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Robert Rivernider Jr, The Villages, Florida Trump fanboy who was caught forging his recently departed father Robert Rivernider Sr’s ballot for the disgraced former president in October 2020, mailing it in days after the old man died of COVID-19, a deadly virus whose spread was the only reason Rivernider Jr wasn’t still in federal prison at the time as he had been released seven years into his 12 year sentence on a real estate scam for which he had still owed his victims $20 million in restitution and thus was ineligible to vote in Florida, was convicted Monday of felony counts of forgery to alter public records, fraud in connection with casting a vote, and pass counterfeit instrument, for which he faces at least a few years in the clink, ClickOrlando.com reports.

That run-on sentence could’ve been longer as there are a few more details we left out: Rivernider Jr had claimed after his arrest that the Sumpter County Elections Office director and sheriff were the tips on the spear of a pro-DeSantis conspiracy against vocal Trump supporters, which is hilarious because Sheriff Bill Farmer actually did endorse DeSantis just days after Rivernider Jr was arrested for the fraud three years after the election. Those two sets of facts can coexist quite easily.

Then there’s Rivernider Jr’s defense counsel: Famous assclown former Florida State Representative Anthony Sabatini, a notoriously demented Trump fanboy and failed 2022 FL-7th District GOP primary Congressional candidate. This year Sabatini set up shop in Florida’s 11th District to mount a challenge to GOP incumbent Dan Webster – who in 2022 easily fended off a similarly brash young MAGA carpetbagger in far right ghoul Laura Loomer. On Monday, the same day Sabatini’s client went down for three felonies Webster tweeted he was “thrilled to have approval of @realDonaldTrump! We need President Trump back in the White House to Make America Great Again!” which we guess means Trump had officially endorsed him over Crazy Tony. So Sabatini had a pretty rough Monday.

Hearing aid-wearing The Villages, Florida resident Alfred Stern Himmelright, will likely escape prosecution after an arguably self-defense-induced domestic battery charge from an August incident in which an unidentified “ladyfriend” of Himmelright’s became enraged after the 71 year-old man turned off his hearing aid to effective mute her ranting, the Villages-News.com reports.

The “ladyfriend” then took off Himmelright’s shoes and threw both at him while screaming something else that Himmelright did not hear, prompting him to throw them back angrily, hitting her in the head. A judge last week permitted Himmelright was to enter into a pretrial intervention contract in which must complete a batterer’s intervention program, pay court costs and may only have phone contact with the woman for a 12-month period to have the charge dismissed.

The Villages, Florida man John Witkowski has stolen his last custom made sub from the deli counter at the Publix at La Plaza Grande, or indeed entered the supermarket whatsoever without violating a court order as judge has sentenced the 46 year-old New York native to a permanent ban from the premises and to pay restitution and court costs for his shoplifting spree, Villages-News.com reports.

Witkowski was accused of having entered the store at least three times in late July and early August and exiting without paying for custom subs – with the last one ending with his arrest as he attempted to make off with three sandwiches valued at a total of $31.77, per the Lady Lake Police.

Former Florida state House member Anthony Sabatini, a fucking far-right nutcase whose name was well known to longtime National Zero readers until he lost a 2022 primary to now-7th District MAGA Congressman Cory Mills, has been retained as defense counsel by a Villages-area man facing charges of forgery and voter fraud for having signed his then-recently-deceased father’s name on a mail-in ballot for fat former President Trump in October 2020, Villages-News.com reports.

Former Florida State Representative Anthony Sabatini and Trump-loving accused 2020 ballot forger Robert Rivernider Jr.

Robert Rivernider Jr, who Villages-News describes as having “served as a Villagers for Trump board member,” was himself ineligible to vote for the Orange Allah in the 2020 election due to his 2013 federal felony conviction in a $20 million real estate scam, for which he was sentenced to 12 years in prison. Rivernider Jr was released seven years into the bid in mid-2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic and moved in with his father in The Villages, only for the old man to fall victim to the virus on October 19, 2020. The Sumter County elections office smelled a rat when the signature on a ballot for Robert Rivernider Sr didn’t match the one on his registration and was signed and dated October 16 but postmarked October 23, 2020, so they set it aside for review. Eventually they determined the ballot had likely actually been signed by Rivernider Jr, banned by the DeSantis Regime from voting until he pays restitution to the victims of the decade-old real estate fraud rap.

