Security Advisor John Bolton on Friday walked into a federal courthouse on his own recognizance to surrender on however many goddamned felonies the regime hit him with, uncuffed and unescorted by federal law enforcement, the New York Post reports.

Convicted felon President Trump’s $15 billion lawsuit against the New York Times, unceremoniously tossed from a Florida federal court last month for the complaint being “improper and impermissible” because of its 85 pages of ballsucking praise for the Holy Orange God Emperor, has been officially refiled and trimmed down to 40 pages, and appears to be lighter on the glory and greatness.

But lighter does not mean completely devoid of it as the intro still ends with allegations that that two Times articles from last year plus a book by one of their reporters “wrongly defame and disparage President Trump’s hard-earned professional reputation, which he painstakingly built for decades as a private citizen before becoming President of the United States, including as a successful businessman and as star of the most successful reality television show of all-time – The Apprentice.”

It’s also really putting the complain in complaint, citing passages like one from an October 2024 article describing the shitty reality show’s producers’ first visit to the Trump Tower in 2003 – “Mr Trump’s own desk bore no evidence of work, no computer screens or piles of contracts and blueprints, just a blanket of news articles focused on one subject: himself” – as defamatory.

As though the Times would want to make that up and further degrade their educated readership’s mental health by reinforcing their perception of the president as a petty mental child.

Sources tell Punchbowl News that at least 20 to 30 percent of House Republicans would vote yes on extending the Obamacare tax credits that Democrats have used as their main reason for forcing a government shutdown, buuuuuuut… Mike Johnson and leadership refuse to hold that vote.

Even though, pretty obviously, their conference knows that jacking up health insurance rates on millions of Americans going into a midterm year is fucking suicidal. Klan admirer Steve Scalise’s new line on that is “the tax credits were created to be temporary by the Democrats. It was the Democrats who set them up to expire, right? They never wanted them to be permanent,” as though people whose premiums are about to increase dramatically are going to be “reasonable” enough to get that.

“A ‘Blue Slip’ means that if you’re a Republican President, and there happens to be just one Democrat Senator in a state where you are appointing a US Attorney or District Court Judge, you will never be successful in getting a Republican confirmed. In other words, ‘Blue Slips’ are a disaster, and I have eight GREAT Republican US Attorney Candidates who will not be able to fulfill their service to the people of a state that voted overwhelmingly for me. The only one I can appoint is a Democrat, and that’s not the deal. Nobody can say that is fair or, even, Constitutional,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday. It’s almost like he doesn’t understand the concept of compromise.

And – shocker – Donald’s also full of shit. “I have eight GREAT Republican US Attorney Candidates” in states that “voted overwhelmingly for me” is just false, even when you discount the “GREAT” as really like maybe two nominees could fit that criteria, which is why he didn’t bother naming them.

“Governor Greg Abbott today directed the Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) and Texas National Guard to deploy personnel and tactical assets to Austin ahead of a planned antifa-linked demonstration to protect Texans and their property. ‘Violence and destruction will never be tolerated in Texas,’ said Governor Abbott. ‘Today, I directed the Texas Department of Public Safety and Texas National Guard to deploy all necessary law enforcement officials and resources to ensure the safety of Austin residents. Texas will deter criminal mischief and work with local law enforcement to arrest anyone engaging in acts of violence or damaging property.'”

“At the direction of Governor Abbott, DPS law enforcement personnel, including state troopers, Special Agents, and Texas Rangers, along with Texas National Guard soldiers, will be surged to the Austin area to maintain law and order. This is in addition to the thousands of DPS troopers already stationed throughout the state. These law enforcement officers and soldiers will be supported by aircraft and other tactical assets. DPS’ Homeland Security Division is actively monitoring the planned protest in Austin, as well as any other potential violent demonstrations across the state. DPS will investigate any links to known terrorist organizations and swiftly bring charges against those who engage in unlawful activity,” says the Texas governor’s office in a statement.

Don’t let the blank placeholder image fool you, the embed actually actually works.

Sidney Reid, the DC woman who Judge Box-o-Wine’s team charged with a misdemeanor after they three times failed to get a grand jury to indict her on felony assault charges for allegedly kneeing an ICE shitbag during a confrontation in August, was acquitted of the misdemeanor charge on Thursday too, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports on another big L for the mentally ill old booze bag.