“I can’t be the only Village resident who reads Village-News.com on a daily basis and notices the arrest information. To start with one would think having your mug shot complete with address (including Village) would be enough of a deterrent not to ‘do the crime.’ Given the amount of mugshots that are published, that obviously doesn’t work. Then I became aware of exactly who was being arrested and for what reason… Next group who appear to be a huge (and growing) problem are the adult ‘kids’ who return to the nest to live off their retired parents.”

“I feel terrible for the parents who now have to deal with the embarrassment and stress of these failures to grow up and take responsibility. You have earned the right to a peaceful life. In the interest of a more cohesive village, may I suggest the following? Drink at home, stay off your golf cart and if you ignore the drink at home suggestion try and clean up before the mugshot. If you have a grown child with a felony push them out of the nest. Time to grow up,” writes The Villages, Florida resident Cheryl McCormick in a letter to the editors of Villages-News.com.

Right here is where we would link a letter to the editors of Playboy from a guy who swears he only reads the articles. In all seriousness however, Villages-News.com has been nothing short of an excellent upstream resource for us when we need comically dark filler material of an ostensibly apolitical nature. As such, Cheryl should not feel so obviously guilty for enjoying reading of the social and cultural decay of the sunwashed golf cart maze she calls home for what years remain, especially not to the point where she has to write a goddamned letter washing her hands of it.

A registered Republican resident of The Villages, Florida was sentenced to 12 hours of anger management counseling over his January 2022 arrest for punching an elderly woman in the face during a road rage incident in the crime-riddled senior living complex, Villages-News.com reports.

Ronald Palumberi, 63, originally from the very MAGA eastern Long Island town of Wading River, had been arrested and booked on felony charge of battery on a person over the age of 65 after he cut a woman off in traffic, began brake-checking her, and then got out and slapped her in the face. When the woman tried to flee on foot from the almost certainly a Trump fan Palumberi, he punched her in the face and knocked her down to the curb. She was hospitalized after the assault, but Palumberi’s lawyer last week was able to negotiate a deal for the anger management. The judge did however require Palumberi to take the course in person instead of online, Villages-News notes.

The search for a The Villages, Florida-area registered Republican voter ended happily when she was found safe and sound, smoking a cigarette outside of a Wawa convenience store late Thursday, Villages-News.com reports. Staff at the UF Health-The Villages Hospital had become concerned for 57 year-old Margaret Mary Maitski after she had become combative with them as she was being discharged following treatment for an unspecified issue and stormed off in a stolen ambulance.

When Sumter County sheriff’s deputies located the stolen ambulance at a nearby Wawa convenience store, they were relieved to also find Maitski sitting on an outdoor picnic table smoking a cigarette with other folks. Upon informing her that she was under arrest for motor vehicle theft, she became “verbally abusive and shouting vulgarities” while resisting cops’ efforts to detain her.

The deputy who drove Maitski to Sumpter County Detention Center noted that the suspect said “several explicit sexual remarks, racial remarks and stated several times she is going to find me and kill me,” during the ride. Maitski faces charges of theft of a motor vehicle, battery on a law enforcement officer, intimidation, and resisting arrest. She was booked on $13,000 bond.

The family-friendly image of The Villages retirement community in Florida was again badly tarnished on Easter Sunday when Robbie Audette, a registered Republican sales representative for Properties of The Villages, was arrested for allegedly throwing a box of buffalo wings at his wife after she angrily confronted him with accusations of infidelity, Villages-News.com reports.

The couple had just returned home from a party when Mrs Audette began berating Robbie as she suspected he was intent on going back out to meet up with his “lover.” Robbie admitted to receiving a text message from another woman, but claimed it was to ask him to tell his “jealous” wife to stop texting the other woman accusing her of homewrecking. Mrs Audette grabbed Robbie’s phone, causing him to throw the box of buffalo wings. Mrs Audette then locked herself in a closet, with Robbie banging on the door screaming profanities at her and threatening physical harm.

Robbie pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor assault earlier this week. It’s not clear if he’s still employed by The Villages’ corporate overlords. We’re also curious about whether the alleged infidelity actually occurred and the wife’s suspicions were justified. There’s no excuse for the domestic assault and menacing as described in the arrest report, we’re simply unsure of whether they’re both assholes and Robbie was lashing out at a paranoid, jealous psychopath who was humiliating him by harassing a platonic female acquaintance of his or if Mrs Audette was 100 percent right to rip into an abusive, adulterous scumbag husband. The Sumter County Sheriff’s Office arrest reports that the Villages-News sources from are usually pretty good about filling in those details.

A 30 year-old The Villages, Florida man arrested Thursday morning at a Walmart after walking past a woman with “his erect penis out of the zipper of his pants,” told sheriff’s deputies he had merely forgotten to zip up his pants after using the restroom in the store, Villages-News.com reports.

Aaron Campbell, of the Village of Lady Lake, was arrested at the store and charged with exposure of sexual organs. The responding deputy noted that Campbell’s pants were still “halfway unzipped” when he was stopped for questioning after store staff identified him as the weenie wagger.

A 52 year-old resident of The Villages, Florida was arrested Thursday after drunkenly pissing herself and pulling her husband’s pants down during a struggle with cops, Villages-News.com reports.

The saga began when the Village of Lady Lake Police Department responded to a report that registered Republican Kerry Ann Graber was passed out drunk on a sidewalk at Spanish Springs Town Square. By the time cops arrived, Graber had managed to drag herself up to a nearby bench, on which officers observed her jeans were “saturated” and Graber indicated she had pissed herself.

Graber’s husband then arrived at the scene to pick her up, and she then began screaming and cursing at the officers as she was being led away to the vehicle. She then jumped out and continued the tirade, upon which cops decided to place her under arrest for disorderly conduct. Graber struggled and then somehow pulled her husband’s pant down during the melee. She was booked at the Lake County Jail on $1,500 bond. It’s not clear if they gave her clean pants and underwear.

Cops in The Villages, Florida on Sunday arrested registered Republican Jacob Donald Giaccio on a charge of battery following an altercation with his ex-wife, who he still lives with for some fucking reason, in which Giaccio tried and failed to make it look like the ex was the aggressor by smashing himself on the head with a plate after she dialed 911, Villages-News.com reports.

But wait, there’s more (!) “family values party” voting Villager domestic disturbance news. Villages-News.com also reports 70 year-old registered Republican Gretchen Mitchell was arrested not once, but twice last weekend. The first came after police responded Friday night to a report of Mitchell smacking her male companion and whipping him with an electric cord. She bailed herself out of the clink at 1:00 PM on Saturday – her 70th birthday – and then arrested again approximately 20 minutes later when the victim called police. Mitchell was released from jail for the second time on Tuesday.

One of the four The Villages, Florida residents caught voting in more than one state in the 2020 election has cut a pre-trial intervention deal with a Sumpter County court that will see him serve no jail time, let him buy his way out of 50 hours of community service at the rate of $10 an hour, and not even be stuck with a conviction on his record, Villages-News.com reports.

John Rider, 61, of both New York and The Villages, was arrested on December 3rd, 2021 as he stepped off a cruise ship in Cape Canaveral on a felony charge of casting more than one ballot in an election. Though he was a registered independent at the time, media outlets were able to find pro-Trump posts on his Facebook profile. Rider one of four Villagers caught voting twice in different states in the 2020 election (thanks to ERIC, the interstate voter record exchange system that Alabama withdrew from this month because MAGA). Three of the four were confirmed to be Trump fans, with the other’s affinity unknown. Two remain to be adjudicated, while Joan Halstead, the first of the four to be arrested, ended up being sentenced to take a civics class.

Sumpter County, Florida Sheriff’s Deputies on Tuesday paid a visit to The Villages home of Trump golf cart parade power couple Mary and William Jaursch to investigate a domestic disturbance for the second time this year, just a week after Mary completed her court-ordered anger management course to dismiss her battery charge from a September 2022 incident, Villages-News.com reports.

Mary and William Jaursch keeping up appearances during the infamous June 2020 “White Power” Trump golf cart parade.

This time however it was William, 81, who found himself charged with battery, allegedly grabbing Mary, 79, by the hair and slapping her in the altercation, per an arrest report. In the September 11th attack, Mary drunkenly threw a shoe at William and then struck him with her feet and fists. Another incident in 2011 saw similarly intemperance-fueled Mary-on-William violence, wrought by William cutting Mary off after she had consumed “two and a half alcoholic drinks.”

Villages, Florida woman Ievgeniia Pinchuk, 21, was arrested at approximately 10:00 pm Tuesday for driving under the influence after she left her 2003 Honda Civic parked in the railroad crossing on Main Street in the nearby town of Bushnell, which promptly resulted in the car being smashed by a southbound CSX freight train, Villages-News.com reports. Pinchuk was apprehended on foot in the area by Florida Highway Patrol officers, who also ticketed her for illegally parking on the tracks.

This story faced tough competition in the Villages crime aggregation game, most notably from the 52 year-old resident who was arrested for throwing a Christmas tree at his wife during an argument over cooking dinner. The tree reportedly broke in half, but it’s unclear if it is a fake one that could be simply reassembled or if it’s a goner. Other strong contenders would include the 64 year-old woman arrested for shoplifting “potato chips, Tostitos Scoops, cinnamon muffins, cheesecake, Bic lighters, pistachios and beef sticks” from a local Walmart, the 74 year-old woman arrested for hitting her 79 year-old male companion over the head with a wine bottle, or the post-trivia night golf cart DUI arrest of a 63 year-old Villages man. Despite its lengthy absence from National Zero we still don’t want to overplay coverage of the vast, dystopian retirement community’s effectively limitless supply of stupid crime stories, particularly if it only really comes from one site upstream.

Villages, Florida sex offender Edward Charles Wardingley, 61, who lives with his mom and was a registered Republican until he was convicted in 2018 of lewd and lascivious molestation of a victim between the ages of 12 and 15, serving three years in prison and losing his right to vote, is in trouble with the law again after he was was arrested Saturday night on a charge of driving under the influence and a parole violation, Villages-News.com reports.

It’s not clear if the Republican was driving his mom’s car or golf cart when he was pulled over on his way back to her house after drinking at some place like Applebee’s, probably on a tab with her credit card. It’s likely he complained about liberal groomers and leeches ruining America to whoever he thought was listening to him as he downed pint after pint of Miller Lite from an Imperial pint-sized glass and picked at his buffalo wings. Probably stiffed the 26 year old single mom bartender out of a tip after she wouldn’t give him her phone number, leading her to note his license plate number as he drove off, then calling police to tell them she witnessed that same car with that tag number swerving all over the road, leaving out that she was the one who had served him.

At least two or three of the above points of speculation we made to fill in the gaps here has to be true. Yeah, circumstances should speak for themselves, but why not have a little fun with this one?

??? NATIONAL ZERO EXCLUSIVE – THEY WERE CAUGHT ??? EXPLOSIVE new revelations in a Monday Villages-News.com story about SEVENTEEN different gates being removed on Monday so non-Villages resident voters would be able to access polling locations reveals a RINO FRAUD against Laura Loomer! SHE DIDN’T LOSE IT WAS STOLEN! The Villages management KNEW non-residents would vote against Loomer because she speaks the TRUTH about the RINOS like woke loser DAN WEBSTER! They sent their MULES to remove the gates and lower the quality of the GOP primary voters! People who don’t pay as much attention to the real issues were allowed in to vote!

It’s the crime of the century! It’s GATEGATE! They hate Jews! Loomer is Jewish so the Villages management is ANTI-SEMITIC! They made it easy to vote and easier to cheat! FUCK!

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage now that we’ve tossed some red meat to our right wing readers. We hope they enjoyed this Gateway Pundit-style article.

A Villages, Florida woman faces a felony child abuse charge after she attacked a 12 year old neighbor who called her an “elephant” while she was smoking a cigarette, Villages-News.com reports. Lake Sumter Apartment Homes resident and registered Republican Samantha Dawn Nelson, 32, was having a smoke when the child accurately described her as the spirit animal of the GOP but for whatever reason she took offense and began attacking him, claiming the kid was a punk and had been knocking on people’s doors in the middle of the night.

It’s Nelson’s second arrest in under a year, as she was cuffed on October 14th for DUI after crashing her car. Nelson reportedly blew a .279, nearly four times the legal limit – with her child in the car – and admitted she had been drinking beer and peppermint schnapps.

According to FEC filings, far right racist scumbag Laura Loomer has outraised her primary opponent, incumbent Republican Congressman Dan Webster in her bid for the Villages-area Florida 10th District, Villages-News.com reports. Loomer has raised $665,021 in campaign funds through June 30th while Webster took in $552,103, so we’re not talking an absolutely apocalyptic lead here, but still it’s a sign that the woman who once chained herself to the door of a Twitter office to protest being banned for life over her racist bullshit is a credible future Congresswoman.

Loomer’s previous US House bid in 2020 for Florida’s 21st District, home to Mar-a-Lago, saw her completely annihilated by incumbent Dem Congresswoman Lois Frankel, losing by 80,000 votes, despite securing the coveted endorsement of Matt Gaetz. The move north to redder pastures in the state may prove to have been a smart one for the ghoulish white nationalist millennial influencer.

Sumpter County, Florida prosecutors declined to charge a Villages Karen arrested and jailed following a perilous June 27th altercation with the kitchen staff of her assisted living facility over the way her chicken was prepared, Villages-News.com reports.

The incident began when Sumter Senior Living resident Karen Elaine Linder, 79, a registered Republican, pulled a total Karen move and got into “a disagreement,” with a staff member “about the type of chicken which she was served and that it was the wrong type.” Karen then followed the female staff member into the kitchen and “pushed her with both of her hands.” Sumpter County Sheriff’s deputies responded, placing Karen in handcuffs and transporting her to the county jail, where she spent the night before being released on her own recognizance the next afternoon. It’s not clear why the Sumpter County District Attorney’s office dropped the charges last week.

Villages, Florida Trump fan Karen Frances Hackett pleaded no contest Tuesday to a charge of driving under the influence in the December 2021 post-Christmas golf cart parade curb crash that left her and a passenger injured, securing a deal that dismissed her disorderly conduct charge, Villages-News.com reports. The saga began at 7:30 PM on December 11, 2021, when Karen, 63, was driving home after drinking all day at the annual Christmas Golf Cart Parade at the Polo Grounds. Karen’s golf cart struck a curb in Lake Sumter Landing, sending her and an unidentified passenger tumbling onto the lawn in front of TooJay’s Gourmet Deli and Sonny’s BBQ. Diners seated on the patios of both establishments watched as Karen screamed “Get me [Governor Ron] DeSantis”, “I’m not vaccinated”, and profanities aimed at President Joe Biden to responding EMTs.

Karen and her passenger were both transported to a local hospital, where the boozy MAGA Villager was “belligerent” toward a nurse. Karen blew a range between 0.246 and 0.249 BAC in several breathalyzer tests, more than triple the legal limit of 0.08 in Florida. Per Villages-News, Karen was sentenced to a six month driver’s license suspension, a year of probation, and 50 hours of community service – the last of which she has asked the court to allow her “buy out” of.